<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Blinded by the Lights by ALucera47</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28010094">Blinded by the Lights</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ALucera47/pseuds/ALucera47'>ALucera47</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Feels, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Gang Violence, Manipulation, Memory Loss, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Redemption, Sexual Content, Unrequited Love, alternative universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 20:34:24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>91,158</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28010094</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ALucera47/pseuds/ALucera47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The city of Fodlan is plagued with gang wars between the four major factions : the Black Eagles, the Blue Lions, the Golden Deer and the Ashen Wolves.   Three years ago, Byleth, a former mercenary to all the gangs, decided to adjust her clientele to only the Lions and the Deer after growing particularly found of a few of their gang members.  Seeing her as a valuable asset, the Black Eagles capture Byleth and brainwash her into helping them.  They force her to fight her former friends.  A year after her capture she escapes their hold and attempts to run back to the side she wishes to fight for.  Linhardt removes the curse but in the process, Byleth is left without three years of memories.  As she struggles to regain her past, those closest to her fight to help her, or in some cases manipulate her.  A year is a long time to commit atrocities and Byleth struggles to figure out who still really cares for her and who just wants to use her as a tool for success.  </p><p>Will Byleth recover all her memories?  Will she be able to help the Lions and the Deer finally end this bloody battle with the Eagles?  Will she actually figure out who is the most important person in her life before it's too late?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/My Unit | Byleth, Felix Hugo Fraldarius/My Unit | Byleth, My Unit | Byleth/Claude von Riegan, Sylvain Jose Gautier/My Unit | Byleth</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>56</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Awakening</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello peoples!  Welcome to my new story! I decided to move away from my smutty writing and do a more plot driven story.  This is inspired by a scene that plays in my head every time I hear the Weekend's Blinded by the Lights.  Music is such a wonderful inspiration to writing!  </p><p>To set the scene a bit this story is happening in modern times (more like the 90s) but without cell phones and modern weapons.  We still have the Fire Emblem weapons and magic.  Also there is no set houses persay.  Some of the Eagles are in the Deer, some of the Lions are in the Eagles, etc...  I'm not sure how much the Wolves will come into play but they are around.  </p><p>Also don't let the relationship tags fool you, this is not a polyamory like my other work.  There is one end relationship goal in this story but at one point or another the four couples I listed will have some type of romantic interaction, probably a nice heated one:)  </p><p>I'm not sure how often I'll post.  I'm hoping once a week but I need to finish the Cost of the Crest of Flames and I have an original piece I'm publishing. </p><p> </p><p>Thanks for reading!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Heavy breathing echoed in the alley way that matched the sound of clicking heels.  Water clung to the brick walls as the rain coated everything it could find.  It was cold...but then why did she feel so alive? And why was she running?</p><p>There was a fear coursing through her body, pushing her forward.  She had to get away, needed to escape.  Who was she running from?  The Black Eagles...right?  Everything was a haze.  She had no idea where she was or where she was going, but she knew she was being chased.  And him...she needed to find him.</p><p>Byleth turned a corner and ran into a solid form.  The next second her throat was gripped painfully by a large hand and her back slammed against the wall.  Her mind went fuzzy as she tried to breathe.  </p><p>“You dare come into my territory?” a cold voice said in front of her.  “You know I have to kill you now.”</p><p>Byleth opened her eyes to see a beautiful ice blue one staring at her face.  Long golden blonde hair hung in her captors face while a black patch covered the other eye.  She knew this face but it was different… Why did he look older and war torn? Why was he hurting her?</p><p>“Dima?” she managed to say.  His eye went wide and his grip loosened enough for her to speak again.  “Why are you threatening me? Help me, please!” she pleaded as the threat of those stalking her flared back into her body.  She used all her strength to wiggle out of his grasp. Dimitri dropped her to the ground, her knees hitting gravel.  </p><p>Byleth tried to run again but her body refused her commands.  She stumbled forward where another form caught her.  This time she found herself looking into two cold vermilion eyes.  </p><p>An odd relief settled in her chest at the sight.  “Fe?” He too looked different...  What the hell was going on?  She reached out a trembling hand to touch his face, but he stopped it, gripping her hand painfully.  “Fe, help me please.  My mind is hazy…I can’t...remember…”  She slumped forward in his arms.  She almost gave into the desire to pass out but other images flashed through her mind.  Warmth and love, someone to live for.  Byleth forced her mind to stay awake.  “I need to get away...they are coming” she said into his shoulder.</p><p>Felix shifted her back again and examined her state.  “Who are you running from? You’ve already been captured by your enemy.”</p><p>His cold voice washed over her.  It felt like someone was stabbing her with icicles.  Why were they being so distant with her?  Weren’t they on the same side?</p><p>“What?...No...the…”  It was so hard to talk.  Her mind wasn’t cooperating.  “The Black Eagles...they are trying to turn me… against you.”  Byleth almost passed out but Felix gripped her jaw roughly.</p><p>“What are you talking about? They already succeeded in that.”  </p><p>His eyes bore into hers.  That cold unaffected stare was killing her.  She reached a shaking hand to stroke his beautiful face.  He let her this time.  “No...never.  Please they can’t...Don’t let them take me…”</p><p>“This is another trap” Dimitri said.  “Another one of Edelgard’s games.”</p><p>Felix stared at the half conscious woman in his arms.  She was incredibly weak and pale, completely drenched by the rain.  This didn’t feel like another trap, no matter how much his mind was trying to agree with Dimitri.  “Let’s take her to the lazy mage.  He can tell us if it’s a trick.”</p><p>Dimitri practically growled.  “Since when are you such a fool Felix? If I said those words you’d call me an idiot.”  </p><p>Felix looked down at the woman in his arms.  She softly said “With you…” before completely passing out. </p><p>Again Felix knew Dimitri was right although he did not want to admit it.  But for some reason he could not let this go.  “No matter what, she will be out of Edelgard’s hands for a while.  How much damage can she do right now?  She is barely able to function.” </p><p>Dimitri let out a cold laugh.  “We both know how much damage that woman can do.”</p><p>The sound of running feet hitting the wet pavement echoed in the alleyway.  “I think she went this way.  We need to bring her back to Enbarr before the spell wears off.  Hurry up Petra.” </p><p>The Aegir heir...both Felix and Dimitri recognized that pompous voice.  So the Black Eagles were looking for her.  Dimitri held out his arms.  Felix hesitated for a moment before letting him take Byleth.  They could move faster if Blaiddyd strength carried her.  Felix hoped he hadn’t just made a huge mistake…</p><p>---</p><p>Byleth opened her eyes.  Panic rippled through her body as she found herself in a room she didn’t recognize.  She tried to get up but couldn’t move her limbs.  She was strapped to a bed.    </p><p>“No use in struggling. The prince bound you himself” a voice said lazily next to her. </p><p>Byleth glanced to the man sitting at the desk, his back to her.  She didn’t need to see the face to know who he was.  Long emerald locks lay down his back, partially pulled into a messy bun to keep them out of his face.  He stood up and pulled the chair to the side of the bed where she saw his beautiful porcelain skin and blue eyes that were so like her own.  Despite recognizing him, he looked...older?  </p><p>“Lin?”</p><p>Linhardt gave her a lazy smile.  “Good to see you haven't completely lost your memory.”</p><p>“What are you talking about? And why am I strapped to a bed?”</p><p>Linhardt sighed.  “This is such a bother.  Why do I have to be the one to explain this to you?”  He reached out and grabbed her wrist.  Faith magic poured across her body, then settled on her forehead, seeping into her mind. “What’s the last thing you remember?”</p><p>“Ummm” she tried to think but pain shot through her mind, causing her to whimper.  Linhardt noticed and increased the magic, helping to soothe the pain as she tried to remember.  “My birthday…”</p><p>“What do you remember about your birthday?” he prompted.</p><p>“We had a party...at Claude’s club...Mercie made me a cake...Ashe gave me a bouquet of violets...Sylvain and Claude wouldn’t let me leave the dance floor…You gave me a book about ancient crest lore.”  She stopped, the pain increasing.</p><p>“That’s enough.”  Linhardt let his magic help her a bit more before pulling back.  He sighed again and ran his long fingers through his hair.  “Byleth...that was three years ago.”</p><p>“What!” she said trying to sit up but the restraints held her down.  “What are you talking about? And why am I restrained?”</p><p>“A year ago, Edelgard captured you and Hubert cast a brainwashing spell on you.  They...made you work for them, convinced you the Lions and the Deer were the enemy.” </p><p>“What? No! I…” She screamed out in pain as she tried to remember.  Her head felt like it was trying to split open.</p><p>“Byleth you can’t force your mind right now.  I removed Hubert’s spell but it caused memory loss. I don’t think it’s permanent but you can’t push yourself.  It will take time to heal.”  Linhardt reached out and gently stroked her cheek.  “You need more rest.  I promise I’ll tell you as much as I can when you wake up again.”</p><p>“Tell me now Lin!” she shouted, then hissed out in pain again.</p><p>Linhardt sighed and called forth his magic.  He placed a glowing white hand on her forehead, forcing her into a deep sleep.  Byleth tried to fight it but failed.  Darkness consumed her mind</p><p>--</p><p>Linhardt opened the door to his room and found several people waiting in the hallway.  He groaned.  This was all such a bother.  He motioned them to follow him down stairs and into the bar at the club, which was currently closed since it was the middle of the day.  He was grateful that Sylvain moved behind the bar and mixed him one of his favorite drinks, Angelic tea with blackberry rum.  </p><p>“So? Is this some sort of trap?”  Dimitri asked impatiently.  “We need to know how to handle this.”</p><p>Linhardt sighed and stirred his drink, trying to cool the piping hot liquid before taking a sip.  Being with the Lions was always so...much.  They were an emotional bunch, not unlike the Deer who just wanted to have fun.  They took the mob gang life too seriously, rarely enjoying its spoils, but then again the Lions were in an all out gang war with the Black Eagles.  </p><p>“As I told you earlier, and several times before, Hubert brainwashed Byleth.  She’s been mindlessly obeying their commands for over a year now.  I’ve successfully removed the curse but it’s going to take her a while to recover.”</p><p>“How was she? Did you talk to her?” Sylvian asked.</p><p>“She’s confused and doesn’t understand why she is strapped to a bed.” Linhardt made sure to give Dimitri a long look before continuing.  The prince set his jaw as if he was trying to hold back from speaking. </p><p>“Can we see her?” Ashe asked.</p><p>“Not yet... she…” Linhardt twisted his lips, trying to figure out the best way to say this.  Byleth had been one of his closest friends before the Eagles took her.  He could easily fill in the two years of her life she was missing before her capture, but it didn’t seem right to do so.  A lot happened in those two years and he did not want to provide false information he might have misremembered.  It would be best to let her mind heal on its own.  “The last thing she remembers is her birthday party three years ago.  Every time she tries to recall more recent events she screams out in pain.  It will take her awhile to remember, if she does at all.”</p><p>Linhardt scanned the faces of those he knew this would affect the most; Claude, Sylvain, Dimitri and Felix.  These four all had a deep connection to Byleth that had blossomed in those missing two years.  Some of it was akin to his own relationship with her, a deep friendship.  Some of it was love, whether or not it was returned by her.  Linhardt took a deep gulp of his drink, letting the wonderful fruity soothing taste give him courage to speak the next part.</p><p>“Under no circumstances can anyone tell her anything deeply personal that happened in those missing years before she was captured.  Byleth needs to remember on her own or she might not ever.  None of you can influence her on what happened in her past.  It would be like manipulating her.  This is extremely important to her recovery.”</p><p>Everyone’s face fell at this news.  Linhardt took another sip of his drink.  </p><p>“What can we tell her?” Ashe asked.</p><p>“Most things will be fine.  It will be good for her to understand and really feel like you are all her friends, that is of course if you truly still feel that way.  I know she hurt many of you during her time with the Eagles.  I do not believe she will be able to recover that particular portion of her memories since they were tainted with Hubert’s curse.  We all remember how shut off Byleth used to be.  It took a long time to get her to open up to anyone.  It might be best to treat her like that, like someone who does not understand their emotions or other peoples actions.  Tread lightly over issues such as romance and loss.”  He took another sip of his drink.  “I will let you know when she can have visitors.  For now let her be.”</p><p>The others moved away to get themselves a drink, while the four Linhardt was most concerned about remained around him.</p><p>“You will keep me updated on her condition?” Dimitri asked.  “I know you say she is fine now, cleansed of her curse, but I do not want anyone thinking she is not still a threat.  In fact maybe I should take her back with me.”</p><p>Claude smacked Dimitri hard on the shoulder.  “Come on your princeliness.  Byleth doesn’t need to be locked away in your cold pristine club.  She needs fun and excitement!  I say she stays here with me and Lin.  It will be best for her recovery.”  Claude winked at Linhardt.</p><p>“Claude is right.  We should not move her for a while at least, or treat her like a prisoner.  I will be removing those bonds” Linhardt said.</p><p>“That’s foolish” Dimitri spat.</p><p>“Stop treating her like she is still the enemy!” Felix said.  “Linhardt cleared her. If you want to use her to win this fight then you need to let her recover.”  </p><p>Dimitri growled.  “Fine, but I want one of my people here at all times.”</p><p>“I’ll do it! Not like I don’t hang out here enough as it is” Sylvain offered.</p><p>“No, I’ll do it. This idiot will just drink and have a good time. He won’t pay attention to her” Felix said.</p><p>“That’s not fair Fe! I pull through when it matters!” Sylvain defended.  “Besides we all know you’re not the best one to look after her either.”</p><p>Felix growled then turned and walked away.  The Lions were always so damn emotional...Linhardt sighed again and took another sip of his drink.  His world was about to get more dramatic than it already was.  </p><p>-<br/>
An hour later Linhardt returned to his room to check on Byleth.  He wasn’t at all surprised to see Felix standing over her, a hand gently caressing her cheek.  Linhardt frowned.  He could only imagine how difficult this was for Felix.  His whole world had been nothing but pain for the last year.  Seeing the woman you loved in the hands of the enemy, pointing a sword at you every time the gangs clashed.  Those cold eyes that showed no signs of recognition or affection for you...must have killed him.  </p><p>“She doesn’t remember anything...about...?” Felix asked quietly, not pulling his eyes from Byleth.</p><p>“No. But that could change.”  Felix clenched his fist.  “Look, I’m not romantic and I care very little for the notion but...whether or not she remembers does not mean you two can never get to a place you once were” Linhardt said.</p><p>“Tsk.” Felix pulled his hand from her.  “You’re not a romantic so don’t speak such nonsense.”  </p><p>Felix walked up next to him.  Linhardt could see how glassy the cold swordsman’s eyes were.  It had only been the second time he’d seen Felix this way. </p><p>“Just fix her. Do whatever you can to keep her from pain. I’ll try to keep those other assholes from poisoning her mind with lies.”</p><p>Felix made to walk for the door.  Normally, Linhardt wouldn’t say anything more but he remembered them together… Remembered the way Byleth acted around Felix… Remembered the way his beautiful friend spoke of the swordsman… her eyes always looked so… </p><p>“So you’re not going to say anything to her?”</p><p>“You said not to” Felix said.</p><p>“I know but I mean… Are you going to try to win her heart?”</p><p>“I never tried before so why would I do that now?”  </p><p>Felix walked out and Linhardt groaned.  Maybe he should have told him whose name Byleth was saying in her confused hazy state before he completely removed Hubert’s curse…</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Odd Reactions</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Byleth struggles to accept that she's lost three years of her memories and was once an enemy to those she calls friends.  Her body keeps reacting in unfamiliar ways as she is reintroduced to people she cares for.   Byleth struggles with what is the truth and who she can ultimately trust.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Images plagued her dreams.  A mix of happy and horrifying.  Nothing made sense.  Instead of flowing like a dream should, it jumped around constantly.  One moment she’d feel warm skin against hers, then the clammy flesh of someone she was fighting.  The heated kiss of a lover, then the hot blood of her enemies coating her hand after she stabbed them.  White haze of clouded visions, then a clarity that felt so real.  She was trapped right?  Not safe...not safe.  Fear gripped her, forcing her eyes to open.  Byleth cried out as the images faded.  </p><p>She sat up so fast her vision went black.  The second it faded, Byleth got out of the bed.  Her knees went weak with a lack of use and she stumbled forward.  She had no idea where she was but she needed to escape.  With effort she opened the door and tried to run.  Someone was sitting on the floor to her right so she went left.  Her sloppy progression was halted as the person grabbed her arms and pulled her against their chest.  Byleth tried to fight off whoever held her, but they had both of her wrists, and a leg placed between hers so she could trip or kick him.  Why weren’t her muscles working the way she wanted?</p><p>“Byleth stop struggling. You’re in no danger. Calm down. Please don’t make me hurt you.”</p><p>Byleth immediately stopped, the cold voice of Felix Fraldarius oddly calming her down.  She looked up and caught a glimpse of his vermilion eyes in the moonlight that was spilling through a large ceiling window. </p><p>“Felix…” she said slowly, as if she needed to remind herself of who he was.  Why did his name sound so odd coming from her mouth?  She noticed his stare harden and she flinched.  “I’m sorry. I don’t understand what’s going on. Where am I?”</p><p>“Claude’s club. Do you remember what happened?”</p><p>It took her a few seconds to recall the last time she was awake.  “Lin said...I was captured by the Eagles...they brainwashed me...I’m missing three years of memories…”  Byleth’s body began to tremble with shock, tears filled her eyes, crying for memories she no longer had.  She was missing something...something very important.  “No...No...No! Please tell me that’s not true” she pleaded with Felix.  “Please Felix I…” Byleth was beginning to hyperventilate.  She could barely breathe, but she wanted answers, wanted to be told it was a sick joke.  </p><p>“Calm down” Felix commanded coldly.  </p><p>For some reason the way he was talking to her caused her heart to tighten.  Why was he being so cold?  What had she done to him?  “Did I...did I hurt you?” she managed to say between heaving breathing.  “Goddess...did I hurt you while I was gone?!” she shouted at him. </p><p>Felix had never looked at her so icily before.  Even when they barely knew each other.  It was just indifference, then respect, then friendship?  Yes, they had been friends according to her last memories.  They trained almost every day together since she quit being a mercenary for all the gangs and only catered officially to the Blue Lions and the Golden Deer.  So what had she done to Felix?</p><p>“No. Now you need to calm down.”</p><p>Byleth was still shaking, her breathing hard to control.  “You’re lying.”  Felix’s eyes went wide.  “I don’t know...why I know that...but I do.”  She grabbed his forearms since it was the only thing she could reach with the way he was holding her.  “Felix I…” she tried to force her mind to remember.  What did she do to him?  Odd memories she couldn’t explain flashed in her mind, followed by unbelievable pain.  Her knees gave out and Felix caught her.</p><p>“Shh ba…” he stopped then began his sentence again. “Shhh you need to calm down. Please.”  </p><p>He said this so softly it confused Byleth.  She glanced into his eyes again and this time there was concern.  Tears fell down the side of her face.  This was so frustrating.  It must be a bad dream.  Please just be a bad dream!</p><p>Felix picked her up and carried her back into the bedroom.  He was about to place her on the bed but she clung to him fiercely.  For some reason she did not want to let him go.  Felix stared at her for a few moments then sat down on the bed, keeping her cradled against his chest.  </p><p>“Focus on your breathing. You need to calm down. I know you’ll get through this” he said matter-of-factly.  </p><p>Felix’s words soothed her and she did as he commanded.  Despite the fact that her breathing was normalizing, her tears were not.  There was this deep pain in her chest, worry of what she had done to him.</p><p>“Whatever I did to you I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”</p><p>He held her tighter against him and shushed her again.  “I wasn’t lying. You didn’t do anything wrong.”  </p><p>Why did she believe him now?  There was something in his voice that sounded so pained.  She’d never heard Felix sound like that before.  Byleth also did not recall him every being gentle or caring to someone.  It was nice...she just wanted to fall asleep in his arms…</p><p>Felix shifted to lay her down.  She clung to him.  He sighed.  He had never seen Byleth this way before.  He had no idea what to do or how to act.  The fact that she kept calling him Felix made it clear to him that she didn’t remember anything new.  </p><p>“Byleth you need to sleep more. You’ll feel better soon. Linhardt says your memories should return slowly with rest.” </p><p>“I...Felix” she said against his neck.  “I’m...feeling so many things right now.  I don’t understand…”</p><p>Felix stared at her.  It was like Linhardt said, she was exactly like she was three years ago.  Uncertain of her emotions, a closed off mercenary slowly letting people into her life.  Her mind was the sheltered mercenary who struggled to trust people, but her body was responding to emotions she had gotten used to feeling after two years with the Lions and the Deer.  Felix felt a bit of hope wrap around his heart.  If her body remembered, maybe her mind could too.  He tried to shake away the hope, too afraid it would ultimately crush him.  </p><p>“You will understand. Just give it time. Go back to sleep.”  Felix tried to let her go again but she still clung to him.</p><p>“Are we...still friends?” she asked quietly.  </p><p>Felix bit his lip but forced the word “yes” from his mouth.  Technically it wasn’t a lie.  No matter how hard he tried to see her as the enemy he always failed.  Although he never had a chance to kill her during their year of fighting he did have a few opportunities to seriously injury her.  In fact, he noticed a large scar on her collarbone that he was certain was from him.  That shot could have been her lungs…but when the time came to do it, he failed.  No matter how many times they physically hurt each other, neither of them managed to do anything serious.  Felix had seen what she could do to their friends...it made him wonder if somewhere deep down a piece of her true self was fighting off the spell.  Again, wishful thinking. </p><p>“If...you’re my friend...will you stay? I know...you hate physical contact that isn’t fighting...but...please I don’t want to be alone.”  </p><p>Those big glassy blue eyes stared up at him.  Felix had to stop himself from stroking her cheek and trying to pull the sadness away.  </p><p>“Until I fall asleep at least?”</p><p>Goddess, even now, after everything that had happened, he could not refuse this woman. He nodded his head and she attempted to smile.</p><p>“Thank you. I’ll make this up to you somehow” Byleth said, finally letting him go and laying down on the bed. </p><p>Felix watched her crawl toward the wall then turn to face him.  His heart was pounding loudly in his ear.  Slowly he pulled his shoes and jacket off then moved under the covers with her.  Byleth immediately reached out and wrapped her arms around his neck, their faces suddenly an inch apart.  Her eyes went wide at her own gesture.</p><p>“Oh I’m sorry...Is this ok? I don’t know why I did that. I’m not usually this touchy with someone...I think.”</p><p>Felix almost wanted to see what she’d do but instead he wrapped an arm under her waist and pulled her against his chest.  Byleth shifted in understanding, moving one arm underneath her body and the other around his waist. </p><p>“Just sleep” he said softly.  </p><p>Byleth took a deep breath then sighed against him.  Something about the way Felix smelled caused her eyes to water again, sandalwood and leather…it was nice.  It made her feel safe.  She let her fingers wrap into his shirt, before finally relaxing and attempting to fall back asleep.</p><p>Felix watched her, his body rather stiff.  He had no idea what to do.  Should he try to sleep?  Should he wait until she was out then go back to his post in front of her door?  Should he pull her closer?  Goddess he wanted to smell her skin, curious to know if she still had the same scent he was addicted to once.  Byleth was completely relaxed against him, besides the death grip she had on his shirt.  It was oddly comforting just how much she trusted him already.  Had she always? </p><p>Felix tried to remember what they were like three years ago.  He was pretty certain it was right after she agreed to help the Lions.  The second she had, he was eager to claim as much of her time as possible in the training grounds.  So...they must have seen each other daily.  Which means...he was in heavy denial of his feelings for her.  Byleth was so stoic with her short blue hair, muscular figure and beautiful precision with a blade.  She rarely emitted any tells of her movements, was always ready for more and did not hesitate to correct him; the perfect sparring partner.  He wanted to spend every second with her and had lied to himself that it was because of how powerful she was, how much he could learn from her.  If only he had realized his feelings sooner...maybe he could have prevented this last hellish year.</p><p>He let his eyes roam her body.  Byleth’s hair was no longer short but hung down to the middle of her back.  He remembered not long after the Eagles took her, they dyed it black as a giant fuck you to the Lions.  Now it was back to its normal deep blue.  He wanted to run his fingers through it, wanted to pull her closer, but all of that would be selfish.  If Byleth needed a friend right now, then that’s what he would be.  He’d go back to how they were three years ago.  Quiet, amicable friends who enjoyed each other’s silent company between strikes of their swords.  Goddess the thought killed him, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as losing her again.  She was in his arms right now and he needed to savor that.  Felix ignored his better judgement and pulled her tight against him.  He placed a kiss on her forehead and ran his fingers lightly through her hair.  She gave a little contented sigh.  He’d go back to brooding tomorrow and focus on protecting her to the best of his ability. </p><p>-</p><p>Byleth woke up to the sound of muffled voices.  She cracked her eyes and realized she was alone in her bed.  An odd hollow feeling filled her chest.  She shifted to see Linhardt standing in the doorway, talking to...Claude and Hilda...she determined based on the sound of the voices.  </p><p>“Felix leaves his post for a second and you’re already here” Linhardt stated. </p><p>“Hey you know me, always the schemer.  Now come on, let me inside” Claude said.</p><p>“She’s still sleeping.”</p><p>Byleth noticed Claude’s handsome face shift around Linhardt.  He grinned at her.  “She looks awake to me.”  Linhardt glanced behind him and Claude took that as his chance to walk in.  “Hey ya Teach.  How are you feeling?” Claude said as he sat down on her bed and grabbed one of her hands.  </p><p>Byleth felt an odd thrill at how familiar Claude was being with her.  Teach...she thought back on the nickname...oh right she had taught him how to wield a sword.  Since then he’d jokingly called her Teach.  </p><p>“I’m not sure…This is all so hard to wrap my head around.”</p><p>Claude gently stroked the outside of her hand.  “I know” he said softly.  “But I’m with you.”</p><p>Byleth stared at him, trying to register a time when Claude spoke in such a gentle tone.  </p><p>“You’re welcome to stay at my place as long as you need.  In fact my home is yours.  It always has been” he said with a warm smile.</p><p>Byleth had no idea what that meant.  Had she been living here?  “Thank you Claude. It’s nice to know I don’t need to worry about that for a while.  But am I putting you out at all? Is there room for me?”</p><p>“Of course! I know you can’t remember but you’ve always had a place here.  Although I think some of your belongings were spread out a bit between here and Dimitri’s club since you were always back and forth so much.  If you’d like I can make sure we get everything in one room.”</p><p>Claude was being so nice to her, so sweet.  There wasn’t a hint of mischief in his eyes which was odd.  He was always scheming...  “I can get them myself” she said, longing to stretch her limbs.  </p><p>“I wouldn’t recommend leaving the club for a few days” Linhardt said as he handed her a cup of coffee.  “I want to keep an eye on you and make sure there are not any other repercussions to Hubert’s curse.  We also cannot risk the Eagles attacking you.”</p><p>Byleth noticed Felix standing next to the doorway, a scowl on his face.  Claude flashed him a grin. </p><p>“I bet Felix wouldn’t mind bringing your stuff from Dimitri’s. Isn’t that right Felix?” Claude prompted. </p><p>Felix’s eyes went wide for a second, then he looked like he was about to punch Claude.  Byleth tried to understand the swordsman’s reaction but she couldn’t fathom why this bothered Felix.</p><p>“I’m sorry Felix. If it’s an inconvenience please do not worry about it. I can do without for a while.”</p><p>Felix’s expression softened slightly as his eyes met hers.  “If you want to stay here I’ll make sure you get what you need” he said coldly.  </p><p>Oh good, we were back to the cold broody swordsman.  Byleth frowned.  She really must have put him out last night… She watched his vermilion eyes rest on Claude’s hand, gently stroking her free one.  An angry line formed on his forehead and he gripped his fists tightly.  He glanced at Claude again who just smiled, then left the room.</p><p>Byleth sighed.  “What the hell did I do to him?” </p><p>“That wasn’t about anything you did” Claude said matter-of-factly.  “Now, Hilda has volunteered to take you to the bathing chambers in case you need help.  After that I hope you can join me for breakfast.  I’d love to try and figure out where your mind is in terms of our relationship”  Claude said with a wink and a gentle kiss to the back of her hand.  </p><p>“Claude…” Linhardt said in a low voice.</p><p>Claude chuckled.  “Don’t worry. I won’t tell her anything. I just want to know what she remembers so I can tread lightly.”  Claude stood up, gave a little bow, then left the room.  </p><p>“Tell me anything?” Byleth asked.</p><p>Linhardt sighed.  “For your recovery I told them not to reveal anything deeply personal to you that might have happened.  For instance if you were in a relationship with anyone.  It is best if you remember these things on your own.  It will also help me understand how you’re recovering.  I’d hate it if you mind reformed memories based on what others told you.  It wouldn’t be fair if you lost a precious memory because someone tampered with it.”</p><p>Byleth frowned.  She let her eyes take in Linhardt and realized he was acting out of character.  He was actually worried, appeared exhausted and was putting effort into something.  “Lin? Why are you so concerned about me? Are we…can you tell me if we were close?”  </p><p>Linhardt frowned and sat down on the bed.  “I’ll tell you that we never stopped being friends.  That’s the most important thing.”</p><p>Byleth glanced at Hilda who smiled and nodded.  Ok...she could trust them right?  Why was she even asking this question?  She needed a moment to breathe.  A bath sounded nice.  Byleth stood up and motioned for Hilda to lead the way.</p><p>-<br/>After Byleth soaked in the large tub, with incredibly hot water, she was finally able to breathe a bit easier.  This was going to be hard but she’d figure out a way through it, figure out how to get her memories back, figure out the important pieces she knew she was missing. </p><p>Byleth climbed out of the tub and wrapped a towel around herself.  She walked out into Claude’s bedroom.  For some reason he insisted that she use his tub.  Hilda was sitting on the gang leader’s bed next to a couple of outfits.  </p><p>“Pick whatever you’d like! Some of this is mine and other’s are yours. I wanted to give you a few...fashionable choices since you never really bought yourself new clothes.”</p><p>Well at least Hilda seemed the same… Byleth gravitated to her standard black pants and black sleeved crop top.  Hilda sighed.</p><p>“Really By? You don’t want to try something new?”</p><p>“Maybe my standard outfit will help jog my memory” Byleth said as she got dressed. </p><p>“I’m sure it will make some people happy to have you looking...normal”  Hilda commented.  </p><p>Byleth cocked an eyebrow.  “Hilda...why is Claude being so generous to me?”</p><p>Hilda laughed.  “Well there are obvious reasons, but honestly who knows with him.”</p><p>“Obvious?” </p><p>Hilda was about to respond but stopped.  “If you only remember a bit more you’d understand.  Really it wasn’t long after your birthday…”  She sighed and leaned back, kicking her feet out like a small child.  “Why does Claude have to be such an idiot when it comes to matters of the heart?  Really this whole thing is like a blessing for him. I’m guessing he is trying to right a wrong.”</p><p>Byleth furrowed her brows trying to understand the pink haired girl’s meaning.  “Are you suggesting that Claude and I...were together…”</p><p>Hilda jumped up but shook a finger at Byleth.  “Don’t try to trick me into telling you too much. I think anything about you and Claude should come from him, and hopefully your own memory.  Now, let’s go to breakfast.”</p><p>Hilda guided Byleth to Claude’s large dining room. It was lavished in gold accents and dark colored wood pieces.  Byleth remembered liking this space.  Despite all of it’s prestige, Claude treated it like a common room.  He never used it for proper dining.  </p><p>Claude sat at the head of the table, leaning back in his chair with his feet up.  He was grinning at...Sylvain who was leaning down to talk to the Golden Deer leader.  Sylvain stood up and glanced at Byleth.  A warm smile crossed his face.  Byleth felt her heart stop.  Damn, how did he get even better looking?  Really that applied to everyone she’d seen so far.  But…Byleth suddenly felt her face get warm as a few memories tricked through her mind.  Very hot and heavy memories.  Sylvain must have noticed because he grinned.</p><p>“So you remember that much huh?” he said teasingly.  </p><p>Byleth tried to shake off their hot and heavy interludes.  She recalled asking Sylvain to take her virginity, embarrassed that she had yet to lose it.  She trusted Sylvain, in fact she was pretty sure he was her best friend at the time.  She had no idea if their relationship escalated into anything else but she very vividly remembered the incredible sex.  Wow, seeing him took a weight off her shoulder she didn’t even know was there.</p><p>Sylvain walked up to her and picked her up in a fierce hug.  He lifted her body off the ground, forcing her to wrap her arms around his neck.</p><p>“Hey baby girl. Goddess it’s so good to see you on this side again.”  He affectionately kissed her cheek then sat her back down.  </p><p>Byleth glanced up at him, her eyes locked with his warm brown ones.  She noticed a flash of something in them that pooled heat to her core.  </p><p>Sylvain bent down to whisper in her ear, while resting a hand on the exposed skin of her lower back.  “Maybe when you’re feeling better I can help you remember our more...physical relationship.”</p><p>Byleth felt her face flush red again. She cursed her stupid body and tried to brush off the effect the Gautier heir was having on her.  </p><p>“Hey now Syl. Don’t be hitting on her. She needs to recover” Hilda chastised.  </p><p>Sylvain pulled back and grinned.  “I am a firm believer that physical attention does wonders for rekindling memories.”  He licked his lips and let his eyes roam down her body.</p><p>Byleth wondered if that was true…Would physical contact help her remember?  </p><p>Thankfully Claude stepped between them and took Byleth’s hand.  “Let the woman eat” he said teasingly.  “I doubt she wants to fuck you on an empty stomach.”</p><p>Byleth smiled and followed Claude to the table.  She sat down and noticed her favorite breakfast dish, an egg sandwich with thick fatty cuts of bacon and a slice of avocado. Claude poured her some coffee then settled back to his lounging position.  Byleth tried to keep herself from eating ravenously.  She just now noticed how hungry she was.  Claude watched her with a smile on his face.</p><p>Sylvain sat down on the arm of Claude’s chair.  “I actually popped in to warn you that His Highness is on his way here.  He wants to check in on Byleth.”</p><p>Claude scoffed.  “Then what’s the point of Felix being here, guarding her door like a well trained dog?”</p><p>Sylvain snickered.  “You know Dimitri, he is very hands on, especially after…” Sylvain stopped and glanced at Byleth.  </p><p>“That still doesn’t answer my statement. I thought he trusted Felix…” Claude examined Sylvain’s odd expression.  “Wait...do you mean he blames Felix for Byleth’s kidnapping?” Claude asked, surprised.</p><p>Sylvain put his hands in the air.  “I didn’t say anything!”</p><p>Claude shifted back in his seat, a smug expression on his face.  “No wonder he’s kept his shield so close lately. I bet he can’t stand that Felix is even here, not at his side.”  Claude placed a hand on Sylvain’s thigh.  “What did Felix do that led to Byleth’s capture?” he asked sweetly.</p><p>Sylvain shook his head.  “I honestly have no idea. Felix won’t tell me either.”  Sylvain glanced at Byleth who had finished her food and was watching them curiously.  Sylvain smiled.  “I’m sure it was nothing. Dimitri probably just overreacted. Byleth was his favorite after all” Sylvain said with a wink.</p><p>Byleth was trying to process all this information.  Felix did something that caused her abduction…maybe that was why he was so cold to her at first, then so comforting later...and she was Dimitri’s favorite?  What did that mean?  The thought made her blush a bit.  Dimitri was...beautiful.  Those bright golden locks and shining ice blue eyes.  Despite his vocation as a gang boss he was always so proper and polite.  Something about him always made Byleth’s heart pound.  He was her first crush, maybe her first love...she had no idea.  It was difficult to analyze her feelings at the moment.  Secretly, she hoped something had happened between them.  </p><p>“Pray tell, what did I overreact to?” A cold voice said at the entrance of the dining area.</p><p>“Ah Dimitri!” Claude said happily, getting up to greet the Lion’s leader with a swooping bow.  “How are you this morning your Highness?”</p><p>Dimitri narrowed his eye.  “Please stop calling me that. I am not royalty.” </p><p>Byleth’s breath caught in her throat.  Her once shiny prince was now...dark.  His hair was long and unkempt and in his face, he wore an eye patch over his left eye, and he was clad in an almost all black suit, with only a navy tie to represent his affiliation to the gang.  He was also, bigger.  When did he get so tall and broad?  There did not seem to be anything left of the once sweet man she knew.  </p><p>Byleth’s body moved on it’s own.  She hadn’t even realized she got up until Dimitri caught the hand that was moving towards his face.  Byleth let out a surprised gasp.  “Oh Goddess! I’m sorry. I have no idea what possessed me to do that.”  Dimitri looked at her, his expression unreadable.        </p><p>“Byleth…” he said quietly, then seemed to remember other people were in the room.  “I see you are up and moving about.  I assume that is a good sign.”  He glanced at Sylvain who nodded his head.  “Excellent. May I speak with you, alone?” </p><p>Byleth nodded her head.  She was surprised when he kept a hold of her hand as he guided her into the next room.  Dimitri practically pushed her to sit on a cushioned ottoman while he took the chair next to it.  He placed his legs on the outside of hers, almost pinning her in place.  He bent down so his eye was level with hers then grabbed both of her hands in his.  </p><p>“I am sorry to do this but I must...Can I trust you Byleth?”</p><p>Byleth felt like he was trying to look into her soul, trying to see the very depths of its nature.  Her body was screaming at her to run, very aware that she was easily in range for the prince to grab her throat and squeeze the life out of her with his brute strength.  </p><p>“Honestly I don’t know.”  She felt Dimitri tighten his hold on her hands and pin her legs roughly together.  “In my heart I want to say yes. But the way everyone looks at me…it’s like they all think I could turn back to the darkness at any moment. They might smile but I see it…no one trusts me so I don’t know how I could possibly expect you to.”</p><p>Dimitri lessened his hold.  “As wise as ever I see” he said, his voice a bit lighter.  “Felix tells me you wish to stay here, at Claude’s. I apologize if I struggle with this information but I know it is probably better for your recovery. I just fear the Eagles might try to recapture you and Claude… Well he does not take security as seriously as I do.”  Dimitri pulled one of her hands up to his lips and kissed the back of it.  “Forgive me Byleth as I struggle to grow reacquainted with you.  I...I know that I should not trust you at all but my heart so desperately wants to. You were…”  He stopped his eye examining her face.  “I know that Linhardt advised against revealing too much but…” he reached out and stroked her cheek.  Byleth unconsciously leaned into his touch.  “You were so very important to me. It killed me when you were taken and I had to face you in this territory war.”  He grabbed the ottoman and pulled it closer, so Byleth was basically nestled between his legs.  He rested his forehead onto hers and grabbed her hands in his, gently this time.  “I thought I might have to kill you…In fact I resigned that I was probably the only one who could. So please forgive me as I struggle with this, if I act cold at times. I am sure my mind will guide me for awhile and I will be distant with you but right now...right now my heart is taking control and I…”</p><p>Dimitri cupped a hand under her chin and titled it up.  She fell into the beautiful blue iris, forgetting to breath.  Dimitri’s lips were so close to hers, she almost covered the short distance between them.  Someone cleared their throat behind them breaking the spell.  </p><p>“Not to interrupt...whatever this moment is but Ashe has a report for you” Sylvain said.  </p><p>“I see. Thank you Sylvain.”  Dimitri stood up and helped Byleth to do the same.  “I wish to speak with you more soon, but for now you should rest. I do not think it will hurt to say that you were fighting for the Lions when you were captured. You were basically one of us. I hope you will return to my side soon, but I will not pressure you. I swear.” </p><p>Dimitri walked out leaving Byleth alone.  The second he left Byleth’s knees gave out and she sat back down on the ottoman.  That was...intense.  At first she thought he was going to threaten her and then she thought he might kiss her.  </p><p>Byleth tried to wrap her mind around everything.  Sylvain had been her lover the last she remembered but was unsure if anything ever came of it.  Claude was treating her like she was one of the Deer, saying she lived here.  He was being so sweet to her which was something he never was to anyone.  Dimitri said she was basically a Lion and at his side… This didn’t quite line up with what Claude said.  And Felix…despite what Sylvain said about Dimitri overreacting, she could tell Felix did have something to do with why she was captured.  If she asked him, would he tell her? Should she even ask him?  </p><p>Byleth placed her head in her hands, absolutely frustrated that she could not remember anything she needed to.  What were all of these people to her?  Could she trust any of them?  She really wanted to but her life as a loner was not that long ago in her mind.  She struggled to think she would have completely chosen one gang.  Byleth felt tears fall down her cheeks.  She wished she could run to someone she could trust.  She wished her father was still alive… </p><p>The tears were flowing freely when someone came into the room.  Byleth felt warmth wrap around her as she was pulled against a comforting chest.  She smelled vanilla and cloves and felt calmer immediately.</p><p>“Shh it’s ok. I’m right here. I’ve got you, beautiful.”</p><p>Byleth wrapped her arms around Claude’s neck and buried into the warm flesh.  Why was she doing this?  Why did she suddenly feel at ease in his embrace?  At the moment, she honestly did not care.  It felt so amazing to be comforted like this.  </p><p>Byleth held onto Claude until her crying stopped.  He pulled back and wiped the remaining tears from her face then gave her a gentle smile.  </p><p>“I know this is hard By, but you’ll get through it. I know you will. And you have me just like you always have. I’m right here. I won’t let you go through this alone.” </p><p>Byleth stared into those mesmerizing green eyes.  “Why are you being so nice to me?  I’ve never seen you act this way to another person...at least I don’t think.”</p><p>Claude chuckled softly.  “You have, many times, but only to you.”</p><p>He stood up and offered her his hand.  “Come on. Let’s go to my room. It’s a beautiful day. We can sit on my balcony and enjoy the sunshine. I’ll let you ask me whatever you want, although I can’t promise I’ll answer you. Gotta follow Dr. Linhardt’s orders” he said with a wink.  </p><p>Byleth couldn’t help but smile.  She placed her hand in his and let him take her to his room.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I promise at some point I'll get into the innerworkings of the gangs and flush the world out more, but for now I'm trying to establish relationships.   Also my rating might change at some point.  Not sure how graphic I'm going to be yet with violence and sexual content.  </p><p>Thanks for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Uninvited Guest</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Byleth lets her guard down around Claude, prompting him to call her friends to the club for a little reunion.  A uninvited guest drops a bomb on their fun and makes Byleth shame spiral. </p><p> </p><p>Warning this chapter is huge. I could not figure out where I wanted to cut it up so I just left it be.  Enjoy!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Something about the warm sun heating up your skin was incredibly soothing… Byleth closed her eyes and focused on the red glow that was unavoidable when you basked in the sun.  When she opened her eyes again she noticed that Claude had placed her favorite drink on the table, an old fashion.  </p><p>“It might be a bit early to start drinking but I figure you need one.”  </p><p>Claude shook a glass at her, showing that she was not drinking alone. Byleth smiled and took a sip of the drink.  Goddess did she need it.  She sighed happily and sunk back in the chair. </p><p>“Now beautiful, ask me whatever you want.”</p><p>Byleth let her eyes roam across Claude.  His skin practically glowed in the sunlight.  His dark brown hair complimented his deep green eyes.  Byleth remembered how he looked before, cocky, flashy and with a braid to the side of his head.  Now he looked more mature.  The braid gone, his style more pristine but still rather fun and bright.  The most important thing to Byleth was that his amazing smile and mischievous expression were exactly the same.  For some reason she always enjoyed them.  There was just something so cool but exciting about this man.  It was hard not to have a good time with him.  But he was also charming, smart and insanely clever, which resulted in him taking over the Golden Deer gang at such a young age.  </p><p>Claude smiled at her and her heart stopped.  Damn he was more handsome than before… Byleth took another swallow of her drink.  She silently cursed her sudden extreme interest in the opposite sex.  She didn’t used to find Claude’s good looks, or Sylvain’s smile, or Dimitri body so damn distracting before…did she?  No! Of course not.  She was a mercenary.  The Ashen Demon, literally called that for her lack of emotions… What had happened to her over the last three years? </p><p>“I’m not sure where to begin…I mean I think most of what I want to ask is in violation of Linhardt’s rule. I guess maybe the thing bothering me the most is…” she took another sip of her drink.  “Did I...did I kill anyone precious to me?”</p><p>Claude’s smile vanished and he took a sip of his own drink.  “No By, you did not kill anyone important to you.”</p><p>“Please tell me you aren’t lying. You...hesitated.”</p><p>“I am not lying.”  He reached out and gripped her free hand.  “But you did kill...you did hurt people. I’m sorry By.”</p><p>Byleth let out a breath she was holding.  She was almost certain that was true.  She had killed before.  Those memories were still hers.  But no one dear to her while she brainwashed…She really needed to hear that.  Byleth leaned back and closed her eyes again.  The sun felt even better now.  She wanted to ask exactly what type of damage she inflicted but having that one question answer was enough for now.  Or was it…Since he was sitting right in front of her…</p><p>“Did I hurt you?”</p><p>Claude tilted his head slightly and gave her a weak smile.  “No, beautiful. You’ve never hurt me, ever.”</p><p>This information was incredibly soothing.  “Good. I’m glad.”  She smiled at him and he gripped her hand tighter.  </p><p>“Anything else?” Claude prompted after she was silent for a moment. </p><p>“No. I think that’s enough for now. I’m not sure if I can handle much more. You saw me earlier…”</p><p>Claude picked up his chair and moved it next to her, keeping their hands linked.  “About that...Did Dimitri say something to upset you?”</p><p>“No...but he acted rather odd. I don’t recall him ever touching me or anyone for that matter. He is typically very proper.”</p><p>“He still is...but when you were taken and brainwashed...it...affected his ability to trust people.  For a while he believed that you had just abandoned us. It took Lin two months to convince him of the brain washing and some skilled spying by Shamir to gather the evidence.  I…I’ll admit for a moment I thought you had betrayed us too. I’m sorry By. I’d like to say deep in my heart I never doubted you, but I’m not sure I can.”</p><p>Byleth frowned and reached out to stroke his cheek.  His eyes went wide at the gesture, making Byleth realize she never did this...and yet she’d done it several times since her awakening.  “Is it odd for me to touch you like this?”  </p><p>Claude placed a hand on the outside of hers and leaned into her touch.  “No, not at all. In fact you have no idea how good this feels...for you to touch me like this again.” </p><p>Byleth continued to stroke his cheek.  “Something Sylvain said earlier...about physical contact triggering memories…”</p><p>Claude chuckled.  “You think he was being serious?”</p><p>Byleth smiled.  “I remember enough about Sylvain to know better, but...I wonder if that’s not the case here. Something about this...feels familiar. I keep doing things I don’t recall ever doing before, keep touching people when I used to keep my hands to myself. Like this.”  She moved her thumb slightly to trace along the thin beard on his jaw line.  She stopped when she got to his chin, the desire to touch his full lips was incredibly tempting.  “I wonder why my hands just keep moving on their own. I reached out to touch Dimitri earlier...last night I clung to Felix and even wrapped my arms around his neck...Goddess he must have felt so uncomfortable…”</p><p>Claude grabbed her hand and kissed the palm.  “Touch me as much as you want” he said with a little wink. </p><p>Byleth paused at the heat in his voice, but she quickly brushed it off.  “Now you sound like Sylvain.”</p><p>Claude chuckled, placed another kiss on her palm, then shifted back in his seat, keeping their hands connected.  “By, I want you to understand…”  He hesitated trying to find the right words.  “We used to be very close. I’m not sure I’ve ever trusted someone as much as I have you. We are kindred spirits, outsiders in this play where we suddenly became lead characters.”</p><p>“I think you are exaggerating my importance.”</p><p>Claude sighed.  “I’m really not. You are incredibly powerful. There isn’t much you can’t do. Everyone wants you on their team or in their bed. In most cases, both. Your beauty and strength is unmatched.” </p><p>Byleth stared at Claude, trying to catch hints of flowery language but failed.  His green eyes shone with clear intensity in the sunlight.  It made her want to run but also touch him again.  </p><p>“I’m sorry. I can tell you’re being honest but...I just find that hard to believe. I’m no one important. Just a mercenary who decided that she couldn’t trust some of the other gangs.”</p><p>Claude frowned.  His expression didn’t stay solemn for long.  “I know how to prove this to you!” he said happily.  “I’ll invite everyone who loves you to the club tonight. I’m sure there are a lot of people you’d like to see.”  Claude’s face fell again.  “Would you be up for that, dancing and loud music? I’m not sure if it will affect you.”</p><p>Byleth smiled.  “That sounds wonderful. Let’s try it.” </p><p>Claude’s expression brightened again.  “Perfect! Why don’t you rest until this evening. I’ll make sure you wake up with plenty of time to get ready.”  </p><p>“Alright, but...is my room ready yet? I don’t want to put Linhardt out anymore.”</p><p>“Just sleep in mine. It’s in one of the quieter parts of this place anyway.” </p><p>Byleth bit her lip.  “Are you sure?”</p><p>“Of course.”  He offered her his hand.  “Let’s get you rested.” </p><p>Byleth wasn’t particularly happy with the idea of going back to sleep.  She knew it was crucial to her recovery to get a lot of rest but the dreams...nightmares...odd memories...they were haunting in a way.  She almost wished she could find Felix and ask him to cuddle with her again.  Goddess he made her feel so safe.  How could he possibly be responsible for her kidnapping?  </p><p>“What’s wrong?” Claude asked. </p><p>She must have been staring at his hand for a while.  “I...I just have a hard time sleeping...with everything that’s happened.”</p><p>“Do you want me to stay with you?” </p><p>“No, no it’s ok. I can’t ask someone to always hold me while I sleep.”</p><p>Claude cocked an eyebrow.  “Who held you before?”</p><p>“Felix.”  Claude didn’t say anything but an odd look settled in his eyes.  “I’m sure I put him out. I know how much he hates to be touched.”  Claude cocked an eyebrow but decided not to comment on her observation.  </p><p>“How about I hold you until you fall asleep?” he offered.</p><p>“Goddess, I feel like such a child. Really I’ll be fine. Let me try it on my own first before I ask the leader of the Golden Deer to hold me like a scared infant.”</p><p>Claude chuckled.  “If you ever need to be held I don’t mind but I understand what you’re saying.”  He offered his hand again and this time Byleth took it.</p><p>When they got to his bed he grabbed a soft button down for her to sleep in, instead of the fitted clothing she was wearing.  Byleth was grateful.  She watched Claude leave the room then changed.  She then climbed into the massive bed with a jewel toned comforter and sheets.  She took a deep whiff of the pillow and sunk into the clove and vanilla smell that was Claude.  It was so comforting and soothing.  She hugged a pillow tight to her chest and closed her eyes.</p><p>-</p><p>Claude was not surprised that his back hit the wall the second he walked out of this door.  Angry vermilion eyes, met his as the navy haired swordsman tightly held onto Claude’s collar.  </p><p>“What the fuck do you think you’re doing? Did you take advantage of her?”</p><p>Claude chuckled.  “Geez Felix, I get that you’re overprotective but this is a whole other level. Do you not remember who you have your hands on? I’d hate to think you’d start another gang war.”<br/>Felix narrowed his eyes and loosened his grip.  “Smart man. Now I’ll admit I’m a bit appalled by your accusations. Do you think I’d take advantage of her in this state?”</p><p>“I do.”</p><p>“She’s just resting in my room. We had a nice chat and she agreed to meet some of her friends this evening. I don’t have her room set back up yet so I offered her my bed so she could rest up before this evening.”</p><p>“You want her to go dancing tonight? Are you insane? We have no idea what her mental condition is” Felix growled. </p><p>“I asked her about that. She said she wanted to try.”</p><p>“I think you don’t want her to get better. You want her to forget how much of a manipulator you are.”</p><p>Claude dropped all the pleasantry from his face and voice.  “Fine Felix. You’re right. I don’t want her to remember, but that doesn’t mean I want to hurt her. She’s entitled to her memories. I’m not going to do anything to hurt her or keep her from them.”</p><p>“You know what will happen if she remembers.”</p><p>Claude smiled coldly.  “Do I? From my understanding you are responsible for her kidnapping.”  Felix’s eyes went wide and he finally let go of Claude’s collar.  “You have no idea how she’ll act if she remembers everything. I’m sure you have your own fantastic ideas but I doubt it will be that magical. This is life Felix, not some fucking fairytail. No one knows how she’s going to react when she remembers. If anything she could...she could take it poorly, especially if she remembers everything she did with the Eagles. I’m trying to make her feel forgiven, to feel like there are those who care for her. Don’t you want that for her? Don’t you want to make sure if she feels like running away for good we can change her mind? Keep her alive?”</p><p>Felix gritted his teeth, an odd understanding reflecting in his eyes.  </p><p>“I know you’ve always thought of me as some enemy, some obstacle you need to destroy for Byleth’s heart. But right now I’m just her worried friend. Besides, maybe seeing some of her friends again will help jog her memory. Maybe hearing the music she loves will trigger good experiences.”  Claude stared at Felix for a moment.  It was clear the swordsman had nothing to say.  Claude sighed.  “Just don’t hinder her life now.”  He then walked away.</p><p>Felix clenched his fists. He wanted to punch the wall so badly but feared waking up Byleth.  Why hadn’t he considered the negative implications of her getting her memories back? He groaned and let his body fall against the wall, back first.     </p><p>--</p><p>Byleth moaned slightly, the hand caressing her face felt really nice. She must be having another dream.  This time her dreams were clearer, all filled with a handsome golden god, running his hands along her body, making her cry out in intense pleasure.  Byleth let out a little happy hum hoping this new dream would be like the last.  She reached her hands out, eager to feel the warm flesh again.  She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled his lips down to meet hers.  She sank into them, moaning happily when he opened up for her, giving her tongue access.  The male groan that vibrated across her mouth, was enough for her to realize she wasn’t dreaming.  Byleth pulled back in surprised, her hands pushing the chest away from her so she could see the man she had just violated.  Claude’s amazing green eyes were laced with desire while his face looked like he was ready to laugh.</p><p>“You weren’t kidding about your body doing things without your mind. It seems to remember more than your poor brain does” he teased.</p><p>“Claude I’m sorry I...wait what? So we’ve...done that before?” </p><p>Claude kept the smile on his face but did not respond.  Byleth groaned in frustration.  He chuckled then placed both of his hands on either side of her body.  His breath brushed across her neck.  “We can keep going. I bet your body will answer that question.” </p><p>Byleth almost took him up on his offer but she pushed away the intense desire she was feeling, blaming it on her heated dreams and their passionate kiss.  She placed her hands on his shoulders, pushing him back slightly.  </p><p>Claude took the que and shifted away.  “Sorry By, that kiss was just...Goddess, I’ve missed it.” He lightly stroked the top of one of her hands.  “The club just opened so the music is about to get loud. I figured I’d wake you before the bass does.  I didn’t mean to…interrupt what was clearing a nice dream.”   </p><p>Byleth felt her face grow warm.  Claude chuckled again.  “Maybe Sylvain was right about the physical touch thing...Let me know if you’d like to try that again later.”  </p><p>Claude shifted out of the bed.  “I’m about to get a shower. Do you need anything before I get in there?”  Byleth shook her head.  “Hilda will be here in a moment. She wants to get you “club” ready. I think she’s bringing you something to eat too.”  </p><p>Byleth watched Claude move towards his bathroom room.  He pulled his shirt off before entering the space, giving her a wonderful view of his golden skin.  Her mouth felt dry as she longed to reach out and touch it, to continue what she accidentally started.  She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.  Those dreams she just had...were they memories triggered by sleeping in Claude’s bed, smelling his scent?  Were they all real...because...wow… </p><p>Byleth laid back down in his bed, trying to calm her racing heart.  She needed to focus on the evening ahead.  Her friends would be here…she wondered who that would even be, who would show up?  Deep down she just assumed it would be no one which she’d understand...Claude said she hurt people…</p><p>Hilda burst through the door interrupting her thoughts.  “Shoo! Go get ready for the party and stop fretting over her!” she shouted at someone outside the door.  Hilda slammed the door and turned to Byleth looking exasperated.  </p><p>“Who were you talking to?”</p><p>Hilda smirked.  “Just a pest.”  She moved over to the bed and dropped the large pile of clothing she was carrying.  “For the love of the Goddess, Byleth, please let me dress you tonight.” </p><p>Byleth frowned but the hopeful determined look in Hilda’s eyes was a bit hard to resist, especially when she had no idea how many friends she actually had anymore. She nodded and the pink haired woman jumped with happiness.  </p><p>“I’ll make you look stunning...well in a less I’m about to kiss you sort of way.”</p><p>Hilda immediately pulled Byleth from the bed.  She had forgotten how strong the short woman was.  Hilda handed her a black and white dress.  Byleth was surprised it wasn’t some outlandish color.  It was a black halter top with a black and white faded hi-lo skirt.  The top was mesh around the cleavage, leaving a tease of Byleth’s curves for those who were close enough.  Byleth didn’t hate the dress, so they were off to a good start.  </p><p>Hilda moved her to a chair and started curling Byleth’s hair into big waves, while Byleth ate the sandwich Hilda brought for her.  Then she pulled the long navy locks back into a high ponytail, letting the waves cascade along her back.  She painted her face with thick eyeliner, big eyelashes and bright pink lips. </p><p>At one point Claude had returned from his shower.  He sat on his bed, only wearing a towel and watched Hilda work her magic.  Byleth kept glancing at Claude.  The smirk on his face was interesting as well as the wet naked flesh of his stomach... Hilda ended up shooing him away because Byleth kept shifting her eyes to him, ruining Hilda’s makeup job as she tried to apply the eye liner.  </p><p>Claude laughed and left to get dressed.  He appeared a few minutes later wearing white cloth fitted pants, and an open back tunic.  He also had a necklace on that sat in the middle of his chest.  Byleth thought for a moment she recognized it but… </p><p>Hilda pushed a pair of pink high heel shoes in her hands that matched her lips stick.  Byleth furrowed her brows as she looked at the high heels. </p><p>“Hilda I can’t wear these. I’ll fall!”</p><p>Hilda laughed.  “I taught you how to walk in high heels years ago. It’s like riding a bike. You’ll remember it once you take a few steps. Anyway I’m off to get ready! I’ll see you guys in an hour!” Hilda sang as she walked out.  </p><p>“An hour? That seems short for her” Claude commented.  </p><p>Byleth chuckled to herself.  She was surprised when Claude leaned towards her and draped a necklace around her neck and clasped it shut.  </p><p>“I’m not sure if you’ll remember this but I bought you this necklace after you completed a rather risky job for me.”</p><p>Byleth glanced at the pendant.  It was a diamond owl with big black diamond eyes.  Byleth’s face flushed.  She remembered the job.  She had to dye her hair mint green and pretend to be a stripper so she could get the dock manager to tell her when the next shipment of silk cloth was being delivered.  Claude wanted to hijack the ship and steal the silk.  The Deer ended up pretending to be pirates and stealing the loot.  No one ever realized it was the Deer because Claude didn’t sell the silk.  Instead he used it to make nice clothes for his gang.  Byleth remembered getting an elegant cream colored dress out of the deal that she was actually very fond of.    </p><p>“I remember...that was incredibly embarrassing!”</p><p>Claude chuckled.  “That was why I got you this necklace.”  </p><p>His fingers traced along the pendant the glided up to pull her hair from the chain.  Byleth shivered as he touched her neck.  She was suddenly aware of how close Claude was to her.  He was basically pressed against her back, his fingers touching her skin, his face an inch from hers.  He shifted slightly and placed a gentle kiss on her cheek.  </p><p>“You look amazing By. So good in fact I’d like to keep you here to myself.”  He placed another kiss on her skin, but this time her jaw. He was about to move lower but seemed to remember himself.  “Shall we go?” he said, offering her a hand.  Byleth took it and let him guide her from the room. </p><p>Byleth gripped Claude’s hand tightly as they moved towards the dance floor.  She was nervous.  Claude rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb, trying to soothe her.  </p><p>“You seem worried. What’s wrong?”</p><p>“I...I don’t know how people will...act around me now. And I don’t know how to act around them.”</p><p>“You’ve warmed up to me plenty” he teased.  </p><p>“That’s because…” Byleth stopped walking, trying to figure out what she wanted to say.  “I...I guess I already trust you. I’m sorry if that sounds ungrateful since you’ve been so nice. But you’ve always been easy to get along with.”  Claude grinned and it made Byleth smile.  </p><p>“That’s because I am incredibly charming.”  Byleth laughed and let him pull her in for a hug.  Claude kissed the top of her head.  “By, I wouldn’t have suggested this if I thought it would be hard for you...that it could hurt you. I understand that missing time is already painful but the people I invited tonight truly love you. They were your friends and they will be again.”</p><p>Byleth looked up at those beautiful green eyes.  Again she was struck with how nice Claude could be.  Her body moved on it’s own.  She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down for a gentle kiss.  Claude stole another one before he let her back away.  He looked a bit surprised that she had kissed him but his face was soft, it tugged at Byleth’s heart.  </p><p>“Thank you. I think I’m ready now but can I get a drink first?”</p><p>Claude chuckled and grabbed her hand again.  “Of course my dear.  In fact I think you’ll love to greet the bartender on duty tonight. </p><p>Claude pushed open the ornate door that led from his apartments into the club.  The stairway down went right to his private suite, a balcony that overlooked the dance floor, equipped with plus couches and pillows and a hookah setup.  Byleth glanced at the suite and fond memories of her time there kindled in her mind.  </p><p>Instead of taking her there, Claude went to the bottom of the stairs where two large bodyguards let him through and into the main club.  The space was already filled with people having a good time, drinks in hand, bodies grinding together as electric light danced across them.  Byleth spotted Sylvain easily, his tall figure moving against a purple haired girl she’d never seen before.  So there was at least one person she’d already met here.</p><p>“Bylee!!!” a squeal said, pulling her attention from the dance floor to the bar.  A green haired woman almost ran to them.  Her hair was in two high ponytails, her fresh face with bright pink blush and lips was smiling wide.  </p><p>“Flayn?”</p><p>The smaller woman leapt over the bar to pull Byleth into an awkward hug.</p><p>“Oh Bylee I’ve missed you so much! I knew you’d come back to us. I told stupid Dimitri to lighten up and that Linny would find a way to fix you. I was right!” </p><p>Byleth smiled.  Flayn was always a breath of fresh air.  She kept a positive attitude about everything and loved giving people cute little nicknames.  In all honesty she thought of Flayn as a little sister.  It would appear the small woman was not one of the people Byleth hurt, thank the Goddess. </p><p>“Claudey why didn’t you tell me Byleth was back?”</p><p>“Because I know how much you love surprises” Claude teased.</p><p>Flayn grinned.  “Oh! I’ll make your favorite drink Bylee!” she said, running off.</p><p>“Flayn is still a bartender? I thought she would have been promoted by now.”</p><p>“I tried. She likes it too much.”  Claude leaned down so no one else could hear his next words.  “She is basically one of my top lieutenants in the gang though. Her cute unassuming demeanor, paired with her magic skills and wit make her very efficient.” </p><p>Byleth let her eyes fall back on the bouncing woman.  She was wearing a bubble gum pink dress that made her look like a sweet housewife instead of a bartender.  Unassuming was definitely the word for her.  </p><p>Flayn came back to their end of the bar and placed an old fashioned in front of Byleth.  “I need to work for a few hours but when I’m done I’ll come join you guys!”</p><p>Byleth picked up her drink and took a sip.  The second she lowered the glass she noticed two vermilion eyes watching her from across the bar.  Felix was staring at her rather intently.  Byleth gave him a little wave which he did not return, just kept watching her.  Damn, she must have really upset him the other night.  Byleth frowned and was about to turn away but Sylvain wrapped a large arm around Felix, lifted up the swordsman’s hand and waved it at Byleth.  She couldn’t help but smile at the ridiculous gesture and the surprised/irritated look on Felix’s face.  Claude wrapped an arm around Byleth’s waist and gently guided her back up the stairs.</p><p>“What are you doing just sitting here sulking?” Sylvain asked Felix. “Shouldn’t you be trying to win her heart?”</p><p>“Shut up! What do you even know about any of this? You don’t care” Felix said coldly, his eyes watching Claude move Byleth up to his suite.  </p><p>“Ouch Fe! That hurts. You know I care about you.”</p><p>“Do you? Do you care about any of this anymore?”</p><p>“Geez Fe you are a prime grade asshole tonight. How do you expect to get Byleth if you’re so cold to her?”</p><p>“I...I don’t expect to get her” Felix said, taking a sip of his drink.</p><p>“What? You can’t be serious. I know you’re more of a long game type of guy but are you saying you won’t try at all?”  Sylvain took the drink out of Felix’s hand forcing him to give the redhead his full attention.</p><p>“I...I don’t know. All that matters right now is that she gets her memories back.”</p><p>“And if she doesn’t?”  Felix sighed.  “Honestly it looks like you’re letting Claude swoop in and have her. I’d bet Claude is playing towards the ending where Byleth doesn’t actually get her memories back. If that’s the case then who do you think she’ll go for? The nice charming handsome gang leader who is taking care of her and giving her a place to live or the broody angry cold swordsman who won’t even wave to her?”</p><p>Felix growled loudly and slammed his fist down on the bar top.  Flayn suddenly appeared. </p><p>“Fe Fe why are you beating up my bar top?”  Felix didn’t answer, just folded his arms.  “Sylvie why is Fe Fe so upset. Bylee is back! Shouldn’t he be happy?”</p><p>Sylvain chuckled.  “Felix doesn’t know what happy is. Apparently he is dead set on eternal misery.” </p><p>“Well that’s stupid!” Flayn shouted.  As if by magic, three shot glasses appeared on the table. In the next second they were filled with a glowing purple liquid. “Come on Fe Fe lets do a shot! That will cheer you up.”  </p><p>Felix growled but grabbed the glass.  They clinked their drinks then took the shot.  Flayn refilled them and encouraged them to do another.  Flayn grinned knowing that Felix did not handle shots well.  She glanced at Sylvain who winked at her.  </p><p>“Hey Fe I think you should help Flayn behind the bar” Sylvain suggested.</p><p>Flayn leaned over the bar and grabbed his hands.  “Yeah Fe Fe! Let’s show Bylee what we can do!” </p><p> </p><p>Byleth leaned over the railing watching the dancing crowd below her.  Claude was next to her, his arm still wrapped around her waist.  He was pointing out different people who worked for him, so Byleth knew who she could trust, and who was a gang member versus a normal civilian.  <br/>Their conversation was interrupted when Sylvain appeared.  He quickly wrapped his own arm around Byleth and pulled her attention towards the bar. </p><p>“You need to watch this. Flayn gave Felix two very strong shots and now he is going to put on a little show for us.”</p><p>“Seriously? This is like a middle of the night kind of thing, not this early” Claude said laughing. “Actually who am I to complain? I haven't seen Felix do this in a long time.”</p><p>Now Byleth was curious.  She glanced down and noticed that Felix was standing on the bar, a sword in his hands.  This did not look good.  A crowd had formed around the swordsman.  Flayn had several pieces of fruit lined up and a large bowl.  She grabbed all the fruits and threw them up the air, using a Wind spell to push them up high so she had time to grab the bowl.  Felix began to dance across the bar top, cutting the pieces of fruit into multiple slices before they landed into Flayn’s bowl.  Even from where she was, Byleth couldn’t help but admire the fluid movement of Felix’s strikes, the way his feet carefully glided along the slim bar, even with the burning alcohol in his system.  The whole club erupted into cheers when Felix managed to cut every piece and Flayn successfully caught them all.  Flayn climbed up on the bar next to Felix and made him bow with her, then she grinned at Byleth and waved.  Byleth laughed.  </p><p>“I never imagined that Felix would entertain a crowd but it was with a sword…” she said.<br/>Sylvain and Claude both laughed.  </p><p>“It’s his one and only party trick and he hates doing it. The only time he will is when Flayn gets him drunk on shots and convinces him to do it in the club” Sylvain explained.  He pulled Byleth closer to him and looked into her eyes.  “Now I think it’s time for our party trick.”</p><p>“Our party trick?” Byleth asked, confused.</p><p>“Yeah. Come on By, if you remember fucking me you must remember us dancing together.”</p><p>“Oh! I do” she said with a laugh.  </p><p>Sylvain linked their hands together and he pulled her down the stairs and into the crowded dance floor.  Multi-colored lights danced across those on the floor, encouraging them to move with the illuminated patterns.  The music was louder here, right in front of the speakers.  It brought the skin to life by forcing it to constantly hum.  The bass made your feet feel like they were moving on their own.  It was all so hypnotic and inviting.  </p><p>Sylvain had left her for a minute, speaking to the dj who she recognized as Leonie.  The orange haired woman caught Byleth’s eyes and waved with a smile.  One more person who didn’t hate her…good.  Sylvain returned and told Byleth the song he requested.</p><p>“Do you remember the dance?”</p><p>Byleth grinned and nodded.  A minute later the song changed and the dance floor cheered.  Despite the song being three years old apparently everyone was still eager to dance to it, and most of the people remembered the moves as they all lined up and started working through the steps.  Byleth let her body move to the song, trying not to think too hard about it.  It was nice, not thinking.  In that moment she was incredibly grateful for Sylvain.  He made sure to pick a song she knew and couldn’t help but smile as she moved with the beat, occasionally feeling his warm body next to hers.  </p><p>When the song ended, Hilda appeared next to them.  She gave Byleth a new drink and Sylvain a kiss on the cheek.  The three of them stood off to the side for a song, before Leonie played another song Byleth knew and both Hilda and Sylvain pulled her back onto the dance floor.  Byleth laughed as Hilda improvised the dance, adding more exotic hip movements to draw the attention of unknowing men.  </p><p>The song changed again and this time Byleth found herself wrapped up in Sylvain.  Their legs between each others, one of his hands on her hip and other around her waist.  Byleth wrapped an arm around his neck and placed her free hand on his chest.  The memory of her and Sylvain dancing like this several times before crashed into her.  He had taught her to get down and grind when it came to dancing, since she had been too nervous about it previously.  Sylvain had taught her a lot of things… Despite still feeling a bit uncertain about the status of their relationship, Byleth let herself sink into him.  It was oddly comforting to be wrapped up in someone like this, if not a bit of a turn on.  Byleth shut her mind off and let herself be consumed by the hypnotic music and the movement of her partner’s warm body.  She was deep in her own world of color, music and heat that she didn’t immediately notice Sylvain’s lips brushing against the side of her neck.  Byleth shivered when he did it again.</p><p>“I was serious earlier By. I believe repeating previous physical interludes does wonders for the mind. I’d be happy to repeat some of ours with you.”  His lips pressed down on her neck and she had to hold back a moan. “I really do think it will help.”  He kissed her neck again then backed off a bit.  </p><p>Byleth almost said something, although she wasn’t sure what it was going to be.  Thankfully they were interrupted. </p><p>“Mind if I cut in?” the pleasant voice of the Golden Deer leader asked.  Sylvain glanced at Byleth who nodded.</p><p>“Go right ahead. Besides I feel the heated stare of an angry swordsman. I should go calm the beast before he starts using his sword for something that isn’t a party trick.”  </p><p>Claude chuckled, then guided Byleth to wrap up in him like Sylvain had.  For some reason Byleth thought she’d get a moment to breathe by switching partners, but Claude and her fit together even better then her and Sylvain. Several sensitive spots were being pressed against the gang leader as they moved, sending more heat through her body.  Claude’s amazing scent washed over her and she had to force her mind to focus on something that wasn’t the golden god wrapped up in her.</p><p>“Why is Felix angry?”</p><p>Amusement danced across his beautiful green eyes.  “Felix is always angry.”</p><p>“Really? Is that new? I remember him being...standoffish and cold but not usually angry.”  A small bit of panic pushed through her body. “Is it because of me?”</p><p>Claude let a hand shift to her ass, where he grabbed a handful making her squeal.  “Focus on this, not all your worries. I suggested dancing tonight because I think it will help you. Felix isn’t mad at you. Don’t worry about him.”  Claude’s other hand moved under her chin, pulling it up slightly so he’d have all of her attention.  “Be here with me, in this moment. Focus only on me.” </p><p>A memory slammed into Byleth.  Claude had spoken these words to her before…  She was bleeding...in a lot of pain.  She had taken a fire attack to protect...Marianne.  Claude was holding her hand and gently stroking her face, trying to get her to focus on him and not the insane amount of pain she was in, while Mercedes and Linhardt did their best to heal her.  It took...hours and Claude was next to her the whole time.  </p><p>Claude stopped moving, his hands cupped her face, his thumbs wiping along her cheeks.  “Beautiful, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”</p><p>Byleth couldn’t find the words to answer him, as the memory tried to keep her in the past.  Claude helped her off the dance floor and away from the crowd.  He waited for her to speak. When the memory finally let the present take hold, Byleth practically leapt into Claude’s arms.</p><p>“Thank you” she said, kissing his cheek.  When she pulled back she noticed he looked confused.  “I’m sorry! It’s just, I remembered something.”</p><p>“Oh? Care to share?”</p><p>“It was you staying with me, trying to distract me while they healed the burn injury from when I protected Marianne.”</p><p>Claude’s eyes went wide, an odd desperation was now in his voice.  “Do you remember anything else about that?”  Byleth shook her head, his face immediately went downcast.  </p><p>“I’m sorry but you...stayed. You helped me. That couldn’t have been easy. I...I don’t remember anyone ever doing anything like that for me except my father.”  She just realized that wasn’t exactly true.  Just last night Felix had held her until she fell asleep, but she didn’t want to mention that and ruin the gratitude she was trying to convey.  </p><p>Claude smiled and pulled her into a hug.  “I’m glad you remember something a bit more recent.  I apologize if I seem saddened by your memory it’s just… a lot more happened that night that I really wished you’d remember.”  He kissed her forehead.  “Let’s go back up stairs.  I think more of your friends have arrived.”</p><p>Byleth smiled and nodded then linked her hand with Claude’s.  His face took on a soft expression that made her heart speed up.  </p><p>The moment they reached Claude’s suite, Byleth was crushed in a bear hug.  </p><p>“Byleth! I’m so glad you’re back!” Raphael exclaimed happily.  </p><p>Byleth tapped his shoulders so he’d let her go.  “It’s good to see you Raphael.”  She caught his happy smile before a much smaller pair of arms hugged her.</p><p>“Oh Byleth! This is wonderful. We were all so worried we’d never get you back!” Annette said.  </p><p>Before she could respond, Ashe was hugging her against his surprisingly broad chest.  Apparently three years had done some impressive things to his body.  He gave her a wonderful smile.  “Byleth how are you doing? Linhardt explained everything to us. Are you alright?” He asked in that sweet concerned voice of his.  </p><p>Byleth brushed some of the silvery strands out of his eyes, revealing the light green of his pupils.  Ashe was honestly one of her favorite people.  He was so genuine and carrying, of course the first thing he would say is a question of her health.  “Don’t worry Ashe. I’ll be alright if Linhardt is to be believed, but I don’t know if my memories will return.”</p><p>“Don’t say that. You just had one return to you.” Claude said.</p><p>Annette made a little delightful squeal.  “That’s amazing! You are already showing progress!”  The small woman gripped Byleth’s hands.  “I’ll try to help Linhardt out! Maybe we can figure out a way to get your memories back faster.”</p><p>“Thank you Annette. I’d appreciate that.”</p><p>“You’re not the only one who would!” </p><p>Byleth wasn’t sure what the small woman meant by that but she did not pry.  Suddenly Byleth felt very aware of the many pairs of eyes on her.  Not only were the three newcomers up here but so was Hilda, Linhardt and Sylvain.  All the attention was a bit much, it felt...suffocating.</p><p>“I’ll be right back. I’m going to grab another drink” she said, feeling the need to escape. </p><p>“Want company?” Claude asked.</p><p>“No, thank you” she said quickly, darting away before he rested a hand on her shoulder.  </p><p>Byleth moved down the stairs and back to the bar.  Flayn gave her a little wave in acknowledgement.  Byleth took a deep breath and looked down at the floor.</p><p>“What’s wrong?” a concerned voice said next to her.</p><p>Byleth glanced to her left and saw Felix.  His eyes were a bit hazy from drink, but she noticed the worry in them.  Did her stress look that obvious? </p><p>“It’s just...I’m not used to a lot of attention. Claude’s suite is filled with people I want to see, I just...I don’t like them all looking at me at the same time.”  Byleth was surprised when Felix chuckled next to her.  It was a pleasant sound that she’d only heard a few times before.</p><p>“You’ll get used to it. At least you did before.”</p><p>Byleth sighed.  “Really? I don’t want that to be true at all. Is it ungrateful to say that I wish I was back to being a mercenary? I know that I care for all these people but my life was much simpler before.”</p><p>Felix chuckled again.  “You have no idea how many times you’ve said that to me.”</p><p>“Oh?” Byleth said surprised.  “Honestly I’m shocked I just admitted that to you now, but to hear I’ve done it countless times…”  Byleth smiled at him.  “I must have really trusted you then.”  </p><p>“You did.”</p><p>Flayn placed her drink on the bar then hurried off to help someone else.  Byleth took a sip then shifted closer to Felix, her hip brushing against his leg that was pointing towards her as he sat on the bar stool.  He moved slightly, allowing her to fit into his space.  Byleth smiled again.  “I know I shouldn’t ask but...I don’t think this question is against the rules.”  Felix was watching her intently, it made her blush a bit.  “I always thought you and I were kindred spirits, so focused on constantly improving ourselves, our swords. Dedicated to whatever task was in front of us 100%. I had never met someone so similar to me before you…You said we were friends and I feel this need to trust you. How...how close were we?”</p><p>Felix’s eyes examined her face.  He wanted to reach out and touch her, but no matter how drunk he was, he was determined to be respectful, not like Claude and Sylvain.  Felix was surprised at how forward Sylvain was being with Byleth.  He knew they had a physical relationship at this point in Byleth’s memories, but…the way the red head was acting was infuriating and a bit out of character.  When Byleth was captured a lot happened to Sylvain... </p><p>Felix bit his lip, uncertain how to answer this question.  As his mind attempted to push out the alcohol and give her an answer that wasn’t too revealing, Byleth reached out and pulled his long hair out of the tie.  He felt her nails move gently along his scalp as she combed her hand through it.  </p><p>“I’m sorry. Was that question too difficult? Oh!” she said, suddenly surprised, stopping her movements.  “I’m doing it again, just touching you without asking. It’s just your hair was a bit messy from that wonderful performance earlier. I couldn’t stop myself.”</p><p>“It’s ok. You can...continue.” Byleth smiled and ran her fingers through his hair again.  Felix had to hold back a shiver.  It felt so good.  “To answer your question…I don’t trust people easily. There might be three people I trust on the battlefield to fight along side of me, to watch my back without asking, to wordlessly know what I’m about to do. Personally, I trust two people with other things such as deeper thoughts and feelings. There is one person I trust with both.”  Felix took a sip of his drink, giving Byleth a moment to do the same to hers.  He let out a deep sigh and pulled her hand from his hair, holding it gently.  “You’ve always been someone I trusted on the battlefield, Byleth. If I had to pick one person to always fight next to, you would be it.”</p><p>Byleth smiled.  “Do I fall into the other trust categories? Or is that something I have yet to earn?”</p><p>Felix sighed again and lightly ran his thumb across the top of her hand.  “I…” </p><p>His sentence was interrupted when an arm wrapped around Byleth’s waist, and her attention was pulled away from him.  He noticed Byleth’s body become rigid and he forced himself to stand to see who was touching her.  </p><p>“Hello lovely. So glad to see you here.”</p><p>Felix immediately drew his sword and held the tip against the man’s neck.  The man chuckled, pure amusement in his lavender eyes.  </p><p>“Of course you’re here Fraldarius, although I’m not sure I understand the cold greeting from you both. Is this really how you thank me for helping Byleth escape the Eagles?” The leader of the Ashen Wolves said.</p><p>“What?!” Felix and Byleth said in unison.  </p><p>Yuri cocked an eyebrow.  “How could you not remember? My dear Byleth I was almost killed for that little stunt.”</p><p>“You rescued her?” Felix asked.  Yuri nodded.  </p><p>“I’m sorry I don’t remember. I’m missing three years of memories since Linhardt undid the brain washing” Byleth said.  </p><p>Yuri cursed.  Then pushed Felix’s blade away.  He was about to say something but another blade replaced the savant’s.  Felix noticed Ignatz behind Yuri now.</p><p>“Move and you die” the assassin said. </p><p>Yuri chuckled.  “About time you noticed me. Not great as the head of security for the Deer are you?”</p><p>“I knew where you were several blocks before you entered this building.”  Ignatz said.  “Claude just wanted to see what you were doing here. Now that we know, he’d like to speak with you.”  </p><p>Yuri looked up at the suite.  Claude and the rest were watching them, several with weapons or magic spells gathering in their hands.  Yuri chuckled.</p><p>“Well that’s convenient because I’d like to talk to him too.”</p><p>Ignatz guided Yuri up the stairs, giving Byleth a moment to catch her breath. </p><p>“I don’t understand. I thought the Wolves were allied with the Eagles. Why would Yuri free me?”  Byleth asked.</p><p>“I have no idea” Felix said.  “Are you ok? I’m sorry I did not notice him earlier, fucking alcohol. But I guess Ignatz had everything under control.”</p><p>“Ignatz is really the head of Claude’s security?” Byleth asked, surprised.  She remembered how shy and non-threatening he used to be.  Typically Claude used him for stealth missions with minimal chance of combat.  </p><p>Felix smirked.  “Yeah he is actually very good at his job. Probably better than my father. But that’s because Ignatz is able to keep his emotions in check when it comes to Claude. My father just can’t seem to do that with Dimitri…”</p><p>Byleth watched the emotions swirl behind Felix’s eyes.  “I’m sorry Felix. I’d love to continue our conversation but we should probably get up there.”  He nodded and they both went up to the suite.  </p><p>When they reached the top of the stairs, Raphael motioned them into a small room connected to the suite.  Claude was sitting across for Yuri.  His green eyes found Byleth and he motioned her to sit next to him. </p><p>“So are you running to me with your tail between your legs or is my information incorrect that Edelgard disbanded the Wolves and crushed everything you built?” Claude asked.</p><p>Yuri grimaced for a moment, before his normal cocky expression returned.  “That woman could never know the depths of my empire. The Wolves are not destroyed just...hibernating.”</p><p>Amusement flickered in Claude’s eyes.  He looked like a predator ready to pounce on his weakened prey.  “So why has Edelgard abandoned you and stolen a portion of your empire?”</p><p>Yuri grinned and leaned forward placing his chin between his hands.  “Because I freed her best weapon.”  His eyes flickered over to Byleth.  “I was hoping she could vouch for me but apparently Byleth has lost her memory.”</p><p>Claude leaned back in his chair and crossed his legs.  “Why would you free Byleth and then act surprised when Edelgard ruined you.”</p><p>Yuri chuckled.  “I’m not surprised. It’s just that the key piece of my plan lost her memory. Byleth was supposed to help me secure everything before Edelgard ripped it from my fingers.”  Yuri’s lavender eyes fixed on Byleth.  “I held up my end of the deal but you did not keep yours. I believe you own me, friend.”</p><p>“I...I don’t know what I was supposed to do for you. I don’t remember any of this.”  Byleth felt panic grip her.  Could she trust what Yuri said.  Did he free her?  Did she owe him.  “I…”</p><p>Byleth was cut off as Claude held up a hand.  “Maybe I can help you while our dear friend tries to get her memories back.”  </p><p>Yuri grinned.  “Since when are you so magnanimous Claude?”  Yuri’s eyes flicked to Byleth again.  </p><p>“Since you’re no longer aligned with the Eagles. If Edelgard was smart she wouldn’t have trusted you with any of her secrets but there has to be things you know that we do not.”</p><p>It was Yuri’s turn to lean back and cross his legs.  “That depends on what you know and whether or not you choose to trust me. I understand that will be difficult. Having Byleth three years into the past is most unfortunate for me, although…”  His eyes slowly scanned her body then flicked to somewhere past her.  “Does this mean she is single now? I’ve always wanted a taste.”  He licked his lips and winked.  </p><p>Byleth noticed a small commotion erupt next to her although she didn’t want to pull her eyes from Yuri to see what it was. She did however notice Claude clench his jaw.</p><p>“Now isn’t the time to try and claim someone who can’t remember what happened a week ago you snake” Claude said coldly.  </p><p>“Again I wonder why the leader of the Golden Deer is the one I’m dealing with right now.  I expected to find Byleth at Dimitri’s” Yuri observed. </p><p>“Do you want me to call the Lion prince here? I doubt he will be as hospitable as I am.”<br/>Yuri’s eyes darkened for a moment, almost inperceptive.  “Prove you freed Byleth and I will work with you on her behalf.”</p><p>Yuri sighed then flicked his hand in the air like Claude was some annoying bug.  “For now you can ask him” Yuri said, pointing at Linhardt.  The sleepy mage did not look surprised that he was being called into this discussion.  Instead he appeared bored.  “Tell them what you found at the base of her neck.”</p><p>Linhardt sighed.  “It was a power mark. When a strong mage breaks another mage’s spell it leaves a trace. Someone had made the first steps to unwinding Hubert’s intricate curse. It is the only explanation to how Byleth was able to get to us in her rough state.”</p><p>Claude shifted forward, obvious anger in his eyes.  Apparently Linhardt failed to tell him this piece.  “How does this prove it was you?” he said to Yuri.</p><p>Yuri looked back to Linhardt.  The mage sighed again.  “Every break mark is unique to it’s caster.  If the mage has a crest that is the mark it leaves behind.”  Linhardt stopped his explanation and looked at Claude.  “The mark was the Crest of Aubin, the rare crest that only one person is known to possess.”  </p><p>Yuri flicked his wrist, a crest coming to life in the air.  “I am the only person who has the Crest of Aubin.”</p><p>“Despite this it does not prove Yuri’s story completely.” Linhardt cut in. “All it proves is that he started the process of trying to free Byleth. The mark was not new. It had been duplicated several times as if you tried multiple times to either break Byleth’s curse or add one of your own” </p><p>Yuri smiled.  “That is true. I broke Hubert’s curse several times so I could speak with Byleth in...the right mind.  We had been planning her escape for a while now.”  Yuri sighed.  “I am a fan of underhanded magic but what Hubert did…when I learned the full extent of it all…I was already growing tired of the Eagles and their warmongering. They win on lies and false promises, get people to their side by using their greatest hopes and weaknesses against them.  Most of the Eagles follow Edelgard on fear and empty promises of ending the war. I’ll be honest I was ok with that for many years, but after they captured Byleth…and I learned everything...I began preparations to free her. I started setting the Wolves up in a way that they could survive Edelgard’s wrath. And now I am before you, trying to fix what I started with the Eagles.”</p><p>“That’s quite the tale. Tell me wolf, why do you care about what they did to Byleth?” Claude asked.  </p><p>Yuri’s smile turned wolfish, probably meant to match Claude’s comment.  “Because I want to claim her as my own.”  </p><p>Another commotion broke out but stopped when Byleth said, “That’s a lie. You have no interest in me.” She might not be able to read Yuri very well but she could tell at least that much. </p><p>Yuri chuckled.  “That’s not entirely true, lovely. I’d love to have you on my side, use your power for my own desires. Getting you into my bed sounds like a good time too.”  His eyes moved across the other figures in the room, obviously gaining some satisfaction from his words.  “Mostly I’m like you, I have my own dreams” he said to Claude. “And like you I find Byleth to be a key piece in achieving my goals.”  </p><p>“Byleth is not a tool” Claude said coldly. </p><p>Yuri’s eyes lit up with amusement.  “I wonder who told you that.”  Yuri stood up.  “Apparently I’ve interrupted a little party. Hopefully the next time you have one you’ll be so kind to invite me.”  Yuri bowed to Byleth in an exaggerated flourish.  “I’ll return in two days when I’m sure your spies will confirm my story.”  He moved toward the stairs and Ignatz followed him out.  </p><p>A few moments later, Claude erupted into a snarl.  “Lin why didn’t you mention the mark?”</p><p>Linhardt waved his hand in the air.  “I was a bit too busy trying to keep Byleth’s mind her own.  Truthfully, it slipped my mind.”</p><p>Claude stood up and moved toward the mage.  He reached out a hand and laced it into Linhardt’s shirt, pulling him close so that he could see the rage in Claude’s eyes.  “That is not an acceptable excuse.”</p><p>Claude froze in his speech as the small hands of Byleth grabbed his arm.  “Please Claude. If you want to be mad at someone, be mad at me.”</p><p>Claude let Linhardt go and turned to face Byleth, confused by her plea.  “By, you’re not the one who kept something from me.”</p><p>“I know but this…but what Yuri said…Linhardt had no way of knowing that might be the reason I was able to escape. Please let’s just see if we can prove Yuri’s story.”</p><p>Claude sighed and placed a kiss on Byleth’s hand.  “You always know how to calm my anger Byleth.”</p><p>Byleth frowned.  “I’m sorry...I’m so sorry Claude.” </p><p>Guilt stung Byleth.  Guilt for the trouble she was causing everyone, guilt for not being able to help Yuri out if any of his story was true, guilt for not being able to remember anything.  She pulled her fingers out of Claude’s gasp and walked out of the room.  She was done for tonight.  She couldn’t handle this anymore.   </p><p>Byleth got back to the hallway of rooms above Claude’s club and realized she had nowhere to sleep.  She didn’t have a room yet.  Byleth let her back fall against the wall.  She felt so lost.  Again she was back to feeling like she could not trust anyone.  Despite the wonderful memory she just had of Claude and the sweet conversation with Felix, other things had happened that made her think she couldn’t trust them.  Yuri’s comment about Claude using her...And Sylvain letting it slip that Felix was responsible for her kidnapping.  Then Linhardt kept that valuable piece of information from everyone about Yuri breaking Hubert’s spell.  Who could she trust?  What should she do?</p><p>Byleth’s breathing picked up as tears fell down her cheek.  She let her knees give out and lower her body to the ground.  </p><p>“Breathe just breathe” she said to herself.  </p><p>The door opened and someone leaned down in front of her.  She didn’t have the energy to see who it was, too focused on trying to calm the panic attack that was threatening her.</p><p>“Byleth…” Felix’s voice said.  </p><p>It sounded like he wanted to ask her if she was ok but already knew the answer.  </p><p>“What do you need?” he asked instead.  </p><p>“I...I don’t know. I just want to be alone but I have no place to do that.”  Byleth looked up at him, a thought occurring to her.  “Where have you been sleeping? You don’t live here correct?”</p><p>Felix frowned. “I haven't really slept much these last few days. Just when I know you’re safe.”  </p><p>“What? Why?” Byleth watched his face flush in the dim hallway light. It had to be a trick of the light…</p><p>“I…”</p><p>“Oh” Byleth said, realizing the answer.  “You’re here because Dimitri put you on me. He wants eyes on me...Of course that’s the reason.”  Byleth forced herself to stand up.  She needed to stop pretending that she was important to everyone.  Most of them were probably only acquaintances, co-workers.  “Leave me alone Felix. I don’t need a bodyguard who reports to Dimitri.” She turned to walk away but Felix grabbed her shoulders.  </p><p>“Byleth that’s not why I’m here.”</p><p>“Dimitri didn’t want someone on me? He said before I was kidnapped I was his and that he was struggling to trust me now.”</p><p>Felix growled.  “He does want someone with you but I wanted it to be me. I insisted.”</p><p>“Why? Is it because you feel guilty?”  Felix’s eyes widened.  “I heard you were responsible for my kidnapping.”</p><p>Felix’s mouth opened to speak then closed with a click.  Byleth watched him for a bit, trying to read him.  He looked conflicted.   </p><p>“So it’s true…” she said trying to back away from him.</p><p>“Byleth...what you need to understand is I never meant for you to be kidnapped. It’s not like I handed you over to the Eagles. If that were true Dimitri would have killed me.”</p><p>“So what is it. What happened?”</p><p>Felix sighed and ran his fingers through his long hair.  “I can’t tell you.”</p><p>“It’s my memory Felix! I deserve to know!”</p><p>“I know you do! You have no idea how much I want to tell you but the mage is right. I can see how hard you’re struggling to trust people.”  Felix groaned.  “Byleth, you really need to remember this. Nothing I say will convey to you how important the task we were doing was.”</p><p>Byleth was a bit surprised by the pain in his voice.  “Was it a task for the Lions?”  She had no idea why she asked that question but if Dimitri was mad at Felix, then there was something odd about this task.  Felix just stared at her.  “Why is Dimitri angry with you?”</p><p>Felix growled again.  “He was angry because it was something you and I decided we needed to do. Dimitri had no idea what our plan was. We failed and it costs us you...that is why he is angry with me.”</p><p>Byleth bit her bottom lip trying to digest this information.  Felix was never one to lie.  She so deeply wanted to trust him but after everything that happened today...  “You and I decided to do something without letting the other Lions know?”  Felix nodded.  “Why?”</p><p>Felix sighed again.  He looked rather defeated.  Byleth felt guilty, again. </p><p>“I’m sorry Felix. I respect that you’re trying not to manipulate me. This is just so unbelievably difficult for me. I’m so lost and confused.”  She gripped her hands together.  “I just want to scream.”</p><p>“Now don’t do that” a warm voice said behind her. “Screaming in gang owned clubs tends to start a mass panic.” </p><p>Byleth turned to see Sylvain, smiling at her. </p><p>“Baby girl you look like you need to get away.”  He extended a hand to her.  “Why don’t you come home with me?”</p><p>Byleth stared at Sylvain, looking for some ulterior motive on his face.  She was surprised to only see warmth and understanding. </p><p>“Sylvain!” Felix growled.</p><p>“Oh come on Fe. I promise I’ll be a perfect gentleman. Unless of course Byleth wants a repeat of our past.”  Sylvain winked.  Felix growled again.  “If you’re worried about her protection you know that House Gautier is one of the most protected buildings in all of Fodlan.”</p><p>“That’s not what I’m worried about.” Felix said.</p><p>“Then come along. You could clearly use a good night sleep too.”  </p><p>“Will I have privacy? I just really want to be alone” Byleth asked. </p><p>“Of course lovely. I’ll sneak you in so only my head of security knows you’re there. No one will bother you. You can stay in the room connected to mine. It’s usually Felix’s but he can share my bed.”</p><p>Byleth observed Sylvain’s face again.  He seemed genuine in his motives.  So far he had done nothing to spark mistrust in her, unlike everyone else.  And the last thing she remembered about him was that they were good friends.  Byleth placed her hand in Sylvain’s.  It was so warm and comforting.  “Please I would be grateful to stay with you.”</p><p>Sylvain smiled.  “Felix, can you tell Claude? Byleth looks ready to end this evening and I’d hate to delay it anymore.”</p><p>Felix narrowed his eyes but went back to the door of the club.</p><p>“Come along baby girl. Let Sylvain take care of you.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry it took so long to post but hopefully this massive chapter makes up for it!</p><p>I know most people mention what the endgame couple pairing is in their stories but I'm trying to keep the possibilities open as I go through the story.  I mean I know who it is, but I think as a reader not knowing is some of the fun.  I also know as the reader it can be disappointing if you are rooting for a specific pairing, and invested a bunch of time in a story that did not go the way you wanted.  Let me know how you guys feel about this.  If there is a huge demand to call out the endgame pairing I might do so on the tags.  Don't want to push readers away!</p><p>Thank you for reading!</p><p>Next chapter things might get a bit more heated. I might need to change my ratings depending how my mind decides to play out certain events. :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Struggling to Recognize Yourself</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Byleth continues to question her own actions and emotions as she keeps reacting in ways she does not understand.  The four men in her life that make her heart pound are doing their best to confuse her with odd memories and unexplainable emotions.  </p><p> </p><p>I had to change my rating for this chapter :)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Again Byleth was cursed with odd dreams.  The flash of a blade, fresh blood, the feeling of leather.  Then hot skin and searing kisses, followed by unbelievable pain.  So much pain.  It was so damn much.  </p><p>Byleth cried out.  She ripped the blankets off of her fiery skin, trying to cool down.  Tears ran down her face as she gripped her stomach.  The pain was still there...why was it still there?  She heard voices, but couldn’t see who it was in the dark room.  A small table light flicked on and Byleth felt Felix’s rough hands on her shoulders.</p><p>“Byleth what’s wrong? Are you in pain?” he asked, worried. </p><p>Byleth’s breathing was heavy, the pain was finally beginning to subside.  Her eyes locked with the beautiful vermilion ones in front of her and a new pain took its place.  This one was different...her heart.  She clutched at her chest, hoping like it would somehow help.  She could smell his wonderful scent of sandalwood and leather.  It was making things worse.  She pushed Felix roughly away from her.  His eyes went wide, confused. </p><p>“Making...it...worse” she breathed out, trying to wipe off the odd pained look on his face.  It didn’t work.  But being away from him was… Slowly the pain was dimming and her breathing regulated.  Felix shifted slightly towards her but she held up her hand.  “Please...I’ll be ok.”</p><p>Felix looked like she had slapped him.  He got up and left the room.  Byleth almost called after him but she knew it was better this way.  </p><p>“Baby girl, do you need anything?” Sylvain’s voice said softly next to her.  </p><p>Byleth glanced at him.  He was shirtless, only wearing a pair of soft looking sweatpants, his hair somewhat disheveled.  She remembered seeing him this way several times after they had sex.  There was something familiar and nice about it.  Byleth hesitantly reached out and touched his arm, letting her fingers take in his warmth.  </p><p>“Could you stay? I’d ask Felix but I know he hates doing this kind of thing, plus he did it for me last night.  Also when he touched me earlier...the pain got worse…”</p><p>Sylvain watched her for a moment.  He looked to be trying to figure something out in his head.  Sylvain shifted and crawled a bit closer to her on the bed.  He reached out a hand and stroked her cheek.  </p><p>“Does this hurt you?” he asked quietly.</p><p>“No. I think I’m ok now.”</p><p>“Good” he said with a soft smile.  “That means I can hold you.”</p><p>Byleth felt heat return to her cheeks at his gentle words and what they meant.  </p><p>Sylvain reached behind him and turned the light off.  He then pulled the covers back over them and opened up his arms.  Byleth automatically went into them.  She lay her head on his chest and let a hand rest next to her.  Sylvain kissed her forehead and pulled her tight against him.</p><p>“Sleep baby girl. I’ll try to keep your demons away.”</p><p>Byleth mumbled her thanks and fell back to sleep. </p><p>This time her dreams were filled with Sylvain.  This was the first dream she had where she could identify who was with her.  He was all warm smiles, deep laughs, and hot sex.  The more her dreams continued the more Byleth was convinced they were actually memories.  </p><p> </p><p>In the morning, Byleth slowly woke to the sound of whispered voices.  She realized she was alone, but soon the voices stopped and a warm body was pressed against her again.  Byleth snuggled into her large man pillow, trying to fall back asleep.  The more she tried to sleep, the more she focused on the feeling of his skin under her fingertips and the way his chest rose and fell with each breath. Her mind was trying to wake up and remind her of the terrible situation she was in.  She really didn’t want that.  She needed to have a moment awake where she wasn’t a confused, sobbing mess. </p><p>Byleth felt a large hand moving slowly along her back.  Somewhere along the lines, Sylvain had slipped it under her shirt.  It felt nice...so very nice.  Byleth started to move her own fingers, touching the smooth muscled chest.  She could smell Sylvain’s scent of oak and something sweet...maybe caramel?  She nuzzled her nose into his neck to investigate further.  Sylvain shifted a bit to his side so she could succeed.  He pulled one of her legs between his and did the same to her.  She could feel a muscled thigh press against her core, as one of his hands held onto her hip.  Byleth let out a sigh, enjoying this new position.  </p><p>They stayed like that for a while until Sylvain started to shift his hips a bit, pulling hers with him.  The light movement was enough to get Byleth to let out a little moan as his thigh rubbed against her sex.  If she was a bit more awake she might have stopped him, but Sylvain was doing a good job of pushing out the reality of her life beyond this room.  Byleth let her hand travel further along his chest.  She could feel his hard length against her leg.  </p><p>Sylvain’s other hand, gently pulled her chin up.  She opened her eyes and fell into his warm brown pupils.  They were so heated.  She let him guide her lips to his and she sunk into a string of amazing kisses.  His mouth was so delicious, just like she remembered.  They kept kissing, kept moving their legs against each other.  Sylvain undid the buttons of his shirt that Byleth was wearing.  His hand grabbed her left breast and began massaging the tender flesh.  Byleth let out a moan, realizing she wanted more from him.</p><p>“Byleth…” he said huskily.  “Let me take care of you. Let me help you remember something amazing.”  </p><p>Byleth couldn’t handle all this heat.  She nodded her head and he immediately started attacking her throat with open mouthed kisses.  The hand on her breast slipped down and around her underwear, pushing two fingers into the wet mess of her folds.  Byleth moaned loudly.  Holy Goddess, did this feel amazing.  Sylvain’s long fingers pushed in and out of her core, the palm of his hand rubbed against her clit.  His mouth trailed down to one of her breasts.  He licked her nipple a few times before sucking it in his mouth.  Byleth laced her fingers in his hair, the other hand holding onto his back, feeling his muscles shift under her.  Damn, he was about to make her climax already.  Byleth whimpered out his name as her orgasm rocked through her.  </p><p>“Wow” Byleth whispered as she came down.  Sylvain grinned along her flesh then moved his head between her legs so he could lick her slick.  Byleth whimpered at how sensitive she was, grateful that he didn’t taste her for long.  </p><p>Sylvain pulled his pants off then slid his cock along her wet core.  He teased her a bit, knowing she was still sensitive.  Byleth shivered trying to hold back from begging him to fuck her.  He positioned one of her legs to rest over his shoulder, then leaned down, his cock about to push inside of her.  </p><p>“Do you want more baby girl?” he whispered in her ear.  </p><p>Byleth bit her lip.  He knew the answer but he wanted to hear her say it.  </p><p>“Byleth, do you want me to fuck you into extreme bliss?” </p><p>Byleth moaned as he pushed every so slightly into her.  “Yes Sylvain. Please” she begged.</p><p>Sylvain grinned and pushed inside of her.  Byleth gasped and he cursed.</p><p>“Holy fuck Byleth.”  He thrust again.  “You’re so damn tight. It’s like having your first time...all over again.”</p><p>Sylvain was right.  She was unbelievably tight.  It actually hurt a bit, but honestly she was grateful.  She had been wondering in the back of her mind if the Eagles were also using her for...sexual release.  This seemed to confirm that they hadn’t...at least not for awhile anyway.  Byleth pushed the thought from her mind and tried to focus on the incredibly attractive man above her.     </p><p>Sylvain stopped and stroked her cheek.  “Are you ok? I didn’t realize I could hurt you when I suggested this.”</p><p>Byleth smiled.  Sylvain was being oddly sweet to her.  He was gentle when he took her first time too, but she wouldn’t call it sweet.  He had been rather eager to fuck her then.   </p><p>An odd memory flashed in her mind.  It was of her with...someone else...They asked her if she was ok after the first thrust of their love making.  Her heart felt warm and tight at the memory.  It was clearly someone she had loved.  </p><p>“By?” Sylvain asked, breaking the memory.</p><p>“Oh sorry. I just remembered something…”</p><p>Sylvain grinned then thrusted again.  “So maybe my theory is correct.”  Another deep thrust.  “Maybe I can fuck your memories back.”</p><p>Byleth wanted to laugh at that way he said that, but this just felt so damn good.  Holding her leg up, allowed him to push really deep inside of her.  He placed a hand behind her shoulder to push her chest up so he could latch onto one of her nipples.  Sylvain fucked her faster.  Goddess, this felt so damn amazing.  His cock was so hard inside of her, ready to explode with her.  His moans were low and breathy.  They drove her crazy.  Byleth’s orgasm crashed into her in a hot wave of white.  It was so intense she thought she might pass out.  Sylvain kept going for another minute until he pulled out and painted her stomach with his release.  </p><p>He moved away from her to grab a small towel that was in the nightstand.  Sylvain cleaned her off, threw the towel on the floor then pulled her back to him.  Their lips locked together again and Byleth smiled.</p><p>“Thank you” she said when he gave her a second to breathe.  “I really needed that.”</p><p>Sylvain grinned.  “Anytime baby girl.”  His mouth found her neck again.  “I can give you more now if you want.”  </p><p>Byleth sighed.  She was a bit surprised about how much she was ready to go again.  “What about Felix? Isn’t he in the next room?”</p><p>Sylvain chuckled.  “If he was it would be a bit too late to consider him. Dimitri summoned him.”  Sylvain pressed two fingers against her clit, getting her to shiver.  “He won’t be back for awhile yet.”  He began to rub a circle against her sensitive spot.  “Why not let me help you remember more in the meantime” he purred.</p><p>Wow.  Just what was this man doing to her?  Byleth shifted to capture his mouth again.  He took that as her answer and pulled her hips to his.  </p><p>Half an hour later, Byleth and Sylvain sat at the small table in his bedroom.  Byleth had been thoroughly fucked, and for the moment felt pretty elated.  Sylvain made her coffee that tasted amazing, and an egg sandwich.  She drank and chewed happily, holding on to her bliss as long as she could.  </p><p>When she finished, Sylvain showed her his shower, then proceeded to join her, fucking her into oblivion again under the hot water.  Byleth was very impressed with his stamina.  She remembered them fucking before but not like this.  It was passionate, yes, and maybe they went more than one round but they never slept at each other’s place, never cooked for one another, never made out so much.  </p><p>Byleth got out of the shower and dried herself off.  Her eyes stayed on Sylvain, watching the way his muscles shifted as he moved.  Sylvain caught her staring and grinned.  He looked like he was about to say something when they heard his door open.  Panic settled in his eyes as he grabbed his sweatpants and hurried out of the bathroom to greet his guest.  </p><p>Byleth heard Felix’s raised voice and sighed.  Her little moment of bliss must have been over.  Sylvain knocked on the door.</p><p>“Baby girl, when you’re ready Dimitri wants to speak with you.”</p><p>Byleth sighed.  Yep, back to reality. </p><p>--</p><p>Byleth walked into Dimitri’s small courtyard that resided next to his office.  The Lion prince was standing off to the side under a small white flowering tree, speaking with Rodrigue, Felix’s father.  The security chief looked at Byleth and gave her a surprising soft smile.  Dimitri noticed the chief’s expression change and glanced at Byleth.  She must have made quite the appearance in one of Sylvain’s white button down shirts and Felix’s training leggings that actually fit her.  They were able to dig out a pair of  women’s boots from the armory closet before going up to meet Dimitri.  Before that Sylvain gave her a piggyback ride until they got to their destination so she wasn’t forced to put the pink heels back on.  She had requested to go back to Claude’s first to get some clothes but they insisted the sooner speaking with Dimitri the better.  </p><p>Rodrigue walked over to them and captured Byleth’s hand, giving it a gentle kiss.  “Byleth, it is a joy to see you again my dear.  Although I wish it was with more of your memories intact. I dare say there are many here that are eager for you to remember.”</p><p>“Rodrigue, thank you for the kind welcome but I must admit I am surprised. I imagine as the head of security for the Lions I caused you a lot of problems this last year.”</p><p>Rodrigue kept the pleasant smile on his lips.  “That would be an understatement. But I’ve been appraised of what happened to you and the state of your mind. I’m hoping to have you back as one of my lead fighters soon. My poor son has missed fighting alongside of you, among other things.”  Felix scoffed but didn’t say anything.  “I know myself and Dimitri also missed your wisdom and wonderful company.”</p><p>Byleth tried to dive into her mind to conjure up memories of Rodrigue.  He was typically honest, forthcoming and devoted to Dimitri.  His relationship with Felix was strained because of the death of Felix’s brother.  She didn’t remember having too many conversations with him prior but the way he was looking at her...he seemed...genuinely happy to see her.  She wondered if she was reading that right. </p><p>“Felix, Sylvain let’s leave these two alone to chat” Rodrigue said, motioning them back the way they came. </p><p>Felix looked like he was about to protest but decided against it.  Byleth watched them leave then turned her attention to the stunning blonde man.  Dimitri was observing her with an unreadable expression.  It wasn’t until she fidgeted awkwardly under his gaze that he stopped.</p><p>“My apologies Byleth. I was deep in thought.” He gestured to a small table with some tea cups and sweets sitting on it.  “I was hoping we could have some tea if you’d be so kind to join me.”</p><p>Byleth knew this was more than some simple invitation to tea but she really wanted to speak with Dimitri.  If she wanted to regain herself, her former life, it was important for her to make amends with the Lion leader.  </p><p>Byleth gave him a gentle smile.  “I’d love to. Thank you.”</p><p>Dimitri looked almost relieved and went to pull out a chair for her.  Once they were seated one of his attendees brought out some freshly brewed tea and poured for them.  </p><p>“Felix and Sylvain have both mentioned that you’ve regained a few more memories since your awakening. Is this true?”</p><p>“Yes. Although not nearly as many as I wish.”</p><p>Dimitri stirred his tea.  “May I ask if anything specific is causing them?”</p><p>Byleth took a sip of her cup.  Bergamot, her favorite.  She hummed happily and unintentionally at the flavor.  She realized that Dimitri heard her and felt slightly embarrassed.  She noticed his lips curve upward and relaxed.  “I...well it seems to be sensory.  Smell and touch mostly.  Although Claude said something to me that triggered a memory.”</p><p>“I see” Dimitri said, taking a sip of his tea.  “Is there...anything I can do to help you remember?”</p><p>“I’m honestly not sure. I mean these memories just kind of happened. If I knew how to make them trigger more frequently I’d be the first one to try it.”</p><p>Dimitri hummed in thought.  “Byleth, what do you recall of our relationship?”</p><p>Byleth took another sip of her tea and closed her eyes.  She thought back on her time with Dimitri.  When she first met him almost five years ago, she decided he was one of the most beautiful men she’d ever seen.  He was young, bright eyed, and incredibly polite.  He always treated her with the utmost respect even though she was just a mercenary.  Rodrigue was actually the one who recommended her but that was because he knew Byleth’s father, Jeralt.  Byleth’s first job was body guard duty for the young Lion leader.  He had just taken over.  Byleth managed to uncover an poisoning plot planned by one of the Lion’s older members who thought he should have taken over instead of Dimitri.  At first no one believed Byleth’s theory, so she took Dimitri’s cup of wine and drank the poison.  Jeralt had conditioned Byleth’s body since she was young, to combat various poisons.  He said it was a vital tolerance to be a mercenary.  She knew the poison wouldn’t kill her but it knocked her out for several days.  When she awoke, Dimitri was at her side, holding her hand and practically crying.  He felt so horrible that he did not believe her.  Their relationship was established almost immediately on mutual trust.  She could tell he was trustworthy by looking in his eyes.  They were his biggest tell.  Now...now she could not read them as well. </p><p>Byleth recanted the story of their meeting, then followed it with that she’d been employed by the Lions countless times after that, eventually deciding she trusted Dimitri and Claude more then Edelgard and Yuri and wanted to only help the Lions and the Deer.  </p><p>Byleth took another sip of her tea, hazy memories floating in her mind at the familiar taste.  “I also remember this…we did this about twice a month, sat here and drank tea and talked for...hours sometimes. You once told me about Duscur...about the darkness in your heart since the tragedy.”</p><p>She opened her eyes and noticed Dimitri’s surprised expression.  “Am I wrong?” she asked worried.</p><p>“No no, not at all. That is true. But based on how far your memories went back to we had barely started doing that. What made you think of that specific conversation? If I recall correctly that was two years ago.”</p><p>“I’m not sure. I think it was the tea. It’s my favorite. You always had some for me.”</p><p>“Yes, I knew how fond of it you were.”  His eye examined her again.  “But I do not believe you answered my question.”</p><p>“Oh um…” Byleth closed her eyes again it really helped her focus.  “I believe we were close but to what extent I’m not sure. I think we trusted each other entirely which I do not normally do. I...hope we were friends.”  Byleth opened her eyes and again was met with an unreadable expression.  “We’re we?”</p><p>“Uh yes Byleth, friends is an accurate term but I always believed we were more than that” he said slowly as if not sure he liked his word choice.  “Do you recall either of us being in a relationship with someone?”</p><p>Byleth blinked a few times, not expecting this question.  She took another sip of her tea and closed her eyes.  “I know I was with someone at some point, specifically when I was captured but I don’t know who.  You…”  Byleth’s mind played through some images, until one stuck.  She felt pain erupt in her skull and let out a little cry.  Dimitri was next to her in a second, his big hands cupping her face and looking at her concerned.</p><p>“Byleth I apologize. I should have known better than to ask you to remember something that was earlier than three years.”</p><p>Dimitri pressed his thumbs into Byleth’s forehead and the pain immediately subsided.  “How did you do that?” she asked.</p><p>“Ah well I get headaches like that sometimes when I think of…” He trailed off.  </p><p>Byleth knew the end of that sentence.  “Thank you” she said softly.  Dimitri’s ice blue eye bore into her for a moment before he stood up and returned to his chair.  “And I believe I remembered.”</p><p>“Oh?”</p><p>“You were with Marianne.”</p><p>“I was for a time, yes.”</p><p>“Oh? You are no longer together?” Dimitri shook his head.  “For some reason I believe I thought you two would last.”  Byleth chuckled to herself.  “Goddess I remember being incredibly jealous of her.”</p><p>“Really? Why is that?”</p><p>Byleth took another sip of her drink.  The tea really helped her for some reason.  “Marianne is so proper, polite, faithful and stunningly beautiful. I never understood how she got involved in this lifestyle but I wanted to be like her.”</p><p>“May I ask why?” Dimitri asked when Byleth said no more and turned her attention to a cranberry orange scone.  </p><p>“Because...I could never be her.”  Byleth sighed and leaned forward on the table. </p><p>“Byleth why would you ever want to be someone else? You are perfect as you are.”</p><p>Byleth felt her face flush at his words.  “You are just being nice. I’m a mercenary. A person for hire. I fight, kill and do things for money. I do not have the faith or the manners or anything close to the beauty that Marianne possesses. Not even a little bit.”</p><p>“That’s not true, at least when it comes to beauty. And you have some many other amazing qualities that she does not.”</p><p>Byleth chuckled softly.  “Again, you are being too nice.”</p><p>“I do not understand why you will not believe me. Why does being like her matter to you?”</p><p>Byleth bit her lip then decided there was no point in holding it in.  It probably did not matter anyway and maybe it would help him trust her if she let out a bit of her heart.  Byleth stood up and moved to the edge of the courtyard, unable to look at him.  Instead she focused on a beautiful pink rose bush.  “Because Dimitri, I wanted to be with you. I had such a crush on you. You were so perfect and polite but powerful and commanding. I always wanted to be near you, but at the same time felt so dirty and wrong when I was, like I wasn’t worthy of you. You were so beautiful and I was...I don’t know, just me.”</p><p>Byleth’s ears felt hot.  She was so incredibly embarrassed.  Maybe telling him that was a bad idea.  What was she thinking?  She was already off to a bad start today.  Despite the wonderful and stress relieving sex with Sylvain, she knew she should not have done that.  If Sylvain wasn’t the one she was with when she was captured then she probably just hurt someone who loved her.  When did she stop being the Ashen Demon?  When did she let all these emotions and urges get in her way? </p><p>Byleth’s thoughts were interrupted when Dimitri came up behind her.  His big hand cupped her jaw and before she knew what was happening, his mouth was on hers.  Byleth was surprised.  It took her a moment to reciprocate, but that was all she got before Dimitri pulled back.</p><p>“I apologize Byleth. I...I could not stop myself after your confession. I…”</p><p>Dimitri looked a bit lost, his ice blue eye examining hers.  Byleth was trying to remember if she had ever felt his lips before.  They were incredible and she wanted more, but something felt a bit off.  Dimitri was clearly struggling with what he had just done.  Was it because they’d never done that before, or because he was just too polite and proper and it was out of character, or because they had been together and he was afraid of influencing her memories.  Whatever it was she wouldn’t find out yet.  Someone cleared their throat behind them and Byleth couldn’t keep the smile from her face when she saw who.</p><p>“Dedue!” she said happily.  </p><p>Dedue looked surprised at her jovial greeting.  “Byleth, you remember me?”</p><p>Byleth almost laughed.  “Of course I do. For the most part I remember everyone. I’m just missing a lot from the past three years.”  She moved up to Dedue, wanting to hug him.  This was odd since she knew Dedue was not a hugger.   </p><p>“I’m glad you remember me and I am glad you have returned. We all are.”</p><p>“Dedue was hoping to prepare a meal for you and I tomorrow evening if...you’d like to join me for dinner” Dimitri said.  </p><p>Byleth observed the Lion leader.  The shock of his actions seemed to be gone, but his invitation came out a bit hesitant.</p><p>Byleth smiled.  “That sounds wonderful, but I do hope you will eat with us Dedue.”</p><p>“For a bit yes.”</p><p>Rodrigue appeared again.  “Byleth my dear I must steal Dimitri away for some business if you are finished with your tea.”  Byleth nodded.  “I believe my son was hoping you’d join him for some training. Sometimes nothing jogs the memory like the feeling of your sword in your hand, the thumbing of your heart, and sweat pouring down your back.”</p><p>Byleth smiled again.  “I hope that’s true.”  She turned to Dimitri.  “Thank you for the wonderful tea and conversation. I will see you both tomorrow.”  She gave a little wave and walked off the balcony.</p><p>Byleth was hoping for a moment to herself but was disappointed.  Sylvain was waiting for her in the hallway.  He extended an arm to her.</p><p>“Where would you like to go baby girl? Consider me your handsome escort for the day.”</p><p>“The whole day or just until another girl catches your interest?”</p><p>Sylvain faked being stabbed in the heart.  “Come on now.”  He bent down to speak in her ear.  “After this morning you must know I only have eyes for you.”</p><p>Byleth shivered at his words and the feeling of his breath on her neck.  “You haven't changed at all.”</p><p>“That’s not true! I’ve learned to love since your last memories.”  Sylvain stopped their progress and pushed her against the hallway wall.  His leg moved between hers and his hand shifted her jaw to the side so he could kiss her neck.  “She is beautiful and deadly. I want her every moment I can have her, more than I’ve ever wanted someone else in my life.”  He kissed her neck again, pressing his leg against her core, one of his hands finding its way onto her stomach.  “What do you say Byleth? Why don’t we return to my bed for the rest of the day? I’d love to have more of you, to help you with your memories.”</p><p>Byleth let out a little gasp when he grabbed her ass and bit down on her neck.  </p><p>“Mmm Sylvain that does sound amazing but I had something else physical in mind.”</p><p>“Oh? I’m up for anything” he said with a wink.</p><p>“If my memory serves me correct you’re not up for this.”</p><p>-<br/>
Byleth walked into the Lions training ground.  It was actually lunch time so it wasn’t surprising that no one was there.  Well not, no one… Felix was moving through a training routine.  His white tank top clung to his sweaty torso as he perfectly executed a slash, then dodging footwork.  </p><p>She was right in that Sylvain did not want to train.  Instead he left her with Felix in search of some food and most likely other female company.  For a moment she believed Sylvain when he said he was in love with someone.  His description also sounded a lot like her, but she didn’t want to be naïve.  Sylvain was always flowery with his words.  She recalled thinking he might not be able to love someone truly…</p><p>Felix stopped his movements to walk off to the side and grab a towel.  Byleth watched him lift up his shirt to reveal an insanely defined stomach.  Wow…Byleth thought swallowing hard and trying to push back the desire to run her tongue along the definition of his abs.  Seriously, when did she get so distracted by the opposite sex?</p><p>“Are you going to watch me or are you going to train?” Felix asked without looking at her.</p><p>He put the towel down then moved to the training rack to grab another sword.  Apparently he already knew her answer.  Felix held out the sword then pulled it back slightly when she reached for it.  </p><p>“Will you be ok to do this? Do I need to hold back?”</p><p>Byleth narrowed her eyes. She couldn’t tell if he was concerned or being smug.  She snatched the sword from his fingers and took up a stance.</p><p>“If you hold back I’ll make you pay for it.” Felix grinned then attacked. </p><p>Now this felt right.  Moving along with a skilled and powerful sparring partner in a sword dance was so liberating.  Her accelerated heart rate, the heat of their bodies, the sweat on her skin, the fact that Felix wasn’t giving her a second to breath, it was exactly what she needed.  This was more stress relieving than her sexual encounter with Sylvain.  Felix had definitely improved from the last time she remembered fighting him, or maybe she was just out of shape.  But she did find the small grin on his face rather distracting.  She definitely didn’t remember that. </p><p>A half an hour later, Byleth was surprised to be on her back with Felix’s blade pressed against her throat. They were both breathing heavily, Felix’s thighs holding her body in place, sweat running down his now shirtless chest, that damn grin on his face.  Felix’s vermilion eyes swirled with determination and satisfaction, his hair in a messy bun…  Had Byleth always found him attractive or was this new?</p><p>“Yield” he said low and cocky.</p><p>If this was new she was blind.  She really wanted to wipe the smile from his face.  Byleth shifted a bit testing, his balance and her own muscle strength.  She could feel the heat coming off of his body but nothing that would give her any leeway to push him off.  If she couldn’t out muscle him then maybe…  Byleth raised her arms and wrapped them around Felix’s legs as best she could.  They both knew she had no strength in this position but she was curious to see what his reaction would be as her fingers touched the exposed skin of his thighs.  For once he was wearing shorts to train but that was probably because she had his leggings.  The smirk shifted to a look of surprise but he was trying to focus on her movements, figure out if she could actually get out of his hold.  Byleth grabbed his legs, feeling the hard muscle.  Damn Felix was basically nothing but muscle.  She liked the way his legs felt in her hands.  </p><p>“Whatever you’re trying to do, it won’t work” Felix said gruffly.  </p><p>“Mmmm maybe” Byleth said, closing her eyes and really focusing on her body and how his kept it in place.  She was almost surprised Felix let her take this long to yield but she knew how much he loved to learn fighting techniques and weaknesses.  If there was a way out of his hold he wanted to know about it.  The odd thing was she had no idea why she was doing this.  Byleth was certain he won.  Something about having Felix so willingly close, letting her touch him as she wanted…</p><p>A memory lingered in her mind.  It didn’t want to push forward so she kept moving her hands, feeling Felix’s hot skin and his sweat.  Listening to the sound of their heavy breathing.  She moved a hand to his inner thigh and felt him tense.  For some reason she really enjoyed the way he reacted to her exploration.  The memory became a bit clearer.  </p><p>Felix and Byleth spent several hours a day in the Lions training area.  For the longest time she’d beat him quickly, never easily but he let himself exposed too much.  Slowly he became better, constantly learning from his mistakes, pushing Byleth to realize some of her own.  With each slash another lesson learned, with each step their footwork improved.  A memory of them using real weapons played through her mind.  Felix was deadly serious as they moved.  His eyes glowing with determination, his jaw locked.  He stabbed toward her, cutting a slight rip in her shirt.  His eyes went wide for a moment, thinking he hurt her.  He dropped his guard and Byleth took advantage, tripping him and knocking him onto his back.  She straddled him and pressed the blade against his throat, almost breaking the skin.  Byleth smiled at him.</p><p>“You should never worry about me.”</p><p>Felix looked up at her, still serious.  “That’s ridiculous. I will always worry about you.”</p><p>Byleth shifted back in surprise.  Suddenly she was the one on the ground and Felix had her pinned, a cocky grin on his face.  “Now who's letting their guard down?”</p><p>Byleth frowned.  “That wasn’t fair Felix Fraldarius. Since when do you use such sweet lines in training? I think Sylvain is wearing off on you.”</p><p>Felix scoffed.  “It wasn’t a line.”</p><p>“What?” Felix faced turned redder than it already was from their fight.</p><p>Byleth’s memory shifted to another one.  They were fighting the Eagles.  Byleth and Felix had gotten separated from everyone else.  Byleth was injured, blood seeping out a wound on her side.  She was leaning against the wall of an alleyway.  Felix stood in front of her, his back to her, blood pouring down his arm.  </p><p>“Fe…” she grumbled.  “You need to run. We are both sitting ducks here.”</p><p>“No” he said, moving his sword up more, ready for an attack. </p><p>“Felix please just go.”</p><p>“No!” he growled. He glanced back at her, those orange eyes glowing.  “You’re an idiot if you think I’d leave you here.”</p><p>Byleth felt her chest tightened.   </p><p>In real life her fingers moved across a scar on the top of his right thigh. It was thick and long.  </p><p>A new memory hit her.  This time they were on a cot.  Felix was shirtless, only wearing a bloodied ripped up pair of pants that Byleth cut into.  He had an arm slung over his eyes and a grimace on his face.  The water bucket next to her was red with his blood.  Byleth felt her heart beating fast as she tried to get the leg wound clean.  It was deep, she needed to heal him fast but she couldn’t if the bleeding wouldn’t stop.  Tears streamed down her face, falling onto his skin.  Her fingers shook.  She was so worried she was about to lose him.  </p><p>Felix touched her hand and Byleth almost jumped.  He had been in and out of concussions so she wasn’t expecting him to touch her.  Byleth looked at him.  One eye was visible now as he watched her.</p><p>“I trust you…” he said hoarsely. “I…”</p><p>Felix drifted back into unconsciousness and Byleth felt the need to sob.  She tried to calm her breathing, tried to focus.  </p><p>“Byleth!” Felix shouted.</p><p>Byleth opened her eyes and saw a blurry man above her.  She knew it was Felix but tears were keeping her from seeing him clearly.  Felix helped her sit up, then wiped the stream of the tears from her face.  </p><p>“Are you ok? Did I hurt you?”</p><p>“No I…”  Byleth wiped more tears from her eyes and looked at him.  “I remembered something.”</p><p>Felix didn’t speak, just looked at her like he would hold his breath until she continued.  Byleth reached out and started pushing up the right leg of his shorts.  She felt him tense but he did not stop her.  A thick scar lay across his thigh.  Byleth let a finger lightly run along it.  </p><p>“Was this because of me?”</p><p>“What did you remember?” he asked.</p><p>“At first it was us training, here, with real swords.  You almost stabbed me, but I won because your concern left you open for me to attack. Then you said something sweet to me and it threw me off my guard so you could change our positions.  I accused you of hanging out with Sylvain too much but you told me it wasn’t a line…”  Byleth stopped to examine his face.  He was watching her intently, obviously afraid to break her story with questions.  “Then we were in an alleyway.  I was bleeding from a wound on my stomach.  I told you to run and leave me but you wouldn’t...you called me an idiot for thinking you’d leave me to die.”  She took a deep breath, her finger still lightly moving across the scar.  “The last one was of you on a cot, bleeding from a leg wound. I was...freaking out because I thought you might die.  My hands shook...I wanted to scream...but you grabbed my hand and told me you trusted me…”  </p><p>Fresh tears fell down Byleth’s face.  “Did I succeed or did someone else heal you?”</p><p>Felix continued to watch her for a moment.  “You don’t remember any more from that?”  She shook her head.  He sighed.  “The alleyway and the injury were the same day. We managed to get away to a Lion’s safe house but no one was there who had healing abilities.”  Felix reached out again and wiped the tears from her face.  “There is a lot more to that memory that I wish you had seen but you did heal me. You saved me.”</p><p>Byleth looked into his eyes again.  “But you saved me first, right?”</p><p>Felix chuckled.  The sound warmed her heart. </p><p>“We were even that day” he said stressing the word, ‘that’.</p><p>Byleth smiled.  “So we fought together a lot” she mused.  “No wonder I want to trust you so badly.”</p><p>Felix didn’t say anything, but she could tell he wanted to tell her to trust him.  The thing about Felix was he never said anything needlessly.  It didn’t do either of them any good for him to tell her to trust him.  She needed to decide that on her own.</p><p>“Do you trust me?” she asked.</p><p>“Always” he said easily.</p><p>Byleth’s eyes went a bit wide.  “Even after everything that happened?”</p><p>“Do you remember who found you before you were brought to Linhardt?”  She shook her head.  “It was Dimitri and I. You ran into us in an alley near the border of Lion and Eagle territory.  Dimitri almost killed you but you said his nickname and it caused him to loosen his grip on your throat. You fell down then ran to me, begging us to help you escape. You used my nickname and I knew it was actually you.”  He sighed and pulled his hair out of the tie, running his fingers through the long inky strands.  “No matter how much Dimitri and my brain was yelling at me that it was a trap I believed you, trusted you.”</p><p>Byleth felt her arms move on their own.  They wrapped around Felix’s neck and pulled him against her.  “I’m sorry Felix. I can’t imagine how difficult that must have been. But I am grateful.”</p><p>Felix returned her embrace.  “I’m glad I was right” he said softly into her hair.  </p><p>Byleth breathed him.  Every time she caught his scent it sent her heart racing.  Something about him kept pulling at her mind, forcing pain to shoot through it.  She did not understand it at all.  The pain was dull at the back of her head so she tried to ignore it.  More tears spilled down her face as she held him tighter.  </p><p>“Are you crying again?” he asked, worry in his voice.</p><p>Byleth nodded against his shoulder.  “It’s ok. I keep crying lately. I can’t stop it so I’m just trying to ignore it.”  Felix rubbed her back.  “I...Felix I…”  Her tears picked up and she tried to hold back her sobs.  A new pain shot through her stomach and she gasped loudly.  Felix pushed her back examining her for injury.</p><p>“I’m ok. I just get this pain sometimes in my stomach.” </p><p>Felix grabbed her shirt and pulled it up slightly.  An odd scar cut under her stomach, above her hip bone.  Felix let his fingers move across it.  Byleth whimpered and he pulled them back.  He had never witnessed this scar before.  Felix had seen Byleth’s stomach countless times.  She had a habit of wearing crop tops in the summer which drove him insane.  For someone who fought most of their life she rarely wore clothing that protected her.  Maybe she got this fighting for the Eagles?  The more he stared at the scar the more a headache formed in the back of his mind.  Pain shot through his skull and he cried out, slumping forward to catch his head in his hands.  Byleth hands rested on his shoulders supporting him.</p><p>“What’s wrong?”</p><p>“I...I don’t know. A sharp pain...just moved through my head.”  </p><p>Byleth furrowed her brows.  That sounded a lot like what she experienced when she was trying to remember something.  Byleth reached out and pressed her thumbs into Felix’s forehead like Dimitri had done to her earlier.  She could feel Felix relax under her touch. </p><p>“Better?” she asked.</p><p>“Yes. Thank you.”</p><p>Byleth watched him for a bit, playing their conversation back through her mind.  Another memory was bubbling at the surface...something he said…</p><p>“Hey you two” Sylvain’s voice said, breaking her thoughts.  “You both look like hell.  You didn’t go too hard on her did you Fe?”</p><p>“No” he grumbled as he stood up and offered Byleth a hand.  </p><p>Byleth dusted her clothes off and smiled.  “Actually, I found it very therapeutic. I hope we can return to a daily training schedule Felix.”</p><p>Felix nodded and pulled his shirt back on.  Byleth frowned as his perfect stomach was hidden away.  </p><p>“Baby girl, Claude wanted to check in on you. He is up with Dimitri if you’d like to say hello.”</p><p>Byleth nodded, feeling like she owed Claude another apology.  He came to her aid countless times yesterday just to have her run off with Sylvain and Felix.  She felt bad.  Sylvain handed her a pile of clothes that Claude brought along in case she needed them.  Again she was grateful.  She changed and her and Sylvain walked back up to Dimitri’s courtyard.  When they got to the entrance Dedue held out a hand.  They could hear Claude and Dimitri arguing, or really it was Dimitri yelling at Claude, and the Deer leader brushing it off with sweet charming words.  She clearly heard Dimitri accuse Claude of “using her” with which Claude finally raised his voice and slammed a fist down on the table.  </p><p>“I’m not using her anymore then you are! Besides you know how I feel. I told you before!”</p><p>“Claude, it is difficult to imagine you truly caring for anyone other than yourself.”</p><p>“I find myself thinking the same about you” Claude said sweetly, clearly gaining control of his anger. </p><p>“ME!” Dimitri bellowed.  “I am not an egotistical narcissistic like you! Do not lump us together.”</p><p>Claude chuckled.  “If that’s what you truly think of me then why have we been working together for the past four years?”</p><p>“You know why…”</p><p>Claude sighed.  “I do, but still if you think so highly of yourself and so little of me...what does that say about you working with me?”</p><p>Dimitri growled and Byleth decided this conversation should end.  She lightly placed a hand on Dedue’s arm.  He conceded and let her through.</p><p>“I apologize for interrupting.”</p><p>They both looked at her.  Claude smiled and gave her a flourishing bow.  </p><p>“My lady, don’t you look lively this day. I hear you were sparing with the broody swordsman. How do you feel?” Claude said moving towards her. </p><p>“Good for the most part. Thank you for bringing some clothing. I was wondering if I could talk to you in private?”</p><p>“That’s funny. I was wondering the same thing. Why don’t you come back to my place with me. I have your room setup. All of your stuff we could find is there.”</p><p>“Really?” Claude nodded and offered her his arm.  “That sounds great thank you. Are you done speaking with Dimitri?”</p><p>Claude glanced back at the Lion leader who still looked a bit furious.  “Yes we are finished for now.”</p><p>Byleth gave Dimitri a little smile and a wave.  “I’ll see you tomorrow.”  He gave her a small nod then sat back down at the table.   </p><p>Claude wrapped an arm around her waist.  “Thank you for rescuing me for that thick headed man.”</p><p>Byleth smiled.  “Can I ask what you were arguing about?”</p><p>“Nothing for you to worry about. You already have enough on your plate.”</p><p>Sylvain gave Byleth a kiss on the cheek and told her she’d see him later.  Wow, the Lions were leaving her alone for a bit… That was probably a good thing.  She was still trying to wrap her brain around everything that had happened today already.  </p><p>When they returned to Claude’s club he guided her to her new room.  It was right next to his.  Byleth wondered if this was his way of keeping an eye on her.  Byleth opened the door and was greeted with a rather large room.  It wasn’t nearly as big as Claude’s but a lot more then Linhardt’s.  A queen size bed with a fluffy looking white comforter, a small fireplace, her own bathroom and a little balcony, which Claude explained connected to his.  She noticed a closet which had some of her clothes, shoes and weapons in it as well as a small pile of books, one being her father’s diary.  Seeing the diary made her think of something.  Her mother’s ring was missing.  She almost asked Claude about it but for some reason stopped…Maybe she had given it to someone.</p><p>“Do you like it?” Claude asked.</p><p>“It’s more than I need, thank you.”</p><p>“Byleth I will always give you more then you need because it’s what you deserve.” </p><p>Byleth looked at Claude, another sweet gesture that was genuine.  How did he keep doing that?  “Really Claude this is too much. I am sure someone else who works for you deserves this much more than I. In fact wasn’t this...Lorenz’s room?”</p><p>Claude’s eyes darkened for a moment.  “I see you remember that. Yes it was but he joined the Eagles about ten months ago.”</p><p>“What? But I thought Lorenz was dedicated to the Deer. His father too.”</p><p>Claude sighed and moved his fingers through his hair.  “They were…”  Claude reached out and lightly touched Byleth’s shoulder.  “Please accept this room. It’s been vacant since Lorenz’s betrayal. It would ease some of the pain in my heart to know you are in it.”</p><p>How could Byleth possibly refuse now?  “Alright...but can you tell me what happened with Lorenz?”</p><p>Claude sighed again.  “Later ok? Doing this was already a step in moving on from his betrayal. I think it was enough for one day.”</p><p>Byleth reached a hand out and lightly touched Claude’s cheek.  He leaned into her fingers and closed his eyes.  She stroked his cheek for a bit before Claude turned and kissed her palm.</p><p>“Goddess Byleth you have no idea how good it is to have you back. How much having you around makes me feel like myself again.”</p><p>Byleth bit her lip.  “Claude, about last night. I’m sorry I put you in that position and then basically ran away from it.”</p><p>Claude smiled.  “You didn’t do anything I wasn’t ready to handle. I figured someone would show up here looking for you from the Wolves or the Eagles. I wasn’t ill prepared my dear. But Yuri’s story and Linhardt’s...forgetfulness, that I was...a bit surprising.”  It was Claude’s turn to stroke her cheek.  “Do not feel guilty for losing your memories. This is all the Eagles fault. I do not blame you at all. Although…”  He pulled his hand back.  “I understand why you left last night but I wished you would have stayed, not that you weren’t safe with Sylvain…I want you to feel safe here, safe with me. I know that is asking a lot.”  He gave her a warm smile.  “It’s just where I hope we end up soon, complete trust in each other.”</p><p>Byleth nodded. “I wish for that too. That’s why I will accept this room.”</p><p>“Good. I also thought you’d like to be here if you had trouble sleeping. I meant what I said yesterday, I don’t mind holding you. Wake me up if you need me. In fact you should remember I barely sleep anyway.”  </p><p>She did remember.  Her eyes shifted to the inviting looking bed.  Suddenly she was exhausted.  “Claude I will help you as much as I can. I apologize for not asking what’s going on with you and the Deer but I am here for you. I...I don’t know how I can help you, yet. Linhardt said not to do any field work until he clears me but I had a good training session with Felix today.”</p><p>Claude pulled her against his chest in a hug.  “By, you don’t need to do anything for me. I’m not helping you so you’ll owe me. I’m helping you because I…”  Claude stopped and swallowed hard, clearly about to say something he shouldn’t.  “Because I care about you Byleth. I always have. Please don’t think you owe me a thing.”</p><p>Byleth frowned.  “You know I’ll still try to pay you back somehow.”</p><p>Claude smiled.  “I know Beautiful and I will do everything in my power to stop you.”</p><p>Byleth smiled and linked a hand with his.  She realized one of the reasons she ran away last night was because she was having a hard time digesting all the feelings that swirled around her stomach every time she was next to Claude.  But right now she would ignore them and just be grateful.  Right now she would accept his help. </p><p>“Are you...busy at the moment?” she asked.</p><p>Claude raised an eyebrow.  “What do you have in mind?”</p><p>“I’d like to take a nap. I’m exhausted. Being around the Lions is always...something” she said with a sheepish grin.  “And that bed you gave me looks so inviting. Would you...join me? I still haven't been able to sleep well.”</p><p>Claude gave her a bright smile.  “Why don’t you get ready for your nap and I’ll join you in a bit?”</p><p>Byleth smiled and nodded.  </p><p>Thirty minutes later, she felt Claude move in next to her.  Byleth was already half asleep but she didn’t mind him pulling her against his chest.  She got a good whiff of his scent, that wonderful combination of cloves and vanilla.  It was easy for her to fall asleep, wrapped up in him.   </p><p>-<br/>
Again Byleth had dreams of a golden god surrounding her in warmth and love.  She sighed happily as she stretched, feeling rather refreshed after a two hour nap.  She opened her eyes and saw the sleeping face of Claude.  He looked so peaceful and beautiful.  Byleth shifted back a bit so she could admire his handsome face.  She had never seen Claude like this, calm, at peace, eyes closed and completely vulnerable.  He always had some sort of wall up even against those he trusted.  Byleth reached out and pushed a stray hair of dark brown from his face.  She let her fingers move lightly across his face, tracing his jaw bone down to his chin.  Claude was unbelievably handsome, but right now he was beautiful with the absence of those mischievous eyes and smirk.  It made her heart feel warm to know he could sleep with her like this.  </p><p>Byleth continued to stroke his face, trying to figure out if he was the man in her dreams.  For some reason Sylvain was so clear last night when they were wrapped up together.  Did that mean her dreams of the golden god weren’t memories?  An odd image formed in her mind...a tattoo of a lotus next to his hip bone, sitting in the sexy v line of his right side. </p><p>Byleth shifted and looked down at Claude’s stomach.  It wouldn’t take much for her to pull up his shirt and glance at his hip bone.  He was already laying on his left side.  She reached out and grabbed a bit of his shirt.  Claude stretched in his sleep then opened his eyes to look at her.  They turned curious when he saw his shirt in her hand, her eyes fixed on his midsection.</p><p>“Beautiful if you want to take my clothes off you could at least wake me up first” he said with a heated grin.</p><p>Byleth felt her face flush but wasn’t able to explain herself.  A loud knock vibrated across her door.</p><p>“Claude, I have a report. It’s urgent” Ignatz’s voice said.  </p><p>Claude immediately moved out of the bed and went towards the door.  Byleth followed after him, hearing the worry in the assassins voice. </p><p>“The Eagles have attacked the Church of Serios in the Lion’s territory. They stole an artifact, took two hostages, tried to kill Dimitri and Lady Rhea, and managed to injury Seteth and one of Lions.”</p><p>“Who are the hostages?” Claude asked.</p><p>“Flayn and Annette”  </p><p>“Shit!” Claude cursed.  “Where’s Dimitri? We need to talk immediately.”</p><p>“Still at the scene. Rodrigue gave me the report. I am about to go and check it out” Ignatz said.</p><p>“Which of the Lions was injured?” Byleth asked, dread sitting in her stomach.</p><p>“Felix I believe. He went after the Eagles and almost got killed. According to Rodrigue he is stable but they did not have a healer with him so I am not sure his life is spared.”</p><p>Byleth clenched her fists.  Claude was staring at her oddly.</p><p>“Byleth I am going to go with Ignatz. Do you want to come along?”</p><p>“Where...where is Felix?” Byleth asked.</p><p>“I believe he is still at the church. They didn’t want to move him.” Ignatz responded.</p><p>“Then I’m coming with you.”  Byleth retreated into her closest and grabbed a few weapons, a beautiful blue dagger she didn’t recall owning and her favorite long silver sword.  She knew it was dangerous for her to go to the church right after it was attacked.  It could be a trap, but...Felix needed healed and she wasn’t going to risk not being there for him.  It was an easy decision, her life over Felix’s…</p><p>Byleth stopped in the closet doorway.  Why was that such an easy decision?</p><p>“Byleth come on we need to hurry” Claude said motioning her with his hands.</p><p>Byleth ran to meet him and followed him out of the club.  She’d answer that question later.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So you got a bit of smut in this chapter.  I don't plan to make this story smutty, but there will be bits here and there that I hope you guys enjoy :) </p><p>Next chapter should have more action and less emotions but Byleth will be forced to accept some of the things she did while under the Eagles control.  </p><p>Thanks for reading!  Comments appreciated!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Shock and Threats</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Byleth is forced to face something she did during her capture.  The Eagles lay a trap for Byleth.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Church of Serios was already cleaned up and back in order when they arrived.  Anyone walking in would have no idea an attack had just happened.  Lady Rhea stood in all of her archbishop glory, shroud in white with beautiful lilies in her hair.  She looked unphased, not like someone was not just kidnapped and others injured on her property.  She was speaking with Dimitri, smiling sweetly, obviously trying to stay on his good side.  For some reason it rubbed Byleth the wrong way.  Instead she focused on trying to find Felix.  She found Rodrigue who pointed her to a small door.  Byleth opened it and saw Sylvain trying to heal Felix.  The redhead was weak in Faith magic but at least he was doing something to try to heal him.  </p><p>Byleth noticed Felix’s pained face, a deep gash across his chest.  Byleth wanted to cry seeing him in such pain.  She immediately bent down and started cleaning up the blood while Sylvain worked.  The redhead looked pale and serious, focused on his task.  Byleth reached up and wiped the sweat from his head.</p><p>“Are you ok? Do you need help?”</p><p>“No” he practically shouted.  “I can do this just keep his wound clean, keep him distracted.”</p><p>Byleth was surprised by his serious tone but she believed him.  The problem was she had no idea how to keep Felix distracted.  She reached down and freed his hair from the tie.  He grimaced again as she cleaned off fresh blood.  Byleth ran her other fingers through his inky sweat slicked hair.  She wanted to speak but no words came to her.  Instead she hummed softly, a tune she’d didn’t recall but it felt so right.  Felix stared at her.  She couldn’t read his expression but she thought maybe he recognized the tune.  </p><p>Sylvain stopped and let out a frustrated growl. He grabbed Byleth’s arm and pulled her ear to his lips.</p><p>“I need to do something that is going to hurt a lot. You need to distract him more.”</p><p>“How?”</p><p>Sylvain growled.  “I don’t know...Actually, kiss him. That will distract him.”</p><p>Byleth thought he was joking but it was clear in the pain of his normally warm laughing brown eyes that he was not.  She turned back to Felix and continued to run her fingers through his hair.  </p><p>“Felix I…” she started to say but realized there was no point in explaining this.  She bent down and captured his lips.  She felt Felix tense under her but then an arm wrapped around her, pulling her tight against him.  Byleth felt memories threaten her mind, odd flashes of happiness and pain.  She wanted to sink into them but she was afraid it would cause her to pull away from Felix.  He had just gasped out in pain but she recaptured his mouth.  He tried to return her passions but it was hard with how much pain the healing was causing him.  Byleth was a bit surprised at how willingly Felix accepted her kiss.  Must be the amount of pain he was in...she thought.  Byleth kept distracting him as Sylvain continued to heal him.  </p><p>Felix shook, trying to focus on Byleth’s lips instead of the sheer pain of Sylvain’s magic as it attempted to stitch together his chest.  His eyes watered, his chest hurt, but Byleth’s lips felt so unbelievably soft and warm.  He knew Sylvain was struggling, knew that if Byleth hadn’t showed up the redhead would have lost all hope.  Something about Byleth’s presence gave Sylvain a boast to try again, allowing him to focus.  </p><p>Sylvain stopped and shifted back, lightly tapping Byleth’s shoulder.  She almost reluctantly pulled away from Felix.  Her vision was blurred but she could still see the huge gash in Felix’s chest.  Memories threatened her and she felt dizzy.  </p><p>“Is...he ok?” Byleth managed to ask, her head in her hands.</p><p>“Enough until a better healer then me arrives. Are you ok?” Sylvain asked, reaching out and pulling Byleth against his chest.     </p><p>“I...images are...flashing in my head...I was trying to ignore...the memories...so I could help...Felix.”</p><p>Byleth was about to speak more but a loud gasp came from the doorway.  Between the haze and flashing images Byleth recognized...Mercedes.  The woman had short hair and was dressed like a nun but for some reason she thought for sure it was Mercedes. </p><p>“Wait Mercie!” Sylvain shouted as the woman moved out of the room.  “I’m sorry baby girl but if we want Felix healed I need to move you.”  He picked Byleth up and carried her out of the room then sat her on the closest pew.  He then ran off to get Mercedes. </p><p>Byleth had no idea what was going on.  Why had Mercedes just left the room like that?  Byleth groaned trying to get her vision to clear.  Her heart desperately wanted to see the memories but her mind knew that it wasn’t the time.  A body sat next to her, supporting her leaning weight.</p><p>“I got you Beautiful. Sylvain explained what happened. Don’t worry about your body just focus on clearing your mind” Claude’s warm voice said as he pulled her against his chest and stroked her arm.</p><p>Byleth went to say something but he shushed her like a small child.  When her mind cleared, Byleth stayed in Claude’s arms, head resting against his chest.  It just felt too nice. </p><p>“Why did Mercedes react like that?” she managed to ask after a few minutes.</p><p>“By...do you really want to know?” Claude asked softly.</p><p>Byleth felt dread settle into her stomach.  “I did something to her while I was with the Eagles didn’t I?”</p><p>Claude ran his fingers through her hair.  “By, you didn’t do anything. You can’t think like that. It will drive you mad.”</p><p>“What was it?”</p><p>“You won’t let this go until I tell you, will you?” Claude asked with a sigh.</p><p>“No.”</p><p>Claude’s grip on her tightened.  He kissed her forehead then shifted her body and leaned down so his eyes were in line with hers.  The sad depth of those deep green iris’s stunned her for a moment.  “The Eagles captured her and tortured her for information about her family’s relic.  The Eagles have been trying to get their hands on all the relics. Mercedes said she had no idea where hers was, which was true.  You…”  Claude paused and kissed her cheek.  “On the command of Hubert, you shaved Mercedes hair off, broke her jaw and...cut off one of her fingers.”</p><p>Byleth immediately pushed away from Claude and hit the church floor hard.  Vile spread across the floor as her mind and body struggled with the information. </p><p>“No...no...no...NO!!!!!” Byleth screamed.  Her head throbbed painfully as her body shook with shock.  How could she do such a terrible thing?  It didn’t matter that she was under a powerful mind control spell, Byleth wanted to believe that she could have fought it off enough to prevent doing something so terrible to someone she liked, someone who had such a kind and beautiful soul. </p><p>Sylvain joined Claude on the floor with her.  Both tried to say soothing words to get her to calm down but none of it worked.  Dimitri’s loud voice could be heard as well.  It’s cold depth cut through some of her heavy breathing and she could tell her was yelling at Claude.  The Deer leader was defending his actions.  </p><p>Byleth couldn’t be here anymore.  She ripped her arm out of Sylvain’s grasp and forced her legs to push her towards the door.  The outside air felt soothing to her lungs as her knees hit the concrete of the stairs.  Byleth shifted her head slightly and her heart stopped.  Four bloodied bodies lay before her at the base of the stairs.  Two Lion members and two Deer.  A cold laugh sent chills down her spine.  </p><p>Hubert stood several feet away, clad in a black suit, his chartreuse eyes glowing even from how far apart they stood.  Several men stood in front of him.  But what Byleth was really focused on were the two women they had in their captivity, Flayn and Annette.  Both conscious, both struggling to get free. </p><p>“Just the person I wanted to see” Hubert said, a cold smile resting on his face.</p><p>Byleth forced herself to stand.  She must already look terrible but that didn’t mean she couldn’t face this man, her captor.  </p><p>“My dear Byleth, Edelgard misses you so much.  It is clear you are struggling to adapt back in with the Lions and Deer.  Why not come home to us?  We will continue to treat you like the queen you are.”</p><p>“It doesn’t matter how you treat me if I have no power over my own actions” Byleth said.</p><p>Hubert chuckled.  “Is that what they told you?  Oh my, such liars they are.  You willingly did everything we requested of you.  You are so fond of Edelgard after all.”</p><p>“What are you talking about?” Byleth growled out.  “You brainwashed me and made me hurt people I care about!” she shouted.  </p><p>Hubert looked affronted.  “I did no such thing.  That emerald hair mage must have cast his own spell upon you.  Or maybe it was this little gremory.”  Hubert said, kicking Annette lightly in the leg.  She glared at him, unable to speak with the gag in her mouth.  “Anyway I think our reunion chat can wait since you’ll be returning to the Eagles with me.”</p><p>“Like hell I will.”</p><p>Hubert chuckled.  “I deduced that they would cast some spell on you.  That’s why I captured these two girls.  Come with me, willingly and I’ll free them.  If not well….there are a lot of things we can do with them.”</p><p>Byleth’s blood ran cold when he said that.  She didn’t know what to do.  If she didn’t go, Annette and Flayn would be hurt, maybe killed.  If she did go and they brainwashed her again, she could cause a lot more damage.  Byleth was about to step forward but Claude grabbed her wrist.</p><p>“Don’t do it” he said quietly.  “Please Byleth. Dimitri and I will figure out a way to save Annette and Flayn. They are our responsibility not yours.”</p><p>“He took them to trap me.”</p><p>“He probably took them because it was convenient.  This wasn’t planned.”</p><p>“You don’t know that.”</p><p>Claude sighed behind her.  “You’re right.  But I do know I can’t lose you to them again.  None of us can.  He will make you hurt more people like Mercedes.  You’ll just be a tool of destruction.”  </p><p>Byleth swallowed hard, still determined to move to Hubert.  Claude’s hand shook on her arm.  He was genuinely concerned for her.  </p><p>“Hello Claude” Hubert said jovially as if greeting an old friend.  “So good to see you.”</p><p>Claude smiled.  “And it is always a pleasure to see you friend.  Although I wish it wasn’t under these circumstances.”</p><p>“Oh and what do you think is happening right now?”</p><p>“You are trying to take something precious to me.”</p><p>Hubert laughed.  “Since when is the Ashen Demon precious to the Golden Deer?  I believe she was nothing but a tool to you.”</p><p>Byleth barely listened to their conversation.  Instead she was running through several possibilities of how to get Flayn and Annette free and not give herself to Hubert.  In fact she was almost certain that Claude was trying to keep his chat with Hubert going so she could strategize.   </p><p>Lavender...Byleth’s eye caught something lavender from the rooftop of the building to the left.  Yuri peaked behind a brick chimney and blew Byleth a kiss.  She kept her composure and scanned the rest of the area.  Hapi was on the right building roof, in position to attack a long range magic spell.  Balthus was in the alleyway behind Hubert, two Eagles members were on the ground at his feet, yet to be noticed.  And...a flash of blue to the right.  Was that...Caspar?  A tall dark haired woman stood next to him, a bow in her hand.  Shamir…</p><p>“Do you see them?” Claude said softly as Hubert responded to something he said.  Byleth nodded ever so slightly.  “When Shamir shoots, attack.”</p><p>Byleth took a deep breath and settled her eyes on the captives.  They were both squirming with more vigor now.  She wondered if they noticed the Wolves as well.  Byleth was almost certain that Sylvain, Dimitri and Rodrigue were waiting behind the church doors to join in.</p><p>Hubert was just finishing his little speech to Claude.  Byleth took a step towards the group.  She was surprised that Claude let her.</p><p>“Release them.  No harm will come to them and then I will come with you” Byleth said, taking another step and raising her hands in the air to show she wasn’t holding a weapon.  As she progressed she noticed movement on the rooftop in front of her.  Dorothea and...Ingrid.  Byleth stopped a bit surprised to see the blonde.  Dorothea belonged to the Eagles the last she remembered.  So either she was with the Lions now or Ingrid went to the Eagles.  Byleth flicked her eyes to Shamir who shook her head.  The mercenary and Byleth were always good at giving each other subtle clues.  Not friends.  Shit.  Shamir decided not to let more backup get into position.  She fired an arrow into the shoulder of one of the men who held Annette.  Hell broke loose in a rain of magic, arrows and fists.  </p><p>Byleth moved on instinct, dodging several fire spells, as she pulled out her sword and started to sink it into flesh.  Being as exposed as she was, resulted in several blades cutting along her skin as well as taking a nosferatu attack.  She didn’t care.  All the mattered was getting Flayn and Annette out of middle.  She reached Flayn first, who had already managed to take down one of her captors with a wind spell.  Byleth stabbed the other one in the stomach, letting Flayn escape into the church.  Annette was a bit more difficult.  Hubert had her close to him.  The dark mage was insanely difficult to attack at close range and magic did little damage to him.  Either Byleth needed to be quick enough to get to him and his other mages or she’d need to depend on Shamir and Claude to get the job done.  Byleth could hear Dimitri growl as he swung his lance behind her.  Balthus was the next closest to her, his fists clearing a path through several hero class Eagles.  </p><p>Byleth couldn’t risk Annette’s life waiting for the others.  She ran forward, barely dodging a thunder spell to be hit with a meteora spell.  The effects left her knees shaking and her skull rattling.  A mortal savant cut into her side.  Byleth managed to dodge before the sword plunged any deeper.  Her dodge allowed her to move closer to Annette.  Claude hit the savant with an arrow and Shamir got one of the men holding Annette.  Byleth grabbed her and pulled her away but not in time.  A Bolting spell sparked above them.  Byleth covered Annette with her body and took the full force of the attack.  She had no idea if she saved Annette before the world went black. </p><p>--</p><p>This time she was on a cot, strapped down at the wrists, ankles, chest and hips.  Hubert stood over her, blood on his left hand and thick purplish magic pouring out of his right.  </p><p>“Stupid woman” he muttered.  “This would have been so much easier if you weren’t in love.”  </p><p>Byleth’s body was on fire, pain throbbing along every muscle.  A mage she didn’t recognize moved into her vision.  </p><p>“This is incredibly risky.  We could lose her with this procedure” the woman mage said.</p><p>“I don’t care. Lady Edelgard will not wait six months to play with her new toy. I promised her the Ashen Demon and that’s what she is going to get. If the woman dies then at least she is still out  of our enemies hands.”</p><p>Byleth knew her mouth was moving, trying to scream ‘no’, trying to move her muscles to fight back.  How could they...how could they take this from her.  How could they do this to her?  </p><p>The pain increased and Byleth knew tears were falling down the sides of her face.  No matter how much she willed it, her body wouldn’t move.</p><p>Light flickered into her vision as Byleth screams woke up her mind from the nightmare.  A moment later, arms wrapped around her.</p><p>“Shhh it’s ok. You’re not in the enemies hands. I’ve got you” Claude’s warm voice said.  </p><p>Everything hurt so much but the sound of Deer leader’s voice immediately calmed some of her panic.  </p><p>“I want to hold you tighter but I’m afraid to hurt you. Are you ok Byleth? The Eagles didn’t get you. We managed to save Flayn and Annette. Everything is ok.”</p><p>Byleth moved her shaky arms to wrap around Claude’s middle.  She burst into a stream of tears and sobs that just needed to be released.  Claude pulled her into his lap and held her, slowly rocking her and rubbing her back.  </p><p>“You took a very powerful Bolting spell. I’m surprised it didn’t kill you” Claude said when her sobs died down.  “Luckily, Annette was able to immediately start healing you.”  He wiped away some of her tears then pulled her face to look at him.  “You did it By. We saved them. You protected Annette from dying. It’s ok. Please stop crying. I’ve got you. I’ll always have your back. I promise they won’t steal you again.”</p><p>Byleth stared into his beautiful eyes.  He meant every word.  Why did he mean every sweet thing he said to her?  It was making her heart throb. </p><p>In the nightmare, that she was sure was a memory, Hubert said she was in love and that made it difficult for him to cast the spell.  Who was she in love with?  Who should she trust with all these burdens in her mind and on her heart.  Right now she desperately wanted it to be Claude.  He definitely wouldn’t be hard to love.  Especially after seeing this sweet and caring side of him.  Byleth wrapped her arms around his neck and nuzzled into his collar, getting a whiff of his soothing warm scent.  This felt so right.  She just wished she knew if it felt right because it was, or because she just really wanted it to be.  </p><p>“Did you remember something?” Claude asked after another minute. She nodded her head against his chest. “Will you tell me?” </p><p>Byleth made to speak but nothing came out.  Claude kissed her forehead then shifted for a moment.  The next he was holding a glass of water out for her.  Byleth took it, suddenly realizing she was incredibly thirsty.  </p><p>“I’m going to run you a bath. Sylvain is right behind me if you need anything” Claude said rising from the bed.  </p><p>Byleth finished her water then let her eyes take in the handsome redhead.  For once he wasn’t exuding cocky confidence.  His face was pale and he was hunched over, elbows on his knees, hands gripped together so tightly his knuckles were white.  </p><p>“How’s Felix?” she managed to asked.</p><p>Sylvain looked up at her.  The warmth in his eyes was gone.  For a second she thought something had happened to the swordsman.  Sylvain rose and moved over to Byleth.  He pulled her against his chest. </p><p>“He is fine, thanks to you. You helped me heal him enough for Mercedes to finish the job. I’m so grateful.”  </p><p>Byleth hugged him back, remembering just how close Sylvain and Felix were.  </p><p>Claude returned a moment later, then carried Byleth into her bathroom.  It took a lot of effort for Byleth to underdress herself so Claude had to step in and assist.  </p><p>“Do you want me to get Hilda?” he offered.  “Or are you ok with me doing this?”</p><p>“I can do it” a soft voice said from the doorway.  </p><p>Byleth turned and saw Mercedes.  She was absolutely shocked to see the priest standing there. </p><p>“Mercedes I am so sorry” Byleth said roughly as her throat tightened at the sight of the woman she apparently tortured.  “I can’t believe what I did to you!” Byleth burst into tears again.  She was surprised that this time she was hugged by small slender arms instead of Claude’s. </p><p>“Shhh it’s alright” Mercedes said softly. “I know it wasn’t you.”  Mercedes petted her hair and hummed softly, letting Byleth calm down a bit.  “I’m sorry I ran out of the room earlier. It was just such a shock to see you again. I knew you were back with us. I just…I’m sorry.” </p><p>Byleth shook her head against Mercedes’ shoulder.  The priest shifted back.  </p><p>“No more talking. I’m going to heal you some more then I’ll help you undress” Mercedes said. </p><p>Byleth decided to be obedient and let the priest do her job. When Mercedes was done, she helped Byleth into the tub then left.  Byleth sat in the hot water, letting it bring her body back to life.  She was so sore, she didn’t even want to bother washing herself.  </p><p>Ten minutes later Claude knocked on the door.  Byleth didn’t answer, her mind running through the scenarios of the day.  She didn’t realize Claude had walked into the room until his hand touched her forehead.</p><p>“Are you ok?”</p><p>Byleth moved her arm across her chest, thankful there were still bubbles below.  “I’m ok. I just don’t feel like moving” she answered honestly.</p><p>“Do you...want help? Mercedes said you might not be able to move well since your body was shocked hard by the spell.  She wanted to stay and help you but she needed to check on Felix.”  Claude bit his lip for a moment.  “I could get someone else too.”</p><p>Byleth was suddenly fixated on Claude’s mouth.  His lips were bigger than Sylvain’s and incredibly inviting.  She couldn’t help but remember what they felt like.  Being taken care of sounded really nice right now.  Earlier in the church she just wanted to sink into Claude and let him take care of her.  She still felt that way.  She wasn’t sure how she would have gotten through this day without him.  </p><p>“Would it make you uncomfortable...to help me?” </p><p>Claude smiled softly.  “As long as you don’t mind me joining you in the water. This tub has big walls. It’s kinda difficult to do this without coming in.”</p><p>Byleth gave a little nod, then turned her back so Claude could strip.  He added more hot water back and bubbles, creating more of a barrier over their bodies, then got in the tub.  The water shifted as Claude moved to her.  She felt his legs brush along hers then a rag began moving along her back.  Byleth closed her eyes and focused on the feeling of Claude taking care of her.  He was gentle and methodological, making sure to avoid her sensitive spots.  Claude hummed a tune Byleth did not recognize but it really helped her relax.  She sunk against his chest while he was leaning forward to clean her legs.  When he finished she let him pull her back to completely rest against him.  Claude’s fingers brushed along her arm, making her want to fall asleep.  </p><p>“Thank you for letting me take care of you” Claude said softly.  “It makes me feel like you trust me.”</p><p>“I do trust you Claude” she said lazily.  “Thank you for taking care of me. It means so much to me.”</p><p>“Byleth...I hope you understand that I meant what I said.”  His arms wrapped around her collarbone in a hug.  “I can’t let them take you again.  I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you again.”</p><p>There was a raw edge to Claude’s voice that she couldn’t ignore.  Today was a lot for him too.  They almost lost Flayn, Annette, Felix and herself.  She could only imagine how stressful being the leader of a gang was.  </p><p>Byleth shifted to face him.  She placed both of her hands on the side of his face then lightly kissed him.  Claude watched her, uncertain how to respond.  She sat back on her knees and continued to stroke his face.  Claude reached up and replicated her actions, his mouth lingering longer.  Byleth followed his lips when he moved away.  Claude reached out and pulled her to straddle his hips.  Byleth sank into him.  He teased her lips with his tongue and she opened for him.  Their tongues danced together as she wrapped an arm around his neck, her other hand lacing into his hair.  Claude had an arm wrapped around her back, his other hand on her jaw. </p><p>They continued the pleasant assault on each other until the water got cold and Byleth could barely move her body anymore.  Claude helped her out of the tub then guided her back to her bed.</p><p>“Can I...stay with you tonight?” Claude asked cautiously. </p><p>Byleth smiled.  “You beat me to it.”</p><p>Claude grinned and crawled into bed with her after handing her a sleep shirt. </p><p>“You don’t have anything pressing to do, do you? I know how much of a night owl you are.”</p><p>Claude pulled her to him and kissed her.  “You are more important.”  Byleth gave him a confused look.  Claude laughed.  “Don’t worry. I have my best people reviewing the attack today. Yuri’s story checked out which is why they helped us today. I will fill you in on all of that tomorrow” Claude said before Byleth could press for information.  “You need to rest. You shouldn’t have been in the fight today. I promised Linhardt that he could have you for a few hours tomorrow morning. He needs to check you over again.”</p><p>Byleth hummed in understanding.  She stretched along his body, trying to get comfortable.  She felt Claude’s hard length against her and realized she had riled him up in the bathtub for awhile and now just wanted to fall asleep.</p><p>“I’m sorry Claude. I didn’t mean to...leave you...wanting.”</p><p>Claude kissed her forehead.  “Beautiful, I’m just glad you’re alive and you trust me. Grateful that you’re sleeping in my arms.”   </p><p>Byleth moved to capture his lips again.  Goddess they were amazing to kiss, so warm and big.  Byleth suddenly shifted back, a realization slamming into her.  Claude looked a bit startled.</p><p>“What’s wrong? Did you remember something?”</p><p>“Not exactly. I just...tomorrow I need to talk to someone.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next up Byleth confronts someone's actions while giving into her own wants.   </p><p>Thanks for reading and commenting!  I hope this story is coming across well.  It's hard to tell when I don't have many comments to feed off of.  I know it's a bit different from my other story.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. One Down</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Byleth realizes that someone is lying to her while she makes more rash decisions to ease the pain in her mind.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Warm rays of sun cast through the open window of Byleth’s room.  A breeze moved through the space bringing in the scents of summer slowly shifting into fall.  </p><p>Byleth stretched to find an empty bed but she could hear a voice coming from her balcony.  Claude moved past the open doorway, a phone in his hand.  He wore silky golden pants and nothing else.  Even from her bed she could see his messy hair, indicating that he just woke up.  Byleth decided to remain in bed and watch him pace around.  Her eyes mostly fixed on his sexy taut stomach, shifting as he walked.  Specifically, her eyes landed on the lotus tattoo next to his hip bone.  He was the golden god of her dream...  Deep down she knew he was, but this confirmed it. </p><p>Eventually Claude hung up the phone, poured himself a cup of coffee from the french press sitting on the small table, then leaned on the side of the balcony railing.  </p><p>Byleth crawled out of bed and went out to the balcony, trying to ignore the sore feeling in her muscles.  She leaned next to Claude so she wouldn’t startle a man holding a hot cup of coffee.  He gave her a warm inviting smile that basically glowed in the sunlight. </p><p>“How are you today?” Claude asked.</p><p>“Still pretty sore but I slept well. No dreams. Thank you.”</p><p>Claude kissed her forehead.  “Anything for you.”</p><p>Byleth blushed a bit.  He kept saying things like that.  It made her stomach swirl.  She moved away to pour herself some coffee.  “This room and balcony really are too much Claude.  Are you sure someone else isn’t more deserving?”</p><p>Claude chuckled.  “Of course you’d bring this up again. Really By, I want you here. If you choose to go somewhere else that’s fine. Don’t feel obligated to stay.”</p><p>Byleth took a sip of her coffee.  It tasted so damn amazing.  She sighed happily.  Byleth placed her cup down and turned to face Claude.  His eyes shone in the sunlight.  They looked like beautiful green pieces of glass that she wanted to stare at forever.  Byleth moved into his space and Claude automatically wrapped an arm around her waist.  Their lips met briefly. </p><p>“I will stay with you, for now” she said with a grin.</p><p>Claude kissed her again.  “I’ll take what I can get.”</p><p>Byleth wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her lips to his.  This morning was perfect so far.  She was somewhat afraid that the second she left this room her cold reality would take over, leaving her numb or in pain.  Despite the fact that Mercedes forgave her, she really hadn’t dealt with the pain of hurting someone she cared for.  </p><p>Right now, Claude was like the sun, every touch warming up her whole body and soul.  She wanted to keep him to herself a bit longer, to sink into his comforting embrace and stunning eyes.   </p><p>“Claude I...don’t want to face my reality just yet. I know that’s selfish but can we just keep doing this a bit longer?”</p><p>Claude rubbed her shoulder comfortingly.  “Of course By. I just dealt with some business. I have about thirty minutes. I’m yours for half an hour” he grinned.</p><p>Byleth took another gulp of her coffee then grabbed Claude’s hand and pulled him back into the bedroom.  They stood in front of the open door, lips colliding, tongues dancing as the warm breeze from outside kept washing over them.  For some reason Byleth had this need to feel him.  She wanted every part and he was more than willingly to give it to her.  She tried not to focus on the reasons why this might be.  Maybe Claude was just attracted to her, maybe he really truly cared about her, maybe he was the one she was with before her abduction.  But right now he was the man against her, kissing her so passionately she thought she might melt in his arms.  </p><p>Byleth broke away then practically pushed Claude on the bed.  He grinned as she followed, her mouth immediately kissing the flesh of his chest and stomach.  She could feel his hard cock along her leg.  Byleth shifted her leg up a bit more to press against it.  A small gasp left his mouth.  Just as she was starting to rub along him, he sat up and pulled her to straddle him.  Claude opened her shirt and latched onto her right breast, licking and sucking, as he worked to guide her hips to grind his cock.  Byleth moaned, eager for more but this felt good, she didn’t want it to stop yet.  She pushed harder on his cock, moving her hips with more purpose.  Claude groaned and pulled back.</p><p>“Beautiful, let me please you. Let me fuck you so hard your mind goes blank.”</p><p>Claude’s voice was husky with desire and there was no way Byleth could refuse this request.  She wanted him just as bad.  </p><p>“I need you Claude. Please” she said, trying not to sound too desperate. </p><p>Claude picked her up to stand, then stripped them both of their clothing.  They barely made it back to the bed before his cock was pushing into her folds.  Byleth moaned loudly.  He was so big and hard for her.  It fueled her desire more.  Claude’s mouth found hers and they kissed passionately while moving their hips together.  It didn’t take Byleth long to climax.  Everything he did just felt so damn good.  </p><p>Claude pulled out of her for a moment.  Then helped her move up the bed, laying on her side.  He wrapped them together then pushed into her.  His mouth latched onto one of her breasts as he began to fuck her again.  Byleth laced her fingers in his hair and used her other hand to grab onto his hips, helping him get deeper with each thrust.  She lazily chanted his name amidst the haze of pleasure he provided.  He was starting to moan loudly.  She could feel him growing inside of her ready to burst.  Another orgasm crashed into Byleth just before Claude had his own.  She almost didn’t get to finish her blissful journey before he pulled out and decorated her stomach.  He cursed softly and rolled onto his back, catching his breath.  Byleth smiled at how exhausted and happy he looked.  </p><p>Byleth moved to get cleaned up.  When she returned to the bed she noticed Claude’s dick was still hard and his eyes still heated.  He reached out and started kissing her stomach where she stood next to the bed.  He moved lower, flicking his tongue along her clit so she shivered.  Claude guided one of her legs to rest over his shoulder so he could dive into her folds with his tongue.  He supported her back with his free hand while he devoured her insides.  Byleth couldn’t help the stream of whimpers and moans that fell from her mouth.  Every lick was strategic and felt so damn good.  The way he had her positioned over him felt so desperate.  His nose kept brushing along her clit, adding to the intense pleasure.  He kept going until she screamed his name so loudly she was sure anyone occupying this floor heard. </p><p>Claude picked her up and moved her on to the bed, while all her muscles felt weak from the intense pleasure.  His mouth went back to her breasts, slowly kneading the flesh and flicking his tongue across it, while she caught her breath.  When her heart stopped ponding in her ears, she pushed him back so she could kiss a trail from his neck to his cock.  She licked along his huge length then took him in her mouth.  Claude groaned and pushed up his hips, moving deeper into her throat.  It took Byleth a moment to adjust to his size before she started bobbing up and down on him. </p><p>The moans Claude made were absolutely delicious.  Byleth was almost certain she could listen to them forever.  Every moan made her want him more.  Her plan was to suck him off but she wanted his cock again so badly.  Byleth pulled away and mounted him, getting another satisfied groan from his lips.  Byleth fucked him, feeling absolutely full.  His claused archer fingers held onto her hips tightly.  Byleth leaned down after a bit and Claude used the opportunity to latch back onto her breasts.  Another heated orgasm slammed into her and again she screamed out.  This time Claude didn’t give her a second to catch her breath.  He pulled her onto her hands and knees and pushed in from behind.  He fucked her hard from behind until he reached his second orgasm and painted her ass with his seed.  They both collapsed onto the bed, heavily breathing.  Claude eventually got up first and cleaned off her backside.  Then he pulled her against him and planted lazy kisses along her jaw, cheeks and lips.  </p><p>Byleth felt so unbelievably pleased.  Her mind was floating with memories of the golden god which she now knew was Claude.  They had done this a lot before, if her memories were correct.  It made repeating this time a lot easier.  She didn’t know if he was the man she was in love with before but he was definitely a man she had been intimate with a lot.  It helped many of his previous comments make sense.  </p><p>“When I kissed you before...after you woke me up in your bed, I was having wonderful dreams of a golden god giving me intense pleasure. I now know those were memories of us.”  Claude’s eyes went wide but then he smiled.  “I don’t know what we were but I do know we did this… alot.”</p><p>Claude chuckled.  “Yes Beautiful, we did. I’m glad you remembered.”  He kissed her lips then started getting dressed.  “Do you recall anything else about us?”</p><p>“No, I’m sorry.”</p><p>“It’s alright.”  He leaned down.  “As long as I get to have you like this again. I’m sure everything else will fall into line.”  </p><p>Byleth wasn’t sure what that meant but at the moment she didn’t care.  Her body still hummed with pleasure. </p><p>“I need to get going. Do you need anything?”</p><p>“Just some breakfast but I can get it.”</p><p>“No.”  He said kissing her again.  “I’ll have some sent up. I’ll also send Lin to you. Stay here and rest. I’ll be back soon.”</p><p>Claude turned to leave but she called after him.  “Actually after I talk to Lin I want to go check on Felix and Sylvain. I also promised I’d have dinner with Dimitri.”</p><p>Claude cocked an eyebrow at her.  “Dimitri wants to have dinner with you?”  She nodded.  “Alone?”</p><p>“Mostly but I insisted Dedue eat with us too since he wanted to cook for me.”</p><p>“I see.”  Claude moved back to her and sat on the bed.  “Just be weary of Dimitri. He is mostly still his proper polite self but there is a darkness in him that can turn violent.  So far he seems ok around you, but I’m...worried. Just be cautious. Don’t let your guard down.”</p><p>Byleth smiled at the concern of his face.  “I can fend for myself, even now. Besides just because we slept together doesn’t mean I’m your responsibility.”</p><p>Claude chuckled.  “I know. I just worry. Take Raphael with you when you go. If you want him to stay he will but if you don’t that’s fine. I can send someone to escort you back or one of the Lions can do it.” Claude kissed her again then left.  </p><p>Byleth stretched then got up to get dressed. She then sat at the small table on the balcony, drank coffee and ate her breakfast while enjoying the warm morning.  </p><p>Linhardt walked in thirty minutes later.  Sleepy looking but appeared to have been awake for a bit.  He took his time approaching her on the balcony.  He glanced at her drink and made a face.</p><p>“I’ll never understand people who drink coffee. It truly is disgusting” he said sitting down and stealing a piece of fruit from her plate.</p><p>Byleth smiled.  “I believe we’ve had this argument before. Isn’t my rebuttal typically that tea is weak bodied and best suited for intellectuals who don’t need their minds stimulated while coffee is good for the strong bodied, it wakes up our useless brain cells.”</p><p>Linhardt smiled.  “I’m glad you remember but...do you recall my final argument on that matter?”</p><p>Byleth took a sip of coffee and closed her eyes trying to focus on anything swirling around in her memories.  She looked at Linhardt and smiled.  “Claude...he is your argument because he is both strong and unbelievably smart but drinks coffee.”</p><p>“Yes, so really you both just have poor taste.”</p><p>Byleth laughed, unbond.  It felt good.  She forgot how much she enjoyed Linhardt’s company.  </p><p>“It’s good to hear you laugh like that again. I honestly wasn’t sure if you could after everything that’s happened.”</p><p>“So am I. I just hope it lasts. I’ve been trying to ignore my situation all morning, especially since I found out about Mercedes.” </p><p>“I don’t blame you” he said, standing up and moving towards her.  “Keep drinking that awful beverage and enjoy the morning scenery while I examine you.”  </p><p>Linhardt grabbed the wrist of her hand that wasn’t holding the cup of coffee.  His magic swirled around her like a warm blanket softly brushing across her skin.  Byleth took another sip of her coffee, closed her eyes and just let her mind go blank.  She almost fell asleep but the mage’s voice kept her from it.</p><p>“Byleth I...apologize for not telling you about Yuri’s mark on your neck. The poor excuse I gave you two nights ago was true.”</p><p>“It’s alright. You were focused on saving me” Byleth said with a soft smile.</p><p>Linhardt looked...sad.  He reached out and moved his long fingers along her cheek.  “You are exactly the same as before, generous and kind. It makes me think that people are going to take advantage of you again.”</p><p>Byleth just stared at his face, trying to determine why he was saying this. </p><p>“Don’t bother denying that you are those things. We’ve also had that argument countless times.  Just...be careful, please. Don’t make any final decisions until you get your memories back.”</p><p>Byleth nodded slightly, waiting to see if he’d say anything else.  Instead he leaned his back to the balcony railing.  </p><p>“Do you think I will get everything back?” she asked.</p><p>“So far memories are returning to you. I doubt every small thing will come back but the important ones should...even the ones that hurt. What I am most concerned about is if you’ll remember your time with the Eagles.”</p><p>“I...I remembered one thing with Hubert.”  Linhardt’s eyes went wide.  “There was blood on one hand and dark magic in the other. He was speaking to another mage over my body. He mentioned that if I hadn’t been in love it would be easier.”  Byleth shivered at the memory.</p><p>Linhardt grabbed her arms and pulled her to her feet.  His arms wrapped around her form and held her against him.  “I’m sorry Byleth. Maybe my hope won’t come true.”  He pulled back to look into her eyes.  “If more memories return from your time with the Eagles, I can...erase them if you want.”</p><p>Byleth’s eyes went wide a bit.  “You can do that? I didn’t think you studied that time of magic.”</p><p>“I didn’t until you were captured. I needed to understand it in case we ever got you back.”  Linhardt kissed her forehead.  “You are my precious friend Byleth. I don’t want to use that type of magic but to erase such horrible memories from your mind, I will.”  </p><p>Byleth hugged him tightly, grateful for everything he just said.  “Thank you Lin.”  Byleth kissed his cheek then pulled back.  “I really should be going now. I want to check in on Felix before my dinner with Dimitri.”</p><p>“It’s not even lunch yet” Linhardt commented. “You should really rest more.”</p><p>“I know but that’s why I want to go now. I’m afraid if I don’t I’ll fall back asleep and miss my opportunity.”</p><p>Linhardt sighed.  “Very well but I’m coming with you. I need to speak with Annette anyway.”</p><p>“Alright. Let me get changed and call for Raphael.”</p><p>“Changed? What’s wrong with what you’re wearing?”</p><p>“I...I don’t know. This is my normal mercenary stuff. I’m having dinner with the leader of the Lions. Shouldn’t I be...dressed better?”</p><p>Linhardt stared at her incredulous for a moment then he laughed.  “I forgot about your teenager crush on Dimitri!” </p><p>Byleth felt her face flush. “I do not have a crush on him!”</p><p>Linhardt kept laughing.  “Oh my dear Byleth you definitely did three years ago. You were always a blushing mess every time he said something nice to you. It was so cute to see the Ashen Demon blush like that.”</p><p>“I did not!” Linhardt laughed harder and she walked away from him.  </p><p>Byleth opened her closet and notice a simple white spaghetti strapped dress that flared out at the hips.  She didn’t recall where she got it from but it was summery looking and nice.  She figured it would do.  The dress was also long enough for her to conceal a dagger on her thigh.  </p><p>--<br/>Thirty minutes later they walked into the Lion’s compound.  Annette greeted them at the door, practically throwing herself into Byleth’s arms and spilling out words of gratitude for being rescued.  Byleth returned her hug, then said she was happy Annette and Flayn were alive.  Annette continued her onslaught of gratitude until Sylvain appeared and whisked Byleth off to see Felix.  He wrapped a warm hand around one of hers and pulled her close to him as they moved.  He still appeared a bit upset after yesterday's events.  She thought this was odd since he usually bounced back very quickly.  </p><p>Before they went in the room that held Felix, Sylvain pulled her into another one.  His mouth suddenly crashed onto hers in a heated kiss.  His hands were on her body, roaming across the white dress. </p><p>“You look so beautiful today” he said between breaths.  “Please Byleth, let me have you again.”  Another deep passionate kiss.  “Let me show you how grateful I am for you.”  Now his mouth was on her neck.  “Let me love you. Please!” he said desperately.  </p><p>It took a lot from Byleth to press her palms on his chest and push him back.  What he was doing felt so nice and she lacked her normal strength.  When she finally succeeded he looked a bit surprised.</p><p>“Sylvain...do you...do you really love me?”</p><p>“Of course I love you Byleth” he said with little thought and tried to move to her again.</p><p>“No Sylvain. I mean are you in love with me? Yesterday you said there was someone you really loved. Is it me?”</p><p>Sylvain looked like he was about to say yes, but the words didn’t come out.  He tried again then sighed and sat down on a small cushioned chair.  He racked his fingers through his hair, looking defeated.</p><p>“No...I’m not in love with you Byleth.”</p><p>She moved over and knelt down in front of him.  “I know. What I don’t understand is why you are trying to get me to think you are.”</p><p>Sylvain frowned then grabbed one of her hands, rubbing the outside with his thumb.  “Physical touch kept sparking memories in you. I thought if we kept being physical together you’d remember everything much faster.”</p><p>“Why do you need me to remember so quickly?”</p><p>“Because...the woman I love...left.  She’s with the Eagles now.  It was after you were captured. I...I know this is selfish...but I was hoping you remembered her joining. I need to know why she left me!” he said desperately, suddenly clinging to Byleth’s shoulders.</p><p>Ingrid...he must be talking about Ingrid.  Byleth thought it was odd to see her with Dorothea, attacking the Lions and the Deer.  Byleth placed both of her hands on his cheeks.  “I’m so sorry Sylvain. I wish I could help you. I’d do anything to help you.”</p><p>Sylvain smiled softly. He leaned down and gave her a chaste kiss.  “I know you would, By. You are so amazing and selfless, not like the scum I am.”</p><p>He groaned and stood up, pacing back and forth.  “I’m such a fucking asshole. I was too busy thinking of myself, trying to make you fall in love with me just so I can figure out why the person I truly love, left. And then Felix almost dies…”  He groaned and grabbed his hair.  </p><p>He glanced up at Byleth then moved to her so quickly she stepped back as if she would be attacked.  Sylvain collapsed onto his knees in front of her and wrapped his arms around her legs.  He looked like a man so lost and desperate.   Byleth really needed to check in with her friends and stop worrying about her own situation.  She had no idea that Sylvain was in so much pain.  It had only been a few days since her return, but still...she felt responsible for not trying to figure out everyone's status, especially those she's spent time with, like Sylvain.  How was Claude, Dimitri, Felix, Linhardt and Hilda?  She'd spent the most time with them so far... </p><p>“Byleth." Sylvain said, pulling her mind back to the hurt man in front of her.  "I shouldn’t ask for forgiveness but I will anyway because I’m selfish. I really do love you but you’re not the person I want the most. And I’m not the person you love the most. I should be helping you reunite with them not fucking everything up.”</p><p>Byleth reached down and ran her fingers through his beautiful hair.  She knelt down next to him then hugged him.  “Of course I will forgive you. I know you didn’t mean any harm.”</p><p>“But I hurt more than just you…”</p><p>“I can only give you my forgiveness. You’ll have to ask the others yourself.”</p><p>Sylvain hugged her tightly.  “Goddess By, you have no idea how good it is to have you back. I missed you so damn much.” </p><p>They stayed on the floor for a while, embracing, until Sylvain finally let go and helped her to stand.  He took her hand then moved for the door but suddenly stopped and turned to face her. </p><p>“How did you know I wasn’t in love with you?” he asked.</p><p>“Well I…” Byleth bit her lip.  “I was with Claude and...the way he kissed me...felt very different from the way you did. I could feel his emotions with each touch of our lips. It made me realize you didn’t love me…”</p><p>Sylvain’s eyes went a bit wide then he sighed.  “So Claude kissed you?”</p><p>Byleth wasn’t sure how to read his reaction.  “Yes...more then once.”</p><p>Before she could say anymore, Sylvain practically yanked her out of the room and into the one across the hall.  Byleth was about to ask him to explain his reaction but her eyes fell on Felix and all thought abandoned her.  She immediately went to the swordsman asleep on the bed, his chest exposed with a bandage wrapped around it.</p><p>“I thought he was ok. I expected him to be in the training ground already” Byleth said.</p><p>Sylvain gave a dry chuckle.  “Trust me he tried to but the wound needs a bit more time to heal.  Mercedes had to cast a sedation spell on him so he would recover properly.”</p><p>Byleth reached out and pulled Felix’s bandages off.  A dark pink scar stretched across his chest.  She lightly touched it and Felix twitched in his sleep, still sensitive. No wonder Mercedes had to sedate him, it probably hurt.  Byleth moved her hand up to his long inky bluish black hair.  She ran her fingers through it.  It was so incredibly soft.  He must have been able to bathe this morning if it was this soft.  Byleth stared at Felix’s sleeping face.  None of the annoyed lines that usually occupied his features were there, just a soft expression, a chiseled sharp jaw and long eyelashes she had never noticed before.  Felix was beautiful, so damn beautiful.  She knew she shouldn’t but she couldn’t help but let her fingers trace along his face then down his neck to his sides and stomach.  Careful not to wake him she followed the lines of his abs then bent down and kissed his stomach.  She sprang back surprised at herself.  She looked at Sylvain who had a slight grin on his face. </p><p>“I have no idea why I did that!” she whisper shouted.  Sylvain chuckled but didn’t say a thing.  She sighed suddenly feeling so exhausted.  “Will he wake up any time soon?”</p><p>“I doubt it. At least not for another few hours.”  Sylvain moved over to her, a bit of concern in his eyes.  “Are you ok baby girl? You look pale all of a sudden.”</p><p>“I'm still exhausted from yesterday. I have dinner with Dimitri tonight so I don’t want to head back to Claude’s. Can I rest here?” </p><p>He kissed her forehead.  “Of course. Why not take the other side of Felix’s bed. There’s plenty of room.”</p><p>Byleth bit her lip.  For some reason she really wanted to sleep next to Felix.  “Will he be mad if I’m there when he wakes up?”</p><p>Sylvain chuckled again.  “Hardly. I’d be surprised if Felix is ever mad when he sees you.”  Sylvain moved towards the door.  “I’ll come wake you up in a few hours.”  He then waved a hand towards the bed and left.</p><p>Another wave of exhaustion hit Byleth.  She moved to the other side of the bed, took off her shoes and climbed in.  She caught Felix’s scent once she was under the covers.  Memories had been threatening her mind since she walked into this room.  They could wait until she got some sleep.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This chapter was meant to contain a lot more events but my chapters have been super long so I had to split this one up.  </p><p>Next Byleth has an unexplainable encounter then her dinner with Dimitri.</p><p>Thank you for reading and commenting!!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Letting Yourself Trust</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Byleth's visit to the Lion's compound creates more questions then answers.  She continues to runaway from her situation through distractions, refusing to let her mind focus on everything that's happened to her.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Byleth felt a warm body under her finger tips.  Her brain was too hazy with memories for her to compute who she might be touching.  Instead she was trying to push her mind back into the haze.  These were good memories.  Feelings of falling in love, laughter, passion, and bits of pain, but the type of pain that you knew you could get through because you had someone by your side that loved you unconditionally.  She desperately wanted to see their face, remember the voice, just anything to identify the person, but nothing stood out. </p><p>The body under her fingers shifty slightly.  An arm was at her back, holding her closer to bare skin.  It felt nice...maybe she should wake up.  Maybe the person that was touching her was the answer.</p><p>Byleth sighed, her eyes still didn’t want to open, but her body was sore so she stretched it a bit.  The person next to her didn’t really allow her move.  Instead she felt a hand on her chin, then warm lips brush against her mouth.  It surprised her for a second, but really she was too tired to be surprised.  She was not however too tired to return the gesture.  When they released her, Byleth was surprised to see the hypnotizing eyes of the heir to house Fraldarius.  Felix had kissed her...Byleth was not awake enough yet to digest this information.  It was also difficult to think about much when those eyes were so close to you.  </p><p>“Thank you” he said softly.</p><p>“What for?”</p><p>“You helped Sylvain save me.” </p><p>Oh...that must be what the kiss was for.  Although Byleth was pretty sure that’s not how Felix thanked people.  </p><p>“Does Sylvain get a kiss too?” she teased.</p><p>Felix scoffed.  “That asshole will get a punch in the gut then maybe a hug for saving me.”</p><p>Byleth bit her lip uncertain if she should laugh.  Felix was always hard to read when it came to the true meaning behind his words.  But there was affection for the redhead in there somewhere.  </p><p>“He was really worried about you. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen him so upset before” Byleth said.   </p><p>Felix shifted to sit up. He groaned a bit but sat with his legs crossed and looked at her.  “You don’t need to make me feel guilty about the punch. He is getting that no matter what. The hug though...he’ll know I’m appreciative whether or not he gets it.”</p><p>Byleth sat up to mirror his position.  She did her best to hold back any groans, not wanting to worry him.  She was still a bit sore from having her body electrocuted.  Felix’s eyes fixed on her outfit and Byleth felt a small blush coming on.  “Why are you going to punch him?” she said to pull his gaze from her body.  </p><p>Felix stared at her for a moment, clearly debating if he should say.  For some reason it clicked in her mind.  “It’s because of me isn’t it?” she deduced.  “You knew he was playing with me, trying to get me to love him so he could use the excuse to be physical with me in order to get me to remember everything.”  </p><p>Felix practically snarled.  “Partly, yes. The other part you don’t need to know.”  He ran his fingers through his long beautiful hair.  “So Sylvain confessed to you then?”</p><p>“Not at first. I realized it on my own yesterday, that any love he had for me was more like deep friendship. I confronted him earlier today when he tried to tell me he loved me. He confessed to it all being a method to get me to remember so he could understand why Ingrid abandoned the Lions...He must really love her to go through all of that.”</p><p>Felix sighed.  “It’s been a rough year for Sylvain. Losing you, trying to keep Dimitri and I civil, then losing Ingrid… Despite all that he…he still tried to be a good friend to me. But I’m still going to punch him.”</p><p>Byleth gave a little laugh she attempted to suppress.  Felix really cared about Sylvain.  It was cute.  Byleth touched his hand with a single finger.  He opened it up for her and let her slide her fingers to interlock with his.  “If you still feel the need to punch him, just do it for you, not for me.  Having someone care for me, even if it’s not true love, did help. He didn’t hurt me at all. I understand his actions. It must hurt losing the one you love the most, to see them but not be with them… I can only imagine how much pain that causes. I mean I...feel this extreme loss sitting in my heart right now. I hope I can remember who was the most important person to me when I was captured.”  Byleth hung her head, tears threatening her eyes.  “Goddess, I must be causing them so much pain right now. I just want to remember...I just want to find them. I want to stop hurting them.”  </p><p>Byleth was trying so hard not to sob.  The reality of her situation was finally hitting her again.  She felt like she was suffocating.  </p><p>Felix gripped her hand tightly then pulled it towards him so he could reach her jaw again with his hand.  “Byleth if they really love you they will understand. I can promise you that this is true. You won’t even have to ask for forgiveness. What’s most important is that you recover. You’re alive and back with us. That’s what matters.”</p><p>Byleth wanted to cry even more from his words. He was looking at her...in a way she couldn’t wrap her head around.  “How can you be certain?”</p><p>Felix opened his mouth then closed it.  He gently wiped away the few tears that escaped from her cheeks.  “If you can trust anything I’ve said, please let it be that.”</p><p>Byleth’s heart felt tight in her chest when he said that.  Felix was so great.  Byleth wondered who managed to claim his heart, although she thought maybe that hadn’t happened yet since Felix was very single minded in his goals...train constantly so that no one could beat him.  Whenever he did manage to fall in love, Byleth was certain he would use that single minded nature to love them with all of his being.  They would be a lucky person to have all of this beautiful man. </p><p>For some reason Byleth leaned forward and kissed him.  Felix cupped her chin, keeping her from moving away.  For a moment she thought he was about to tell her to never kiss him again.  There was such intensity in his eyes.  It felt like he was staring at her for a minute before his lips were on hers.  Goddess, kissing Felix felt amazing, firm yet passionate.  But despite how good it was, she was mostly confused.  Why did he return her kiss?  When Felix spoke earlier, he made it seem like the person she loved was not him.  Why would he kiss her if he knew she was in love with someone else before she was captured? </p><p>Felix didn’t linger too long on her lips.  He pulled back and examined her face.  She couldn’t tell what he was trying to find on her face.  Byleth wasn’t sure what to expect or do next.  There was this odd energy between them. </p><p>A knock echoed softly on the door.  Felix shouted for the person to enter.  Mercedes walked in.  She saw them both sitting on the bed and smiled brightly.  </p><p>“Oh Byleth! I am so glad you’re here. I wanted to check your condition as well.”</p><p>Felix turned to look at her.  “Did something happen to you?”</p><p>The concern in his beautiful eyes startled her.  “I...was hit with a Bolting spell.”</p><p>Anger flickered across his features.  “No one told me you were injured” he said coldly.  </p><p>Mercedes approached them and touched Felix’s shoulder.  “Annette healed her right away. We didn’t want to worry you. It’s important this wound heals” she said lightly touching the pink flesh.  Felix winced in pain and Mercedes gave him a know-it-all look. “Now relax while I check Byleth, then you’re getting another round of healing.” </p><p>Felix narrowed his eyes then crossed his arms.  Mercedes grabbed Byleth’s hand.  White faith magic licked along her body.  Some of the soreness eased and Byleth sighed. </p><p>“Byleth I...I feel the need to apologize again and to you as well Felix.”  The swordsman cocked an eyebrow.  “Running away like that when I first saw you again...leaving Felix when he needed my healing...I felt so ashamed that I did that.”</p><p>“Mercedes it’s ok. Claude told me what I did to you. Honestly I’m surprised you are talking to me at all” Byleth said softly.</p><p>“No...I thought I could handle it. Thought I had dealt with the most of the trauma of that experience, but I was wrong. I hated you when I saw you at the church, hated those memories that pushed forward instantly...but then...then you walked into the enemy’s hands to free Annette and Flayn, then you used your body to shield Annette from an attack. All the things I loved about you came back when I saw those things. It over powered every painful part of my torture that I associated with you. It made me feel...terrible that I reacted so poorly in the first place.”</p><p>“Mercedes, please I...I feel awful for having done that to you. I am so angry with myself that I could not fight off Hubert’s spell, that I did something so terrible to someone I care about.”</p><p>Byleth was about to speak more but Felix gripped her hand tightly.  She had no idea when their hands linked back together again.</p><p>“Linhardt and Annette explained to us that Hubert’s spell is not one that you can break with sheer force of will” Mercedes said.  “Byleth I know this is pointless to say but you really cannot blame yourself for anything you did under that man’s power. None of it was really you. It is better to just think of it as a nightmare. Any damage you see from it, you should associate with him. Hubert did this to me Byleth. Not you.”</p><p>Byleth wrapped her arms around Mercedes. She was grateful that the gremory returned the hug strongly.  </p><p>“Thank you Mercedes.”  Byleth let the woman go than got off the bed and fixed her dress.  </p><p>“Oh what a nice dress Byleth. Since when do you wear dresses in the day time?” Mercedes asked.</p><p>“Ah, I am having dinner with Dimitri this evening.”  She pulled lightly at the bottom of her dress.  “I figured he is important so I should look decent.”</p><p>Mercedes smiled while Felix glared.  “Byleth I don’t think Dimitri cares what you wear but I’m sure he will appreciate it. You look so soft and lovely.”</p><p>Byleth bit her lip not sure how to handle the compliment.  Instead her eyes moved to Felix who appeared angry.  </p><p>Sylvain walked into the room and the swordsman coiled his muscles ready to jump out of the bed and punch him.  Sylvain clearly felt Felix’s intention and took a step back.    </p><p>“Good to see you too Fe” Sylvain teased.  He held out a hand to Byleth.  “Come on baby girl. Claude is here to have a debrief with Dimitri about yesterday.  They sent me to see if you’d like to join.”  Byleth placed her hand in his and let him guide her out of the room.  “Felix wants to punch me doesn’t he?”</p><p>Byleth giggled.  “You two are so cute.”</p><p>Sylvain gave her an incredulous look.  “How was your nap with the broody swordsman?”</p><p>Byleth smiled, her face flushing slightly.  “It was good.”</p><p>Sylvain stopped and looked at her.  “What’s with the blush?”</p><p>“Oh uh…I don’t know. Felix just acted in a way I wasn’t expecting. He...he has been sweet to me lately. It...is surprising.”</p><p>Sylvain grinned then went back to guiding her along, not saying another word. </p><p>Byleth walked out onto the courtyard.  Two sets of eyes landed on her and she felt her face flush at the intense stares.  Claude was giving her his handsome grin and Dimitri was just staring at her.  The Lion leader shook his head and smiled.</p><p>“Byleth you look lovely. Will you please join us for some tea while we review yesterday’s unfortunate events?”</p><p>Byleth smiled and walked towards them, letting Dimitri pull out her chair for her.  She sat down and immediately grabbed a small little cake.  She was incredibly hungry.  She devoured her cake quickly then realized both of the guys were watching her.  She bit her lip and placed her hands on her lap, ready to listen.  Claude looked like he wanted to laugh but held it in.<br/>
-<br/>
Thirty minutes later Byleth was up to speed on everything that happened at the Church yesterday.  Apparently all sides lost some people.  It was such a big scene that it made the news, for once the Church’s influence was unable to keep the media at bay.  The blood bath was too great.  </p><p>Byleth sat in her chair, hands clenched together, eyes fixed on the table.  Maybe she was dead and this was her hell.  She’d been living nothing but a nightmare for so long now.  It felt like all of this blood was on her hands.  No matter how many times she washed it away, it just kept coming back.  Had her life been like this for the last few years?  Felix’s words flashed in her mind.  Apparently she had said to him multiple times that she wanted to go back to being a mercenary.  So why had she stayed in the gang world, so close to two of its leaders?  Something must have kept her here.  Was it the person she loved or was it something she was fighting for?</p><p>Claude lightly brushed a finger along her arm.  Byleth jumped, not realizing he was standing next her.</p><p>“Byleth are you alright? You’ve been very quiet” he said.</p><p>“I’m fine just...digesting all the information.”</p><p>“I understand that is a lot. I hope you do not feel responsible for any of this Byleth. This was just...another day in our world. Claude and I do our best to keep casualties low but the Eagles do not abide by our more...honorable methods” Dimitri said.   </p><p>Byleth nodded numbly.  She grabbed her cold cup of tea and drank it, the bitter residue laying on her tongue brought her back to life a bit.  </p><p>“So...what are the next steps?” she asked, trying to get their gazes off of her.</p><p>“Well Yuri freed you and he has a plan. Unfortunately half of his plan was yours. You knew how to take down Edelgard. It was Yuri’s job to free you” Claude said.</p><p>Byleth sighed.  She wanted to scream.  </p><p>“Don’t worry By. I’m sure we can figure something out without your memories” Claude reassured her.</p><p>“Edelgard is weakened. The loss of you and the Wolves is why Hubert did something so risky yesterday. She needs you Byleth. Claude and I will do everything in our power to make sure that does not happen. I know this is asking a lot of you but please make sure you are always with someone, preferably multiple people when you travel. Honestly I’d much favor if you just stayed in one place” Dimitri said.</p><p>For some reason this upset her.  Hot anger flooded through her body.  She needed to get away from here, needed to punch something.  Byleth stood up suddenly, gritting her teeth.  “I’m sorry...this is...all so much. Would you please excuse me.”  They both looked ready to protest, afraid she was going to leave the compound.  “I won’t leave. I just need some time to myself.”  Byleth turned her back on them and walked out without giving them a chance to speak.</p><p>-<br/>
A few minutes later she walked into the training room.  Byleth picked up a sword but a noise next to her caused her to swing.  A rough hand caught her wrists and she felt Felix’s breath on her neck.</p><p>“Tsk, you didn’t even sense me here? Something must be on your mind.”</p><p>Byleth’s brain buzzed.  How did she miss him?  “I was just testing you” she countered unconvincingly.  </p><p>Felix chuckled.  “And do you intend to train in your nice dress?”</p><p>Byleth glanced down then sighed.  Felix moved to a set of lockers.  He opened one then showed her its contents.  Byleth recognized her own clothes.  Thank the Goddess she still had a locker here.  Byleth ignored the part where Felix knew her combination and immediately pulled her dress over her head.  Felix’s face flushed as his head turned away.<br/>
His reaction made her want to laugh.  </p><p>“You can’t tell me I eventually become modest.”</p><p>Felix huffed out a laugh.  “No you don’t I...just wasn’t expecting it.”  </p><p>Byleth pulled on a black tank top and tight black shorts and paired her outfit with beat up black sneakers.  She turned around to see Felix stretching in the middle of the space.  </p><p>“Are you actually training?” she asked him.  “Or did you just need to get out of your room?”</p><p>“What a stupid question. Of course I’m training.”</p><p>“Did Mercedes clear you?”  He didn’t answer so...no.  When she got closer to him he threw her a sword.  </p><p>“I don’t think either of us should actually be doing this” Byleth commented even though she knew they both would anyway. </p><p>Felix cocked an eyebrow at her.  “Then why did you storm in here ready to punch something a minute ago?”</p><p>Byleth sighed.  “Because I am.”  She reached out and grabbed Felix’s shirt.  His body tightened for a second but he let her pull the cloth up.  His chest looked almost completely healed now, with light pink slightly shiny skin where the injury had been.  Byleth ran a finger lightly along the mark.  Felix didn’t flinch this time.  That was good enough for her.  She let the cloth fall from her fingers then walked a few steps away, turned back and took a defensive position.  Felix examined her for a second.  He looked like he wanted to ask her what was wrong but he changed his mind then took up a position.  Byleth smirked.  Felix was always so dependable and never pried.  </p><p>“I’ve only got an hour. Make it good Fraldarius.”</p><p>It was his turn to smirk, then he charged.</p><p>-<br/>
An hour and a half later, Byleth felt refreshed.  After she trained with Felix she took a quick shower, pulled her hair into a high ponytail and went to meet Dimitri back in the courtyard.  </p><p>The Lion prince stood at the fair end of the courtyard.  He was wearing a thin clothed white long sleeve shirt, and navy pants.  Byleth was impressed that he was so covered up in this hot weather and didn’t appear to be sweating.  She moved up to him but he didn’t seem to notice her.  Very lightly she touched his arm.  Dimitri whipped around and grabbed her hand.  It hurt for a second but upon seeing her he loosened his grip.   </p><p>“Ah Byleth were you standing there long? I apologize for not noticing sooner.”  Dimitri gave her a soft smile.  “Do you still want to have dinner? I understand if you just want to rest this evening. You have been through a lot. And earlier...”</p><p>Byleth gripped his hand slightly.  “Dimitri I want to have dinner with you, unless you have something you need to do.” </p><p>Dimitri pulled her hand up to his lips and kissed the back of it.  “I am glad you are here. Dedue should have dinner for us shortly. Can I get you anything to drink?”</p><p>Byleth frowned.  “I could really use some wine but I’m wondering if I should drink at all right now since we seem to be on high alert.”</p><p>Dimitri smiled.  “You are with me right now. You do not need to leave my compound unless you want to. If you’d like to drink you can stay within the safety of my home.”</p><p>It was Byleth’s turn to smile.  Dimitri was so polite and proper.  Being around him was always so soothing.  “Thank you Dimitri. I will take some wine.”</p><p>Dimitri moved over to the table and poured them both a glass of red.  He brought both glasses over to where they stood under a large beautiful bright green tree, that shaded them from the heat of the sun.  Byleth gratefully took the wine then savored the wonderful dry taste moving across her tongue.  She felt Dimitri’s eyes on her.  </p><p>“Um Dimitri you are staring. Did I spill some?” she said looking down to her dress.</p><p>“No, I apologize. I am just grateful that you appear to trust me.”</p><p>“Why wouldn’t I trust you?” </p><p>Dimitri frowned.  “Honestly after everything you have been through I am surprised you trust anyone.”</p><p>Byleth took another sip of wine.  “If I didn’t trust anyone...I think I’d go insane. But I will admit it is hard. I was struggling to trust everyone until Hubert’s attack.  Now...now I realize that I need to trust someone.”  Dimitri was watching her with an unreadable expression.  Maybe what she said just made it sound like she trusted him because she had to.  “Dimitri I...I will always trust you.”</p><p>His eyes widened in surprise.  “Why?”</p><p>“I...there is just something about you. Sometimes when I’m with you I feel like I can see your whole soul.”  Byleth reached out and lightly touched his hand.  “It’s so beautiful.”</p><p>Again Dimitri looked shocked.  “Byleth…”</p><p>Whatever he was about to say was interrupted as Dedue pushed in a tray of food.  A wonderful smell wafted to her nose and Byleth’s mouth started watering.  Dedue began placing dishes on the table and Byleth helped him.  </p><p>The three of them ate and chatted pleasantly.  Byleth was thrilled that in her absence Dedue had managed to start up a restaurant, the Golden Beetle, with Dimitri’s support.  The big man was not at the spot as much as he wanted to be because of the gang war and his devotion to Dimitri, so he hosted limited hours.  But apparently there were reservations books up to four months in advance.  Both Dedue and Dimitri were excited about the restaurant.  Byleth couldn’t help but smile as they talked about it.  </p><p>When they were finished and unbelievably full, Dedue cleaned up the plates and bid them good evening.  Byleth insisted that he stay but Dedue needed to go to his restaurant to prepare for tomorrow’s service.   </p><p>Byleth pulled her chair into a patch of sun that the copious amounts of trees did not cover.  She closed her eyes and let the sun wash over her.  She was content and happy and she would enjoy it for as long as she could.  The sound of footsteps approaching and the clanking of a chair, signaled that Dimitri had done the same.  They sat in silence for about ten minutes before either of them spoke again.</p><p>Byleth opened her eyes and glanced at Dimitri.  His right side was next to her so she couldn’t tell if his eyes were closed, the eye patch hiding her view.  Looking at it caused her mind to wonder.  Byleth stood up carefully, trying not to disturb him if he was resting.  She moved in front of him and confirmed that his eyes were closed.  Her fingers itched with the desire to pulled his eyes patch off.  She wanted to know what lay underneath.  But...he looked absolutely stunning like this, calm with his eyes shut, his jaw unclenched, his long blonde locks haphazardly laying along this face.  So beautiful…Byleth carefully reached out and moved his hair out of his eye.  An entrancing ice blue eye opened slightly.  When he confirmed it was Byleth he closed it again.  He trusted her...why did he trust her?  Wasn’t it only a few days ago he was suspicious of her, worried she was still entranced by the Eagles?  She became a bit bolder, stepping closer with her knees against his, running her fingers through the long golden locks.  They glistened in the sun, pulling her in.  Her eyes shifted to his lips and Byleth’s mind played back the brief kiss they had the other day.  </p><p>Was Dimitri her love or Claude?  Could it be someone else she had yet to consider…  Perhaps...Felix?  They had shared some rather intimate moments, especially for the swordsman who hated to be touched.  All she knew at this time was that her and Claude definitely had a physical relationship in her past.  Whether or not he was the person she was with before her kidnapping, she just couldn’t say.  Dimitri told her she was with the Lions at the time...Why would she be with the Lions if Claude was her true love? </p><p>Byleth’s mind had be wondering for a while as she played with the thick locks of the leader of the Lions.  Dimitri kept letting out soft sighs, enjoying her nails along his scalp.  It wasn’t until his knees brushed against her and his hand gripped her, did she realize she had been doing it for a long time.</p><p>“Oh! I’m sorry Dimitri. My mind was wondering. Was that too much? You...you just looked so peaceful and beautiful. Goddess, how rude I am to just touch you like this!” Byleth said, taking a step back.  Dimitri kept her hand in his grasp so she couldn’t move far.  </p><p>“It was soothing. I...enjoyed it very much. Please do not be embarrassed” Dimitri said.  “You’ve always been able to calm me. This is nothing new, Byleth.”  </p><p>Byleth read the truth in his eyes then let him gently tug her arm, so she was back to her original standing spot.  She reached out and let her other hand move along his eye patch.  “I never asked, but are alright?”  He nodded.  “This injury...did it happen before or after my disappearance?”  He hesitated and Byleth’s stomach went cold.</p><p>Dimitri stood up and cupped her jaw.  “Do not worry about my scars, please.”</p><p>His request was so simple and polite.  Deep down she wondered if she did that to him… Something must have happened to deepen his distrust of her while she was gone...was that it?    </p><p>“Byleth” he said, gripping her jaw tighter.  “I can see your mind wondering. Please stop.”</p><p>She felt her teeth dig into her bottom lip.  “I understand if you don’t want to trust me with this but...I hope you’ll tell me one day.”</p><p>Dimitri observed her face.  It made her flush hot, uncertain what he was thinking.  He was so close to it made her heart beat faster.  </p><p>“I will try” he said, finally.  “But it is not a pleasant conversation and I hope to only have good conversations with you.”  </p><p>His rough thumb brushed across her cheek.  “About the other day...I hope...I hope kissing you was alright. I...the moment just felt so right. My body was moving before my mind register what I was doing.”</p><p>Byleth gave him a soft smile.  “I...I didn’t mind it at all. I mean after what I said...you should know that.”</p><p>Dimitri looked like he was about to kiss her again, but they were interrupted by Rodrigue.</p><p>“I apologize Dimitri…” he said slowly, obviously a bit confused about the scene in front of him.  “Yuri Leclerc is here to speak with you.”</p><p>“Send him to my office. Do not leave him alone” Dimitri said, some irritation in his voice.</p><p>Rodrigue nodded and left.  Dimitri sighed.  “I know Claude says that slippery man is trustworthy for the moment, but I admit I am struggling.”</p><p>Byleth squeezed his hand comfortingly.  “I’m sorry. He is only here because of me apparently…”</p><p>Dimitri’s hand returned to her cheek.  “And for that I am unbelievably grateful. Having you back means...more than I could ever describe with words.”  His eyes watched her for a moment before he spoke again, his hand moving away from her face.  “I am happy we were able to dine together this evening. I hope we can do it again soon. In fact, I am hosting an event tomorrow night at my club. Dedue will be catering. Would you like to be my date? I’ve been so busy lately I forgot about the charity event, so I apologize if this invitation seems thoughtless. I...I would really like to spend more time with you Byleth. This evening was very enjoyable for me. I have always felt like I can be myself with you.”</p><p>Byleth smiled. “I would love to join you.”</p><p>“Are you sure? I know my club is not like Claude’s and you tend to be uncomfortable there.”</p><p>“No, really. A nice night out sounds great. I need all of the distraction I can get and I really love spending time with you Dimitri.” Dimitri smiled and Byleth felt her stomach flip.  Even with the eyepatch he was such a beautiful man. “Thank you for this evening. I really loved every moment.”</p><p>Dimitri’s eye sparkled with happiness. He stroked her cheek again and leaned forward slightly.</p><p>“May I kiss you farewell Byleth?” he asked softly.</p><p>Byleth’s body flushed.  She nodded and leaned up to meet his mouth.  It was chaste and brief but the sensation of his lips lingered on hers for a few moments after.  </p><p>“Shall I have a room prepared for you?”</p><p>“No, thank you. I am fine. I’d like to head back to my room at Claude’s.”</p><p>“Very well. I’ll send Sylvain and Ashe to escort you.”  Dimitri kissed her cheek then left for his office.  </p><p>Byleth brushed a finger across her lower lip, wishing for a moment he would kiss her longer.  Dimitri was just too perfect. She needed to remind herself that he was way out of her league. She needed to squash this ‘school girl crush’ as Linhardt called it. </p><p>Sylvain walked in, dressed for the club in black pants and an open chest white short-sleeved silky shirt.  “Hey baby girl. Are you ready to go to Claude’s?”</p><p>Byleth smiled and nodded. She linked her hand with the redhead’s. She was glad they had cleared the air between them. It was nice to know Sylvain cared for her, even if it wasn’t love. There was something comforting about holding his warm hands.</p><p>--<br/>
When they returned to the club, Byleth changed quickly and joined some of Deer and Sylvain at the club. She was surprised that Flayn was back to bartending right away, but the green haired girl told her it was a good distraction. She smiled brightly while she mixed Byleth’s drink. The mercenary envied her ability to bounce back quickly.</p><p>Byleth spent the rest of her night drinking and dancing.  The music and the lights were exactly what she needed to push her mind into a numb state where it only wanted to focus on the music and how she should move to it.  The haze that settled on her mind from the alcohol helped as well.  She was joined by Hilda, Sylvain and Claude who added to the list of distractions she was enjoying right now.  </p><p>Most of the evening Claude made it a point to be touching her, whether it was with a hand or his whole body when they danced to more sultry tunes.  Byleth loved grinding against him.  The Deer leader wasn’t as tall as Sylvain, so their bodies fit together better.  Plus Claude really knew how to move his hips.  He was so delicious with slightly sweat slicked hair, hot to the touch skin, sexy body movements and his eyes alight with desire.  He snuck kisses along her neck when the position allowed it, and Byleth let herself taste the skin of his lower neck and collarbone when she could.  When they grew tired of dancing they would move up to the suite, drink their drinks, and if alone, passionately kiss.     </p><p>Eventually Claude linked their hands together and guided her out of the club.  They didn’t even make it to one of their rooms before Claude had her pressed against the hallway wall, her legs wrapped around his middle and his cock thrusting up into her in heated bliss.  Their tongues danced together, trying to keep their moans from echoing to any occupants on the floor.  When her orgasm threatened to make her scream she got Claude to stop and carry her into his room instead.  He almost slammed her against his door.  It only took her a few seconds to let her scream out, pulling Claude along with her.   </p><p>Claude carried her to his bed where they continued kissing until they were both ready for more.  If this was what her evenings were like before she was kidnapped, Byleth could not complain.  Claude was amazing.  Everything he did sent fire through her body.  Byleth was certain she could kiss him forever and never grow tired of it.  </p><p>Byleth fell asleep that night, exhausted but pleased, wrapped up in the arms of a golden god.  Tomorrow she promised herself that she would really evaluate everything that happened since her awakening.  She couldn’t keep hiding from it.  She’d also petition to speak with Yuri.  She almost asked Dimitri if she could join him that evening but thought better of intruding.  Maybe talking with the trickster would trigger some memories.  But that was for tomorrow.  Tonight she’d savor in the delicious smell, taste and feeling of the Golden Deer leader.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The scenes between Felix and Byleth are just my absolute favorite.  I know I havn't done much with Dimitri yet but there will be more with him in the next two chapters.  </p><p> </p><p>Next Byleth is confused about a dream which offsets her day negatively.  It results in sudden distrust which makes her reality more of a struggle.  Poor Byleth.</p><p>Thank you for reading and commenting!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Betrayal?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Byleth struggles with her dreams, just to later struggle with more of her reality.  Her actions cause her to trust someone she never thought she would.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Betrayal...it enveloped her, engulfed her.  It felt like a hot burning substance trying to push its way through her body, choking her with regret and a broken heart.</p><p>Byleth’s dreams prior to this were filled with love, heat and the golden body she fell asleep next to.  Now they were this void of rejection, darkness and pain.  She felt so alone, so absolutely crestfallen.  Who or what was making her feel this way?  She heard herself shout out the words “You were just using me!” Saw pain flicker across bright green eyes as they poured out a stream of flowery words trying to convince her that it wasn’t true, that their feelings were real.  Her heart hurt...so much pain.  It was like someone ripped it out and wedged a stake into it, then left her to slowly bleed out. </p><p>Byleth felt someone grab her.  She struggled to get away, just wanting to be alone in her suffering.  They wouldn’t let her go.  She cried out, and the noise made her realize this wasn’t her current reality.</p><p>“Byleth! Wake up!”</p><p>Byleth opened her eyes to find beautiful concerned green ones staring back at her.  “Beautiful I’ve got you. Everything is ok.”</p><p>“Claude?” She wrapped her arms around his neck and held her close to him.  </p><p>“What’s wrong? Did you remember something painful?”  </p><p>Byleth nodded into his neck. He rubbed her back trying to soothe her but for once it did not work.  The pain she felt still throbbed in her heart.  The dream or memory...was it Claude that had hurt her?</p><p>She pulled back and examined his face.  “I...I had a memory of someone hurting me. They were using me and it broke my heart.”  Claude’s eyes shifted a bit in surprise, but maybe it was the darkness of the room.  Only moonlight streaming through gaps in the curtains provided any light.  She gave him a moment to respond but he did not.  “I think it was you.”  Byleth watched as every muscle in Claude’s body tightened.  </p><p>“Beautiful” he said softly, reaching out to stroke her cheek.  “I think this was actually just a dream. I never used you. I’ve always…” he bit his lip, deciding not to finish his sentence.  “Come on, it’s still night time. You should really get more sleep.”</p><p>“No” she said brushing his hand away.  “None of my dreams have just been dreams. You know that. Why are you saying this one is?”</p><p>“How can you be sure it isn’t a dream?” he asked cautiously.  “There is no reason you can’t dream just because of what happened, at least Linhardt didn’t mention it. Do you really think every dream you’ve had so far were always memories?”</p><p>This thought made her head hurt.  Was he right?  “But it felt so real...I was and still am in so much pain.”</p><p>Claude sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.  Byleth noticed the uncertainty in his eyes.  He was definitely lying to her.  </p><p>“Did we fight? Did you use me Claude?” </p><p>“No of course not! Byleth please. You said it yourself you didn’t know if it was me. Are your dreams always straight forward? You told me they bounce around a lot.”</p><p>Tears stung Byleth’s eyes.  Why couldn’t she believe him?  Byleth tried to get out of the bed but Claude pulled her back down.  </p><p>“Please you need to rest. Let’s go back to sleep. Maybe the dream or memory will become more clear with sleep.” </p><p>Byleth glanced back at him.  He looked so desperate, his grip on her almost painful.  Something wasn’t right about this.  Byleth shook her head and Claude appeared about to beg.  His grip on her loosened and he ran his hand up her arm.  </p><p>“Beautiful I…I don’t want to lose you again. Please I...Gods there are so many things I want to tell you but I don’t want to hurt your recovery. You said you trusted me, can you please do that now?”</p><p>Byleth bit her lip.  He appeared so genuine.  But this voice at the back of her head was telling her to run.  Her heart was also throbbing.  She wanted to crawl back in the bed with him, to wrap up in his amazing warmth  </p><p>She reached out a shaky hand and stroked his cheek.  “I...I just need some time to myself. Please understand.”</p><p>Claude leaned into her hand then gently pulled it to his lips so he could kiss her palm.  The gesture was so sweet Byleth almost changed her mind about leaving.</p><p>“Whatever you need” he said softly.  “Don’t be afraid to come back if you change your mind.”</p><p>And that made her want to stay even more.  With a lot of willpower Byleth left Claude’s room.  The second she got out into the hallway the pain in her heart flared back into life.  Something was wrong...Claude was hiding something.  She couldn’t shake the feeling no matter how much she cared for him.  Tears started falling freely down her face.  The feel of the hot tears made her angry.  She was so sick of crying.  She almost gave into her sorrow but she felt like she was being watched.  Byleth looked towards her door and noticed Felix sitting on the floor next to it.  His body was coiled as if he was about to attack.  </p><p>Byleth wiped the water from her face and moved over to him.  He didn’t say a word when she reached him.  She opened her door and motioned him inside.  Felix just stared at her for a few moments before rising up and entering her room.</p><p>“Why are you here? Don’t tell me Dimitri still has you keeping an eye on me. You aren’t fully recovered yet.”</p><p>Felix narrowed his eyes at the assumption that he couldn’t kick a lot of ass at the moment.  “I’m here because I want to be.”</p><p>Byleth cocked an eyebrow at his response not sure how to take it.  It was cold and straight forward.  He looked ready to punch something.  Byleth was not up for this version of Felix.  She let herself collapse onto the bed, her head in her hands.  </p><p>“Felix...do I have a room at Dimitri’s compound, or did I?” </p><p>“Not...exactly” he said hesitantly. </p><p>Byleth groaned at his unclear response.  “But I had a lot of stuff there...still do. Ugh...I’m so damn confused and emotional all the time.”</p><p>Felix was quiet, hoovering a few feet in front of her.  For some reason she wanted to reach for him, pull him to her even if it was just to sit beside her, their legs pressed against one another.  </p><p>Byleth considered her options right now.  She really didn’t want to be in Claude’s club anymore, but she also really needed to sleep.  She thought about heading to Dimitri’s but it was night time and therefore unsafe.  She also didn’t want to burden anyone.</p><p>“I need to get out of here” she said softly almost to herself, trying to weigh her options.  Byleth was surprised when Felix brushed his hand against one of her’s.  When she looked up at him she realized he was offering his hand to her.  He could take her somewhere…so she took it.</p><p>“Do I need to bring anything?” she asked as he started pulling her up and guiding her toward the door.</p><p>“Just grab your boots” was all he said.</p><p>--</p><p>Thirty minutes later they walked into a side entrance of the Blue Lion compound. Byleth followed after Felix, too tired to ask questions.  They walked into a room that Byleth knew immediately must be Felix’s.  The smell of leather and sandalwood made her think of him.  She glanced around the space that was mostly filled with weapons and whetstones and black furniture.  Even his bed was black with black sheets.  Leave it to Felix to go dark in decorating choices.  </p><p>“Take the bed, I can sleep on the chair” he said moving towards the space to undo his boots. </p><p>Byleth watched him, unmoving.  Unclear memories lingered in her mind.  This was not the first time she’d been here she was certain.  </p><p>“What’s wrong?” he said when she didn’t move for a minute.</p><p>“Nothing...just memories I can’t understand.”</p><p>Felix stared at her for a moment.  “Does it...help to talk out what you’re seeing?”</p><p>“Maybe...but I have no idea what that is. I can’t describe it.”</p><p>Felix stared at her again then stood up.  “You should really get some sleep.”</p><p>Byleth watched him move to the bed and grab a pillow.  She intercepted his movements by grabbing his wrist.  His eyes went a bit wide at the action but they softened when they looked back at her.</p><p>“What’s wrong?”</p><p>“If you’re uncomfortable sleeping with me I can sleep on the chair. I don’t mind.”</p><p>“Tch. That’s not it. I just want you to be comfortable.”</p><p>“Then stay with me” Byleth said before she could even think of what she was saying.  She brushed off her own surprise.  “If you don’t mind...I...like sleeping with you. It’s comforting.”</p><p>Again Felix just stared at her.  He kept doing that, like he needed a moment to figure out how to respond to everything she said.  It was kind of bothering her, and she was too tired to discuss it further.</p><p>“I’m not some weak child Felix. You don’t need to plan out all of your responses. If you don’t want to that's fine. You won’t hurt my feelings.” </p><p>Byleth turned to move toward the bed but Felix grabbed her wrist and pulled her onto the bed with him.  Not only were they both on the bed now, but Felix placed her against his chest. </p><p>“Felix, really I don’t need sympath…” Her sentence was cut off by a brief but effective kiss.</p><p>“Stop thinking I mind being touched by you. Go to sleep.” </p><p>Byleth wanted to protest but there was a certain finality in his voice that she couldn’t ignore. Instead she wrapped herself up in him and fell asleep.</p><p>--<br/>A loud banging echoed across a door.  Byleth jolted up but Felix beat her to the door.  He opened it up to see a concerned Dimitri. The Lion leader’s eye flickered to Byleth on the bed.  They went from concern to rage in seconds.</p><p>“Felix! You can’t just steal Byleth away in the middle of the night like that! No one knew what happened to her.”</p><p>Felix actually laughed.  “Guess I can go undetected by Ignatz” he said, pleased with himself.</p><p>Dimitri actually growled and dug a hand into Felix’s shoulder.  “That’s in poor taste and you know it. Everyone is up in arms trying to find her!”</p><p>It was Felix’s turn to growl and push off the leader’s hand off his shoulder.  “She’s with me so she’s safe. You know I would not let anything happen to her.”</p><p>Byleth moved to the two men before they could say anything more.  She gently placed a hand on Dimitri’s arm. “Please don’t be mad at Felix. I...I needed to get out of Claude’s place...I...well we had a disagreement and I just wanted to get out. Felix was helping me. It’s my fault for not telling anyone.”</p><p>Dimitri sighed and gently grabbed Byleth’s hand from his arm, holding it in his large one.  “Byleth this is not entirely on you. Felix knows better than to just run off especially after…”  Dimitri stopped his sentence and cleared his throat.  “You are too important. The Eagles want you back desperately. Running off in the middle of the night and not telling anyone...I beg of you both, please do not do that again.”   </p><p>Byleth squeezed Dimitri’s hand and she felt some of the tension drain from him. “I’m sorry Dimitri.”  </p><p>“You’re alright and that’s what matters. Now if you’ll excuse me I need to notify Claude. He is beside himself with worry right now.”</p><p>Byleth watched Dimitri leave and felt pure guilt hit her.  She worried everyone again...especially Claude and Dimitri… </p><p>“Ugh!!!” Byleth groaned.  “I can’t win. Every time I do something I always upset people.”</p><p>“Fuck them” Felix said distastefully.  “They are treating you like a weapon more than a person. If you want to leave in the middle of the night that’s your decision.”</p><p>“Felix?” Byleth said surprised.  “But if the Eagles catch me then I’m an enemy again. I’ll lose myself.”</p><p>“I know that Byleth but you are also a fucking person. You make your own decisions. Don’t let them make you feel guilty for trying to live your life.”</p><p>Byleth frowned.  Felix wasn’t wrong but she still felt guilty.  </p><p>“Want to spar?”</p><p>Byleth almost smiled.  Of course he would say that.  </p><p>“I do but I need to speak with Claude for a moment. Meet you there?”</p><p>Felix once again stared at her before nodding.  She felt her eyebrows come together in annoyance but didn’t point it out.  </p><p>Byleth wondered out of Felix’s room.  She needed to find a phone and immediately came across Rodrigue.  The older man cocked an eyebrow at her.</p><p>“Byleth my dear, are you leaving my son’s room in the early morning?” </p><p>For some reason Byleth’s face went bright red.  “Oh Rodrigue it’s...not what you think. Your son is so kind and was just helping me with something.”</p><p>Rodrigue stared at her for a moment, so like Felix, before a grin swept across his handsome features.  He chuckled.  “Not many people use the word ‘kind’ to describe my son. But then again you have always been able to really see Felix’s core.”</p><p>“Me? I have a hard time believing that. Felix has always been so guarded but if you mean we can understand each through our love of the sword then I guess I understand that.”</p><p>Rodrigue chuckled again.  “Byleth my dear it is wonderful to see that you have not changed despite everything.”</p><p>Byleth cocked an eyebrow at him.  She had no idea what that was supposed to mean, but knowing Rodrigue she wasn’t meant to know.</p><p>“I need a telephone please. Could you show me where one is?”</p><p>Rodrigue took her to his office and left her alone.  She was a bit surprised.  After what happened last night she figured Dimitri would have someone stuck to her hip.  </p><p>Byleth stared at the phone.  She really did not want to make this phone call.  She took a deep breath and called Claude’s club.  Leonie answered the phone and redirected it to Claude.</p><p>“Byleth? Is everything ok?” Claude’s worried voice said into her ear.  Byleth shivered at the sound.  </p><p>“Yes I’m fine I...did not mean to worry everyone. I honestly did not think about alerting anyone. I figured someone saw me leave.”</p><p>“Byleth you are alright. That’s all I care about. Although I might need to thank Felix for revealing a gap in our security…” He said the last part rather coldly.  He was clearly mad at the swordsman.</p><p>“Yes, I am perfectly fine but I...I have a request. I’d do it myself but I have no idea how to.”</p><p>“Anything Byleth.”</p><p>Byleth bit her lip.  Claude kept saying things like that… It made her feel guilty, cared for and absolutely confused. </p><p>“I need to speak with Yuri. Can you contact him?”</p><p>“Yes. I’ll have him come to the club.”</p><p>“Thank you but I...I’d like to meet with him in private if that’s alright.”</p><p>Claude was silent for a bit before slowly speaking.  “By, are you...sure you want to talk with him alone? That man is a snake pretending to be an innocent bird. I have no intentions of keeping him as an ally once we get everything we need from him. Dimitri feels the same.” </p><p>“I understand your feelings but I don’t think he will tell me everything around you guys. I have an inkling he’s held something back just for me to hear.”</p><p>Another pause from Claude.  “Alright but if you want to speak with him alone will you please at least do it here?” </p><p>“Claude...I don’t think Yuri will tell me everything at your place or Dimitri’s. I need to meet with him somewhere else.”</p><p>Another long pause, then an audible sigh.  “Very well but at least take someone with you to the meeting place. They can wait outside.”</p><p>“Alright.”  </p><p>“Byleth about last night…” Claude began.</p><p>“Thank you Claude but if you don’t mind I had a very rude awakening and I’d like to punch something. I’ll be at Dimitri’s until the meeting with Yuri, then I will be attending Dimitri’s gala this evening.  Can we speak tomorrow? I’d...like more time to process everything.”</p><p>Byleth knew even without seeing him that Claude raked his fingers through his hair right then.  “Anything for you. And Byleth I truly mean that. I hope you can hear the truth in my voice every time I say it.” </p><p>Claude hung up the phone before Byleth could respond.  It was probably a good thing since she had no idea what she’d say anyway.  She really wanted to believe Claude but that dream last night...those memories…she still couldn’t shake that heart broken feeling. </p><p>---<br/>Two hours into their sparring session, Byleth and Felix were once again interrupted by an angry Dimitri, but this time he had Claude and Sylvain with him.</p><p>“Byleth!” Dimitri practically shouted while approaching her. “Please tell me this is a lie. Please tell me you are not so foolish as to meet with that trickster alone.”</p><p>“Foolish?” Byleth said angrily.  She was just in a nice blissful unaware of anything but the way her body moved state.  She was so tired of people interrupting her all the time.  She turned to face Dimitri but not before glaring at Claude.  “As I explained to Claude I am certain there is something Yuri will only tell me in private. I do not care if you think this is foolish Dimitri. I knew how to take Edelgard down. Speaking with Yuri is the obvious next step in this scenario. I need to know everything he knows.”</p><p>Dimitri sighed and approached her.  He grasped both of her hands between his big ones.  “I must admit your logic is sound but is it worth risking your life? Byleth you have a terrible habit of logically making decisions that directly hurt you. You never consider your own well-being.”</p><p>Byleth was about to speak but she was cut off.</p><p>“He is right Byleth” Felix said. </p><p>She turned back to look at him.  An unsettling fear reflected in his eyes.  </p><p>“Please take someone with you” Felix asked calmly.  </p><p>Byleth was certain she sensed built up rage in the Fraldarius heir.  Apparently escaping with him in the middle of the night undetected was fine, but doing something alone was crossing the line.</p><p>“You are all way too protective of me!” Byleth shouted.  “I’m just one person. If Edelgard couldn’t take you guys down in a year with my help she certainly can’t do it now since she kicked out the Wolves.”</p><p>“Byleth you can’t underestimate Edelgard like that. Knowing her she probably has several backups in place if she can’t get you back” Claude said.  “Who knows, Hubert might have developed a worse spell for you this time.”</p><p>“No good can come from you being taken again” Felix said.  “Take me with you.”</p><p>There was a command in his voice that continued to piss Byleth off.  She pulled her hands out of Dimitri’s and walked over to the one person who had yet to speak.  Sylvain’s eyes were concerned but he flashed her a pleasant smile.</p><p>“Sylvain will you please accompany me to the meeting with Yuri and will you respect my wishes?”</p><p>Sylvain kept the smile on his face.  “Of course baby girl. I might play the role of dumb and inadequate but I can protect you.”</p><p>“Thank you.”  Byleth walked out leaving the boys behind while she went for a shower.</p><p>Sylvain glanced at the other three incredibly angry men in the room with him.  “You guys are really doing a good job of pushing her away” he teased.  </p><p>“Fuck off Sylvain” Felix spat.  “We can’t all woo women with our charms and somehow get away with lying to them.”</p><p>Sylvain smirked.  “I believe you already punched me for that and Byleth has forgiven me, clearly. Now I know the three of you all have your own agenda in mind but stop taking it out on her. Can any of you actually imagine even a bit what the hell she is going through?” </p><p>Claude scoffed.  “Because you can? Nobody has any idea what the outcome of this scenario will be. You tried to play her yourself.  Don’t go lecturing us now.”</p><p>“I backed away. I was honest with her when it mattered. I’m not the one trying to control her for selfish ends. I’m her friend dammit! Yes, what I did was low but I got out before I hurt her.  Am I the only one here just trying to be her friend? She’s an incredibly powerful adult. Not a child for us to babysit. You all know Byleth. The more you try to cage her the more she will run away.”</p><p>Sylvain took a moment to look at the other three before walking out of the room.</p><p>--</p><p>Byleth and Sylvain walked into Dedue’s restaurant.  They decided to have the meeting there as a more neutral spot.  Yuri agreed.  The lavender haired gang leader was sitting at the small bar,  with a martini in his hand.  Hapi sat next to him with a sangria.  So he brought someone too.  Sylvain slid next to Hapi, gave her a sweet compliment then ordered a drink.  Yuri glanced at Byleth then motioned for her to go into a private room, the door visible from the bar.</p><p>Yuri pulled out Byleth’s chair then sat down across for her.  </p><p>“Hello friend. I was wondering when you’d want to speak privately with me.” His eyes scanned her body quickly before landing back on her face.  “You didn’t want a drink? The big man knows how to make a cocktail.”</p><p>“My brain is addled enough at the moment.”</p><p>“I’ll admit that I am surprised you arrived with Sylvain. Seems like an odd choice when you could have brought your beautiful swordsman or one of the two tantalizing gang leaders.”</p><p>Byleth didn’t respond.  She just observed.  Yuri was always incredibly difficult to read.  Byleth tried to rack her brain to establish what type of relationship they had.  When she decided to just be a mercenary to the Deer and the Lions, she didn’t do it because of anything Yuri had done.  He was just too flowery, too well at orating.  Nothing he said ever sounded genuine so she knew she could never trust him.</p><p>Yuri ran a finger slowly across his bottom lip.  Byleth couldn’t help but watch the movement.  Despite all the bullshit he spewed, Yuri was incredibly alluring.  Beautiful but deadly.  Another reason she could not work with him.  He would probably smile at you and tell you wonderful things while he twisted a knife in your stomach. </p><p>“You’re awfully quiet friend. You called this meeting, so speak.”</p><p> “Tell me everything.”</p><p>Yuri smirked.  “That’s very vague Byleth. You should probably narrow it down.”</p><p>“Tell me everything about my capture. I need you to fill in the information I’m missing. I obviously knew some sort of weakness that Edelgard possessed. I need to stop her before they hurt more people the way they hurt me.”</p><p>The amusement was gone from Yuri’s face.  Instead there was a calculating coldness in his eyes.  He took a sip of his drink then plastered the pleasant smile back on. </p><p>“Do you recall why you have a hatred for Edelgard in your heart?”</p><p>“Hatred? I’m not sure I’ve ever hated anyone before. That’s an odd word to use.” </p><p>“Oh my dear you hate her very much. You hated her before you were captured.”  Yuri sighed.  “I’ve been told by that lazy mage not to tell you important things because it could affect your recovery but…”  Yuri leaned forward and placed his chin in his hand.  “What do you remember about your father’s death?”</p><p>This conversation was not going in the direction Byleth thought.  Hearing her father mentioned caused Byleth’s stomach to grow cold. </p><p>“He died during a mercenary job for the Lion’s, before Dimitri took over.” </p><p>“And…”</p><p>“He was murdered by a smaller gang, Those Who Slither in the Dark.”</p><p>“Don’t you think that’s a bit odd? Your father was the best mercenary in Fodlan. How and why did a small gang target him?”</p><p>Byleth furrowed her brows.  “It was because of what he had in his possession, Areadbhar. They tried to steal it and killed my father in the process.”</p><p>“And yet when he died they did not take the weapon.”</p><p>“That’s because Rodrigue and Gilbert were there. They were able to protect the relic.”</p><p>“Byleth...think real hard. Your father managed to kill three of them but Rodrigue and Gilbert were still outnumbered. Why not steal the relic?”</p><p>Byleth’s brain was starting to hurt.  She must have figured something out in the time she was missing.  “So it was a planned hit? By who?”</p><p>“Who do you think?”</p><p>“...Why?”</p><p>Yuri leaned back again and finished his drink.  “To get you my dear. TWSITD are really an offshoot of the Black Eagles. They ultimately have their own agenda but they are incredibly cruel and really just want bloodshed, not wealth. They have latched onto Edelgard because of her power and money. She finds them useful so she used them to kill your father hoping that you would blame the Lions and run to her. Don’t you recall the words she said to you at your father’s funeral?”</p><p>Byleth thought back.  Edelgard had said “Are you waiting for time to heal your wounds? Or have you curled up in a corner and lost the will to carry on? Will you just sit here with no thought for the future that is fast approaching? The Lions let you down. There is a choice to be made. I hope you make the right one.”</p><p>“She thought that would drive me to her?”</p><p>“Obviously your mind does not work like hers.”</p><p>Rage settled into Byleth’s being. She felt incredibly hot all of a sudden. She now understood why Yuri used the word hatred. </p><p>Byleth needed to focus.  “Alright so what’s the point in telling me all of this?”</p><p>“Almost no one can break out of the spell that Hubert used on you. You succeeded with just sheer force of will several times. However, each time you broke the curse you were extremely weakened and could easily slip back into the spell’s possession. To have that force of will requires strong emotions. I’m certain yours was a healthy mix of hatred and love.”</p><p>For some reason when Yuri said love, it made her feel a bit better. Even with everything she knew that Edelgard and Hubert had done, she did not think she could hate that strongly to break an unbreakable spell. The thought of anyone doing that frightened her. </p><p>“I came across you one day crawling along a hallway. Coated in sweat, feverish, just trying to claw your way out. It was the first time I saw you when you weren’t on a mission. I knew something was up when you joined the Eagles but that’s when I realized you weren’t there of your own free will. I helped you into a room and we spoke. I told you that was not the way to escape. We didn’t get much further before the curse took you back.  When I could I came to you, tampered with the curse and we talked. You told me what they did, what they took. We were never able to speak long or often but seeing you in that state made me investigate the Eagles. You weren’t the only one cursed. Too many of the Eagles followers are not there of their own will whether cursed or lied to.”  </p><p>Yuri sighed and ran his fingers through his lavender hair.  “I know I am not the most honest person and have my own deceptive tendencies but I would never brainwash someone into following me. My people are loyal to me and I to them. I will protect them like a shepherd protects his sheep. Edelgard does not care even a bit for her people. Whatever agenda she has, it’s for herself only.”</p><p>Byleth frowned, trying to take all this information in. The way Yuri was speaking was more raw and real than she’d ever heard. </p><p>“So you helped me escape because you wanted to spilt with Edelgard anyway?”</p><p>“Yes and no...I have other reasons for wanting you out of her hands, but it has nothing to do with you. I’m not going to lie to you and tell you we are deep and beautiful friends now. I just don’t want someone like Edelgard in our world anymore. She’s fighting on a whole other level. She’s a threat to my flock.” </p><p>Byleth sighed. She was getting more information from Yuri but nothing helpful. </p><p>“What’s wrong friend? Did you think I had some magical solution? If I did I would tell you. I’ll admit I’m not sure I could take her down on my own even with an obvious weakness. I need you to remember.”</p><p>“Great another person who needs me to remember.”</p><p>“Do you trust the Lion and the Deer?”</p><p>This question caught her off guard.  “In what way?”</p><p>“It’s a simple question Byleth.”</p><p>Byleth looked Yuri in the eyes. “Yes.”</p><p>“Then I’ll trust them too.”</p><p>Byleth wasn’t sure why he said that, but in that moment she believed him.  She really wanted to ask him more about what happened to her but she figured he wouldn’t tell her.  Maybe he was more like Claude and Dimitri then she thought. </p><p>“But my trust will only last if they equally trust you.”  Yuri leaned forward.  “I won’t help them if your trust changes. I know this is a lot to ask but you need to clear your mind before running into a fight with the Eagles and their allies. I won’t risk my people unless you’re certain. Might I suggest putting them into a tough situation, make them reveal something they’ve been trying to hide from you.</p><p>Byleth nodded in understanding, not really sure what else to say to that. She didn’t really want to test them. Trust shouldn’t work that way, but Yuri must have a reason for suggesting this. </p><p>“Well then friend. Shall we get a drink to our newfound partnership?”</p><p>The flowery language was back with the matching smirk.  Yuri stood up and offered Byleth his hand.  She took it and let him guide her back to the bar.  She noticed Sylvain’s eyes on her the second she emerged.  It was probably good she brought him.  The other three might have tried to get inside the room.  They were talking for a while.</p><p>Overall the only thing useful Byleth got out of the chat was that she trusted Yuri.  More allies was never a bad thing.  </p><p>Byleth sat at the bar next to Sylvain.  He wrapped a slightly possessive arm around her waist and pulled her against him.  </p><p>“Are you ok?” he whispered into her ear.  Byleth nodded into his neck. </p><p>Dedue placed an old fashioned in front of her at the bar then promised to bring her something to eat. </p><p>“Pretty boy” Yuri said to Sylvain.  “Can you get me a meeting with your master and preferably the Deer too?” </p><p>Sylvain flashed Yuri one of his handsome smiles.  “Depends if you can give me some information.”</p><p>“You know I can go around you for this request.” Yuri said, flashing his teeth. “Aren’t you just here playing guard dog?”</p><p>“Just play along” Sylvain said sweetly.  Yuri waved his hand.  “What do you know about the blonde that defected from the Lions?”</p><p>“Hmmm...ah you mean Ingrid. The girl who loves to stuff her face with meat. What exactly do you want to know?”</p><p>“Why she defected.”</p><p>Yuri grinned.  “Why do most people betray those close to them?” He gave Sylvain a moment to respond.  When the redhead did not he said, “money and love my friend. That’s the only reason people turn their backs on those they care for, money and the promise of a strong love.”</p><p>Byleth felt the tension in Sylvain’s body.  </p><p>“Are you saying she left the Lions for both of those reasons?” Byleth prompted. </p><p>“Mmmhmm” Yuri said before taking a sip of his drink.</p><p>“Who is the lucky man to claim her heart?” Sylvain asked as sweetly as he could.</p><p>Yuri chuckled. “Not a man my friend, but the most beautiful songstress herself.”</p><p>“Dorothea…” Sylvain said quietly before polishing off the rest of his drink. “Dedue can you keep an eye on Byleth? I need to make two calls.”  Sylvain said getting off the barstool when the big man nodded.  “I’ll set up your meetings.”</p><p>Byleth watched the redhead leave. She could feel his heart breaking. </p><p>“Poor Sylie” Hapi said.  “He is obviously in love with that blonde girl.”</p><p>Yuri chuckled.  “I am almost certain that blonde girl is in love with him too. Really I think she left the Lions for the hefty sum of money Edelgard offered her. Dorothea was just an unexpected bonus.”</p><p>“Why didn’t you tell Sylvain that?” Byleth asked.</p><p>“Because it will hurt less this way. It’s clear he never told her how he felt. If he knew she left for money he would blame himself for not trying to get her back.”  Yuri sighed.  “People in love are oh so foolish. Especially if they have no idea how the person they love feels. That’s why I’ll never fall in love.”</p><p>“Me either!” Hapi said, clinking her glass against Yuri’s.  “Although it seems some of us can use love as a powerful weapon.”  The redhead brushed her shoulder against Byleth’s.  “Isn’t that right Chatterbox.”  </p><p>Byleth just stared at her.  Yuri must have told Hapi his theory about how Byleth broke Hubert’s spell.  Hapi leaned forward in her chair, eyes fixed on Byleth. </p><p>“But if I could find a man like yours...hmmm not sure I’d be upset about that.”  Yuri flashed Hapi a glare.  “Oh right. You can’t remember who that is. That must suck.”</p><p>Byleth sighed and took a large gulp of her drink.  The Wolves would be very interesting to work with.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next up Byleth spends some time with Dimitri.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. The Desire of Years Ago</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Byleth attends Dimitri's gala just to continue struggling with her identity.  The gala does not end the way anyone wanted but Byleth gets to do something her past self always dreamed of.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Byleth had a surprisingly enjoyable afternoon.  She stayed at Dedue’s restaurant and helped him get set up to cater Dimitri’s gala.  The large man insisted he did not need help, but Byleth really wanted to do something productive.  She also didn’t want to answer a million questions about her meeting with Yuri.  Instead she sliced vegetables and chatted with Dedue and Ashe who also came to help out.  When they were finished the archer escorted her back to the Lions compound where Merecedes and Annette immediately pulled her into a room and started doing her hair and make-up. </p><p>Byleth was grateful that the two women mostly chatted happily to each other.  She needed some time to gather her thoughts.  She was about to spend the entire evening on the arm of the leader of the Blue Lions.   </p><p>Byleth wasn’t sure how to act around Dimitri at the moment.  He was being overly protective for someone who didn’t trust her a few days ago.  She was beginning to wonder if she should have accepted his invitation, but they had such a nice dinner together…</p><p>The girls finished her hair and make-up then pulled out a black dress bag.  Byleth hadn’t even considered what she was going to wear.  She thought maybe they went through her closest and brought her cream colored gown that Claude had bought her.  She was surprised when they pulled out a silvery halter gown with a low back.   </p><p>“Where did that come from?” she asked standing up to tough the silky fabric.  </p><p>“We picked it out. Do you like it?” Annette said</p><p>“I do but it looks very expensive. Please tell me you rented this.”</p><p>Mercedes giggled.  “Nope, it’s a gift from Dimitri.”</p><p>Byleth looked over the cloth.  This did not look like something Dimitri would pick out.  “Does he know what you bought? This seems a bit...out of Dimitri’s style.”</p><p>The girls giggled.  “We know but it is absolutely your style Byleth. We wanted you to be comfortable. Besides Dimitri needs a stunning date. We have no doubt you will be in this.” Annette said. </p><p>Byleth slipped the dress on.  It was oddly light considering the heavier look of the dress.  In the front, the dress had a deep V that showed the curves of Byleth breasts, but only a peek.  The back was completely open.  She was grateful the bottom flared out so she didn’t reveal every curve of her body.  The slightly fuller skirt also allowed her to conceal her two daggers.  She slipped her feet into small navy blue kitten heels then walked over to the mirror.  </p><p>“Wow...I didn’t know I could look like this…” Byleth said giving a slight twirl so the dress would flare out.  Somehow Byleth looked soft yet deadly at the same time.  Her hair was down in soft ringlets but her eyes had heavy liner but was matched with soft pink eye shadow.  Her cheeks were also a soft pink and her lipstick too with little bits of sparkles in it.  </p><p>“You look amazing!” Annette said happily.  “Now we need to get ready ourselves but Sylvain should be here in a moment to get you. He will be taking you to the party. Dimitri had to go earlier since it’s his event.”</p><p>“Thank you girls” Byleth said happily.  She stood and stared at herself for a while.  Had she ever looked this way before?  Actually put together and...pretty?  Was she pretty?  Byleth always thought of herself as hard around the edges.  She didn’t think she could look pretty but this…</p><p>Byleth heard the door open behind her.  She glanced in the mirror and saw Felix standing behind her, his mouth gapping open.  Byleth couldn’t help but grin.  </p><p>“You might want to close your mouth” she teased.</p><p>Felix glanced at her eyes in the mirror and quickly shut his mouth.  Byleth realized he too must be attending the event because he was wearing an all black suit, with a black shirt and tie.  Of course he would be blacked out...but damn he looked good.  The only thing was his hair was still up in it’s normal haphazard style.  </p><p>“You couldn’t change your hair for something like this?”</p><p>Byleth moved over to him and grabbed his hand.  She was surprised when he let her guide him to a chair and sat down.  She moved behind him and pulled the hair tie out.  The inky stands fell to the middle of his shoulders in waves.  Byleth ran her fingers through it a few times, enjoying the feel before she moved back in front of him.  He looked like her...somehow softer yet still deadly with his hair down.  It must be the stunning vermilion eyes and his cheekbones that kept you thinking he might night be a lethal killer. </p><p>“Have you worn your hair down before? It’s so beautiful.”</p><p>“Tch, no guy wants to have beautiful hair. And yes...I have but only a few times and not because I wanted to.”</p><p>Byleth smiled.  “Then why did you do it? Did you lose a bet?”</p><p>Felix looked at her a bit surprised.  “Yes...the first time.”  He stared at her for a bit before continuing.  “I lost a sword challenge. The winner made their boon that I had to wear my hair down for a whole day.”</p><p>“You lost a sword challenge? How could that be unless it was…oh!” Byleth said realizing it must have been against her.  Byleth laughed.  “I made you do that?”</p><p>Felix smirked.  “Yes, you did and I hated every minute of it.”</p><p>Byleth ran her fingers through his hair again, watching his eyes close slightly at her touch.  “And the other times?”</p><p>“I...was asked to and I couldn’t refuse.”</p><p>Byleth smiled again.  “Who in the world could Felix Fraldarius not refuse? I can only imagine because I know you would never do that for Dimitri or your father.”</p><p>Felix was back to watching her with an unreadable expression.  Apparently she was not getting the answer to this one.  She decided not to press.  Instead she pulled his hair back in a low ponytail, letting it loose in the front. She tied the tie back on then stepped back to admire his handsome face.  </p><p>“What about this? It’s not your normal style but it’s a bit more regal.”  </p><p>Felix glanced to the mirror.  “It’s fine.”</p><p>Byleth smirked.  “Do you hate it? Do you just want to put it back the way it was?”</p><p>Felix grabbed her hand as it moved toward the tie.  He stood up, slightly brushing his body against hers.  “Do you like it, Byleth?”</p><p>She smiled nervously, his closeness overwhelming her a bit.  “I do but you are good looking no matter what. I just want you to feel comfortable.”</p><p>Felix smiled.  “Good-looking huh?”</p><p>Byleth felt her face flush a bit.  Why was he still so damn close?  “You heard me. Have I never told you that?”</p><p>Felix turned, let go of her hand then reached up to push a few loose strands from her face.  “Possibly, but there was another word you preferred when complimenting me.”</p><p>Byleth knew she was blushing now.  Oh Goddess what embarrassing thing did she used to say to him?  Her mind filled with several complimentary words and landed on sexy.  Yep Felix was just all-around sexy.  Those alluring eyes, his handsome face, his voice, his dark and mysterious personality, his blunt and honest nature, his beautiful rare smile, the way he moved when they fought, hell every movement he made when they weren’t fighting; it was all so damn sexy.  When did she start thinking this way about Felix?  Sexy was a very specific word.  It was hard to apply it to someone that you had never slept with.  It was a word she’d use to describe Claude and Sylvain, but that’s because she’d seen all of them.  Every part of their skin, every movement their muscles made while fucking, every touch of their fingers and lips… </p><p>Byleth bit her lip and looked up at Felix.</p><p>“Wanna give it a guess?” he teased, amusement flickering across his face.</p><p>Byleth bit her lip harder and shook her head.  </p><p>Felix chuckled.  “I think you figured it out.”</p><p>Images flashed through her mind as her heartbeat raced.  She couldn’t see them clearly but they seemed heated, passionate.  Byleth desperately wanted to dive deeper but she couldn’t.  Pain shot through her skull and she gasped out.  Felix’s rough hands gripped her bare arms, bringing her back to the present. </p><p>“Byleth are you alright?”  She nodded against his chest.  “I’m sorry. Did something I say hurt you?”  </p><p>Byleth shook her head, wanting nothing more than to remain leaning against him for a while.  Felix guided her to sit then ran a finger lightly across her face, as if to examine her state of being but afraid he’d hurt her.  </p><p>Byleth watched his concerned vermilion eyes and wondered if anything had ever happened between them.  They would be a compatible match the more she thought about it.  They were so similar, so like minded.  If nothing had happened between them they were at least extremely close friends.  She felt so comfortable around him, so like herself more than with anyone else. </p><p>“Why can I breathe easier when you’re next to me?” she heard herself ask quietly. </p><p>Felix’s eyes widened a bit at the question, then they softened considerably. </p><p>“I’m not sure...I never thought about it before. But I know it’s been like that for a long time.”  He hesitated, his eyes dancing across her features, clearly still concerned she might not be alright.  “Byleth I…”  He stopped his sentence and bit his bottom lip slightly.  “You are...and have been...one of the most important people to me.  Even with how little you remember you must know that’s a big deal for me. So...maybe that’s why we are so comfortable around each other...because I...I don’t hold up walls against you and you don’t hold up any against me.” </p><p>“And we are similar in so many ways” she added.  Felix smiled slightly and nodded his head.<br/>
A knock echoed on the door and Felix went to get it.  Byleth heard him talking to someone then he returned to her.</p><p>“Are you alright? Our ride is ready to take us to the gala.”</p><p>“Yes I’m fine but I thought Sylvain was to escort me.”</p><p>Felix frowned.  “Am I not good enough to do so?”</p><p>Byleth laughed at his competitive nature.  “I just want to know that he is alright.”</p><p>“He...needs some time. We will see him later.”</p><p>Byleth frowned.  Sylvain must be struggling with what Yuri said earlier.</p><p>Byleth’s heart stopped when she felt Felix’s hand move up her right leg.  It stopped along the bands of her dagger holster.  Byleth looked up at him.  He was smiling.</p><p>“Some things don’t change.”</p><p>“You really do know me so well.”</p><p>Felix grinned then handed her a small box she hadn’t even seen him carry in.  Byleth opened it and saw a beautiful navy and silver dagger.  It did not look brand new but it was stunning either way.  </p><p>“It’s yours. I...gave it to you as a birthday gift two years ago. I’ve been holding on to it since your capture, hoping I could give it back to you one day. Now...seemed like a good time.”</p><p>Byleth picked up the dagger and held it in her hand.  “You give this back to me at the worst time! You must know how much I want to try it out.”</p><p>Felix chuckled.  “You can do that later. We need to get going.”</p><p>Byleth pulled her dress up and removed the old black dagger she had on her leg and replaced it with the one Felix gave her.  It snapped into place.  When Byleth stood back up again she barely felt the weapon resting against her flesh.  It was perfect… Byleth glanced at Felix.  She wanted to say something more than thank you but it was the only words she could get out.  He held out an arm for her to hold then guided her out of the room. </p><p>--</p><p>Byleth and Felix walked into the large beautiful ornate entrance way of Dimitri’s club.  A small crowd was gathered in front of the Lion prince.  Dimitri stood in all his handsome glory in a navy blue fit to perfection suit with black accents on the collar and tie.  His shiny blonde hair was pulled back away from his face besides a few stray strands that were too short to stay.  The black eye patch was in place hiding one of his beautiful ice blue eyes.  A pleasant smile was plastered on his face as he greeted his guests.  He was taller and broader then most of them so the prince was hard to miss.  </p><p>Despite how good she felt in the stunning dress and beautifully done hair and make-up, Byleth still did not feel like she could stand by Dimitri and do him justice.  He was just on another level from anyone she knew.  Although Felix was incredibly handsome and sexy she somehow felt right on his arm, like they were of the same world.  The idea of trying to live up to Dimitri’s standards was a bit overwhelming.  </p><p>Felix noticed her hesitancy and held her back.  “Are you alright? You seem tense.”</p><p>Byleth frowned.  Of course Felix noticed that.  He noticed every little change in a person as a result of his intensive training. </p><p>“I’m fine. Just trying to gather up the strength to spend the evening on the arm of one of the most important men in Foldan. It’s a bit...daunting.”  Byleth let out a nervous laugh.  “A mercenary isn’t really meant for such a thing.”</p><p>“You don’t think you’re worthy of standing next to him? Byleth that man is a boar, a monster with a pleasant face. He is the one not worthy of you.” </p><p>“What?” Byleth asked in surprise.  “Why are you saying that? Dimitri has always been nothing but pleasant and caring towards me. I’ve never seen any semblance of cruelty.”</p><p>Felix’s eyes darkened.  “Byleth I know how he can be. You weren’t here this last year. You weren’t around him after we got revenge for Duscur. Dimitri has a twisted cruel dark side. He can usually hold it in check but…”  Felix cupped her chin.  “You should never completely let your guard down with him Byleth. The smallest thing can make him snap if he is already on edge.”</p><p>Byleth wanted to argue but what did she really know?  She was still missing memories…  Instead she stayed quiet until Felix let her go and they moved back together into the line.</p><p>Dimitri gave her a warm smile when it was their turn.  “Byleth my dear you look stunning. I’m not sure I deserve to have you on my arm.”</p><p>He kissed her hand which Byleth was grateful for because it gave her a moment to shake the blush from her face. </p><p>“I have more guests to greet then I will be by your side the rest of the evening. I apologize.”</p><p>“It’s alright. I’ll just stay with Felix.”</p><p>Dimitri’s expression darkened a second when he looked over the swordsman. “Where is Sylvain?”</p><p>“He’ll be here later. He asked me to take his place.”</p><p>Dimitri pursed his lips then nodded.  He turned back to Byleth and gave her another apology before Felix guided her into the large open ballroom space.  </p><p>“Sylvain isn’t in trouble is he?” Byleth asked, after the confusing exchange.</p><p>“No but he is not on Dimitri’s good side at the moment.”</p><p>“And you?”</p><p>Felix scoffed.  “I’m never on his good side and I prefer it that way.”</p><p>“I thought you two used to be very good friends.”</p><p>“When we were younger, before Duscur, before….”</p><p>Byleth gripped his arm to show her support of the memory Felix was about to say, before he lost his brother.  </p><p>They made their way into the grand space.  Felix gave polite nods to those who greeted him but he never stayed to chat.  Instead he guided them over to the bar where he ordered Byleth an old fashioned and himself, a pour of quality whiskey neat.  They then moved off to the side, mostly away from the crowds.  Felix looked so uncomfortable here.  Byleth knew he hated this stuff.</p><p>“Felix I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring up...well you know and I’m also sorry if you’re only here to escort me. I know how much you hate these kinds of events.”</p><p>“Don’t you get tired of apologizing all the time?” Felix said after taking a sip of his drink.</p><p>Byleth made to speak but a memory flashed in her mind.  Felix had asked her this before…  He said it with mirth in his voice as if he was teasing her.  And her response was… “Don’t you get tired of being an asshole all the time.”</p><p>Felix’s eyes went wide at her response.  Byleth smiled.  “I remember that conversation.”</p><p>Felix gripped her arm.  “How much of it exactly?”</p><p>“Just that quip and the fact that you were teasing me when you asked it.”</p><p>“You don’t remember where we were, what we were doing?” he asked eagerly.</p><p>Byleth closed her eyes.  All she could remember was laughing and feeling happy.  And maybe...a couch...dark furniture.  </p><p>“Were we in your room? On your couch?” Felix nodded.  “So I have been there before! I thought so after last night.” Felix was just staring at her as if he was waiting for more.  “I’m sorry Felix that’s all I remember.”  </p><p>He sighed and took another sip of her drink.  Byleth reached out and lightly ran her fingers along his arm.  Felix watched her intently but didn’t speak a word. </p><p>“Have you...ever talked to me about…Glenn?”  Byleth bit her lip.  This felt wrong to ask but she couldn’t stop herself.  </p><p>“Yes. Why?”</p><p>Something was clicking in her brain but she was unable to focus on it.  Instead the sweet face of Ashe drew her attention.</p><p>“Byleth you look stunning” the archer said with his pleasant smile.  “I’m sorry to interrupt but the party is about to start. Dimitri requests that you walk in with him and have the first dance.”  </p><p>Byleth nodded her understanding.  Before she walked away, Felix grabbed her hand and kissed the outside.  </p><p>“Save me a dance” he more commanded then requested.  </p><p>Byleth smiled and nodded then let Ashe guide her to Dimitri.</p><p>Walking into a large crowd of people on the arm of one of the most powerful men in Fodlan was incredibly nerve racking.  Byleth did her best to keep a pleasant smile on her face and keep from looking at one person too long.  She absolutely hated this.  Why did she agree to it again? The second Dimitri pulled her close to him for their first dance she remembered.  </p><p>Dimitri smiled at her warmly as he guided her through the type of dancing you only ever saw in movies.  But that was just the type of world Dimitri grew up in.  Byleth was surprised she could keep up with him.  But it was probably more him leading then her actually knowing the steps.<br/>
Still the center of attention, Byleth hardly noticed anymore now that Dimitri was holding her, smiling at her like she was the only person in the room, and dancing with her to such a beautiful song played by the small band.  It was a nice moment that she wanted to sink in.  She could hardly hear Felix’s warning about Dimitri being a boar when he just looked the picture perfect prince.  Her stupid heart kept beating faster as well as a result of her crush on him.  </p><p>The first song ended but they stayed out of the dance floor for the next, other couples now joining them.  </p><p>“It seems you have not forgotten the lessons I taught you” Dimitri said.</p><p>“Oh? You taught me these dances?” Byleth asked, wishing she could remember.</p><p>“Yes. You accompanied me to another gala of mine two years ago. You almost did not join me, afraid of not knowing the dance steps. I offered to teach you so you conceded to my invitation.”</p><p>Byleth smiled. It was hard not to when Dimitri did.  “Did I embarrass myself then as I’m sure to be doing now?”</p><p>Dimitri chuckled.  “No. You were just as elegant then as now. Although this dress…” he said shifting back to glance at her body.  “This dress does not compare to that one. This is much more you then the more standard ballgown you wore before.”</p><p>“A ballgown? Really?”</p><p>Dimitri chuckled again.  “Yes and you were incredibly beautiful in it. But I knew you disliked it. I’m glad Annette and Mercedes picked something more to your taste this time.”</p><p>Byleth tried to ignore all the compliments he kept giving her. It was too much to hear from him.  </p><p>They finished their dance then Dimitri escorted her over to the food tables, where they sampled some items together and chatted with some of Dimitri’s high powered guests.  It felt wonderful to be in the prince’s company but this type of event still made her uncomfortable.  She had no idea how to speak with these people.  Instead she smiled pleasantly and laughed when everyone else did.  </p><p>Occasionally her eyes sought out Felix.  He was usually with one of the Lions, barely speaking, a drink in his hand and his eyes on her.  She’d always give him a little smile which would cause him to look away from her.  She was jealous of his relative solitude in such a crowd of people.  </p><p>Right now however, when she looked at Felix it was to see the leader of the Wolves speaking with him.  Felix’s eyes looked angry but he was listening intently to whatever Yuri had to say.  She was about to excuse herself to find out but Dimitri decided to pull her into another dance.  </p><p>“Do not be alarmed but apparently another gang group is near our location” Dimitri said after he pulled her tight against him and leaned down to whisper this information in her ear.</p><p>“Who is it?”</p><p>“Those Who Slither in the Dark. Rodrigue spotted them and sent Sylvain and Gilbert and some others to investigate.”  </p><p>“What should we do?”</p><p>“Remain here and pretend like we do not know anything. Yuri has his Wolves camped around this building and Claude has some of the Deer on the roof.  My people are mostly inside here with us. Yuri just claimed Felix to do perimeter walks with him and I will keep you next to me in case their target is you.”   </p><p>“Do you trust the Wolves?”</p><p>Dimitri stared at her for a moment.  “Do you?”  Byleth nodded.  “Then I will try but I find Yuri’s character incredibly untrustworthy. But at the moment he seems hellbent on assisting you and I can find no fault in that.”  Dimitri shifted back and lightly brushed a finger across her cheek.  “He is responsible for your freedom and I feel as though I am in his debt. Byleth...to have you back with me...I am beginning to feel more myself again.”</p><p>Byleth felt hot, so close to the leader of the Lions.  His sweet words, his caring expression, she couldn’t help but feel a bit embarrassed.    </p><p>“Byleth you are warm. Are you alright?” Dimitri asked.</p><p>Byleth nodded but was grateful when Dimitri apparently did not believe her and guided her off the dance floor.  She took a deep breath and tried to focus her mind.  TWSITD were nearby.  It had to be because of Edelgard.  Byleth did not like hiding away when her enemy was planning an attack.  It made her jittery.  Byleth let her eyes scan the event, every face, every shadow, every movement.  Dimitri was a looming shadow behind her, one hand on her arm, keeping her back against his chest.  Occasionally Byleth noticed Felix or Yuri making their rounds.  Every time either or of them noticed her gaze they would shake their head slightly...nothing. </p><p>Ashe appeared next to them and whispered something in Dimitri’s ear.  He regrettably excused himself and left her with Ashe.  </p><p>“Gilbert and Sylvain were attacked. They are both fine and managed to chase the gang past our territory line” Ashe reported.</p><p>“So is the threat gone?” Byleth asked.</p><p>“It’s hard to tell” Ashe said.  “It seems strange that they would just tease us like this.”</p><p>“It’s a distraction.”</p><p>“Most likely.”</p><p>“We need to make it seem like we are no longer concerned.  Felix and Yuri need to stop their patrol and Dimitri needs to go back to mingling with his guests.  Whatever they plan to do it won’t happen with us on high alert.”</p><p>Ashe nodded in agreement then left her side.  Byleth felt Felix’s eyes on her again.  She gave him a come together motion that he somehow understood as “act natural”.   Felix moved toward Annette and Mercedes.  He must have asked Annette to dance because they were both out of the dance floor a few moments later.  Mercedes was glancing at Byleth.  That meant the two girls also knew something was up.  The silvery haired woman made her way to Byleth, where they linked arms and began to chat about nothing in particular, occasionally whispering things to each other.  </p><p>“Surprised to see you without a man on your arm” the smooth voice of the Wolves’ leader said next to Byleth’s ear.  She almost jumped.  “Care to dance?”</p><p>Byleth took Yuri’s hand and let the handsome man guide her to the dance floor.  Yuri apparently cared little for standard dancing posture, instead he held Byleth close against him, their legs partially tangled and his hands on her bare back.  </p><p>“You look delicious in this gown my friend. So much so that I wish we weren’t just friends” Yuri said with a heated wink.  </p><p>Byleth almost grinned.  She actually enjoyed Yuri’s teasing nature.  He was a lot like Claude, a man of power who knew how to relax and enjoy life.  Only difference was Claude wasn’t a sexual deviant and he had the ability to love.  Byleth wasn’t sure Yuri could actually love someone.  </p><p>“I’m not the only one who looks like something that could be eaten” Byleth said, taking in his tight black pants and silvery tunic with a dark purple cape.  His chest was a bit exposed, which added to how different he looked from everyone else.  It was obvious Yuri did not care about the dress code for such an event. </p><p>Yuri smirked and somehow pulled her tighter against him.  “You know Byleth I’ve been thinking.  Maybe I am doing all of this for you a little bit.”</p><p>“Oh? And what does that mean? I thought our partnership was all about what you and your flock need.”</p><p>Yuri shifted forward so his lips brushed along her neck.  He didn’t press down, just teased.  Byleth caught the smell of his collagen.  It was sweet and rich and it made you want to lean closer to smell more of it.</p><p>“I’d like to offer you something I don’t offer many people.”</p><p>“And what’s that?” Byleth asked, trying to ignore how much this man was adding to the heat in her body that Felix and Dimitri already stirred up in her so far today.  </p><p>“Myself” he said as he traced the tip of his nose along her earlobe, his breath dancing across her neck.  </p><p>“I’d get all of you?” she asked, again trying to focus.</p><p>“My body at least. I don’t think you need love right now, just someone who can fuck the hell out of you, give you so many orgasms you lose count, and won’t try to steer you into their needs or plans.”</p><p>Byleth shivered at the thought of Yuri’s skin on hers and the many orgasms she was sure he could give her.  “According to the rumors, lots of women have had you. You make this proposition sound like it’s something rare.”</p><p>Yuri smiled.  “That is true but I meant we could have each other, solely, for awhile. I think we’d make excellent bedroom partners. I’ve never had a woman before that could kick the shit out of me, especially one so striking. I’ll be honest, I’ve always wanted you in my bed but all these Deer and Lion pests were constantly swarming around you. Now your memories are warped and you have no idea who to tie yourself to. I figure we can help each other out.”  This time Yuri kissed her neck.  “I’ll give your mind the time you need to remember who your true love is. I won’t lie to you or try to use you for anything but pleasure. Making new intense memories with me, might help flush out all those repressed ones. Really we’d be helping each other.”</p><p>“Why do you think I need help or a relationship like that?”</p><p>“No one needs a relationship like that, but everyone wants one. No strings attached, heavy heated fucking. If people say they don’t want that, they are lying.”  One of his hands ran across her bare back.  “As for helping you, it’s clear you have no idea who you’re supposed to be with. The closest men in your life may not be telling you exactly what type of relationship you had with them, or breaking Linhardt’s rules, but they are also trying to get what they want from you.  It may not be intentionally but they are using the situation to get what they want. In which they’ve all lied to themselves in that they think what they want is best for you. I’m positive the second you remember who you were with when you vanished, you’ll go right back to that person.  Not because you’ll feel obligated, but because you know you belong with them.  In the meantime, the others will fuck with you and hope somehow they can get you no matter what your memories reveal.”</p><p>Byleth watched Yuri’s face.  He wasn’t lying to her.  Everything he just said he believed.  That must be why he was questioning her about trust.  He thought the people she cared about were messing with her emotions.  His proposition made sense in a way, but he must know she couldn’t do it.  No matter how tempting the idea of being with a well known sexual god was, she couldn’t do it.  She wanted to sleep with people she genuinely cared for.</p><p>Byleth was about to speak but Yuri placed a finger on her lips.  “Think about it my dear. No need to respond now. We are still under attack afterall.”</p><p>Byleth felt her body tighten.  “What do you see?”</p><p>“I think at least two of the wait staff are undercover” he whispered in her ear. </p><p>“I see. Any idea what they are trying to accomplish?”</p><p>“My guess is to steal you back and kill Dimitri.”</p><p>“With only two people?”</p><p>“Those two people are most likely incredibly powerful and since they are not on the Eagles, no one here recognizes them.” </p><p>“Do you?” </p><p>Yuri shook his head.  “I can feel their power though. It’s strong and held back.”</p><p>Yuri must be incredibly talented if he sensed magical power that was clearly hidden… “So what do we do now?” Byleth asked.</p><p>“Wait for them to make their move I’m afraid.”</p><p>Yuri guided her off the dance floor and back to Mercedes and Annette.  He kissed her hand and gave her a wink before heading over to the bar.  </p><p>“Where is Dimitri?” Byleth asked when she failed to notice the prince.</p><p>“I’m not sure exactly. He walked into the back a minute ago” Mercedes said.</p><p>Fear shot down Byleth’s spine.  They were after Dimitri.  She had no idea why she knew that but she did.  Byleth made for the back space without a word.  She was certain that Annette and Mercedes would recognize her concern and alert the others. </p><p>Carefully Byleth made her way past the restrooms and down the long hall.  It was difficult to walk quietly when she was in heels.  She took the shoes off and carried them instead.  Byleth stranded her ears trying to hear anything that might help her.  She heard a few voices coming from her left.  She glanced inside and noticed two men in reflective vests.  Were they constructions workers?  She caught words that sounded like they needed Dimitri to move the car valet parking to the other side of the road.  Byleth got closer and noticed a body on the ground...one of Lion’s.  Byleth glanced behind her when she heard a noise in the hallway.  It must be the wait staff Yuri noticed.  Shit…</p><p>A crash came from the room with Dimitri inside of it.  A body hit the wall with a sickening thud.  Byleth grabbed a dagger and burst into the room.  Dimitri was surrounded by four men.  Two were mages, thoron spells glowing in their hands.  One was an archer, his bow ready to release the arrow which Byleth noticed was tipped in poison.  Dimitri dodged an attack as three men charged him.  The one closest to Byleth came after her while the archer backed away ready to land his strike.  Byleth managed to knock her attacker down, cut a thick gash in his chest then went for the archer.  Dimitri clearly did not need help with the others, his brute strength and ability to move quickly, helped him.  Byleth hit the archer with all her body weight before he got his shot off.  They both tumbled to the ground.  She got hit with a thunder spell from the wait staff that decided to join in on the action.  It was enough time for the archer to stab his poison dipped arrow into Byleth’s side.  She cried out in pain but still managed to cast a fire spell that burnt through the rest of the archer’s arrows quickly.  </p><p>Dimitri practically roared and ripped through his attackers just as Yuri and Felix arrived to take care of the two additional wait staff attackers.  The Lion leader made it to Byleth before the others.  Byleth could see a gash across his forehead and a rip in his jacket, other than that he seemed fine.  Dimitri shouted for Felix to fetch Mercedes while Yuri came over to access her injury.  </p><p>Byleth could already feel the effects of the poison.  Everything was dizzy and she knew she was about to vomit.  She did when Dimitri ripped the arrow out of her side.  She heard Yuri tell him to back away while he tried to hold off the poison until Mercedes arrived.  Dimitri roared out in anger again then proceeded to rip apart the room and everything in it.  </p><p>“Friend, focus on my voice” Yuri said.  </p><p>Byleth glanced in his lavender eyes.  It was difficult to look at him when she just wanted to close her eyes.  Byleth heard a bunch of other noises before she completely blacked out. </p><p>--<br/>
Byleth had no idea how long it took her to get all the poison out of her body.  Her life had drifted into a haze of brief moments and nausea.  It felt like she only woke up to vomit then fell back into a horrible restless sleep.  By the time she finally felt alright she was certain it was a new day.  </p><p>Byleth woke up to a dark room she did not recognize.  She was in a large four poster bed that had the curtains draped all around it.  Everything looked navy… Byleth shifted to sit.  She thought her body might feel like hell after being poisoned but she actually didn’t feel too bad.  She moved to the night stand where she noticed a glass of water and drank half of the contents.<br/>
She pulled the curtain to the side and stepped onto the plush carpeted floor.  She just now realized she was only wearing an oversized shirt and her underwear.  The dress was probably ruined.  Byleth glanced around the large space and noticed a huge tapestry of a lion hanging on the wall.  Just as she pieced together whose room she was in, the head of Lions walked through the door.  Dimitri immediately rushed to her, his hands gently resting on her shoulders.</p><p>“Byleth what are you doing up? Are you alright? What do you need?”</p><p>Byleth attempted a smile.  “I’m fine Dimitri. I was just trying to figure out where I was.”</p><p>“You’re fine after being poisoned?” he asked, surprised.</p><p>“For the most part. I’ve been poisoned before and felt much worse.”</p><p>“I see… Yuri gave you something he said would heal you up quickly. It appears as though he was serious.” </p><p>Yuri really was coming in handy…  “I hate to ask after I’ve burdened you so much but I could really use a shower and something to eat.”</p><p>Dimitri looked like she slapped him.  “Burden me? Byleth you saved my life. That poison would have killed me. Linhardt analyzed it and it was designed to destroy the Blaiddyd crest bearers. If you hadn’t taken the first arrow and burned the rest I would be dead. You have never been burden…” He gently stroked her cheek as if he thought for sure she’d flinch in pain.  “I will give you anything you want.”  Dimitri kissed her forehead.  “And I mean anything Byleth.”</p><p>The way he said that last sentence caused her to shiver.  He started walking her toward a door that assumed to be the bathroom.  </p><p>“I’ll get some food for you right away but please bathe first. Just relax.”</p><p>“Will you tell me exactly what happened while I eat? How those people got in?”</p><p>Dimitri hesitated for a moment. “Yes of course.” </p><p>She had a feeling he did not want to discuss it but she’d worry about that later.  She really wanted to get clean.</p><p>--</p><p>Half an hour later Byleth sat at a small table that was filled with food.  She wanted to laugh.  Dimitri had ordered her quite the spread of breakfast foods even though she assumed it was mid-day.  She picked out what she wanted as Dimitri broke down where they were in the investigation.  </p><p>Apparently there was an underground entrance to Dimitri’s club that they thought was permanently sealed off.  Some of TWSITD accessed the club that way, the others were the fake staff members Yuri noticed.  Dimitri hadn’t meant to go so far away from everyone else but he heard his office phone ring.  It was of course a ploy to corner him and attempt to kill him.  The wait staff was meant to distract anyone at the party who noticed them.  They were also the backup killers, waiting with poisoned daggers.  Byleth questioned why they didn’t just poison the drinks but apparently Dedue was very conscious of this and made sure every batch of food and drink was tasted tested and monitored once it left the kitchen.  So they had to rely on poison dipped weapons.  </p><p>Dimitri finished his update with a slew of apologies.  Byleth finished her coffee then stood up and moved over to him.  She lightly ran her fingers through his golden hair.  “Dima please stop apologizing. I’m perfectly alright and I’m glad I was able to save you. You have no idea how happy I am that I succeeded.” </p><p>Dimitri shook his head then grabbed her hand and kissed the palm.  “Byleth I would rather died then have you risk your life for me.  It’s lucky that poison was designed for me and not you.  I...I do not know what I would do if you died for me.”</p><p>“I feel the same.”  She stroked his cheek again then kissed his forehead.  “Shall I leave now? I’m sure you have a lot of work to do.”</p><p>“No!” Dimitri almost shouted as he stood up.  “Please you must need more rest. I insist that you continue to use my room until you are well.”</p><p>“Dimitri I am fine.”</p><p>“Are you sure?...You do not wish to stay a bit longer?”</p><p>Byleth smiled at the sudden shyness in his voice.  It was like he just realized he was asking a woman to stay in his bed.  Honestly Byleth was surprised to be in his room at all.  It would be easier for the healers to tend to her elsewhere. </p><p>“Dima why am I in your room in the first place?”</p><p>Dimitri’s face flushed lightly.  It was adorable.  “I...wait did you call me Dima?”</p><p>“Hmmm I guess I did. It just came out. Is that a nickname I say to you?”</p><p>Dimitri smiled.  “Yes my dear it is. It feels good to hear you say it again.”</p><p>Now it was Byleth’s turn to blush.  He was so happy in that moment and so damn close to here that she couldn’t help it.  Suddenly his hand was on her forehead.</p><p>“Are you alright? You look a bit flushed. Please rest some more Byleth.”</p><p>Byleth reached up and stroked his face.  “I promise I am fine.”  She let her hand move along his eye patch.  He grabbed her hand tightly and pulled it away from his face.  Byleth was sure she must have stepped over a line and felt foolish.  She hung her head down as he let go of her hand.  Dimitri cupped her chin and forced her to look up at him.</p><p>“I’m sorry Byleth I...I was afraid you’d take the patch off. I...I am ashamed of my appearance. I am this way because of my own foolishness.”</p><p>Byleth bit her bottom lip.  She thought about what Yuri said, to test the trust of Dimitri and Claude.  She wondered if she could get Dimitri to talk about his eye wound.  That would be an absolute showing of trust.   </p><p>“Dima...I hate asking this but...would you tell me what happened? It doesn’t have to be right this moment but...I…”  She stopped not sure how to justify her request.  “It’s weighing on me.  I...feel like I was responsible or that maybe I can help you in some way.”</p><p>Dimitri sighed and moved over toward the bed where he sat down, head in his hands.  “Byleth I told you before this is an unpleasant memory for me. And of all the people, you are the last one I should tell this to.”</p><p>Alarm shot through Byleth’s body.  “So it was me! I did that to you!” Byleth shouted as her body started to shake uncontrollably.  She felt sick to her stomach.  So she had cut Mercedes’ finger off and ruined Dimitri’s eye.  She might not have killed them but she still felt horrible for permanently damaging them.  Byleth’s knees gave out and she hit the ground hard.  A fresh wave of grief crashed into her and she started to sob.  She was surprised when Dimitri picked her up off the ground, sat back down on the bed, and cradled her to his chest.  </p><p>“Shh Byleth please do not cry over this. It was not your fault. Edelgard used my heart against me, made me think you had returned to us. I know you did not do this willingly. In fact, I believe you were meant to cut my throat.”  He pulled her hands from her face and made her look at him.  “Byleth somewhere deep in your heart you stopped yourself from killing me. You had a clean shot to kill me. The cut you did land was not even deep, just enough to damage my eye.”  </p><p>Dimitri pulled his patch off and let her examine the wound.  It was a perfect diagonal slice across his eye that only traveled up a bit into his right eyebrow and little below his eye.  He opened the damaged eye.  The beautiful ice blue iris was slightly clouded from the injury, and the white of his eye was decorated with red lines.  Byleth traced the scaring lightly, trying to hold back more sobs.  </p><p>“If you think I tried to prevent hurting you then why would I attack your eye?” she asked quietly.</p><p>“I believe you knew you needed to damage me in some way that was permanent. I was wearing armored clothing so that was your best shot.”</p><p>Hot tears fell down Byleth’s face as she continued to look at the wound.  “I know you say it’s not my fault but it’s so difficult not to feel responsible. I mean I did this to you...of all people.”  She leaned forward and kissed the scar.  “I can never express how sorry I am. I honestly don’t understand why you trust me now.” Byleth was surprised when she felt his lips on hers.     </p><p>“It is easy to trust someone you love so much.”</p><p>Shock trickled down Byleth’s entire body.  She must have misheard him.  “Love?”</p><p>Dimitri gave her a gentle smile.  “Yes, Byleth. I love you. I’ve loved you for so long.”</p><p>“But I...I thought you were with Marianne for a long time.”</p><p>Dimitri frowned.  “Yes and I did love her but we both had our inner demons that pulled us apart from one another. And I...I also loved you and I knew that was not fair to her.”</p><p>Byleth’s mind was spinning.  She was already struggling with what she had done to Dimitri and now he tells her he loves her.  If this was three years ago she would be elated by the news, and maybe at one point she was.  Right now she had no idea how to handle any confession of love, no matter who it came from.  She had no idea what to say.  Did she love Dimitri before she was captured?  Was he the one she was with?  She knew she couldn’t ask him these questions.  Even if he said yes to them she still needed to remember.  </p><p>“I apologize Byleth. I did not mean to tell you that...it just came out. I am sorry if my feelings are burdening you right now.”  </p><p>Dimitri made to move her off his lap and on the bed but Byleth wrapped her arms around his neck.  “No please. I’m afraid if you let me go right now you’ll walk away and not give me a chance to figure this out.”</p><p>Dimitri looked a bit confused but he wrapped his arm back around her waist and waited silently.  “I want to say I love you back because I know at one point I did. I was so in love with you three years ago. I’m just afraid to say anything now with my memories gone. I...I don’t know what to do.”</p><p>Dimitri gave her a soft smile.  “You do not need to do anything. You deserve your memories back before you make any sort of decision on who to love. I promise I did not tell you in order to sway your heart. Do whatever you need to do.” </p><p>Byleth examined his face.  It was so gentle and understanding and beautiful.  It was no wonder she loved him three years ago.  He was so wonderful.  Her lips began to tingle, thinking about the sweet kisses he’d given her since she woke up.  Maybe touching him, like Claude, would stir up her memories.  Byleth leaned forward and locked their lips together.  He accepted her kiss and held her tighter against him.  She moved back for a second examining his face, making sure what she had done was alright.  Desire flashed in Dimitri’s expression, but he also appeared to be holding himself back.  Goddess she wanted more of him.  Wanted to feel all of him.  Byleth leaned in again to give him a deeper kiss.  Dimitri touched her jaw, and prompted her to open for him.  Their tongues began to dance together as their kisses gained more heat.  Dimitri guided her to straddle his hips and they sank into each other’s touch.  </p><p>They must have kissed for ten minutes before either pulled away.  It was finally Dimitri who unlocked their lips and placed his forehead against hers.  </p><p>“Byleth...I want more of you but I know you must be exhausted.”</p><p>Byleth was starting to feel rather drained.  She wasn’t certain if it was because she had just been poisoned or the small emotional rollercoaster Dimitri just put her through.  Despite all of that she wanted more of him to.  She reached out and started unbuttoning his shirt.  Dimitri watched her, obviously waiting for permission for him to touch her again.  He looked like he was ready to explode as he let her do as she wished.  Byleth pulled the shirt open and stared at the best chest she’d ever seen.  Dimitri was broad and chiseled to perfection.  His skin was mostly bare except the thin blonde strands starting to decorate the middle of his chest.  Byleth knew she was flushed, her heart racing.  She was about to touch Dimitri the way she had always wanted to, always dreamed of doing.  Byleth honestly never believed she was good enough for him, but right now she was touching his bare chest with her hands.  She leaned in and kissed his neck, getting a soft groan out of him that drove her absolutely crazy.  She made a trail with her lips from his neck to his abs, slowly kissing and touching all that was exposed to her.</p><p>Dimitri grabbed her oversized shirt and pulled it off, leaving her in nothing but her underwear.  He suddenly towered over her and began his own exploration of her skin.  After every kiss he would whisper something sweet across her skin, like “so beautiful or I’ve needed you”.  Every kiss made Byleth shiver, every word made her want him more. </p><p>His fingers wrapped around her underwear and he looked up at her.  Byleth nodded her consent and he pulled the last piece of clothing off of her.  Dimitri shifted back on his heels, his eye scanning her whole body.  It made Byleth anxious and nervous.  She was grateful when he bent back down.  His hands moved up her legs and gripped her thighs, before he pulled them open.  Dimitri kissed her inner thighs, then her clit, before slowly licking up the slick that had dripped out during their heated kissing.  Byleth gasped at the feeling of his tongue lapping at her core.  He pushed it inside and hungry devoured her.  Byleth couldn’t stop the stream of moans that escaped her lips.  She gripped his hair with one hand while she used the other to push her hips up so he hit the perfect angle. Dimitri picked up her que and slipped his hands under her ass, moving her hips up so he could dive in deeper.  His nose brushed along her clit as he worked, sending waves of pleasure through her whole body.  Dimitri continued to eat her until an orgasm crashed into her and had her crying out.  </p><p>The Lion leader gently let her body down to relax on the bed, then he stood up and removed the rest of his clothing.  Byleth watched in awe, as he slowly revealed his entire body to her.  Every inch of him was corded in muscle.  She knew she thought of Claude as a golden god in her mind but Dimitri...he was built like a mythical being.  Broad, muscled, stunningly beautiful and extremely well endowed.  Byleth was pretty sure the word “wow” escaped her lips when she was finally able to take him all in.  </p><p>The mystical being crawled back into the bed with her.  His lips found hers again, as his hands traced along her body.  </p><p>“Please let me have you” Dimitri requested sweetly in her ear.  “I need you Byleth, please.”</p><p>In that moment she really needed him too.  Goddess he was perfect and she wanted to feel every inch of him.  “Please Dima” she said hoarsely, her throat a bit sore from screaming earlier.  </p><p>She didn’t know why she said please but he clearly took that as permission.  Dimitri’s massive length pushed inside of her slowly, like he wanted to savor every inch of her core.  He groaned when he bottomed out.  His lips brushed along her neck, then her jaw.  </p><p>“Are you ok?” he asked.</p><p>“Mmmhmm” she said clamping down on his cock to get him to groan.  “Fuck me Dima.”</p><p>Dimitri obliged her request.  Each thrust felt so good as he fucked at a medium pace.  She could tell he wanted to fuck her hard but he was concerned about her well-being.  She really wanted him to rock her world but she wasn’t sure she could handle it right now either.  Instead Dimitri made love to her.  His mouth was always kissing some part of her, his hands always moving along her skin.  She felt so enveloped by him, so weak underneath him but in the best way possible.  His cock was rock hard, and felt so big inside of her.  It was difficult to push down the desire to climax again, but she wanted to bring him with her.  </p><p>“Dima, please come with me” Byleth whined out when she couldn’t hold back anymore.</p><p>Dimitri practically growled and picked up his pace.  Byleth’s pleasure crested and Dimitri followed a few seconds later, his seed painting her stomach.  </p><p>They lay panting together for a few moments before Byleth got cleaned up then crawled back into the huge bed with the incredibly gorgeous man.  Dimitri pulled her against his chest.  His fingers moved through her hair gently.</p><p>“Get some rest my beloved. I promise I will not leave you.”</p><p>Byleth closed her eyes and let his soft touch help her fall asleep.  She’d figure out what the hell just happened after she got some more rest.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Dimitri is just the sweetest! Sorry for another super long chapter but I had a specific ending spot in mind so...yeah.</p><p>Next chapter Byleth spends more time with Dimitri where he confesses something else to her.  More of her memories come back and she feels like she might be getting closer to putting the pieces of her life back together before her capture.  </p><p>Thanks for reading and commenting!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Step Back</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Byleth gets a moment to think and Sylvain is there to hold her hand when she just needs a friend.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Byleth leaned against a cold stone wall inhaling cold air.  She needed it after the heated dancing and the drinking.  This wasn’t her normal refuge but it’s what she needed tonight.  Her mind was pleasantly numb and exactly what she was going for after dealing with intense heartbreak.  </p><p>The door to the club opened and the leader of the Blue Lions was suddenly next to her.</p><p>“Finally tired are you?” Dimitri teased as he moved a hand through his sweat slicked hair.  </p><p>Byleth watched the movement, his skin and hair illuminated by a weak street lamp and the soft glow of the rays of the moon.  </p><p>“Are you? I didn’t know you could move like that Dima. I figured you only knew the proper dances.”</p><p>Dimitri chuckled and it warmed her heart.  “Sylvain has taught me a thing or two over the years. I don’t normally go to places like this and try them out.”</p><p>Byleth smiled then lightly touched his arm.  “I’m glad you came out tonight. I needed to be around friends.”</p><p>Dimitri turned towards her and stroked her shoulder.  “Are you alright? Did you actually come out here to be alone? Should I return inside?”</p><p>Byleth shook her head.  “I just needed some air.”</p><p>Dimitri shifted closer to her.  “I understand…”  He glanced up at the moon then followed it’s light back to Byleth.  “The truth is I decided to join you this evening for reasons beyond being your support…Marianne and I...we are struggling to connect lately. I…”  His sentence trailed off as his ice blue eyes landed on her lips.  </p><p>Byleth was just staring at him, waiting for him to continue.  She didn’t even realize his hand had gone from her shoulder to her jaw, until his mouth was on hers.  Byleth’s brain short circuited at the connection.  She gave into his movements and sunk into him.  Dimitri groaned and pulled her tight against him.  Their tongues danced together in heated bliss until Byleth came to her senses.  She pressed her palms against his chest and pushed back slightly.  Dimitri looked ready for more, until she spoke.</p><p>“Dima. Are you still with Marianne?”</p><p>Dimitri frowned then sighed.  “I apologize Byleth. You just look so beautiful in the moonlight. I...I could not stop myself. I’m so damn attracted to you. Please forgive me.” </p><p>Byleth smiled and reached out to stroke his cheek.  “You don’t need to apologize to me. I enjoyed it...I’m incredibly attracted to you too. But if you’re trying to work things out with Marianne you really shouldn’t be kissing someone else.”</p><p>“I know…” Dimitri said and leaned forward to place his forehead against hers.  “Please forget my moment of weakness. I pray you will not let it cloud your judgement of me.”</p><p>“No at all.”</p><p>Dimitri kissed her forehead.  “You’re amazing Byleth. I don’t know how someone could possibly let you go once they had you.”</p><p>---</p><p>Byleth woke up to a large warm body.  Her eyes took in the pale skin and perfect chest.  Wow...this part was her actual reality? Not the vivid dream she just had?  A large hand was caressing her back, as lips pressed against her neck.  Byleth moaned softly, enjoying the feeling.  She shifted to give him more access as one of her hands moved along his chest feeling the thick muscle.  Dimitri moved two fingers along her folds, rubbing gently before pushing inside of her to see how wet she was.  He worked her for a bit until she started moaning.</p><p>“I apologize if I woke you up” he said across her skin.  “I just could not help myself, with your beautiful naked body along mine.”  He pulled his fingers back and rubbed the tip of his cock along her folds.  “May I have you again?” He asked gravelly, almost afraid of rejection. </p><p>Byleth’s mind was too tired and too pleased to really consider his request.  She just wanted to feel pleasure.  She needed her mind to ignore all the pain and confusion it had been in.  Byleth nodded his head and immediately felt his hard length push inside of her, causing her to gasp.  Dimitri pulled her leg up and started thrusting slowly in and out, while his mouth kissed hers lazily.  </p><p>Wow...this was a wonderful way to wake up.  A glimpse of a memory flickered in her mind.  She used to wake up this way a lot… She wanted to focus on the memory but it was difficult when the amazingly thick cock of the leader of the Lions was pleasuring you into the sweet abyss.  Dimitri’s mouth was sucking hard on one of her nipples as his thrusts became more rapid.  Byleth wrapped a leg around him and tried to move him on top of her.  Dimitri complied with her wishes.  Byleth wrapped both legs around his hips and both arms around his neck, keeping him close.  Dimitri’s breathing was laced with soft moans.  Byleth could tell his body was a bit tight by feeling his shoulder muscles against the tips of her fingers.</p><p>“You can fuck me as hard as you’d like” she softly into his ear, then licked along his ear lobe.</p><p>Dimitri groaned.  “Are you sure? I do not want to hurt you.”</p><p>“Please, just let go.”</p><p>Dimitri’s mouth latched onto hers hard, as his hips moved faster.  Byleth moaned against him, holding on tight as he gave into his desires.  She could feel his cock grow even harder inside of her.  It was enough to push her over the edge and take him with her.</p><p>Dimitri kept kissing her, even after their wonderful orgasm.  Byleth lazily returned his affection, still not fully awake.  One of his hands moved lightly along her stomach.  It felt nice...this all felt so nice...but…</p><p>“Byleth…” Dimitri said softly across her lips.  </p><p>His voice was so deep and desired laced it sent a shiver down her back.  She noticed his cock was still hard and he was moving it lightly against her leg.</p><p>“I know you just woke up but may I have you again?”</p><p>Even in the throws of passionate sex, Dimitri was somehow still polite.  It made Byleth smile.  “How could you possibly be ready for more right away?” she teased.</p><p>Dimitri kissed her lips, then her neck, his hand moving from her stomach to brush along her clit, sending a sensitive tingle up her body. </p><p>“It’s because you are so beautiful and I’ve wanted you for so long. I cannot stop myself” he said as he pushed two fingers back between her folds.</p><p>Byleth arched up and pulled his mouth onto hers.  Her mind was desperately trying to figure something out but her body absolutely refused to let it.  “I’ve wanted you for so long too. This feels like a wonderful dream.”</p><p>Dimitri pulled back for a moment.  He looked a bit...distressed?  She couldn’t tell or dwell on it much when he increased the pressure of his fingers.</p><p>“It does…” he said softly.  “But this is real and I’m sorry but I cannot stop.”</p><p>Dimitri pulled her hips to bend over in front of him.  He pushed his cock back inside of her and gave a few deep thrusts.  Byleth gasped as he changed his mind on the position and pulled her arms up, making her back flush with his stomach.  Dimitri placed one hand on her hip bone and the other under her jaw so he could kiss her.  He thrusted up slow and deep, giving Byleth a few moments to adjust.  They stayed this way for awhile, slowly sinking into each other.  Dimitri moved his hand from her hip bone to her clit and began rubbing the sensitive bud.  Byleth started moaning loudly, unable to keep quiet.  When an orgasm crashed into her, Dimitri couldn’t hold back any longer.  He pushed her to her hands and knees and fucked her hard and fast from behind.  Byleth whimpered at the rough assault, torn between intense pleasure and oversensitivity from her orgasm.  It didn’t take long for Dimitri to cry out in heated bliss, painting her ass with his seed, before letting them both collapse on the bed.  </p><p>Byleth lay next to him watching his chest rise and fall rapidly.  Dimitri really was a beautiful man.  It was hard not to stare at his naked body.  He noticed her gaze and gave her a weak smile.  He reached out and caught her chin, pulling her lips back to his.  </p><p>“Forgive me” he said softly.  “But I must go and check on things. I will return shortly.”</p><p>Byleth nodded her understanding and watched Dimitri get out of the bed and cover up his amazing body.  The second he left the room she squealed like a silly school girl.  She sat up in the bed trying to grasp what had just happened… She and Dimitri had fucked three times in a few hours...He told her he loved her…  Byleth grabbed one of his pillows and inhaled his amazing scent.  Goddess she felt like a teenager that just got asked out by her crush.  </p><p>Byleth crawled out of bed and moved to Dimitri’s massive tub.  She needed to wash all of the sex off of her and focus her thoughts.  Why did she feel this way?  She hadn’t after sleeping with Sylvain and Claude.  She felt like a woman not a teenager…  This really did feel like a dream…</p><p>Byleth sunk down into the scolding hot water.  It brought life to her body.  She was a bit sore, mostly likely from the fight at the gala.  As she sat in the water, her dream flashed back in her mind.  Her and Dimitri outside of a club...she was upset and he kissed her...even though he was still with Marianne.  The kiss had been wonderful but felt wrong because of his commitment and...Byleth’s own pain?  It was an oddly specific memory.  When she’d slept next to Claude and Sylvain she had a mix of memories wash over her...so why did she just have this one with Dimitri?  </p><p>The longer she sat in the tub, the longer she had time to think about things… For some reason her mind drifted back to Claude.  They had yet to discuss her memory dream and their disagreement… Something about Claude didn’t feel right...Well to be fair something about a lot of people didn’t feel right, it wasn’t just him.  Dimitri and Felix...they too seemed to be walling things off from her…  </p><p>Despite how incredibly pleased Byleth was at the moment...she wasn’t as happy as she should be after hearing someone confess their love… Maybe she needed to take a step back from Claude and Dimitri… If she kept being intimate with them it could cause a rift in their partnership...especially if one of them was the person she loved before her kidnapping...</p><p>Byleth sighed then dunked her head under the hot water.  She had a few awkward conversations coming her way…</p><p>---</p><p>Dimitri gently closed the door behind him.  He was a bit surprised that his normal guard was missing and instead his tall redhead childhood friend was in his place.</p><p>“Sylvain, why are you here?”</p><p>Sylvain sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.  “Well I was concerned about Byleth and Felix was angry. You either got me or him and I figured you’d prefer me.”</p><p>“I see...Well Byleth is well. Whatever Yuri gave her healed her up rather quickly.</p><p>“And whatever you were giving her had her crying out in bliss.”</p><p>Dimitri was a bit surprised at the somewhat accusatory tone of his normal teasing friend's voice.  “Did you come here to protect us or to spy on us?”</p><p>“I came here for her, and to keep Felix away…but now that I’ve confirmed your plan with her...”</p><p>“My plan? What are you talking about?”</p><p>Sylvain sighed.  “I miss the good ole days when I just fucked every girl I met and did not get involved in my friend’s personal lives.”  Sylvain placed a hand on Dimitri’s shoulder.  “Dima...You know what you’re doing is on par with one of Claude’s schemes.”</p><p>Dimitri shifted back.  “That’s ridiculous! How dare you insinuate that I would do something so low that it would be on that man’s level!”</p><p>Sylvain shook his head.  “If you really look at the situation I think you’ll realize it too.”  </p><p>“You know, I miss the days when you just philandered and stayed out of my business too.”</p><p>Dimitri walked away from his friend, leaving Sylvain behind.</p><p>---<br/>Byleth had just finished braiding her hair when Dimitri walked back into the room.  He had an odd look on his face...  When he noticed her, he smiled softly, it warmed her heart.  He really was beautiful, even with only one eye.   </p><p>Dimitri approached her and lightly ran his fingers along the braid.  “This looks wonderful. You rarely braid your hair.”</p><p>“My mom used to do it when I was a child.  After she passed away I kept my hair short...but now that it’s this long...I just really wanted to braid it.”</p><p>Byleth gently grabbed his hand and held it in both of hers.  It was so large, almost the size of her hands together.  “Dimitri...now that I’ve finally had a moment to think…”</p><p>“You wish to remain friends only” Dimitri guessed.</p><p>Byleth was shocked for a moment then she smiled.  “Am I that transparent?”</p><p>“Not exactly. I was just going to suggest the same.”  He shifted his hand and held both of hers.  “Byleth I...I did not tell you I loved you in hopes of claiming your heart or starting a physical relationship with you. I told you because you took a poison attack for me and I thought I lost you. I just...needed you to know how I feel.”</p><p>Dimitri hung his head slightly as if he was ashamed.  Byleth’s heart twinged in pain for a moment.  “Dimitri I do not blame you for telling me how you feel.  Like I said yesterday I wish I could return your feelings but I’m just so confused.”  She reached up and stroked his chiseled jaw.  “I really do love you Dimitri but I have no idea if I’m in love with you. I do not want to make any promises right now.”</p><p>Dimitri kissed her forehead.  “I understand. I really do. I want you to be with the person you truly love Byleth. I hope that it is me...I will be so incredibly happy. But getting your memories back is most important.”  </p><p>Byleth smiled.  “Thank you Dimitri. Now...now I need to leave and return to Claude’s. I need to talk to him…”</p><p>“Can I please send someone to escort you?”</p><p>“If it’s not too much trouble.”</p><p>“Of course not.”  </p><p>Dimitri guided her to his door.  They walked out and Byleth had this sense of overwhelming sadness hit her.  She turned to face the Lion leader and saw the expression of how she felt.  Byleth reached out and lightly touched his cheek.  She leaned up on her toes and pressed her lips against his. Dimitri wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her closer to him.  When she moved back he kept a hold of her almost as if he was afraid to let her go.</p><p>“Thank you Dimitri, for taking care of me and telling me the truth about what I did...”</p><p>Dimitri gave a brief nod then let her go.</p><p>“I owe you much more gratitude than I could ever repay.”</p><p>Byleth turned to see Sylvain and Felix staring at them.  For some reason dread washed through her.  Felix looked unbelievably confused and angry, where Sylvain looked...exhausted?  Felix immediately turned and walked away.  Sylvain shook his head then plastered a smile on his face.</p><p>“Are you alright baby girl?” the redhead asked. </p><p>“I am thank you, but Felix…”</p><p>“Don’t worry about him.”  Sylvain extended his hand.  “Do you need me to escort you somewhere?”</p><p>“If you’re not busy.”</p><p>“I’m always available for you.”</p><p>---<br/>Byleth had no idea it was nighttime.  She would have thought it was morning until her and Sylvain walked outside. It was dark with stars dotting the sky.  Sylvain called them a car and they headed towards Claude’s.</p><p>“Syl I...I can’t shake the feeling that Felix is angry with me.”</p><p>“No baby girl. He was with me to check on you. He is angry at Dimitri.”</p><p>“May I ask why?”</p><p>Sylvain stroked his chin in thought.  “You know those two do not get along, right?”  Byleth nodded.  “Well Dimitri just did something that...might have destroyed any chance of them ever being friends again.”</p><p>“What! That’s terrible...I...Goddess I hope that’s not true. Those two...I wish they could be friends again…”</p><p>Sylvain wrapped an arm around her shoulders and kissed her forehead.  “Me too baby girl…” Sylvain pulled her jaw to look at him.  “Really Byleth, how are you?”</p><p>Byleth saw the concern and sorrow in Sylvain’s warm brown eyes.  “Honestly Syl, I’m confused.  Dimitri...he told me he loves me.  Claude is...well he has been absolutely wonderful and I know I was with him at some point before my kidnapping but I had a memory dream that he...he might have hurt me.  Claude told me it was a dream and not a memory but...all my dreams have been pieces of memories… And then there’s Felix...He has been so protective but every time he answers one of my questions it takes him forever, like he might hurt my feelings.  And he’s...he has been oddly...hmmm I don’t know how to explain it.  The Felix I remember never let anyone touch him...but with me…”  Byleth stopped and bit her lip.  “Syl I know these three are incredibly important to me but I can’t seem to figure out how I feel or understand how they are acting.”</p><p>“They are all acting like idiots” Sylvain said.  “By, this is a weird situation that no one can prepare for or know how to act. They all care for you, at least trust that. Whether or not you get your memories back, I know you will figure out who you truly love.”</p><p>Byleth smiled and ran a hand through Sylvain’s soft beautiful hair.  “Thanks Syl. I wish I could help you in some way.”</p><p>Sylvain sighed.  “I’ll figure out some way to either get Ingrid back or to let her out of my heart. Don’t worry about me baby girl. Let’s get you figured out first.”</p><p>Damnit Sylvain was great.  Byleth gave him a quick kiss and pulled him in for a hug.  She really hoped he could find happiness and if the opportunity presented itself she would help him get it. </p><p>---</p><p>Byleth opened the door to Claude’s bedroom.  She knew he wasn’t there since Leonie informed her he had to run out.  Byleth decided she’d wait for him in here.  She glanced about the space that was so Claude.  Rich colored furniture, jewel toned accent pieces, book shelves filled with his many interests, and several books scattered about the space.  His desk was covered in notes and a reading lamp that Byleth assumed needed the bulb replaced several times a year, since Claude rarely slept.  </p><p>A wave of exhaustion hit her as she moved toward the plush bed.  Byleth took her shoes off and crawled into it.  She grabbed a pillow and took a deep whiff of Claude’s amazing scent.  Pain settled in her heart again.  That kept happening lately…Maybe it meant she was getting somewhere...If her heart hurt then maybe her brain would fill in the blanks soon.  She closed her eyes and tried to calm her heart.</p><p>--<br/>Everything was painful.  At first it was numb but as her body came back to life it was nothing but pain.  Byleth tried to focus on the soothing hand on hers, the deep green eyes in front of her and the charming voice of the leader of the Golden Deer.</p><p>“Be here with me, in the moment. Focus only on me.”</p><p>She tried to, tried so hard.  She knew she was gripping his hand painfully.  How long had they been doing this? </p><p>The scene shifted to Byleth waking up in Claude’s bed.  His upper body was laying on the mattress but his lower body was sitting on the floor.  Byleth saw his hand was touching hers, perhaps holding it before he fell asleep.  Had he been with her all this time?</p><p>Byleth reached out and ran her fingers lightly across his hair.  Claude shifted his head and looked at her with bleary eyes.  He grabbed her hand and kissed the palm.</p><p>“Are you alright By?” he asked hoarsely.</p><p>Byleth stretched her body.  “I’m a bit tender but I feel fine.”</p><p>“Thank the Gods.”  Claude shifted to sit next to her on the bed then pulled both of her hands between his.  “Byleth promise me you’ll never do that again” he said desperately.  “My heart can’t take it.” </p><p>Byleth observed the extremely concerned look on Claude’s face.  It was an expression she’d never seen before.  He was typically mischievous, charming, cocky, or deadly.  Those were his main settings.       </p><p>“I’m sorry Claude.”</p><p>“Don’t be sorry! Just promise me you won’t take a fire attack for someone again.”</p><p>Byleth bit her bottom lip, trying to figure out how to deal with this version of Claude. </p><p>“I promise.”</p><p>Claude kissed the back of her hand this time and held it to his chest.  Byleth sat up and reached out to touch his cheek.  Her actions surprised her because she never did this, but Claude really looked like he needed it.  The Deer leader leaned in to her touch.  This close, she was able to see how pale his face was and the dark circles under his eyes. </p><p>“Claude, how long have you been with me?”</p><p>“Since Linhardt and Mercedes were healing you” he answered softly.</p><p>“Why? Am I not healed? Did you need to look after me?”</p><p>“No, they both assured me you are fine.”</p><p>“Then why…”</p><p>Claude let out a slight exasperated noise, then attempted a smile.  “I wondered that myself honestly, but now that you are awake I know the reason.”</p><p>Byleth stared at him, waiting for him to continue.  Claude shifted forward, his face alongside hers as if he was about to tell her a secret.  “It’s because I want to be with you Byleth. I think I’m in love with you.”  His left arm wrapped around her waist carefully.  “I only now realized this because I thought I lost you.”</p><p>Love?  The word crashed into Byleth, sending an odd warmth down her body.  Claude loved her?  All that flirting, all those heated dances, all the little gifts he gave her was because he loved her?  Byleth’s heart swelled.  She knew she cared for Claude, had an unexplainable bond with him.  Was that love?  That feeling of dread and loneliness every time that person left your side.  The elation that consumed your whole body when you saw them again.  Did she love him too?</p><p>Byleth shifted back so she could look into his beautiful green eyes.  For once they were raw with emotion...drawing her in.  She leaned forward and pressed her lips against his.  She felt Claude immediately return her affections.  So much warmth rushed over her.  </p><p>“Claude I...I think I love you too.”</p><p>The happiness that spread across his face was beautiful, so incredibly beautiful. </p><p>The memory faded then she saw brief clips...Byleth protecting Claude...their passionate love making...Byleth strategizing for Claude...the grin on his face every time they succeeded with one of his schemes...then pain.  Just a lot of emotional pain...and loneliness.  Goddess she felt so alone...so alone.  Then a warm rough hand reached for her...and she took it…</p><p> </p><p>---<br/>A hand lightly brushed across her face, bringing Byleth back into the real world.  Claude had returned.  He was hesitantly touching her, a soft yet uncertain expression on his face.</p><p>“I’m sorry Beautiful. I was going to let you sleep but you started to whimper.”</p><p>Byleth shifted to sit up.  “It’s alright. I’m sorry I just fell asleep in your bed without asking…”</p><p>Claude smiled.  “You know that you don’t need to ask.”</p><p>There it was again...sweet caring Claude.  Byleth understood exactly why she loved this man at one point in her life...maybe still loved him. </p><p>“This is almost like the memory dream I just had.”  Claude cocked an eyebrow but waited patiently for her to continue.  “I remember you waiting for me to wake up after I protected Marianne from the fire attack. You stayed with me all night, then told me you loved me when you knew I was ok.”  Claude nodded his head, still waiting for her to continue if there was more.  “I...said I thought I loved you too…” For some reason tears were building up in Byleth’s eyes, her throat feeling tight with emotion.  “I’m sure I loved you Claude. You’re hard not to love. In fact I think I still do but I’m so damn confused!”</p><p>Claude pulled her against his chest and tried to soothe her.  “By, it’s ok. Don’t push yourself. Just breathe.”</p><p>Byleth let herself lay against him for a few moments before pulling back.  “Claude...I...we need to stop our...physical relationship, until I figure out my heart.  You have no idea how badly I want to be with you, but these dark memories...I just need to stop running from mind and really try to focus.”</p><p>“Beautiful you don’t need to explain yourself to me. I know this is difficult for you. Do what you need to. You owe me nothing.”</p><p>The way he said nothing sounded...pained.  Like he believed he didn’t deserve anything good in this world.  Byleth wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him hard.  She didn’t want him to think like that.  Claude returned her affections until she pulled back.</p><p>“I’m sorry Claude. If any of this is hurting you, and I think it is, I’m truly sorry. I can’t stand the thought of hurting you.”</p><p>“I know Beautiful and trust me you aren’t hurting me. You’ve never hurt me. Any pain you see in my expression is my own doing.”</p><p>Byleth stared at his handsome face and stroked it gently.  “You’re amazing Claude. I do love you.”</p><p>Claude gave her a sweet kiss.  “I love you too Byleth. So fucking much.”  He stood up and ran a hand along his face.  </p><p>“Do you want me to leave?”</p><p>“Beautiful, we’ve had this discussion so many times. I gave you a room, I want you here even if you’re not mine.”  He leaned down and kissed her forehead then teasingly booped her nose.  “You look tired. Feel free to stay in my bed if you’d like.”</p><p>Byleth smiled.  “I’ll go to my room but thank you.”  She stood up and hugged him then left his room...her heart heavy.</p><p>Sylvain and Linhardt were standing in front of the door to her room, talking.  Sylvain held out a hand to her the second he noticed her.  She immediately took it and felt a bit better.</p><p>“How’d it go?” Sylvain questioned.</p><p>“Alright I guess...Everyone has been so understanding with me...I don’t feel like I deserve it” Byleth said.</p><p>Sylvain scoffed in Felix fashion.  “Baby girl, you deserve the moon for everything you’ve done for us.”</p><p>“It’s true, Byleth” Linhardt added.  “Those idiots who love you need to treat you even better.”  Linhardt grabbed her other hand.  “I came to check on you but you look exhausted.”</p><p>“And I stayed to make sure you didn’t want to go back to the Lion compound or maybe my place after your chat with Claude” Sylvain said. </p><p>Byleth smiled.  These two were great.  She was pretty certain they were her closest friends before she left...and maybe Felix? </p><p>“I’m going to stay in my room tonight, Sylvain. Lin, do you mind checking me in the morning? I really just want to sleep.”</p><p>They both nodded in understanding and made to let go of her hands.  “Umm…” she said, suddenly stopping their movement by gripping their hands tight.  “Would you guys like to stay with me tonight? I’ll admit I’m still not comfortable sleeping alone and you’re both right here…”</p><p>They both grinned suddenly.  The sight warmed Byleth’s heart.</p><p>“Did you remember something?” Linhardt asked.</p><p>“No...did we do this before?”</p><p>“Many, many times. Lin and I slept with you a lot” Sylvain said.  “Typically after clubbing nights when we all decided we’d rather sleep then fuck someone we barely knew, but didn’t want to be alone.”</p><p>Byleth smiled.  “Well that’s exactly what I want right now, if you guys do.”</p><p>Linhardt was already pulling her into her room.  “You know I will never turn down sleep, especially if I get to curl up with people as beautiful as you two.”</p><p>“Aw Lin, you’re pretty too” Sylvain said. </p><p>Byleth blushed slightly then let out a little giggle.  </p><p>The three of them climbed in Byleth’s bed and curled up around one another.  Byleth smiled.  She felt oddly loved but in a friendship way.  It was soothing some of the pain in her soul and she passed out almost immediately, her head on Sylvain’s chest and Linhardt’s on her stomach.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I love the idea of Sylvain and Linhardt being Byleth's best friends.  You can't tell me you wouldn't want those two as bf's, unless of course you just want them in a different more fun way :) </p><p>Next up, Felix makes a decision. </p><p>Thanks for reading and commenting!!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Dancing to Remember</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Byleth has a good day, while Felix gets a bit of courage.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Byleth sat on her balcony, having breakfast with Sylvain and Linhardt.  It was a beautiful, warm morning, and her two companions were telling her funny stories from their past dance night adventures.  Byleth couldn’t remember the last time she laughed so hard.  At one point she moved over to Claude’s balcony and knocked on the door.  He opened it and flashed her a warm smile.  She invited him to join them, and was incredibly happy when he did.  Claude’s stories added to their fun and before she knew it, Byleth stomach hurt from laughing so much. </p><p>This felt good… Although still confused about her feelings, spending time with her friends instead of in the throes of love making, was doing more for her soul then anything else before.  As they told their stories, flashes of her own recollections would occur in her mind.  Hearing these tales was helping her greatly, along with the wonderful laughter from her companions.  The stories and memories were so light and happy.  She couldn’t help but smile.  </p><p>When they finished breakfast, Linhardt cast a few spells on Byleth to make sure she wasn’t reverting back in anyway from the curse.  When he was certain she was healthy he ventured off to his office in Claude’s library.  </p><p>The only one left with her was Sylvain.  Claude had business to attend to, and Byleth had a feeling he did not want to overstay his welcome.  Sylvain was sitting on the balcony, overlooking the city.  He was leaning back in the chair, his feet resting onto the railing.  He looked so pensive when Byleth approached him.  She ran her fingers through his soft hair, and he closed his eyes.  Sylvain wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her to sit on his lap.  Byleth wrapped an arm around his shoulders, and let him rest his head on her bosom.  </p><p>“You have no idea how good this feels right now; to have you back as my friend I mean.” Byleth gave a little hmmm in agreement.  “By, you and Felix are my best friends. When I lost you, then Ingrid and Felix shut himself off for awhile...Goddess I was so fucking lost. But I feel like I have you and Felix back again. Even though it’s not perfect I can’t help but be happy about it.”</p><p>Byleth smiled and kissed his forehead. “This is nice. Our connection now feels exactly like it’s supposed to be” Byleth said.</p><p>Sylvain shifted back a bit.  “That’s because this is the closest we’ve been to how we were when you were captured. Even when you had your special person, we still had sleepovers and late breakfasts together. We’d hang out until Felix would pull you away for training or Claude and Dimitri put you on a mission.”</p><p>“I think we can easily go back to that.”</p><p>Sylvain smiled.  “I hope so.”  Sylvain pulled her down and kissed her.  “I really do love you Byleth. It might not be deep and life giving, but it’s there.”  </p><p>“I love you too Syl” she said, returning his kiss. </p><p>Sylvain grinned.  “I know you’re trying to keep away from the gang leaders, but if you want to be physical again…”</p><p>Byleth lightly slapped his shoulder and he laughed.  “I’m just teasing!” he defended. </p><p>They sat together for a while longer, sharing their third cup of coffee and watching the sky. </p><p>“What do you have planned today baby girl? Need me to take you anywhere?”</p><p>“I have no idea...I think I might just stay here, probably see if any of the Deer want to train.”</p><p>“I’m sure Felix would come here if you need a good challenge.”</p><p>Byleth frowned.  “I’m...not sure what to think of Felix at the moment. I can’t shake that expression on his face, yesterday, from my mind. I know you said it was aimed at Dimitri, but I caught a look into his eyes. He seemed so...hurt. I want to give him space, in case I did do something to him.” </p><p>Sylvain sighed.  “How many times do I have to tell you that Felix is not mad at you. He is always grumpy and sometimes it projects to others. I promise you, you’ve done nothing wrong to him.”</p><p>“Still…” </p><p>“Byleth…” Sylvain practically growled.  “Felix is my other best friend. Can you please trust me when it comes to him?”</p><p>Byleth almost laughed at the annoyance in his voice.  “Alright, I’ll trust you” she conceded.</p><p>“Thank you” Sylvain said and kissed her nose, causing her to giggle. “Do you need me to stay here with you?”</p><p>“No. Like I said I don’t plan to leave.”</p><p>Sylvain picked her up with him and placed her feet on the balcony.  “Then I think I’ll take my leave. I need to shower and change and check in on the Lions.”  Byleth nodded her understanding.  “I’ll come back this evening. Leonie is doing the dj set again. Her dj nights are always the best. Want to come dancing with me?”</p><p>Byleth grinned and nodded her head. Sylvain chuckled at her enthusiasm. He gave her a quick kiss then bid her farewell.</p><p>Byleth watched the handsome redhead leave.  How could anyone not fall in love with Sylvain?  She thought maybe Ingrid really did love him but those two always bickered with each other...but that was probably because of their strong feelings.  Even Yuri thought when Ingrid joined the Eagles, she had been in love with someone else before Dorothea.  If they could take the Eagles down, maybe Dimitri would welcome her back to the Lions and Sylvain could have his chance.  Byleth knew she shouldn’t think so hopefully but it was hard when you just wanted the best for your friends. </p><p>Byleth moved back into her room and put on her training gear.  It was time to clear her mind and work her body.</p><p>--  </p><p>Sylvain walked into the Lion’s training room.  The sound of fists hitting a punching bag echoed in the space.  He moved to see the poor bag’s attacker and was not at all surprised to see his best friend.  Sweat coated, gritting his teeth and blood starting to run from his knuckles, Felix was determined to punch until he passed out.  Sylvain frowned weighing his options before approaching the angry swordsman.  </p><p>“Are you trying to destroy your hands?”  Felix didn’t respond, just punched the bag harder.  “Come on Fe. This isn’t helping.” </p><p>Felix growled and the Crest of Fraldarius burst to life, causing his next punch to rip through the bag.  He pulled his hand out from the middle of the bag then looked at Sylvain.</p><p>“What the hell do you suggest then?” he spat.</p><p>“Go get her.”</p><p>“I can’t! I refuse to manipulate her! I will not take advantage of her!” Felix said with another punch, completely ripping the bag off of its hook.  The bag dropped to the floor, creating a small cloud of dust.  Felix moved to sit on the nearby bench, his head falling into his hands.  </p><p>Sylvain hesitated a moment before walking to him.  “Fe, you can’t just do nothing. If you want her you need to tell her.”</p><p>“It’s not that easy!” Felix shouted to the floor.  “I’m not you. I’m not Claude and apparently fucking Dimitri. I can’t seduce her and hope she falls in love with me. I’m not the leader of a fucking gang or anyone important. I have nothing to give her!”</p><p>Felix was shaking with fatigue and rage.  Sylvain wondered if the swordsman could fall any deeper then he had before.  At least he was still talking… At one point, in the last year, Felix completely shut himself off for a few weeks.  He hid in his room and refused to talk to anyone.  Sylvain had no idea how Felix pulled himself out of that darkness, although he had some suspicions that it wasn’t without help...but whose was the question.  </p><p>Sylvain bent down in front of Felix.  “You think any of us actually seduced Byleth? You know how she is. Byleth has an incredibly big heart and more love for any of us then we actually deserve. It’s one of the reasons Edelgard captured her to begin with. Byleth’s love was so important to all of us. When she became our enemy it crushed everyone.”  Felix didn’t say anything, his eyes still fixed on the floor.  “Fe, I know it’s not your style but if you want her, really want her, you need to show her. Byleth will never know how you truly feel unless you tell her. She would never assume that someone loves her.”</p><p>“I can’t do that Syl...She is so fucking confused and that damn boar prince made it worse. Adding my feelings into the mix with Dimitri’s and Claude’s, will just make everything so much more difficult for her. I can’t hurt her anymore.”</p><p>Sylvain placed a hand on Felix’s shoulder.  “You won’t hurt her. If anything, telling someone you love them is a blessing for that person. Even if they don’t feel the same way about you, they will know someone loves them. Byleth needs all the love she can get right now.”</p><p>“All I’ve done for the last year was fight to get her back. Now that she’s here I can’t seem to do anything to help her. I just...I just want her to be happy but I know that might actually kill me.”</p><p>Sylvain wrapped his arms around Felix and pulled him against his chest.  “I know how you feel.”</p><p>They stayed that way for a moment before Felix hugged Sylvain back.  It was brief, in Felix fashion.  The swordsman pulled moved away and looked at Sylvain.</p><p>“I’m sorry. I know you’re having a rough time too.”</p><p>Sylvain flashed a half hearted smile.  “Yeah but our pain isn’t the same and I won’t pretend like it is. I was an idiot and didn’t tell Ingrid how I felt. Now she’s gone and I can’t even bring myself to try and win her back because she is with someone else.”  Sylvain gripped both of Felix’s shoulders tightly.  “I lost her Felix. Don’t do the same thing I did. The longer you wait the greater the chance that you won’t get Byleth. You know how much she loves Claude and Dimitri. She’s in this vulnerable state where she just might make a decision without having all the cards in her hand. Byleth can be a fool when it comes to emotions, you know that. She might be a brilliant tactician but only in battle, not of her own heart.”</p><p>Felix sighed.  “I know. You are right. I just can’t shake the feeling like I’d be taking advantage of her.”</p><p>“But you’re not.”</p><p>Felix glanced up at him then nodded.  Sylvain kissed his forehead then lightly pulled one of his hands between his.  Faith magic poured into the ripped open skin of the swordsman's knuckles.  </p><p>“Idiot, you don’t have to do this. I did this to myself. I should deal with the pain.”</p><p>Sylvain chuckled.  “You call everyone an idiot the second they do something you don’t agree with. How often do you call yourself that?”</p><p>Felix narrowed his eyes but didn’t say anything. He sat still while Sylvain healed him then stood up when the redhead was finished.</p><p>“Do you know what Byleth is doing this evening?” Felix asked.</p><p>Sylvain smiled.  “In fact I do. I invited her to come dancing with me.”</p><p>Felix sighed.  “At Claude’s?”</p><p>“It is the best dance club in Fodlan.”</p><p>“Guess I need to get showered and ready then…”</p><p>Sylvain watched Felix walk toward the door.  The swordsman stopped for a moment.   </p><p>“Thank you Sylvain” he said, then walked out of the room.</p><p>---   </p><p>Byleth was having a surprisingly good day.  The first one since she returned from the Eagles.  She woke up surrounded by her friends, who joined her for breakfast; she spent a large part of the day in the training hall, grappling with Raphael, practicing her bow skills with Claude and Ignatz, then doing some sword exercises by herself.  She had a late lunch with Hilda and Flayn, then took a shower and a nap where her dreams filled in a few more memories. Now she was dressed in a short black skirt and a white halter top with knee high boots and gold hooped earrings, ready to dance.  </p><p>She walked into the club and went straight for the bar where Flayn made her a drink.  Byleth noticed Sylvain and Felix on the other side, gave them a little wave, then walked up to the suite where Linhardt, Ashe, Annette and Mercedes were.  They chatted pleasantly until they all decided to move to the dance floor.</p><p>Byleth felt light and free, letting her body move as it wanted to with the deep bass and flashing bulbs.  She laughed as she danced around, occasionally sipping her drink or talking to her friends.  </p><p>When she needed another drink, Byleth moved over to the bar, and squeezed into a small space next to Felix.  He was sitting alone, sipping on a glass of amber colored liquid, his head in one of his hands, staring off.  </p><p>Byleth plucked his drink out of his hand and took a little sip.  The movement brought Felix back to the present and he turned to face her.  She grinned at him and Felix gave her a heart stopping smile.  Holy Goddess...had she ever seen Felix smile like that before?  He gently pulled his glass out of her fingers, took a sip and put it down on the bar. </p><p>“Did you like that?” he asked.  </p><p>It took Byleth a moment to realize he was asking about his drink.  “I do. It’s rye barrel-aged, my kind of whiskey.”</p><p>“I know” he said, pulling her hips so she’d fit between his legs, her lower back resting on the bar. </p><p>She didn’t mind being moved to a more comfortable position, but Felix kept one of his hands on her hip.  It was slightly distracting, paired with his legs against hers and those magical eyes staring at her.  Byleth needed to keep talking before she did something stupid.  </p><p>“Are you...ok now?” she asked hesitantly.  “Yesterday you…”</p><p>“I’m fine. Don’t worry about that.”</p><p>Byleth bit her lips, not really believing him.</p><p>“You’re doing it again.”</p><p>“What?” she asked, confused. </p><p>“That annoying thing where you think I’m mad at you but I’m not telling you.”  Byleth narrowed her eyes and he smirked.  “Byleth if I was mad at you I wouldn’t let you into my space like this” he said gesturing to their somewhat intimate position.</p><p>He had a point...Felix hated being around people and more so those he was having a disagreement with.  Letting Byleth into his space like this...was kind of a big deal for him.  She shook the thought from her mind, trying not to give herself too much praise.  He might just be acting nice to her since he knew she was struggling with her memories.</p><p>“Do you ever dance at these places?” she asked, to change the subject.  “So far I’ve only ever seen you at the bar.”</p><p>Felix did that thing where he stares at her for a moment before answering.  “I have...It’s not my ideal situation though...too crowded.”</p><p>Byleth was trying to picture Felix dancing like this.  She couldn’t wrap her brain around it.  She was grateful when Flayn placed a drink next to her, pulling her mind from the ideas of how Felix’s hips could move to the more sultry dances.  She took a sip of her drink before Felix pulled it out of her hands, took a sip, then grinned at her before handing it back.</p><p>“You owed me.”</p><p>She smiled.  “I believe we owe each other a dance too, since we couldn’t at the gala.”</p><p>“That’s true.”</p><p>“Soooo come dance with me now” she said tugging at his free hand.  </p><p>Felix stared at her again.  Instead of struggling to find the right words, he looked more like he just wanted to look at her.  She was certain his eyes kept roaming across her body.  She wondered how many whiskeys he had tonight.  </p><p>“I’ll come out later.”</p><p>Byleth frowned.  “I don’t believe you.”</p><p>“I promise.”</p><p>She wanted to banter with him more, but it was so difficult when those hypnotic vermilion eyes had your full attention. Byleth really couldn’t read Felix at the moment, but he seemed calm...like he had accepted something difficult and was finally living with it. </p><p>“Fe, you seem...hmm I’m not sure what the word is.”  Felix’s eyes widened slightly and it caused her to lose her train of thought. “What?”</p><p>“You called me Fe.”</p><p>“Oh! Do you not like that? Sylvain calls you thought and it just...I don't know. It felt right to say.”</p><p>Felix surprised her again with another wonderful smile.  “That’s what you used to call me too.”</p><p>It was Byleth’s turn to smile. She kissed his cheek and tapped his leg so he’d let her out.  “I’ll be waiting for our dance. Don’t let me down Fe!” she shouted as she went back into the crowd of dancing people. </p><p>Byleth danced more with her friends.  As the night went on the music turned more sultry resulting in more people coupling up and grinding along each other.  Byleth thought for sure Felix would not come out for this type of dancing so she took turns with Linhardt and Sylvain, again letting her mind go blank as the music gave her body something to focus on. </p><p>After having nothing but two tall dance partners for the last several rounds, she was surprised when someone a bit shorter took Sylvain’s spot.  Felix easily fit them together.  Their legs intertwined, their bodies pressed against each other.  One of his hands was on the middle of her back and the other her ass, pushing their hips together.  Byleth wrapped an arm around his neck and let her other hand rest on the middle of his back.  </p><p>Byleth thought her and Claude fit together well, but so did her and Felix.  The swordsman’s dancing was better than Byleth imagined.  She should have known that Felix could move his hips.  To be a good sword wielder you needed to be flexible, understand your body and how to move it in every direction, but even Byleth needed to be taught how to dance like this.  She wondered who taught Felix.  </p><p>They stayed connected for a dance.  When the next one began Felix did not let her go, and she did not try to change partners.  Her body was enjoying the feeling of his way too much.  She shifted closer so she could talk in his ear, in order to break her mind away from the way he moved.  </p><p>“Who taught you how to dance like this?”</p><p>Felix smiled.  “You did.”  This answer surprised Byleth.  “You said it would help my sword technique.”</p><p>“Did it?”</p><p>“It did. But I think there was another reason you wanted to teach me.”</p><p>“And what was that?”</p><p>Felix’s lips lightly brushed along her ear.  “Because you wanted to dance with me like this.”</p><p>Heat flushed up Byleth’s body.  She was already hot from the dancing, so she had no idea how she could feel any hotter.  </p><p>“Did we...dance together a lot?”</p><p>“I told you earlier. I’m not into dancing, but anytime I dance like this it’s because you ask me to.” </p><p>Byleth realized that at some point Felix’s hand had moved under her shirt and was now brushing along the skin of her back.  His other hand was still on her ass but she was almost certain it was digging in deeper.  Byleth was trying so hard to digest everything he was saying and doing… Felix was being so familiar with her and she was almost 100% certain he was flirting with her.  Was he drunk or… </p><p>For some reason in that moment one of her hands slipped under his shirt.  Her fingers found part of the sexy hip V she saw a few days ago in the training hall.  She traced it a few times, loving the feel of his hot skin on her finger tips.  </p><p>A memory crashed into her.  She’d done this before.  Images flashed of her and Felix dancing like this.  They weren’t clear but her emotions were.  Byleth had wanted him, badly.  She absolutely loved dancing with Felix like this.  She clearly heard her mind think ‘damn he is so sexy, I just want him to touch me more’.  They were touching each other’s skin just like they were now; a bit more than normal for dancing with someone that was just your friend.  She’d shifted back to catch his eyes.  They were so heavy with desire it took her breath away.  Holy shit.</p><p>In real life Felix, pulled her back slightly.  She must have stopped moving because he was giving her a concerned look.  One of his hands brushed along her face.</p><p>“Are you alright?”</p><p>Byleth bit her lip and nodded her head.  Her brain was still half in the memory.  She couldn’t shake those heated vermilion eyes out her mind.  She needed to know if there was more between them, but she knew if she asked Felix he wouldn’t give her a straight answer.  Instead, she wanted to push her mind into remembering.  Byleth reached out and moved both of her hands under his shirt.  She slowly let them glide along his well defined abs.  She stepped in closer.  The second she did, Felix replicated her actions, his own hands now lightly touching the sides of her stomach. </p><p>Felix’s breath tickled her neck.  “What do you need?” he asked, his voice heavy with want.  </p><p>Byleth almost said ‘you’, but she held her tongue.  Her eyes were still closed, very aware of everything he was doing.  “I had a memory...I’m trying to see more.”  </p><p>“By touching my stomach?” he asked, teasingly.  </p><p>Byleth knew he was smiling and it made her do the same.  More heat flushed up her body.  Her hands moved to his back and she took her time moving them up the smooth skin and hard muscles.  “It’s a...touching sort of memory” she explained, or at least she hoped he understood.</p><p>Felix’s nose brushed along her neck.  One of his hands dug into the side of her stomach, while the other returned to her ass.  “How can I help?” he asked.</p><p>How could he help?  Byleth wanted to laugh at the question.  She was certain she could feel his cock growing hard along her leg.  She really wanted to grab it.  What the hell was this man doing to her?  Byleth pulled her head back so she could look into his eyes.  That was a mistake...Felix’s eyes always did something to her stomach.  They were so fucking hypnotic it was difficult to look straight at them.  But right now...holy Goddess.  The sight of them made her want to rip off her clothes and give herself to him in front of all these people. </p><p>Another memory hit her.  Felix and Byleth were wrapped up in each other in a corner of the club.  Their mouths meeting feverishly, their hands constantly touching each other’s flesh.  Their movements were so desperate, so heated, so fucking intense.  </p><p>Byleth felt her body move forward.  She pressed her lips to Felix’s.  He pulled her back roughly and she snapped her eyes open, confused.  It looked like it took all of his willpower to do.  Felix grabbed her hand and pulled her to the spot she had just seen in her memory.  It was a bit quieter here, dark and not as hot.  Felix pressed her against the wall and looked at her like he might explode. </p><p>Byleth had no idea what to think right now.  She could not read his expression.  “I’m sorry Felix. I...I thought…”</p><p>He leaned into her more.  “What? What did you think, Byleth?”</p><p>“Ok, it’s less what I thought and more what I felt; what my memory showed me.”</p><p>“And what was that?” he said gruffly.  </p><p>“Us, here in this spot...together…”</p><p>Felix’s eyes widened.  She reached out and laced a hand in his shirt.  For some reason she thought he might run away.  </p><p>“What else?” he asked.  </p><p>“What else? I...I don’t know what you mean.” </p><p>“What did you feel, Byleth?” he asked.  Felix was acting like he needed to run; like he needed her to answer this question quickly or he might die.</p><p>“That I wanted you, so fucking badly” she admitted.   </p><p>His eyes darkened and he bit his bottom lip.  His hand cupped her chin roughly.  “Nothing else?”</p><p>“I...I don’t know...It was just flashes of a memory.”</p><p>Felix growled and let her go.  He backed away from, letting her breathe.  Byleth felt like she had just let him down somehow.  She was so confused by his reaction to her kiss.  They had kissed before but for some reason this one was different.  Because there was heat and desire between them right now?  This was all so fucking frustrated.  Did she just do something incredibly stupid?  Did she just push Felix away?</p><p>“I’m sorry!” she shouted.  “I’ve upset you. Please don’t hate me!”</p><p>Felix was pressed against her again in a flash.  His lips crashed onto hers and she gasped.  Byleth wrapped her arms around his neck, trying to get a sense of stability while he kissed her stupid.  Felix picked her up and wrapped her legs around his middle, pressing his cock against her core.  Byleth whimpered, wanting so much more of him.  She had no idea what was going on and she really did not care.  Felix’s mouth was intoxicating and he tasted like whiskey.  He was so passionate in all of his movement’s that it made her dizzy. </p><p>“Fe, I want you so badly” she whined when he gave her a second to breathe.</p><p>“I want you too.”  He grinded his cock along her core more and they both groaned.  “So fucking much.” </p><p>Byleth moved to kiss him again but Felix had let her legs go.  He shifted back from her, but placed both of his hands on her face and took a deep breath.</p><p>“But not like this.”</p><p>Byleth furrowed her brow.  She was confused by what he meant.</p><p>Felix gave her a soft smile. He pressed his lips against hers and lingered a bit.  “By, I want you but I don’t want to take advantage of you.”</p><p>“What do you mean take advantage?”</p><p>“We’ve both been drinking and you’ve been having a rough time. I won’t fuck you unless you’re sober and I absolutely know you want me.”    </p><p>Byleth stared at him, surprised at his words.  He thought he’d be taking advantage of her?  That was oddly sweet but also kind of painful.  She had no idea what to think of that...was she too drunk? </p><p>“Fe...I do want you. This isn’t the first time I’ve felt this way” she said, trying to convince him she was more than happy to have something happen between them. </p><p>Felix looked ready to kiss her again but he stopped.  Instead he stroked her cheek and leaned into her.  “Come find me when you’re sober and tell me then.”  He kissed her then vanished. </p><p>Byleth leaned back against the wall trying to figure out what the hell just happened.  Her lips tingled and her heart was beating so fast.  Wow...just fucking wow.  When was the last time she felt like this?  Like she wanted someone so badly she might die if she didn’t get them.  Fucking Felix...what the hell did he just do her?  Byleth wanted to pout but it was hard not to admire what Felix had said.  He didn’t want to take advantage of her...Goddess that must have taken a lot of willpower for him to walk away.  </p><p>Byleth took a few deep breaths.  She still couldn’t understand what the fuck was going on.  Her memories indicated that she and Felix had definitely messed around before.  She had no idea what to think about that.  </p><p>Byleth pushed herself off the wall.  Felix was right.  It wouldn’t be smart for her to just hop back into bed with someone right after she decided it wasn’t good to be with Claude and Dimitri.  No, she’d go and dance more with Sylvain and try not to think about Felix...his amazing mouth, hot touch and his body pressed against hers.  Yeah...she would definitely not think about him anymore.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Good guy Felix :)  I've finally given you guys some heated Felix time!  </p><p> </p><p>Next up, Byleth tells her story to an enemy, while the Lions get into trouble. </p><p> </p><p>Thank you for reading and commenting!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Useless</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Byleth is forced to sit on the sidelines, while those she loves but themselves in danger.  But sometimes the sidelines are the best place to be.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Byleth failed...she one hundred percent failed to get Felix out of her mind after their heated dancing and passionate kissing.  She tried all night with more dancing and drinking before her, Sylvain and Linhardt fell asleep together again.  Felix haunted her dreams with his amazing eyes, rough touch, and intoxicating lips.  She woke up in the morning still wanting him.  It definitely wasn’t the alcohol.  It just had to be him.  </p><p>Byleth groaned and crawled out of bed. Sylvain was already sitting on her balcony sipping coffee and staring at the sky.  Byleth blocked his vision and gave him a frustrated pout.</p><p>Sylvain chuckled.  “What’s wrong baby girl? You look like you want to scream.”</p><p>“I do!” she whined.  Then moved to pour herself a cup of coffee and lean against the railing in front of him.</p><p>“Why?”  She did not respond right away, clearly debating if she wanted to tell him.  “Did Felix do something to you? You’ve been acting odd since you two vanished for a bit at the club and then he left without a word.”</p><p>Byleth groaned again.  “Syl...I’m going absolutely crazy! I think I have feelings for three different people. How can that be?”</p><p>Sylvain smiled and leaned forward to grab her hand.  He kissed the back of it and looked up at her.  “It’s because you have a big heart Byleth. It’s one of the reasons Edelgard took you, she knew how much you meant to all of us.”</p><p>Byleth frowned.  “I don’t know…” </p><p>“By, if I wasn’t in love with Ingrid I know I’d be in love with you. I would have tried to claim you when we started our fun physical adventure. Trust me, it’s because of all the love you have to give. Why do you think I’m happy with our friendship being so close and touchy? It’s because I know it’s my way of having some of your love.”  </p><p>Byleth had to smile at that.  It was so sweet.  “But how can I love so many people?”</p><p>Sylvain stood up and cupped her chin in his hand.  He gave a serious look which stopped Byleth from trying to speak anymore.  </p><p>“Baby girl listen to me. You have a big heart. You’ve always loved all three of them but you were only in love with one of them when you were captured. It’s alright that you’re struggling to figure this out. It’s understandable that this is so difficult when you love them all. Stop beating yourself up about it.”  Sylvain kissed her cheek and shifted back to his seat.  “You seemed alright yesterday, what happened last night?”</p><p>“Felix happened” Byleth said, then took a sip of her coffee.</p><p>“What did he do?”</p><p>“He...he is...fuck! He is so fucking sexy! I can’t get him out of my mind!”  Sylvain chuckled and Byleth felt herself get angerier.  “It’s not funny! We danced together, I had a memory of us doing just that then moving to the back of the club and making out. Felix thought I wasn’t alright so he ended up pulling me back to that same spot I saw in my memory. I told him what I saw and what I was feeling. We had a very heated kiss then he just stops and says he can’t take advantage of me because I’ve been having a hard time and we had been drinking. Then he just left!” Byleth groaned.  </p><p>“He didn’t say anything else?”</p><p>“He...was trying to get me to express exactly how I was feeling...Before he left he said that if I really wanted him, to tell him when I’m sober.”</p><p>Sylvain smirked again.  “Soooo....you’re sober now...do you…?”</p><p>“Yes, I still want that asshole!”</p><p>Sylvain laughed and Byleth kicked him lightly in the shin.  “Are you going to tell him?”</p><p>Byleth moved to sit down at the table.  “I don’t know...Honestly it kinda seemed like he didn’t really want me...that maybe he was drunk and he needed to back away before he did something he’d regret.”  Byleth sighed.  “I only saw those few heated memories...I have no idea what happened between us. I don’t want to assume we had more than a few dances and make out sessions. I’d feel like such an ass if I put him in an awkward situation because I can’t understand my feelings. I know how put off Felix can get. I don’t want to push him away.”</p><p>“You won’t push him away no matter what you decide.”</p><p>Byleth frowned.  “Are you sure?”</p><p>“Yes baby girl. Even when he’s drunk Felix means what he says. He...he has been upset because he thinks people are taking advantage of your vulnerable state at the moment. He doesn’t want to be one of those people.”</p><p>“People are taking advantage of me? How?”</p><p>It was Sylvain’s turn to sigh. “I’m not sure I absolutely agree with Felix on that matter but in his mind that’s what he believes. You’d have to ask him. I dare not speak on Felix’s behalf or he will punch me again.”</p><p>“Is that why he punched you before, because he thought you took advantage of me?”</p><p>Sylvain chuckled.  “Partially, and I absolutely deserved it.”  Sylvain stood up and kissed her forehead.  “I need to get going. I talked to Claude earlier and it sounds like something is up. You should check in with the handsome devil when you’ve eaten something.”  Sylvain went to leave then stopped.  “Baby girl, tell Felix whatever it is you’re feeling. Don’t hold back because you think you might upset him. I promise you won’t.”</p><p>Sylvain walked out and left Byleth with her thoughts...What exactly was she feeling when it came to Felix besides almost desperate levels of want?  She shook her head, realizing if something was going on she didn’t have time to think about this.  She quickly ate some toast, finished her coffee and went to find Claude.</p><p>---</p><p>Byleth stood in front of a one way mirror.  Her eyes took in the handsome heir to House Aegir.  Ferdinand was strapped to a chair, his head hanging down, for once not that picture of noble excellence.  He looked roughed up, like someone had punched him a few times.  </p><p>Claude had explained to her that last night that the Deer raided one of the Eagle’s safehouses, based on some of Yuri’s intel.  They were looking for Byleth’s weapon, the Sword of the Creator.  Byleth was a bit ashamed that she’d barely thought about the glowing relic since she awoke.  It was precious to her but not as much as her memories.  The more she thought about it, the more she was surprised that she left it behind.  Maybe it was too risky to escape with it. </p><p>Claude also mentioned that they discovered several encrypted messages, a few gang members, and of course Ferdinand.  Apparently both sides lost some people in the fight.  They were planning to kill Ferdinand but Yuri thought he might be useful. </p><p>Byleth glanced at Claude who had yet to even fake a smile at her this morning, besides the tired one he gave her when she knocked on his door.  His jaw was set and his whole body was tight.  She wanted to reach out and hold him but knew better to do so in front of Yuri.  Claude had lost people...that always hit him hard.  Byleth wondered why he even wanted to lead a gang when there was always human loss involved.  </p><p>Claude walked into the room with Ferdinand.  The Aegir heir lifted his head when the Deer leader approached.  Claude immediately transformed into the cocky mischievous man he was known to be.  Byleth and Yuri watched Claude try to trick Ferdinand into divulging too much information  It was a long a difficult tactic but Claude wasn’t one for torture, at least not physical.  </p><p>After an hour of getting nowhere Yuri sighed and lightly ran a finger up Byleth’s arm.  “Are you thinking what I am?” he asked with a smile.</p><p>Byleth saw heat in those lavender eyes but she had a feeling he was teasing her.  “That he doesn’t actually know anything.”</p><p>Yuri grinned.  “Exactly, but I have an idea of a different way to use him.”  Yuri tapped on the glass to get Claude’s attention.  When Claude came out Yuri said, “send Byleth in.”</p><p>Claude furrowed his brow  “Why? I really don’t think he knows anything about the coded messages.”</p><p>“I know but I think seeing Byleth again might shed some light on how Edelgard runs her gang.  Maybe we can stir up some drama within.”</p><p>“Why would seeing me do that?” Byleth questioned.</p><p>Yuri sighed.  “Indulge me please.”</p><p>Byleth looked at Claude who nodded his head.  She took a deep breath and walked into the room.</p><p>For a moment, Byleth felt bad for Ferdinand. The rope keeping him in place was digging into his skin. He was only wearing a pair of pants, so the bonds on his upper half were slowly ripping away at his flesh.  </p><p>From what she could remember, Ferdinand was always a polite man.  Sometimes a bit too concerned with comparing upper society to lower society, he still tried to treat everyone with respect.  He was another person that was in a gang and she could not wrap her head around why.  It had something to do with his father’s connection to Edelgard’s family.  Byleth remembered having tea with him a few times before she stopped doing mercenary work for the Eagles several years ago.  It was always enjoyable if not a bit tiresome. </p><p>For some reason she hated seeing him like this, degraded and injured.  Byleth placed a hand on his shoulder and conjured what little Faith magic she knew.  It washed over him, soothing some of the rope burns.  He looked up and shock spread across his face.</p><p>“Byleth! You are here with the Deer? We all thought Dimitri had you imprisoned in his compound.”</p><p>“No. No one has held me as a captive.”</p><p>“What? But Edelgard said…”</p><p>“She is lying. I escaped the Eagles and ran into Dimitri. No one captured me, except when Edelgard took me over a year ago.”</p><p>Ferdinand shook his head.  “Captured you? What are you talking about? You joined us willingly.”</p><p>Byleth frowned.  She was starting to understand why Yuri sent her in.  “That is a lie Edelgard told you, one of many I’m guessing...I’m not exactly sure how she captured me but once she had me, Hubert cursed me, made me a puppet to their will, a weapon to be used to hurt those I love against my wishes.”</p><p>“No! That cannot be true!”</p><p>“It is Ferdinand. I don’t trust Edelgard, I never have. It’s why I stopped working with the Eagles several years ago. In fact, before she captured me, I discovered that she was responsible for my father’s death.”</p><p>“What! No, that was Those Who Slither in the Dark. We had nothing to do with that.”</p><p>“Edelgard did. Just listen to what I’m trying to tell you.”  Byleth felt her throat tightened she was about to cry out of anger.  “She took me away from everyone I loved and forced me to try and kill them! I was constantly poisoned to do what she wanted! I’ve lost the most important thing to me in this world because of her!”  Tears were forming in her eyes now.  “I...I’m so fucking lost now. She took so much from me!”</p><p>Ferdinand stared at her for a moment.  “I cannot believe these lies” he said as though he was struggling. When he re-found his voice he said, “the Deer and the Lion are the ones lying to you my dear Byleth. These accusations cannot be true! I would never have agreed to such a thing and I am Edelgard’s second most trusted counselor!” </p><p>“It’s true! I’m not lying!!!” Byleth screamed, unable to hold back this pain that had been threatening her since she woke up.  Her knees gave out and she hit the cement floor hard. </p><p>Ferdinand was silent, while Byleth tried to control her sobs.  When she finally calmed down he spoke again.  “Byleth I…Please stop crying, please. I am sorry that I cannot allow myself to believe you, to believe that all I’ve been fighting for all these years has been powered by such terrible things. My mind cannot accept it.”</p><p>Byleth pulled out the dagger strapped to her hip.  She went to cut the ropes but heard a banging on the window.  Byleth paused for a second then reached forward and cupped Ferdinand’s chin, forcing him to look at her with those stunning eyes of his.</p><p>“If I cut you free with you try to hurt me?”</p><p>“No! Of course not!”  Ferdinand practically shouted. </p><p>“Will you hurt anyone else?”</p><p>“Byleth, do you not know me at all? I accept that I’ve been captured. I will not risk having my own throat cut in an attempt to escape from a place I do not know, nor would I harm others for such a fruitless venture.”</p><p>Byleth gazed into his eyes a bit longer. She was pretty sure Ferdinand was not capable of lying. Withholding the truth maybe but not outright lying.  She flicked her dagger and started cutting the ropes binds.  Ferdinand stretched his body and groaned appreciatively. </p><p>“Thank you, but I do not understand. After everything you just said, why would you trust me?”</p><p>“Because you’ve been lied to for so long you refuse to accept that Edelgard is a monster. The only way you will understand is by finding evidence yourself.”</p><p>Claude and Yuri both walked into the room.</p><p>“You want me to let him go?” Claude asked uncertainly.</p><p>“I do.”  Claude stared at Byleth for a moment, then slowly nodded his head.  Byleth turned back to Ferdinand and gently touched his cheek.  “Ferdinand I believe that you have no idea what your leader is doing behind your back. In my heart I do not think you would approve, in fact I think you would try to stop her. None of us want to keep you as a prisoner, so we will let you go but I hope you will open your eyes to what’s going on.”</p><p>“You are letting me go? But this is gang warfare...releasing a prison with nothing in return is unheard of.”</p><p>“Having a golden hearted gang member is also unheard of, but I think that’s what you are Ferdinand. I am hoping by letting you go you will look deeper into the gang you’ve supported for so long. Not for me, but for you. You deserve to know exactly what Edelgard and Hubert are doing to become successful.”</p><p>Ferdinand glanced at Claude.  The Deer leader motioned for the guard to bring the Aegir heir the rest of his belongings. </p><p>“Once he is ready, take him to a location near the safe house, something that would seem believable that he escaped on foot” Claude said to Ignatz who had just appeared behind them.   </p><p>“I...Thank you. I will not forget this.” Ferdinand said to Byleth.  “And if I discover your story to be true I...I will find some way to make this up to you Byleth.”</p><p>Byleth nodded then walked out of the room.  She needed to escape the darkness of this basement and find the sun.  </p><p> </p><p>A minute later, she walked into her room, a bit disappointed that Linhardt had finally woken up and left.  Byleth wanted to snuggle with him and try to push down all her pain that had just resurfaced.  Instead she moved out onto the balcony and let the hot summer sun wash over her.  She stood there for a few minutes before Claude was next to her.</p><p>“Are you alright?” he asked. </p><p>Byleth took a deep breath and looked at him.  Claude appeared pale, worn out; most likely hadn’t slept for a few days.  Byleth couldn’t stop herself from reaching out and stroking his cheek.</p><p>“Are you?”</p><p>“I’m fine I just need some sleep.” </p><p>“Then go get some rest. I’ll be ok. Don’t add me to your plate of worry.”</p><p>Claude grabbed her hand and kissed it.  “Too late. I will always worry about you, beautiful.”  </p><p>Byleth took two steps forward so she was in his space.  She pressed her lips to his and sank into the wonderful taste that was Claude.  He wrapped his arms around her tight, after she broke the kiss.  Byleth hugged him back and closed her eyes for a bit, savoring his embrace. </p><p>Eventually she broke the hug and looked at him.  “Please get some sleep.”</p><p>“What will you do?” he asked, lightly touching the outside of her hand.</p><p>“Punch something most likely. But Yuri mentioned going to speak with Dimitri about the code you guys found at the safehouse. I think I’ll join him, and I suspect Linhardt. He loves puzzles.”</p><p>Claude gave her a soft smile and turned to leave. She gripped his hand to keep him next to her.</p><p>“Claude would you...would you like me to lay with you until you fall asleep? I can see so many things swirling in your eyes. Despite how tired you are I bet it will be difficult to fall asleep.”</p><p>Claude’s smile brightened.  “You wouldn’t mind?”</p><p>“Not at all, just let me find Yuri and ask him to wait for me. I’ll stay with you until you fall asleep.”</p><p>Claude pulled her forward and kissed her again.  “You’re amazing, beautiful. Thank you.”  </p><p>He left her on the balcony, her fingertips brushing across her lips.  Claude’s kisses left her lips tingling just like Felix’s...</p><p>---</p><p>For some reason walking into the Lion compound this time, caused her heart to race.  The last time she walked in here was before the gala; before Dimitri told her he loved her, before Felix and his passionate kisses.  For some reason being around Claude after their heated moments and deep connections was easy; but Felix and Dimitri…</p><p>Dedue greeted her and Byleth lost her train of thought.  He guided their little party to Dimitri’s courtyard where the prince was standing to the left talking to Rodrigue, Sylvain and Felix.   When Dedue announced his guest Dimitri shook a concerned look off of his face and gave them his attention.  It was obvious the Lion leader still did not care for or trust the wolf.  Yuri gave his signature cocky grin with that little bit of heat in it, to make you think if you played your cards right you’d get a taste of him.  Byleth was a bit surprised when Dimitri only gave her a nod and immediately focused on the materials that Yuri had brought with him.  Felix didn’t even look at her. </p><p>They spread the code out on one of the tables so they could all review the materials.  </p><p>“Claude believes this is the ancient language of Shambala, but even he is at a loss for what the runes stand for. We thought maybe someone on your staff could help” Yuri said.</p><p>“I’ve seen this somewhere before…” Rodrigue said.  “These runes...there is a small church in the neutral territory that houses a few relics from Shambala. It wouldn’t hurt to look it over. Maybe something will stand out, or someone there will have information.”</p><p>“I agree. Felix, Sylvain take the wolf and go to this temple. I’ll call for Annette to assist Linhardt in researching this more” Dimitri commanded. </p><p>“Claude suggested that we continue this in his library since his resources on languages are more significant than your own” Linhardt said.</p><p>Dimitri frowned but gave his consent.  When it came to knowledge and research, Claude would always beat the Lion leader.  </p><p>Byleth watched everyone prepare to do their assigned tasks.  They all seem to forget that she was perfectly capable of helping out.</p><p>“What should I do?” she finally spoke up.</p><p>“Nothing. Stay here with me until they return from the church. Maybe we can come up with something with the information they find” Dimitri said.</p><p>“You want me to just sit here and wait?” Byleth asked, slightly angry.  “You know I am not some fragile flower. I can do something.”</p><p>Dimitri placed his hands on her shoulder.  “I know how powerful you are, but they still want you back Byleth.”</p><p>“I’d be with Yuri, Sylvain and Felix. The three of them are already incredibly powerful. I’ll be fine.”</p><p>“No” Dimitri said with a deep command in his voice.  The second he heard his response he attempted to soften it.  “I’m sorry Byleth. I...you are too important to risk on something those three can handle on their own.” </p><p>Byleth glanced at the other’s in the room.  She could tell they each agreed with him.  Her eyes rested on Felix who was staring at her so intently she wanted to scream.  Byleth broke free from Dimitri’s touch and walked out of the room.  Now she really needed to punch something. </p><p>She was surprised when Felix was the one who caught up with her in front of the door to the training grounds.  He grabbed her arm and halted her progress.</p><p>“Where are you going?” he asked, obviously worried she was about to leave and run into trouble by herself. </p><p>Byleth ripped her arm out of his grasp.  “No where. I’m going to be a good little girl and stay here since I’m useless” she spat, then pushed open the door to the training grounds.</p><p>“You’re not useless” he said, following after her.  “You know why we all want you to stay.”</p><p>Byleth stopped and looked at him.  Felix clearly wasn’t expecting her to stop, so he almost walked into her.  Byleth stared at his handsome face, trying to figure out exactly what he was thinking.  Sometimes Felix wore his emotions on his sleeves, other times he was like an emotionless wall.  Right now he was trying to be emotionless but his eyes were giving him away.  It was infuriating her for some reason.  Why did he feel like he needed to keep his emotional wall up around her if they had supposedly been so close at one point? </p><p>“I know why everyone else wants me to stay. Some of them love me and are genuinely concerned about me. The others fear me back in the hands of the Eagles because they see me as a weapon.”  Byleth poked a finger into Felix’s chest.  “You! I have no idea which category you fall into.”</p><p>Felix looked like Byleth had slapped him.  He grabbed the hand that was poking him and held it tightly.  “You have no idea? Are you fucking kidding me Byleth!” he shouted at her.  “You really are fucking oblivious!”  Felix let her go and turned his back to her.  “Stop pouting that we all want you to live” he said as he walked out the door. </p><p>--</p><p>Byleth spent the next two hours rigorously training.  She went all out until her body started to tire, and her mind began playing tricks on her.  The physical exertion was no longer pushing out her negative thoughts.  She gave up, took a quick shower, then went off to find Dimitri.  She really didn’t want to talk to him but the word Shambala kept echoing in her mind, along with the things Felix had shouted at her...</p><p>The prince was in his study, reviewing a large map.  He looked up when she entered and immediately moved to greet her.</p><p>“Byleth, I apologize again if it seemed like I was trying to command you, I…”</p><p>“You care about me, I understand” she said, cutting him off.  She wasn’t in the mood to talk about it.  But then she saw a pained look in his eyes.  Byleth frowned.  “I’m sorry Dimitri. I didn’t mean to sound so cold. I’m just not used to being sheltered so much.”</p><p>“I understand” he said.  “I apologize for being overprotective. I just couldn’t bear to lose you again. I promise if there is a tactical reason for you being in the field I will not ignore it as long as the risk isn’t too great, or if I can fight beside you.”</p><p>Byleth stared at the Lion leader.  He really did mean a lot to her.  She shouldn’t be so hard on him for wanting to keep her safe.  Byleth leaned up on tip toes and gave him a quick kiss.  He grabbed her jaw and kept her from moving away, adding his own much deeper kiss.  When he let her go they both shared a smile.</p><p>“Can I see a map area of the church Rodrigue sent the guys to?” Byleth asked, before she forgot why she came up here to begin with.  </p><p>Dimitri nodded and guided her back to where he just was.  The map was a large-scale version of Fodlan.  It was colored in based on what pieces of territory each gang owned.  It was mostly gold, blue and red with some purple to represent the wolves and a few other colors to show the minor gangs.  Most of the churches were considered neutral, except the main church of Serios which denounced the Eagles outright.  They accepted the protection of the Lions, which put them in danger, but Edelgard hated the Church, specifically Rhea anyway, so they were safer aligning with one of the major gangs.  This small church that Felix, Sylvain and Yuri went to, was near the Rhodes Coast, between the Lions and the Eagles territories.</p><p>“This church is very close to some shipping docks…” Byleth said out loud but mostly to herself.  “Can you give me a map of just this area?”</p><p>Dimitri complied and dug out a smaller map.  Byleth spread it out and examined the area.  Besides the church, it was mostly a commercial buildings.  Not far from the fish sellers near the pier, or the large industrial warehouse, mostly owned by construction companies, and close to several restaurants and small shops.  “The Church of Creator….” Byleth said out loud again, when her finger brushed over the church’s name.  “Does that mean Sothis?”</p><p>“I’m not sure” Dimitri responded.  “You would think they would just call the church by her name then.”  </p><p>“You would…”  Byleth ran her fingers through her hair.  “Do you have any surveillance on this place?”</p><p>“I’m not sure. I can bring Rodrigue in and ask him. Why?”</p><p>“Because I do not think it’s actually a church.”</p><p>“What? Why?”</p><p>“All of the churches are named after saints. Why isn’t this one unless it’s not a church.”</p><p>Dimitri hit a buzzer and called for Rodrigue.  “If that’s true then why has Rhea said nothing about it? Wouldn’t she immediately know something was wrong?”</p><p>Shock trickled down Byleth’s spine.  “Because Rhea is using it as a front for something!” </p><p>Rodrigue walked into the room and Byleth filled him in on her thoughts.  He handed her a binder of a few photographs taken near the church.  They didn’t have anything specific to the church but Rodrigue was organized and kept photographs based on areas.  Byleth flipped through the photographs that went back over a year.  She was surprised when she saw herself in a few of them.</p><p>“Were you keeping eyes on me?” she asked Rodrigue.  </p><p>“Not specifically. We try to keep all eyes on the Eagles, why?”</p><p>She showed him the photos of her walking close to the church.  One actually showed her going inside. </p><p>“I think the guys are in danger. Get them out now!” she shouted.</p><p> </p><p>---</p><p>Byleth was pacing around Dimitri’s courtyard.  Again Dimitri made her stay behind.  She would have argued but it would have delayed the back up they were sending for the guys already at the church.  The Lion leader was sitting at the table, next to a phone.  He was watching Byleth pace.  He kept trying to soothe her worries but nothing he said was helping.  Byleth felt tears in her eyes.  She was so worried that something was going to happen to them, and she felt responsible.</p><p>Dimitri was suddenly in front of her, his hands on her shoulders.  “Beloved please calm down. Everything will be alright. You said it yourself, those three are incredibly powerful.”</p><p>“But what if they walked into a trap!”</p><p>“If Rhea is responsible for that church I doubt the Eagles could set up a trap.”  Dimitri wiped the few tears from her eyes.  “Byleth being so worried is only upsetting you. It does no good.”</p><p>“But I have nothing I can do! I’m useless like this.”</p><p>“No you are not. If you weren’t here with me we would have never have known that the Eagles were involved in that church for sure or what was going on. I would have never sent back up. Now you must calm down. We are on high alert. I’ve never seen you so upset before. Typically you handle these situations much better than me.”</p><p>Byleth bit her lip. She was pretty sure what he said was true. Why was she so distraught about this? Because she felt responsible? Because of that terrible interaction between her and Felix before he left? Or was it because... </p><p>The phone rang and Dimitri immediately went for it.  It took Byleth a moment to realize he had left her side.  By the time she did Dimitri was hanging up the phone.  She grabbed his shirt and looked up at him waiting for answers.</p><p>“You were right. It was a trap.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A bit more gang plot this chapter.  Hope you guys enjoyed it!  Also sorry for ending on a cliff hanger, it just worked out that way :) </p><p> </p><p>Thanks for reading and commenting!!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Giving In</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Again, Byleth was in the training hall.  Her fingers gripped the wooden sword tight as she attacked the dummy with all her strength.  </p><p>She had been right...Yuri, Sylvain and Felix were attacked...Sylvain almost died, but Felix somehow saved him.  They were all back in the Lion compound but Byleth couldn’t see them because they were being healed.  All she could do was swing this fucking fake sword at this fake person.  For the fifth time today, she wanted to scream.  Her mind kept repeating Felix’s words to her when he left.  That whole interaction hurt...it just hurt.  Why did she say that she didn’t know if he cared about her?  Why did he snap at her?  She needed to see him, needed to apologize.  </p><p>“Someone is worked up” the smooth voice of the Wolves’ leader said. </p><p>Byleth glanced at Yuri and moved over to him.  He took a surprised step back at their closeness as her hand reached out to push his lavender hair back in order to examine a scratch of his forehead.  </p><p>“Why aren’t you healed?” Byleth asked.</p><p>“Because the other’s took precedence.”</p><p>Byleth grabbed his hand and pulled him to sit on a bench.  She called forth her poor excuse for Faith magic and tended to the nasty looking cut on the pretty man’s face.    </p><p>“Byleth you don’t have to heal me, although I’d be lying if I said I hated the view” he teased.</p><p>Byleth narrowed her eyes at him. She considered moving her body a bit back from him, but figured that would only give him more satisfaction.  </p><p>“What made you call for backup?” Yuri asked.</p><p>“I saw some photographs of me going into that place while I was under the Eagles spell.”  Byleth pulled her magic back then lightly brushed a finger along the pink skin.  “Anywhere else?”</p><p>Yuri watched her with guarded eyes for a moment, before undoing the buttons on the black shirt he was wearing.  A cut sat below his ribs.  Byleth called forth more of her magic and pushed it into the wound.  </p><p>“You knew nothing of that place?” she asked.</p><p>“Sadly no. Like I told you before, Edelgard and I may have worked together but we rarely told each other anything important. We mostly just agreed to stay out of each other’s way and help each other out when we ran into the Deer and Lion.”</p><p>“Why does she trust TWSITD?”</p><p>“I doubt that she does. Like me, she is just using them for some sort of gain.”  Yuri reached up and lightly brushed a hand over Byleth’s collarbone.  “That’s what gang leaders do, my friend. We use people to get what we want.”</p><p>Byleth ignored the way his fingers felt against her skin.  “I don’t think that’s true.”</p><p>Yuri gave her a dark smile.  “It’s absolutely true. I don’t know a single one who isn’t like that.”</p><p>Byleth starred in those beautiful lavender eyes.  Yuri believed everything he just said and he could tell that Byleth thought differently.  It amused him.  She considered defending Dimitri and Claude but knew he would just ignore her.  </p><p>“Have you tested them yet?” he asked as he buttoned his shirt back up.    </p><p>Byleth bit her lip.  She didn’t want to admit that she’d pushed Dimitri to tell her about his eye.  She wasn’t proud of that.  She hadn’t really tried Claude yet but it was hard not to trust him when he so willingly listened to her and did everything he could for her.  They had both requested her wishes, except when it came to putting her on the front lines.  </p><p>Yuri watched her facial expression then smiled.  He stood up, placed a kiss on her lips then walked away with a quick ‘thanks for the healing’.</p><p>Byleth watched him leave not really sure how to feel after their dialogue.  She went to pick up her sword, but after taking up a stance, she realized she just couldn’t do this anymore today.  She’d go check on the guys again. </p><p>When Byleth arrived at the hallway that separated Felix and Sylvain’s rooms, Mercedes walked out the room Sylvain was in.  The gremory looked exhausted.</p><p>“How is he?” Byleth asked, almost frightening Mercedes.</p><p>“He is unconscious right now and will be for a while. Sylvain took several attacks, he is pretty banged up. I ran out of power so Linhardt is still working on him.”  </p><p>Byleth felt tears well up in her eyes again.  Mercedes lightly touched her shoulder.  “Don’t worry Byleth. He will survive.”  She managed a weak smile.  “I heard you were the one responsible for the back up forces. If you hadn’t done that they all would have been killed. The Eagles had a large group watching that place since Claude ransacked their safehouse last night. They were afraid we’d ruin whatever they are trying to do.”</p><p>Byleth didn’t feel like she had succeeded… “What about Felix?”</p><p>“Annette is with him. He took a shot from an arrow, trying to protect Sylvain. It...almost hit his heart.”</p><p>“Don’t worry Byleth” Annette said as she joined them in the hallway.  “He is good now! I healed up the arrow wound. His chest might be a bit tender for a few days but he is battle ready if this were an actual war” Annette said with a slight smile, obviously trying to get Byleth to lighten up. </p><p>“Can I see him?”</p><p>“Sure.”</p><p>Byleth placed her hand on the door knob. It took her a second to actually turn it.  She was nervous to confront him after everything that had happened since yesterday.  She took a deep breath, turned the knob and walked into the room.  Felix didn’t look up right away, most likely assuming it was Annette.  He was trying to take off the chest bandage, apparently certain he did not need it.  Byleth leaned against the door, unable to move forward.  She felt like she might be intruding all of a sudden.  Maybe he didn’t want to see her… Byleth was about to leave when she heard her name.</p><p>“Why are you lurking near the door?” he asked.</p><p>Byleth could see his intense vermillion eyes from across the room.  Her stomach tightened, once again unable to read his emotion.</p><p>“I...came to check on you...then realized...you might not want to see me.”</p><p>Felix scoffed.  “Why do you always think that? Come help me take this damn wrap off. My arm is tight from the injury and I can’t reach the back hook.”</p><p>Byleth hesitated for a second then walked to him.  She climbed on his bed and reached out to unhook the wrap.  Felix yanked it off and threw it on the floor. </p><p>“I don’t understand why healers always bandage us when they’ve stitched everything up with magic.”</p><p>Byleth knew the answer to that but she couldn’t form any words.  Her eyes were fixed on his back, her hand lightly touching his bare skin.  Her throat was tight again.  </p><p>Felix must have turned around because her hand was now in his, his eyes drawing her vision.  </p><p>“What’s wrong? You know Syl is going to be alright don’t you?”  She nodded dumbly.  “Then why do you look like you’re going to cry?”</p><p>“I...I don’t know. I just...I was so worried…”</p><p>“Since when do you get so worried you cry? That’s not like you at all.”</p><p>“I thought...I thought I was going to lose you” she said.  For some reason, saying it out loud clicked something into place for her.  She wasn’t sure what it was, but maybe if she could stop crying so damn much she’d figure it out.</p><p>“Byleth…” Felix said softly, his hand suddenly on her cheek.  “You saved us all. You didn’t lose anyone. Turns out you weren’t useless after all.”</p><p>Byleth just stared at him.  He was teasing her.  He was being sweet and teasing her at the same time.  Suddenly she was incredibly angry again.  She punched him hard in the arm, causing Felix to curse, then tried to climb out of the bed.  Felix’s grabbed her hips and stopped her from moving.  He pulled her back to him and kissed her.  For a second she was grateful to feel his lips again.  He was alive and healed.  Byleth almost whined, when he pulled back, not satisfied. </p><p>“Really...Thank you for saving us” he said softly.</p><p>Byleth furrowed her brows.  “Was that another thank you kiss?” she asked, fire still boiling in her stomach.  He nodded.  “No! You don’t get to do that anymore!”</p><p>“Why? You didn’t mind before” he protested.</p><p>“Because I know what your real kisses are like now and that wasn’t even close!”</p><p>Felix stared at her for a moment.  Then he smirked.  It made him look incredibly sexy and she just wanted to punch him again.</p><p>“So you’re mad at me, but you want me to actually kiss you?”  Byleth bit her lip and didn’t say anything.  Felix chuckled.  “Does that mean you have an answer for me?”</p><p>Byleth shifted from him a bit, trying to breathe again.  She could never breathe right when he was so close to her.  She looked down at the black bed and began to play with the comforter.  “I do but...don’t feel obligated to respond to anything I did yesterday. I think I put you in an awkward situation. I didn’t mean to. I just couldn’t stop myself...the way we were moving together...those flashes of my memories...then kissing you just...felt so right. I’m not sure what our relationship status was when I left but...I’m sober now and I still want you. I haven't been able to get you out of my mind since yesterday. Then today...you wouldn’t look at me when I got here, and you snapped at me...which was probably deserved…so we can forget yesterday if it’s not what you really want…”</p><p>Byleth couldn’t look at him.  She had been on an emotional rollercoaster all day.  She didn’t want to talk about her feelings right now, she just wanted to feel him against her, to know he was alive and well and hers even for a few moments.  </p><p>It felt like forever before he did anything, even though it was probably only a few seconds.<br/>His hand slowly moved along her cheek, tilting it up slightly.  His lips brushed along hers briefly.  “Byleth...how many times do I have to touch you or kiss you until you realize how out of character it is for me?”  His lips pressed against hers again, his body shifting closer.  “You know I’m not touchy. You’ve said it yourself several times since you’ve returned.”  Another kiss but this time it was on her neck.  “Your own mind has shown you small glimpses of what we’ve done.”  Another kiss, a bit lower on her neck.  “I guess I’ll just have to show you how much I want you for you to finally believe it.”</p><p>Felix’s mouth was on hers again.  His kisses became fast and heated making Byleth’s body come to life with want.  She immediately pulled him against her and returned his passions.  Their tongues danced as their hands explored each other’s flesh.  Felix moved between her legs and began grinding his cock along her core.  He was already rock hard and it made Byleth moan.  She wrapped her legs around him, so he could press harder against her.  Waves of pleasure were already washing over her as Felix went back to kissing her neck, occasionally biting and sucking, leaving marks behind.  Everything he did felt like liquid fire.  His cock pressing against her clit, as his hips kept moving.  Byleth couldn’t hold back as an orgasm crashed into her.  </p><p>Felix stopped moving and let her relax.  He placed a few soft kisses along her bruised neck, before he lifted her shirt up and started massaging and kissing her breasts.  Byleth moaned softly as he explored.  She ran her fingers through his soft inky hair and moved her hips to grind along his cock.  </p><p>“Fe...I can’t wait any more. Please…” she begged softly.  “I need to feel all of you.”</p><p>Felix looked up at her and she forgot to breathe.  His eyes looked like orange liquid, entrancing her, filling her with even more desire.  What the hell was this man doing to her?  He let out a little growl and started pulling her leggings down.  She reached forward and freed his cock.  She didn’t want to wait for them to be naked, and he clearly didn’t either.  His rock hard cock was already pushing inside of her.  </p><p>Pain shot through Byleth’s head.  She dug her nails into Felix’s back and he hissed out in pain.  “Wait!” she tried to say.  Felix got the message, his hands on her face.</p><p>“What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” </p><p>His concerned voice washed over.  She felt him move to pull out, but Byleth grabbed his hips, keeping them connected.  She took a few deep breaths then looked up at him.  “For some reason...sometimes when you touch me...I get these shooting pains in my head...like my brain is trying to remember something...but it hasn’t caught up enough yet.”</p><p>Felix stroke her cheeks.  “Do you want to stop?” he said so softly it made her shiver.</p><p>“Goddess no...but if it keeps happening I’ll need you to go slow.”</p><p>“Byleth if this is hurting you…”</p><p>Byleth shifted up onto her elbows so she could kiss him.  “Please Felix...I don’t want to be separated from you just yet.”</p><p>Felix’s eyes flicked across her face, looking for something.  When she nodded, he started to thrust slow and deep.  He kept lightly stroking her cheek, constantly checking on her pain.  She knew she was wincing but the more he moved, the more the pain dissolved.  When it finally receded, all she felt was intense pleasure.  </p><p>Byleth pulled him down and captured his lips.  She was so grateful for him all of a sudden.  He was being so sweet to her.  Felix groaned when she clenched her folds tighter around his cock.</p><p>“I’m ok now. Please fuck me harder.”</p><p>Felix shifted his hands from her face.  One moved under her ass and angled her to an incredibly pleasing spot.  He latched onto her neck and sucked hard.  Felix fucked her fast, his hips pushing his cock into the perfect spot.  After a few minutes of these intense actions, Byleth cried out again, another orgasm taking over.  She clung to Felix as her body shook with pleasure.  Felix moaned against her breast, his own climax crashing into him.  Byleth could feel his hot semen on her lower stomach as his breath washed along her neck.  </p><p>They both lay together, trying to calm their breathing.  When their bodies almost returned to normal, Felix shifted up and moved off the bed.  Byleth watched him walk into the bathroom and she heard the sound of running water.  He threw her a wet washcloth then vanished back in the bathroom.  Byleth cleaned herself up and sat on the bed unsure of what she should do.  She really wanted to join him, but he hadn’t said a word since they finished.  </p><p>Felix was suddenly back in front of her.  His mouth against hers, his hands pulling her towards the edge of the bed.  “What are you waiting for? Come join me.”</p><p>Byleth smiled and let him drag her into the bathroom.  Felix actually had a shower with a built in bench.  Byleth’s mind flashed with images of her and Felix fucking on it.  So, they had fucked before...  She didn’t really doubt it after; their bodies just fit so well together.  But it was nice of her memories to confirm.  Now if they’d only tell her who she loved…</p><p>Felix got in the shower first and Byleth took a moment to admire his naked form.  She was actually jealous of the water traveling down his skin.  Felix was just so damn sexy.  Every inch of him was lithe muscle.  His stomach had to have been sculpted by the Goddess to torture her, it was an absolutley perfect six pack with those sexy V lines at his hips.  She glanced up and noticed Felix grinning at her.</p><p>He grabbed her hand and pulled her into the scolding hot water.  “You don’t have to keep staring.”  He kissed her and made sure their fronts were pressed together.  “I’m all yours to keep touching, baby.”</p><p>Baby...the word crashed into her hard.  She felt dizzy with it, but it only lasted a second.  Byleth wasn’t sure what the hell happened.  She was already back in the moment, responding to Felix’s mouth.  </p><p>“If you’re mine does that mean I’m yours?” Byleth tried to say as his mouth moved back to her neck and his hands traveled along her ass.  </p><p>“Goddess, I want you to be mine” he said gruffly, then moved to her collarbone.  </p><p>Byleth arched back, her hands on his sexy perfectly muscled arms.  It was so difficult to focus on what he was saying.  </p><p>More images of them together in the shower, flooded her mind.  It seemed to be after they trained together because they were usually sweaty and sometimes bleeding before they entered the shower.  Everything thing they did was hot and heavy, struggling to actually clean themselves when they just wanted to touch and fuck each other.  That’s exactly how she felt right now.  She just wanted more of him, so much more.  </p><p>When her mind finally clicked back to the present, Felix had a soaped up rag in his hand.  His hand and the rag were gliding across her body, cleaning and touching as he went.  When he got to her core, he made it a point to finger her a bit, until she started moaning, then pulled them out and flashed her a wicked grin.  </p><p>Byleth plucked the rag from his hand and started washing him, making sure to press her breasts against his skin, and let her hands lightly brush along his cock and tesitcles.  She stroked him a bit with a soapy hand, cleaning him while pleasuring.  When she could hear his soft moans she stopped and repeated the smirk he gave her earlier.  </p><p>Felix pulled her mouth to his.  Byleth sank into his heated kisses while his cock brushed along her lower stomach.  She let her hands explore his smooth chest, occasionally pinching one of his nipples between her fingers.  Eventually both of them were teasing the other’s sex.  Felix’s kisses became rougher the more he got her to moan on his fingers.  His cock was so hard in her hand that Byleth knew she needed to feel it inside of her again.  She turned around and bent down so her hands were on the shower bench, her ass facing Felix, inviting him to fuck her again.  He eagerly complied, his cock already pushing back inside of her.  Felix fucked her harder than before.  It was so intense, so damn passionate that she crumbled quickly.  She begged him to stop after being so overly sensitive from her orgasm but he refused.  Instead he moved his hand to her clit and continued the intense assault.  Felix must know her body pretty well because another orgasm ripped through her, even more extreme then the last one.  His own followed shortly, his seed coating her ass.</p><p>Byleth almost collapsed forward, her legs shaking.  Felix helped her to stand so she could clean herself off.  He then pulled her back to him, capturing her lips again.  They kissed until the water turned cold.  </p><p>Felix left the bathroom, pulled on a pair of navy boxers and sat on the couch in his living space.  He lit a few candles, preferring the small flames to electric lights.  The sun was beginning to set, supplying little light to the room anymore.  Byleth went to his closest, pulled out a button up shirt and wrapped it around herself before joining him on the couch.  </p><p>Felix stared at the closest candle for a bit, before he opened a drawer in the coffee table and pulled out a flask.  He took a gulp and handed it to Byleth, who followed his actions.  More rye whiskey… Byleth handed the flask back and sat with her back against the armrest of the couch, so she could look at Felix.  Somehow he seemed relaxed and tense at the same time.  She had no idea how he could do that.  Byleth shifted forward and let a hand move across the fresh pink skin of his arrow injury.  He tensed slightly.  </p><p>“Are you ok?” she asked, unsure of what else to say. </p><p>“I’m fine” he said so softly she almost didn’t hear him.  He went back to staring at the candle.</p><p>Byleth suddenly felt like she should leave.  Like she was intruding.</p><p>“Fe...do you want to be alone?”</p><p>Felix’s head snapped to look at her.  His gaze fixed on her face then slowly moved down her body.  Noticeable heat swirled in them as he took her in wearing his shirt.  </p><p>“Do you want to leave?”</p><p>Byleth realized he was genuinely asking her.  He wasn’t just blocking her question.  Byleth swallowed hard, having a difficult time focusing on his words and not the way the candle light flickered across his amazing chest, or added more mystery to his eyes.  She bit her lip to stop herself from saying ‘Goddess no’ and shook her head instead.  </p><p>“Good” was all he said before reaching out and pulling her to lay against his chest, so they could both watch the small candle flames dance.  </p><p>This felt so nice, just laying here on warm flesh and watching the light of candles flicker.  Byleth couldn’t help but lightly trace her fingers along any part of his body she could reach.  Despite how scarred his body was, it still felt nice under her touch.  Felix’s rough hands were moving along her thigh and lower back.  Occasionally he’d pull his eyes away from the candles and glance at her.  He always looked like he wanted to say something but never did.  </p><p>The heat was gone and all that was left was comfort.  Byleth really enjoyed laying with him like this.  She couldn’t recall ever being so relaxed in silence with another person next to her.  She felt so calm and worry free, her mind only focusing on his skin, their breathing, and the small flames. </p><p>They both fell asleep like that for a few hours.  Eventually, Felix picked Byleth up and moved them both to the bed.  She was barely awake, when he pulled her back to his chest and whispered three sweet words in her ear.  Most likely she had misheard him, but either way she curled into him and fell back asleep.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Finally some Felix x Byleth love making :)   </p><p> </p><p>Next up, the gang war claims a victim and Byleth is left trying to find someone who could be in danger. </p><p>Thank you for reading and commenting!!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Loss</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A loss shakes the core of the Lions and Byleth tries desperately to protect someone.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Byleth’s dreams were filled with flashes of images.  For once she could not pinpoint a specific memory, just flickers of places and feelings.  She was almost positive she saw both Claude and Felix in them but could not be sure.  Her heart was aching as she desperately tried to understand what was happening in her mind.  There was no clear answer...no magical solution yet.  Even in her sleep she was frustrated, but at least she didn’t feel alone...as least she wasn’t alone...</p><p>Byleth woke up feeling oddly cold.  She stretched out, searching for a body that should be next to her but found none.  Slowly the memories of yesterday flooded her mind.  She sat up and glanced around the dark space that was Felix’s room.  The swordsman was gone.  Byleth moved about the room to see if he had left her note but found none.  She considered waiting for him to return but thought better of it.  Maybe he regretted what happened…she considered.  Byleth frowned, got dressed then left the room.  </p><p>Once in the hallway she softly knocked on the door across from Felix’s.  When she didn’t hear a response so she gently pushed it open.  Seeing only the sleeping figure on the bed she walked inside.  </p><p>Sylvain was asleep, his face flushed, his hands gripping the sheets.  Byleth gently touched his forehead and realized he had a fever.  It must be the reaction to the deep healing he needed yesterday.  Byleth went to the bathroom and wet a rag with cold water.  She then returned to Sylvain’s side and tried to wipe the sweat from his brow, neck and chest without waking him.  Softly, she hummed a tune, trying to soothe his mind while she cooled his body.  Eventually he completely relaxed, and his face looked peaceful.  Byleth lightly ran her fingers through his beautiful hair, kissed his cheek then made to get up.  </p><p>The door opened just as she rose.  Mercedes gave her a wide-eyed look then suddenly motioned her into the hallway.</p><p>“Byleth what are you doing here? I thought you’d be with Felix.”</p><p>“Why?” Byleth said, noticing how pale Mercedes’ face was.</p><p>“You don’t know what happened?”  Byleth shook her head.  “Last night...Rodrigue took a few of the Lions back to that church.  Lady Rhea gave them permission to look around after the Eagles attacked Sylvain and Felix.  When his group emerged, they were attacked by TWSITD. Rodrigue...didn’t make it.”</p><p>“What?” Byleth said, cold shooting down her spine.  “Rodrigue is...dead?”</p><p>Mercedes nodded and lightly touched Byleth’s shoulder.  “I know you don’t have your memories back but...trust me when I say Felix needs you, especially with Sylvain incapacitated.”</p><p>“Where is he?”</p><p>“I have no idea. Ever since they brought Rodrigue’s body back, Felix vanished. I’d hoped you were with him.”</p><p> Byleth frowned.  “Maybe Dimitri knows. Can you tell me where he is?”</p><p>“Probably still with Rodrigue’s body.”</p><p>---</p><p>Mercedes had been right, the leader of the Blue Lion’s stood next to Rodrigue’s body in the decesist's room.  His hands were gripping the sheets of the bed so tight that his knuckles were white.  </p><p>Byleth hesitated before approaching him.  She knew how much Rodrigue meant to Dimitri.  He was like a father after his own passed away.  Instead she took a moment to look at Rodrigue.  She regretted it the second she did.  Felix looked so much like his father.  For a moment her brain made her think it was the swordsman.  Byleth had to take a deep breath to ease the knot in her chest. She cleared her throat so Dimitri knew she was there, then gently touched his arm.  The Lion leader stood still and did not acknowledge her right away.  After several moments of silence Byleth finally spoke.  “Dima, whatever you need I’m right here.”</p><p>Dimitri glanced at her for a moment, then wrapped his arm around her back and pulled her to him.  Byleth hugged him and tried to emanate all the love she had for him.  She was never good with words so she tried to emit her feelings instead, hoping it worked.  She felt Dimitri shaking in her arms.  He suddenly buried his head into her neck.  Byleth felt tears coat her skin.  She held him until he stopped shaking, then guided him to sit on a chair.  Dimitri pulled her into his lap so he could keep nuzzling her neck.  Byleth ran her fingers through his hair and held him tight.  She had never seen him so upset before, it broke her heart.  They stayed like this for at least ten minutes until she heard Dimitri say something.</p><p>“I’m sorry” he said against her neck.</p><p>“What for?”</p><p>“I’ve hurt you.”</p><p>Byleth furrowed her brow, confused.  “No you didn’t.”</p><p>“Yes I did!” he practically shouted as he pulled away to look at her.  </p><p>Dimitri looked so upset that Byleth had no idea how to respond.  Instead she reached out to stroke his face.  He grabbed her hand roughly, his expression a bit wild.</p><p>“I can’t live with this. I have to tell you something….especially after what happened.”</p><p>“Dima, I’m sure this can wait.”</p><p>“No!” he shouted. “Rodrigue is dead and I’ve been too distracted trying to get what I want. I’ve been selfish and hurtful.”</p><p>Byleth just watched him, realizing nothing she said was going to help.</p><p>“Ever since we got you back my mind has been split between two things. Instead of just focusing on destroying Edelgard, I’ve also been thinking of you. I’ve tried to woo you and trick you into believing we were once something we’ve never been. If I had paid more attention to the Eagles maybe this would not have happened!”  Dimitri gripped her shoulders roughly.  “Byleth I have no right to ask this but please forgive me.”</p><p>“Dima...I don’t understand. You’ve done nothing to me but try to help me and told me you loved me.”</p><p>“Because I’m selfish! I should have kept that to myself...We were never together before because I was a coward! I knew I loved you and I should have told you. Instead I tried to repair a damaged relationship because it seemed like the right thing to do.”</p><p>Byleth reached out to him again but he shook her slightly.  “Dima, please don’t think telling me you're feelings did anything but fill me with love. You didn’t hurt me.” </p><p>“But I hurt someone else...and it was selfish. I was hoping you loved me back, that even if your memories returned you’d already be in love with me and...you would stay.”  Dimitri placed his forehead on her shoulder.  “Byleth, I am a horrible being. Please...just leave me be.”</p><p>Dimitri let her go and tried to stand.  Byleth did not get off of his lap, but instead pressed her lips against his.  He gave her a surprised look when she pulled away.  “I do love you Dimitri. I always have and I always will. Of all the things to be upset about right now, please don’t be upset about this. You told me the truth. That’s what matters. I forgive you because you are not a horrible person. All you did was tell me your true feelings.”  </p><p>Byleth kissed his forehead then stood up.  “I hate to leave you right now but I need to find Felix. If you need me for anything please tell me.”  </p><p>Dimitri grabbed her hand then kissed the back of it.  “You are too good for this world Byleth.”</p><p>Byleth frowned, then leaned forward and kissed him again.  “That’s not true.”  </p><p>It hurt to leave Dimitri like that but Byleth had to find Felix.  She was also still trying to digest everything the Lion leader had just said.  Dimitri was trying to get her even though they hadn’t been together before… He thought they could love each other to the point that she would stay even if her memories came back… She wondered if he hadn’t confessed if that could have happened…</p><p>Byleth went back to Felix’s room to see if he returned, then searched the rest of the compound.  She called his father’s house to see if he was there but the secretary that answered the phone promised that he was not.  Byleth felt panicked, she didn’t know what to do.  Where was he? Hopefully not seeking revenge alone.  That thought scared her more than any other.  </p><p>Byleth went back into his room, grabbed her daggers that she had yet to equip then left for Claude’s.  She knew it was dangerous to go alone but she couldn’t shake this fear sitting in her stomach.</p><p>Byleth got out of the escort car and made for the entrance of Claude’s building.  She was greeted by the lavender eyed Wolf leader.  Yuri was leaning against the wall, smoking a clove cigarette.  He left a large dark puff of smoke when he exhaled then smiled at Byleth.  Most of Yuri’s smiles looked like he was about to eat you, but that despite how much it would hurt you’d probably enjoy it a bit. </p><p>“Good morning friend. You look like something is chasing you. Anything I can help with?”</p><p>Byleth stared at him for a moment.  “You don’t know what happened?”</p><p>Yuri took another drag from his clove.  When he exhaled again he flicked the black cigarette with his hand, letting ash fall to the ground.  “Of course I know that your swordsman’s father is dead.”</p><p>“Then why do you look like you don’t have a care in the world?”</p><p>Yuri chuckled.  “I always look like this, gorgeous. Now care to tell me what you need?”</p><p>“I need to find Felix.”</p><p>“Of course you do” Yuri said, pushing himself off the wall.  “I actually can’t help you with that, although I did see him rush out of the Lion’s compound like a lost puppy. Even in that state he managed to evade my spies...I’d love to have him on my team.”  Yuri stopped his sentence, clearly noting Byleth’s angry expression.  “Anyway my dear you might want to check in with the golden leader.”</p><p>Byleth wanted to shake Yuri.  Every word he spoke was always thought out and intentional.  If she had the time she could read into him better because something he just said was tugging at her mind. </p><p>Byleth walked into the compound and found Claude and Linhardt in the library.  The two men had a large table covered with books and manuscripts.  They were still trying to decipher the code the Eagles left in their warehouse.  </p><p>They both looked up at her when she got close enough.  Linhardt moved to her and gave her a quick hug then went back to his work.  Claude just watched her with an uncertain expression on his face.  </p><p>“Yuri said I should check in.”</p><p>“We are making progress on these codes. They look to be addresses but we haven't figured a complete one out yet” Claude said.</p><p>“Anything else?” Byleth asked, trying to keep the frustration out of her voice. </p><p>“The Eagles and TWSITD are more active. Since last night they’ve been moving a lot of money and people around. I have no idea what they are planning but I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s another attack on the church, or Dimitri and I. They are doing things...a bit strangely, like they are rushed for time. I’m not sure what kind of goal they have that would have a deadline.”</p><p>“I see…”</p><p>Claude just stared at her for a moment. “How are the Lions?”</p><p>“Dimitri is...struggling. Sylvain is still unconscious and no one can find Felix. Everyone else just looks...defeated.”</p><p>Claude sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.  He reached out a hand to Byleth and she took it, immediately wrapping her arms around his neck and inhaling his intoxicating scent.  </p><p>“What’s wrong beautiful?”</p><p>“I need to find Felix.”     </p><p>“Why? Do you think he is in danger?”</p><p>“I don’t know” she said, muffled into his shirt.  “I just have this cold feeling in my stomach, that he might do something drastic.”</p><p>Claude kissed her forehead.  “By, despite how worked up Felix can get I’ve never seen him just charge into battle with little regard for his own life. I’ve seen him sloppy and emotional, but even then he is still a difficult opponent. He is probably just laying low somewhere, mourning in solitude.”</p><p>“Goddess, I hope you’re right” Byleth said, hugging Claude tighter. </p><p>“Is there anything I can do to help you find him?”</p><p>Byleth examined his face.  Claude appeared genuine but there was a bit of pain in his voice.  She doubted it was because of Rodrigue.  She was pretty certain they weren’t close.  “I don’t know...have any of your people seen him?”  </p><p>“Not since yesterday.”</p><p>“And you checked the Lion compound, his father’s and Sylvain’s” Claude asked. </p><p>“I didn’t check Sylvain’s but I have no idea why he’d go there without Syl.”</p><p>“I wouldn’t be surprised if Felix has an apartment somewhere in the Fhirdiad territory. Even he seems like he would need somewhere to escape once in a while” Claude deduced.</p><p>“He definitely does” Linhardt chimed in.</p><p>“What!” Byleth said moving to the emerald haired scholar.  “He has an apartment? Do you know where?”</p><p>“I’m sorry I don’t but I bet Sylvain knows. He might wake up soon and you could ask him” Linhardt said, trying to be helpful.</p><p>“How do you know he has an apartment?” Claude asked.</p><p>Linhardt looked at Byleth.  “Wait, I knew where his apartment was?” Byleth asked.  Linhardt nodded. </p><p>“Of all the times not to remember something!” she said frustrated and let herself fall into a chair. </p><p>Two men watched her for a bit before Claude moved to a phone.  Byleth heard him talk to someone at the Lion compound and asked to be notified when Sylvain woke up.  </p><p>“I can just go there and wait” Byleth said when he hung up the phone.</p><p>“Beautiful. don’t take this the wrong way but you suck at just waiting around. Stay here with us, have something to eat. The Lions promised they would call me when Sylvain wakes up.”</p><p>Byleth frowned but nodded her head.  She really did need some coffee…</p><p>An hour later, Byleth had eaten and was working on her third cup of coffee.  Now she was sitting on the floor playing with the dagger that Felix gave her.  It was the first time she really looked at the beautiful weapon.  The sheath was turquoise with intricate silver metal lacing dancing around it.  The handle had a black Crest of Flames inserted into it.  The weapon itself was a dark silver, perfectly balanced and easy to throw if needed.  Felix must have gone through a lot of trouble to make this for her... It made her want to cry knowing that she couldn’t be there for him right now.  </p><p>Byleth ran a finger along the beautiful sheath and closed her eyes.  A memory flickered in her mind of a red faced Felix giving her this dagger.  </p><p>Felix was never one for gift giving.  If it was someone’s birthday he either offered to train with them or bought them a drink.  He never went out of his way to buy something specific, let alone have something made.  This was different…</p><p>Byleth was surprised when he handed her the box.  It wasn’t wrapped but had a simple navy ribbon keeping the lid down.  She slowly pulled apart the ribbon and opened the lid to find the beautiful dagger.  </p><p>“Fe…” she said in awe as she pulled the dagger out to examine it.  “You didn’t have to do this.”</p><p>Felix just stood next to her watching Byleth look over each part of it, then test it out.  </p><p>“Do you like it?” he eventually asked, his face still a bit red.  </p><p>“Of course!” she said wrapping her arms around his neck and giving him a brief kiss.  </p><p>Felix smiled softly then pulled her toward the fireplace.  He opened his hand, so she’d give him the dagger.  He knelt down and held the weapon toward the fire.  The light of the flames revealed another crest hidden on the side of the sheath, the Crest of Fraldarius.  Felix pushed his thumb into the sheath then to the right.  A part of the sheath shifted to reveal a small key.  He pulled it out and handed it to her.</p><p>“Fe...what is this?”</p><p>Felix gave her another soft smile and went to answer her.</p><p>Byleth’s memory broke... She almost tried to force her mind to finish it but she figured she already knew what it was.  Byleth moved to one of the reading lamps.  It took her a few seconds to find the hidden crest on the dagger sheath.  She pushed the metal, like Felix had in the memory.  It shifted and inside was the key.  Byleth breathed out a sigh of relief.  This had to be a key to his apartment.  What else could it be?  She examined the key and noticed two things engraved in it, Fralda, 11.  Fralda… It only took Byleth a second for her to realize it must be Fralda port, a small port next to the large portion of property Felix’s father owned.  His apartment must be there.  </p><p>Byleth immediately made to leave the room.</p><p>“Where are you going?” Claude said after her.</p><p>“Fralda Port.”</p><p>“Wait! Why?”  </p><p>“I think that’s where Felix is.”</p><p>“Wait Byleth!” he shouted when she wouldn’t stop.  “Let me send someone with you.”</p><p>He caught up to her and grabbed her arm.  Byleth turned and saw the worry in his eyes.  She lightly touched his cheek.  “Please Claude, the man is grieving. I need to find him by myself.  He won’t talk to me if someone else is there. I’ll try to get him to come back to one of the compounds where we can both be safe.”</p><p>Claude looked ready to protest but he let her go.  Byleth kissed him.  “Thank you.”</p><p>---</p><p>It was cold for July...fitting to what had happened.  A light rain was falling from the dark clouds filling the sky.  It was only a little past one in the afternoon, but it felt like a whole day was already gone.  It was like this the day Jeralt passed too...except it was early winter and sleeting. </p><p>Byleth wondered around the port, searching for anything with the number 11 on it.  Knowing Felix, he would have an apartment that also had access to a training space.  One of the warehouse’s seemed like the best place to start.  She tried to move slow, making sure she was completely aware of her surroundings.  She didn’t want to put herself in a position to be captured if she could help it, although it would be odd for the Eagles to attack so deep into Lion territory, especially after what just happened. The Lions and the Deer were on high alert.  Claude had given Dimitri some of his crew to help secure the area while to allow for the Lions to mourn. </p><p>Half an hour into her search, Byleth came across an old rusty building.  She got close to the door and noticed an almost imperceptible 11, etched into the side.  Byleth tried the door, locked.  She inserted the key and was relieved when it fit.  She was about to turn it when something caught her eye.  Byleth looked down to the small shoreline.  A man with dark hair was standing next to the water, looking out at the small waves.  He appeared soaked and unmoving.  </p><p>Byleth moved to the man, realizing it was Felix.  He must have been out here a long time based on how drenched his clothes were.  Byleth hesitated before approaching.  Again she knew there were no words for this situation.  Now that she found Felix what could she actually do for him?  Byleth stood next to him and stared out at the water.  There was something beautiful and eerie about the scene, perhaps Felix found something soothing in the dark swirling water. </p><p>They stood there a long time, perhaps twenty minutes.  The rain was beginning to soak into Byleth’s skin but she was determined to stay by Felix’s side as long as he let her.  Byleth was surprised when Felix brushed his ice cold fingers along her hand.  She opened it for him, and let him lace their fingers together.  Byleth glanced at his face.  It was pale, his eyes a bit dull and his hair sticking to the side of his face.  She turned to him and pushed some of the strands from his skin.  </p><p>“Fe...I’m here. I won’t leave you unless you want me to.”</p><p>Felix’s eyes flicked to her for a few moments, then went back to the water.  They stood there for a few more minutes before he turned and started walking away, his hands still in hers, gently pulling her along.  He kept walking until they got to the warehouse.  Felix hesitated for a moment then looked at her.  </p><p>“What’s wrong? You don’t want to go into your place?”  Byleth pulled out her key.  “Do you need me to open it?”</p><p>Felix stared at the key in her hand for a few moments.  “My place…” he said softly.</p><p>Byleth couldn’t tell if he was asking a question or not.  She just nodded and waited for him to do something.  His eyes stayed on her hand that held the key.  Eventually he shook his head. </p><p>“Where do you want to go? You’re freezing cold, Fe. Want to go back to your room in the compound?”  He shook his head again.  Byleth frowned.  “Want to come to my room at Claude’s? I have a nice big tub. We can both get a bath if you’d like company.” Felix didn’t say anything so she thought that was a yes.  </p><p>Byleth started to move toward the phone booth but stopped.  An odd feeling moved down her spine.  They were being watched.  She gripped Felix’s hand hard as she continued to move forward, trying to make it seem like she hadn’t noticed.  She was sure she spotted four people surrounding them.  She risked a glance back at Felix who was staring at her, but his hand was on the hilt of his sword.  Good he picked up on her cue.  For a moment she was concerned he might not.  </p><p>Byleth reached for the phone booth door, then immediately wiped around to slice her sword into the gut of one of the intruders.  Felix was doing the same to another one.  They both dodged two miasma attacks, forcing them to separate.  Byleth glanced up and realized her count was off.  There were at least ten enemies and they were all going after Felix, except the two that were now on her.  Byleth swung her sword but the first attacker dodged.  She took a fist to the gut then dodged the next attack trying to regain her breathing.  Byleth raised her hand and cast fire to give herself a second to look at Felix.  There was a lot of magic around him and she couldn’t see him.  Byleth cursed and charged the two in front of her, her sword finding vital points.  She couldn’t risk leaving them alive.  </p><p>Byleth cast another fire spell at the attacker closest to her, then sliced across his neck when she got close enough.  Smoke clouded Byleth’s vision and she had to hold back a scream of frustration.  She was forced to pull back.  </p><p>A knife cut across her arm and her leg was knocked out from under her.  Byleth hit the ground hard, the breath momentarily leaving her body.  The man was towering over her, a knife in his hand.  Byleth dodged the attack just as a sword pierced through the man’s back and into his stomach.  </p><p>Felix had emerged from the chaos.  He pulled his sword out of the man and turned to her.  His vermilion eyes were wild and he was covered with blood.  Byleth looked behind him and realized all of their attackers were dead.  She looked back at Felix in surprise.  He had killed all of those people in a minute… She wasn’t sure even she could do that.  Felix moved toward her and Byleth had to fight the urge to back away.  He looked crazy.  His free hand dug into her shoulder as his eyes examined her for injury. </p><p>“They won’t take you again” he growled. </p><p>Byleth reached up a shaking hand to touch his face.  He flinched, not expecting the touch, his sword arm moving slightly in response. “Fe, are you injured?” she asked gently.  Byleth honestly couldn’t tell if any of the blood was his.  Felix didn’t respond, instead he stood up and looked around, making sure there weren’t more enemies.  Byleth took the opportunity to go to the phone booth and call Claude for a pick up.  Then she called Gilbert to let him know what had happened so they could clean up the mess in Blue Lion territory.  </p><p>Byleth glanced back to Felix.  Red was dripping off of his body as the rain washed away some of the blood.  His hand still gripped his sword tightly.  He looked ready to attack the next thing he saw.  </p><p>It only took five minutes for a car to pick them up.  Claude must have told her original driver to stay nearby.  Byleth was incredibly grateful. </p><p> </p><p>Thirty minutes later they walked into her room.  Felix’s was shivering, although he didn’t seem to notice.  Byleth ran hot water into her tub and dumped in some bubble bath and soothing herbs.  She stripped her clothes off then slowly started to pull the wet bloody clothing from Felix’s body.  He eventually took over and stripped down.  Byleth searched him for injuries only finding a few small cuts and one deep one in his shoulder.  She wiped the dry blood off with a washcloth and healed the wound then guided him into the hot tub water.  Byleth gently washed his body then his hair, taking time to massage his scalp and run her fingers through the inky strands as she worked.  When she was done, Byleth pulled him to rest on her stomach.  His body relaxed into hers as she lightly ran her hands along his arms.  They stayed that way until their skin was starting to prune, then got out of the water.  </p><p>Claude and Linhardt both came to her room shortly after.  Claude gave her a white t-shirt and soft black sweatpants so that Felix didn’t have to put his bloody clothes back on.  Linhardt healed her arm wound while she reported to Claude what happened.</p><p>“You think they were after Felix?” Claude asked.  Byleth nodded.  “That doesn’t make sense.  You were right there…”</p><p>“They might have been trying to weaken the Lions more” Linhardt suggested.  “Maybe force Dimitri’s hand.”</p><p>“I checked in with him.  He isn’t doing well but he seems oddly composed at the moment.  If they are trying to make the Lion roar I’m not sure they are succeeding.  I’ll do my best to keep him in check.  We can’t just go rushing into our enemies arms.”  Claude glanced at Felix who was sitting on the floor, staring out the balcony doors.  The only thing the swordsman had done since bathing and dressing was clean the blood off of his sword and Byleth’s.  They both sat on the floor in front of him.  Now he was just staring.  Claude leaned forward so only Byleth could hear him.  “Is he alright?”</p><p>“I have no idea.”</p><p>“Do you need anything?” </p><p>“Some food and some rye whiskey.”</p><p>Claude gave her a soft smile and kissed her cheek.  “Not a problem. I’ll take your clothes to get cleaned too.”</p><p>Byleth smiled back at the Deer leader.  Claude really was wonderful.  Byleth kissed his cheek and thanked him.  “I’m not sure he will stay here all night. I don’t want to confine him right now.  He might just want to be left alone.”</p><p>Claude frowned.  “I know you don’t want to force him but he should not be alone right now, especially if he is being targeted.”  Byleth frowned.  “Don’t worry Beautiful. I doubt Felix wants you to leave him. If anyone can help him through this it’s you.”  Claude kissed her cheek again then left with Linhardt.</p><p>Byleth wasn’t sure why Claude had said that but she really wanted to believe him.  When some food and whiskey was brought to her door, Byleth tried to get Felix to join her at the table.  He didn’t move, just sat on the floor with the door open, watching the rain hit the various pieces of furniture.  It broke Byleth’s heart to see him like this...emotional, yet detached.  She knew he had a stranded relationship with his father, but…he must be hurting.  At least he didn’t seem wild anymore, the adrenaline leaving his body after the fight.  </p><p>After Byleth ate some food she grabbed the bottle of rye whiskey, sat down next to Felix and took a swig.  The swordsman followed her actions.  He took a few more swigs from the bottle before he turned to look at her.  He stared for a while, his face unreadable as his eyes searched hers.  He then reached out to cup her jaw in his cold fingers.  Felix pulled her to him and lightly brushed his lips across hers.  Byleth could feel so much emotion in that simple kiss.  He was bottling everything up…  Felix let her go, but she followed him, her lips pressing against his much harder then his had.  Felix’s hand was back on her face, his mouth meeting hers slowly.  </p><p>For some reason she thought this might be helping him.  When Byleth’s father passed away she had no one to run to.  She was all alone...She would have loved to have someone’s mouth to sink into to distract from the pain even for a bit.  It didn’t solve anything but at least it broke up the intensity of loss.</p><p>Eventually, Felix pulled back and rested his forehead against hers.  “Thank you” he said hoarsely.</p><p>Byleth stroked his cheek.  “I would do anything for you Fe” she said.  His eyes softened slightly.  “I...I love you so very much. I...have no idea what that means but I do.”  His eyes watched her for a bit.  She wasn’t sure her words really got through to him.  Maybe she shouldn’t have said anything at all.  What did her feelings really mean right now anyway? </p><p>Felix reached out and lightly touched the dagger that she had strapped back on her leg.  It seemed like a weird thing to do when she was sure they weren’t going anywhere this evening, but she felt like having it somehow put her in a better position to protect his pain.  </p><p>“You found the key…” he said so softly she almost didn’t hear.</p><p>“Yes...I was worried about you...I looked everywhere for you. Linhardt mentioned you had a private place and that I knew about it. I was so angry at myself for not remembering… I was just playing with the dagger you gave me, trying to focus. Then a memory hit me...you giving me this. I didn’t see the whole memory. It stopped right when you showed me the hidden crest and that there was a key inside.”  Felix’s fingers continued to trace along the sheath of the dagger.  “It really is an amazing gift Felix. I’m sure I told you that before.”  He remained silent, but his eyes went back to hers.  Byleth stroked his cheek again.  “What do you need? I want to help you. Please tell if there is something you need.”  He shook his head.  Byleth frowned.  “Do you want to be alone? Am I not giving you enough space?”  He shook his head again.  </p><p>Felix slowly shifted onto his knees, he cupped her jaw again and kissed her.  There was a lot more heat to this kiss and Byleth was grateful to feel something other than stranded sadness from him.  She responded with equal passion, wrapping an arm around his neck to keep them connected.  </p><p>Felix moved from her lips to her neck, a hand moving under her shirt to brush along her skin.  He pulled her shirt up and began kissing her stomach.  Byleth could feel a few tears falling onto her skin as his lips lightly touched her flesh.  She considered stopping him, but thought better of it.  His hands gripped her hips as his mouth latched onto one of her breasts.  Byleth moaned.  She laced her fingers into his long beautiful hair, not sure how much he wanted her to touch him.  She could feel his erection growing against her core and she let out another moan as he moved along her sensitive area.  His lips went back to her mouth as he slid her shorts and underwear to the side and pushed two fingers inside of her.  His movements were a bit sloppy but it still felt good.  He teased her for a bit before pulling his cock out and pushing it into her wet folds.  They both moaned at the connection.  Felix fucked her slow and deep, each thrust and kiss filled with an emotion that Byleth couldn’t quite determine.  She tried to emanate her own feelings as they made love on the floor.  Byleth wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist holding him as close to her as possible.  They were both moaning against each other’s lips, trying to consume each other.  </p><p>Felix’s moans started to get louder.  Byleth clenched for him, getting a groan out of him.  Felix wrapped an arm around her back and pushed her hips up so he could get deeper.  Byleth moaned loudly.  This felt so good.  Even in his distraught state he was about to push her over the edge.  </p><p>“Fe…” she moaned loudly.  “Come with me.”</p><p>Felix groaned and picked up his pace.  Byleth climaxed.  She kept her legs wrapped around him as he reached his own bliss, forcing him to cum inside of her.  Byleth had no idea why she did that, but for some reason it felt right; made them feel even more connected in that moment.</p><p>Byleth ran her hands along Felix’s back, while he caught his breath.  His lips lightly brushed her neck before he sat back a bit and looked at her.  There was a question in his eyes but he didn’t say anything. </p><p>He stood up, got her a towel, grabbed the bottle of rye, then sat at the small table in her room.  Byleth cleaned up then joined him.  She took a swig of the rye then placed it back in front of him.  Felix took a big swig then watched Byleth.  She stared back at him trying to figure out what he was thinking.  </p><p>Felix looked so exhausted, like he had just been through a war.  In a way he had.  Heavy emotional loss and brutal fight. It was still early but Byleth moved to him, grabbed his hand and pulled him into her bed.  She wrapped her arms around him and slowly kissed him.  Their lips lazily met until she felt his body relax completely.  Byleth kissed his forehead and let him nuzzle into her neck.  She closed her eyes and let her own exhaustion take hold.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Poor Felix.  He really is having a rough time in this story.  I'm so sorry Felix!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>Thanks for reading and commenting!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. A Beautiful Dream</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The Eagles make another attack and Byleth regains a beautiful memory.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Byleth wasn’t sure if she should be surprised that she woke up alone again.  For some reason she thought after everything Felix had been through he’d stay with her.  But this was Felix...he was never one to let others see how he was feeling.  Maybe his emotions finally caught up with him and he needed to get away...to be alone.  </p><p>Byleth stared at the empty spot next to her for a while.  She felt a bit numb, almost like she too had lost someone dear to her…  In a weird way she had...but it was rude to compare the loss of her own life with the loss of Rodrigue.  The Lions must be suffering…</p><p>Byleth pulled herself out of bed and walked out into the clear summer morning.  The heat was already doing its best to evaporate all traces of yesterday's rain.  It was like this day had no idea what yesterday stole…</p><p>She glanced to her left and saw Claude staring at her.  He was at this balcony table, coffee in one hand and a report in the other.  He looked hesitant to say anything to her, but when she looked at him, he gave her a soft smile that did so many warm things to her heart.  Seeing Claude smile like that could shake away any person’s demons.  There was no way she couldn’t talk to him after that.  She needed more of that warmth he constantly provided. </p><p>Claude poured her some coffee then kissed her cheek when she sat down.  </p><p>“Good morning beautiful. Is there anything I can get you for breakfast?”</p><p>Byleth looked at Claude’s plate of food, barely touched.  She knew he wouldn’t eat all of it so she plucked an english muffin.</p><p>“This works” she said, happy it was still warm so the butter was melty.</p><p>Claude chuckled.  “Felix left a few hours ago in case you were wondering. He went back to the Lion’s compound so no need to rush out and find him.”</p><p>“Am I that obvious?”  Claude smiled.  “I wasn’t going to run after him just yet. Figured I’d give him some time.”</p><p>Byleth glanced down at the materials spread across the table.  She noticed the list Linhardt and Claude were trying to decipher yesterday.  An address caught her eye.  “Fralda port...warehouse 11…” she said out loud.  “That’s Felix’s apartment…” Panic settled in her stomach.  “Why is that listed on here?” she said shaking the paper in front of Claude’s face.</p><p>“I didn’t know it was his apartment. In fact we’ve been struggling to figure out what these places are. But if you’re saying one of these was Felix’s...maybe these are all secret properties of the Lions.”</p><p>“Have you shown this to Dimitri yet?”</p><p>Claude shook his head.  “I was trying to give him time...but maybe I can’t do that anymore. If the Lions are being targeted…But that doesn’t make sense. Why just go after them? Does Edelgard not think I’m a threat?”</p><p>Byleth lightly touched Claude’s arm.  “I doubt that. If it was me I’d probably consider you more of a threat.”</p><p>Claude tilted his head slightly.  “Why’s that?”</p><p>“You're brilliant, clever and mischievous. I mean you managed to crack this code in a few days… Dimitri wears his emotions on his sleeves.  He is a bit more straightforward with his tactics, meaning he is predictable. He may be strong but you are cunning. In my mind that’s a bigger threat.”</p><p>Claude’s deep green eyes scanned her face.  He looked a bit sad for a moment but pushed it aside.  “In terms of strength though...Dimitri has more at his disposal then I do. Us working together has always been about filling in the pieces the other lacks. If what you are saying is true then why go after the brawn before the brains?”</p><p>“I have no idea….but if Dimitri and the Lions are Edelgard’s current goal, she’s doing a good job” Byleth said, finishing her coffee.  </p><p>Claude poured her more and she stood up, back to the railing, blowing lightly on the hot liquid.  She let her eyes scan over Claude.  Again he looked exhausted, like he had been up all night.  But even in his worn out state, the man was still incredibly handsome.  Chocolate brown hair tousled, green eyes glowing with the need for knowledge, full lips red from all the hot coffee...just perfect.  Byleth placed her cup down so she could run her fingers through his hair.  It was a bit greasy from lack of care but she didn’t mind.  He instantly relaxed when she did it and that was all that mattered.  His eyes went shut and his body sunk into the chair.  While she did this he snaked a hand around her waist and placed his forehead against her exposed stomach. His rough fingers lightly stroked her back, sending small pleasant tingles down her body.  </p><p>Eventually Claude placed a kiss on her stomach then pulled back and looked up at her.  Byleth could see suppressed desire swirling in those amazing eyes.  And she really wanted to give in to him.  She bent down and captured his lips.  Claude immediately returned her affections, his hands gripping her waist.  </p><p>Byleth pulled back and kissed his forehead.  “I’m going to check in with the Lions. Do you want me to take what you’ve deciphered?”</p><p>Claude blinked a few times, obviously not in the moment.  “Ah yes if you don’t mind. Please let him know I’m available to talk with him at anytime.”</p><p>Byleth finished her coffee then grabbed a copy of the addresses.  She looked back at Claude and realized he looked a bit defeated, his mind trying to shift back into his work.  He was really going to wear himself out.  Byleth reached out and lightly stroked his cheek.  “You need to get some sleep.”</p><p>“This is too important” he said matter-of-factly, as if his well-being meant nothing in the greater scheme of things.  </p><p>“I know that but you are brilliant and we need you at your best, which means getting sleep” she scolded.  Claude sighed but did not look back at her.  Byleth gripped his jaw roughly and pulled him in for another kiss.  “When I return...will you sleep with me?”  His eyes examined her for a bit.</p><p>“For me or for you?” he asked softly.</p><p>“Mostly for you but because I want to.”</p><p>Claude gave her another soft smile.  “Alright beautiful if that’s what you really want. I can’t deny you.”</p><p>“Good” she said, kissing him again.  “Now I’m leaving. Don’t wait up if you need to sleep” she said waving to him as she walked back into her room.  </p><p>Claude watched her leave.  “You can stop hiding now. It’s rude to sneak around in a man’s home when you’re a guest.”</p><p>A sultry chuckle came from behind the curtain in Claude’s room.  “I didn’t want to ruin such a sweet moment.”  Yuri said, stepping into the light. </p><p>Claude just shook his head and took a bit of breakfast.  </p><p>“You know Byleth has a big heart and she is very open minded.  If you and Felix could just work out your differences I bet you could both have her.  Win-win for all.  You could even let me join once in a while” Yuri said with a wink before sitting down in the chair Byleth vacated.</p><p>“Ha” Claude said amused.  “Could you see Felix, the most stubborn man in the world sharing? Now you…” Claude said with a slight purr in his voice.  “I could share with you. But you may like to have multiple partners right now but I guarantee you, once you’ve had that woman and all the love she has to give, you wouldn’t want to share her. You’d only want her and no one else.”   </p><p>Yuri scoffed.  “There you go thinking we are similar again. I’m not a love sick fool like the rest of you. I just want a piece of her amazing body.”</p><p>Claude shook his head.  “Do you have anything to tell me or did you just want to eavesdrop?”</p><p>“A bit of both.”  Yuri grabbed the paper of addresses from the table.  “Are you sure these are all Lion property?”  </p><p>Claude shook his head.  “Why? Do you recognize something?”</p><p>Yuri pointed to the last address on the list.  “This one...I’m pretty certain it belongs to your haughty traitor.”</p><p>Claude looked at the address again then moved into his bedroom where he had multiple maps spread across the large mattress.  He found the address then frowned.  “It is on the border of Deer and Eagle territory...but this wasn’t something Lorenz or his father ever mentioned owning.  It’s not near any of their other property either.”</p><p>“Have you asked your deerlings if any of these addresses belong to them?”</p><p>Claude felt an odd feeling in his stomach.  </p><p>---</p><p>Byleth stood in the hallway between Sylvain and Felix’s rooms.  She had just finished speaking with Dimitri who already assigned people to investigate the addresses on the list.  The prince was still obviously distraught about Rodrigue but he was trying to work through his pain…  Byleth had wanted to hug him, to hold him and stroke his hair until he fell asleep, but she knew that wouldn’t help him right now.  He was still upset with himself for leading her on, and she was afraid if she was too affectionate towards him right now, he might cling to a small bit of hope.  She knew she deeply cared for Dimitri but if he wasn’t the person she was with when she was kidnapped there was no way she could give him an honest chance until she figured things out...if that was even what she wanted after all this…  At the moment it seemed best to be as emotional supportive as possible without being physical in any way.</p><p>Byleth sighed.  She considered knocking on Felix’s door but thought better of it.  The guard had confirmed the now lord of Fraldarius territories was in the compound...if he hadn’t snuck off somewhere.  Most likely he just wanted to be alone.  </p><p>Byleth gently knocked on Sylvain’s door.  She heard a muffle and opened it.  Sylvain was sitting up in bed reading a book.  He flashed her a smile and waved her in.  </p><p>Byleth went to open her mouth but he held up a finger to his lips.  Byleth furrowed her brow before glancing around the room.  Her heart fluttered when she saw Felix, passed out on the couch.  Byleth moved over to Sylvain and kissed his forehead.  He shifted over in the bed and patted the mattress.  Byleth kicked her shoes off and crawled into the bed with him.  </p><p>“How are you?” she said softly.  </p><p>“I feel like a car hit me but other then that.”</p><p>Byleth frowned.  “I’m sorry Syl. If I had figured things out earlier…”</p><p>“Stop that By. Your actions saved me, saved all of us. I don’t want to hear you go into a self shame spiral.”</p><p>Byleth glanced at him.  He was incredibly pale, and looked sad but all of that was to be expected.  She kissed his cheek.  “I’m so glad you are alright now. We’ve all needed you so much.”  </p><p>Sylvain frowned.  “I know…”  His eyes flicked to Felix and Byleth’s did the same.  </p><p>“How long has he been here?”</p><p>“He only fell asleep an hour ago. I believe he spent almost five hours this morning training.  When he came to check on me he didn’t last long until he passed out on the floor and I had to get Dedue to move him to that couch.”</p><p>Byleth sighed, wishing there was something more she could do for him.  </p><p>“You were with him yesterday weren’t you?” Sylvain asked as he linked their hands together under the comforter.</p><p>“How did you know?”</p><p>“I know you and I know him. You love to try to help people in any way that you can. And Felix, occasionally let’s you help him.  He didn’t say anything but I figured if you hadn’t been with him, he’d still be hiding somewhere.”</p><p>“You mean his apartment?”</p><p>Sylvain’s eyes widened a bit.  “You were there?”</p><p>“Not inside but I found him by the bay next to the apartment.”</p><p>“Did you remember it?”</p><p>“Not exactly…”</p><p>Sylvain examined Byleth’s face.  Then gave her a soft smile.  “So he did run off and you found him. I’m glad you found him Byleth. And I’m sorry I couldn’t help you, or him yesterday. But I’m here now.”</p><p>Byleth gently kissed Sylvain.  “It was no trouble Sylvain. Like you said I wanted to help him and I still do. I love you both so very much even with what limited memories I have.”</p><p>Sylvain smirked.  “You love Fe huh? You know he is an asshole and probably doesn’t deserve your love, but that goes for about every person I know.”</p><p>Byleth smiled.  “Like you?”</p><p>Sylvain grinned.  “I’m even worse.”</p><p>Byleth kissed him again then climbed out of the bed.  “I need to get my own training in. Do you think Fe will be passed out for a while?”</p><p>“I’ll keep an eye on him baby girl. Do what you need to.”</p><p>Byleth hesitated, her eyes fixated on Felix.  “He won’t come to me if he needs me…” she said softly.</p><p>“Unfortunately no. That’s just Felix. But I’ll let you know if he needs you. I can tell, I swear.”<br/>Byleth bit her lip and moved over to the sleeping swordsman.  He still looked really pale.  Just like Dimitri, she didn’t want to leave him, but she doubted she could help him right now.  Felix really should get as much sleep as he can, especially if the Eagles are targeting him.  Byleth gently pressed her lips to his forehead then left, her heart heavy.</p><p>-<br/>Byleth stepped out of the car in front of Claude’s club.  An odd feeling washed over her and she immediately pushed herself back into the car, just missing an arrow.  Byleth peered through the windows, trying her best to find the archer.  She caught a flash of purple then nothing… Bernadetta.  It had to be.  Based on how far away the archer was, no one else could hit that shot except Claude.  She didn’t notice anyone else but that didn’t mean they weren’t hiding.  It was too easy to do in a city…</p><p>Byleth looked at the front of the building and saw two guards down, both bleeding red onto the concrete.  She couldn’t tell if they were alive.  Fear swept through her.  How did Bernadetta get so close to the club?  Ignatz was an expert at keeping an eye on this place up to several blocks.  What had happened?  </p><p>Byleth asked the driver to move the car up onto the sidewalk so she could get closer to the door.  The second he did, she leapt out and ran for the door.  No one attacked her which was a good sign.  Linhardt, Yuri, Raphael and some other gang members were waiting in the lobby.  Based on the amount of arrows littering the sidewalk they must have been trying to get their wounded guards inside. </p><p>“Are they alive?” she asked Linhardt, assuming he was able to cast Physic from this range.  </p><p>The scholar’s face was pale and he nodded his head.  He must have been low on magic.</p><p>“Lin would heal em, then that little girl would hit them with another arrow” Raphael explained.</p><p>“I think we can get them now”  Yuri said.  “Byleth’s presence seemed to be the sign for the Eagles to vanish.”</p><p>Raphael and two others ducked out quickly and collected the injured guards.  Yuri and one of his Wolves immediately began healing them.   </p><p>“How did the Eagles get to that position?”</p><p>“I don’t know” Yuri said.  “I’m guessing they slowly picked off the guards and made a path here.”</p><p>“What about Ignatz? And where’s Claude?”</p><p>“Claude is on the roof. He was trying to pick off Bernadetta and the other Eagles. I think he at least got everyone but her, since the arrow fire died down.”</p><p>“I didn’t see any shots coming from this roof…” Byleth said then immediately ran up to find Claude.</p><p>She found him hiding behind a short brick wall on top of the roof, another location littered with arrows.  Blood coated his arm as he attempted to fix the string of his bow.</p><p>“By! It’s dangerous! What are you doing up here?” he asked when she approached him.</p><p>“They are gone and I was worried about you” she said kneeling down to examine him.</p><p>“I’m fine. How are the others?”</p><p>“We got them back inside. Yuri is healing them.”</p><p>“Good. We need to find my other guards and see if they are ok.”  </p><p>Claude stood up and his knees gave out.  Byleth grabbed him to keep him from hitting the ground too hard and noticed the pool of blood under him.</p><p>“You’re not going anywhere. You need to be healed. You’ve lost a lot of blood.”</p><p>“It just needs a wrap” he groaned out.  “I’ll be fine. The others are more important right now.”</p><p>Byleth touched his cheek lightly. “I know. I will help find them while you get healed.”</p><p>“No. You can’t. It could be a trap.”</p><p>“I know that. I’ll take Yuri with me. Besides, Bernadetta ran off when I got here. I don’t think this was about me.”</p><p>“She did? That’s odd…” Claude said.</p><p>Raphael appeared next to them a moment later.  The big man picked up Claude easily and took him inside.  Byleth took the chance to examine the arrows left behind.  Normal...they weren’t poisoned.  That was odd for the Eagles. They typically did something to the weapons to give them an edge. </p><p>“No poison. I thought that was odd too” Yuri said as he approached her. </p><p>“What do you think it means?” </p><p>“That this was a warning. A declaration of, with a greater force we could take you down easily” he proclaimed dramatically.</p><p>“Maybe but I think the only reason it worked was because there were only a few of them. I think this was just meant to shake up the Deer, put them on edge. Edelgard must realize how much Claude cares about his members. She’s hoping this will blind his mind and give her the ability to land a direct strike.”</p><p>“She’s attacked both the Deer and Lion’s hearts before and didn’t manage to win, although she did claim a lot of ground last time.”</p><p>“Are you referring to me?” Byleth asked, not wanting to assume.</p><p>“Of course my dear. That’s what Edelgard is good at, discovering the way to quickly rip someone’s heart out.  It’s why she is confident in challenging the other two large gangs. They outnumber her but she has their hearts.”</p><p>Something Yuri said was buzzing in her mind, but no matter how hard she tried she couldn’t focus on it.  “We need to find the other guards and make sure they are ok.”</p><p>Yuri gave a flourished bow.  “Leave it to me my lady. I’ve already contacted some of my people to start the search for the others. I’ll take Rapheal and Leonie as well and meet up with them.”</p><p>Byleth frowned.  She really wanted to go herself.  </p><p>Yuri chuckled.  “I’m not trying to keep you in a cage friend. I’m here to help, so use me and go heal the Deer leader. Linhardt is tapped out.”</p><p>“You’re right. Thank you.”</p><p>Byleth was happy when she got to Claude’s room and saw Flayn was already working to heal him.  His arm had taken several deep grazes from a few arrows.  His roof top hiding place must have left a bit of him exposed.  Byleth moved to the bathroom and began to run hot water, adding some herbs.  She would force Claude to bathe then rest after Flayn was done healing him.  When she walked back out of the room, Claude was staring at her.  He knew what she was about to do.</p><p>“By please…” he groaned.  “Now is not the time for me to relax.”</p><p>“It’s not relaxing. It’s necessary.”</p><p>“My people were attacked” he defended.</p><p>“I know but they are being recovered. The Eagles won’t make another move again for a while.  This was just some psychological warfare bullshit Edelgard was pulling.”</p><p>“But my defenses…”</p><p>“Will be fixed” Flayn added in.  “I’m sure Ignatz is fine. I will work together with him to make sure this never happens again. Honestly, Ignatz needs to stop putting himself in the front. That was probably our biggest mistake. He thinks at the front he won’t miss anything…” Flayn said, a bit of sadness in her voice.</p><p>“See you have good people Claude and they need a strong, completely functioning leader. If you run off now you’ll hinder their work.”</p><p>“She’s right leaderman” Hilda said, walking into the room.  “You’re basically useless when you get like this. Let Byleth take care of you while the rest of us fix this. Then once you’ve gotten some sleep we can strategize.”</p><p>Claude’s eyes flicked between the three women surrounding him then he groaned.  “Fine but I want updates. If anything important happens wake me up!”</p><p>Hilda waved her hand like Claude was an annoying fly she could easily swat away.  “Yes yes of course.”  Flayn stood up, satisfied with her healing job.  “Flayn and I will stay here since almost everyone else is out.  I promise to monitor everything and give you an update soon.”</p><p>The two women left the room.  Claude stood up and began pulling off his clothes.  “This is frustrating… I know this was just to fuck with me but if she killed more of my people…”</p><p>Byleth gently touched the arm that hadn’t been injured.  “We will figure this out. This needs to stop. I’m slowly getting my memories back. I promise I can be useful soon.”</p><p>Claude sighed and looked at her with sad eyes.  “Beautiful, this isn’t your fault. Do not push yourself to remember.”  He lightly grazed his fingertips along her hand.  “And you’re right we will figure this out. It will end.” </p><p>Claude moved away and into the bathroom to bathe.  Byleth sat on the edge of his bed, an odd rush of emotions taking over her.  Everyone she cared about was in pain and they had been for so long... What was this life they were all living?  She could easily get out of it...walk away.  Mercenaries could work for anyone and she had a large sum of money saved up.  It was these people that kept her here… She cared for them all so much.  Walking away and knowing she failed one of them because she wasn’t here…  </p><p>Byleth sighed and laid down on the bed. She didn’t realize how exhausted she was...</p><p> </p><p>--<br/>Large purple flowers decorate the side of the wall of the once golden building.  Now abandoned and damaged, the wild flowers had taken over, consuming as much surface area as they could reach.  The building sat on a large hill overlooking a huge valley.  In a way it was an eyesore sticking out between the beauty of nature and in another way it was a wonder all it’s own.  Byleth tried to imagine what it looked like when it was first built, golden and shiny, inspiring growth, love and protection to its kingdom.  Now it wasn’t even considered a historical landmark, just abandoned because it’s former owners were considered barbarians.</p><p>“Do you like it?” Claude said next to her, his eyes shining with wonder as he took in the structure.  </p><p>“I really do. I wish I knew what it originally looked like.”</p><p>“I can show you drawings but I can’t imagine they do it justice. I like to come up here and close my eyes and try to fill in the missing pieces and remove all the wild growth.”  </p><p>It was hard not to smile at Claude when he looked like an excited child who just found buried treasure.  Byleth moved next to him and linked their hands together.  She closed her eyes and tried to picture what he described.</p><p>“It’s...important for me to show this to you” he said softly, causing Byleth to open her eyes and look at him.  He was so close to her, it made her heart beat fast.  Their relationship was still new so she struggled containing her composure around him, struggled with all these new emotions.  </p><p>“Why?” she managed to question.</p><p>“Because...this is my heritage.”</p><p>Byleth examined his face.  It wasn’t surprising to her to hear he was Almyran, a descendant of the race practically annihilated over a hundred years ago during a brutal war. His warm golden skin was a clear indication of that.  But this place seemed like it meant more to him then just a cultural heritage site.</p><p>“I know you’re Almyran” she said, trying to get him to explain more.</p><p>Claude smiled softly and started walking around the building, pulling Byleth along.  “It’s more than Almyran. It was the palace where the royals lived. Where they tried to rule equally and encourage their people to free speech, free love, and equal society.  The royalty were more like leaders of wisdom than some kind of tyrants. They wanted a beautiful world where barriers meant nothing and everyone tried to understand each other. This place still thrives with those ideals. I can feel them when I come here.” </p><p>Byleth smiled.  Claude’s mind was something truly wonderful to behold.  She could picture him thriving in that type of world instead of the leader of a gang in Fodlan.  That type of future fit him more then the one he lived.</p><p>Claude gave her a soft smile and pulled her closer to him.  He reached out and lightly stroked her cheek before kissing her.  “Beautiful...I brought you here to tell you something.”  Byleth nodded, waiting for him to continue.  “I feel like I can trust you more than anyone else in my life. And I want you to trust me.”</p><p>“I do trust you” Byleth interjected.</p><p>“I know but I feel like I should prove to you what I said. This place...this place is where I should live right now. I should be leading these people…”  He ran his fingers through his hair and took a deep breath.  “I’ve never told anyone this before...but I am a direct descendant of the Almyran royal line. My real name is Khalid…”</p><p>“Khalid…” Byleth said slowly trying it out.  “It’s wonderful” she said with a smile.</p><p>“It is?”</p><p>“Yes it fits you.”  Byleth lightly tugged on his arm to get them both facing the ruins again.  “It’s very easy to picture, Prince Khalid addressing his people from this very spot.”</p><p>Claude smiled at her and kissed her cheek.  “I wish that were true...I want to revive Almyra so badly but there are still people out there that hate the Almyrans. It’s been a hundred years...carrying that type of hate is ridiculous. It’s exactly the type of thing my people were trying to prevent. I can’t...use my real name because it would look like I’m embracing my heritage, trying to rekindle it.”  Claude gripped both of Byleth’s hands in his.  “But I want to. I want to get to a place of power within Fodlan that I can start rebuilding Almryan culture, to finally eliminate this dark cloud that hangs over my people. It’s why I became a gang leader. It was one of the fastest ways to get power.”  Claude hesitated for a second.  “I’m telling you this so you can understand me better.”  He gestured to the ruins.  “This is the most important thing to me, my life goal. This is what drives me. If...if you can’t accept my dream then…”</p><p>Byleth stopped him by pressing her lips against his.  “Why wouldn’t I accept such an amazing dream?”</p><p>“I...I don’t know. I just wanted to be upfront with you...Accomplishing my dream might mean that I’m not always there for you...that I take big risks...that I might have to cut ties with people you like. That I might one day be cast out from Fodlan and forced into hiding. That being with me is a constant risk on your life.”  He gripped her hands tightly.  “Byleth I want to be with you but to do that you need to understand what you’re getting into.”</p><p>Byleth smiled.  “It sounds like my normal life to be honest. I’ve never been safe. Nothing you have said made me think this isn’t worth trying.”</p><p>Claude crushed her to him.  “Thank you. I knew you would understand me. To be honest Byleth I need you. You’re my heart and my strongest ally. I feel like as long as you're by my side I can do anything, even accomplish my dreams. You are everything I want and need in this world. Please help me do this.”</p><p>Byleth thought about his words, and realized helping him with this beautiful dream would make her happy, plus it meant keeping him.  “Of course I’ll help you. You’re my heart too…Khalid.”</p><p>Claude kissed her deeply.  “You’re perfect Byleth and you’re mine.”  </p><p>Their mouths meet hard and heated, their emotions driving them to a different level of passion.  Claude picked her up and laid her on the side of the grassy hill.  They made love in the sunlight, Byleth softly chanting his real name, making him whine a bit at hearing it.  </p><p>-<br/>Byleth woke up in a dark room, not the beautiful sunny valley she had just been in.  A warm body shifted next to her and without thinking she said that name she had just been chanting, “Khalid...”</p><p>“What?” he said groggy but surprised.  Claude suddenly grabbed her jaw, the motion waking her up a bit.  “What did you just say?”</p><p>“Khalid…” she said again, trying to keep her voice down in case she wasn’t supposed to say it out loud. </p><p>“You remembered…” </p><p>Byleth nodded her head, then gently reached up and stroked his cheek.  “I remembered you telling me your true name and your dreams. They really are something beautiful to fight for.”</p><p>Claude looked torn between smiling and frowning.  “They are in a way… They are also selfish.  Byleth that day...I asked too much of you. I asked you to make my dreams yours, without ever thinking you might have some of your own. I’m sorry…”</p><p>Her dreams...Byleth hadn’t really considered what her dreams were or might have been before she lost her memories.  She was pretty sure she never had any.  Being a mercenary was about survival, not reaching for a dream.  It was all she knew, so she was certain when Claude asked her to help him, she had no goal of her own. </p><p>“I said I was willing. Don’t be sorry.”</p><p>Claude shook his head.  “It’s hard not to be. I was so selfish.”  </p><p>He laid back down next to her, defeat taking over his features. Byleth hated seeing him like that. For someone so charismatic, strong and driven, he’d been oddly down on himself since her return from the Eagles.  She hated it… In a way it seemed like everyone she loved was more defeated… She wanted to fix it so badly. </p><p>Byleth moved closer to Claude and wrapped herself up in him.  He willingly let her, a bit of surprise on his face.  “Don’t ever feel guilty about such a wonderful dream” she said against his neck.</p><p>Claude gripped her tighter but did not respond.  Byleth could still feel the doubt straining his being.  She loved this man more than she could really understand.  She needed to do something for him, she needed him to feel her love.  Byleth kissed him, slow at first then realized she wanted more then something so simple.  Her hands moved across his bare back and side, feeling the warmth that he always provided.  Claude had been nothing but sweet and comforting to her, despite everything that was happening with him.  His dream was on hold because he was wrapped up in this terrible gang war, his people were hurt and his future must be weighing heavily on him, but he was still there for her, doing everything in his power.  She wanted to be there for him too.</p><p>“Khalid…” she said softly against his lips.  “I love you.”</p><p>Claude kissed her hard, something breaking in him. He pulled her even tighter against him.  “I love you Byleth. So much I want to give up my dreams and just run away with you.” </p><p>Byleth felt tears sting her eyes.  What he just said...he really meant that… It overwhelmed her heart.  She wished she could say things like that in return but at the moment all she knew was that she loved him.  She would cling to that love for right now.  Not every moment needed to be her trying to fix her memories or running away from them.  She was being too selfish.  This was someone who loved her and needed her and she would be there for him just like she was for Felix.  This might be wrong but that didn’t matter right now.  This was the present and they needed each other.  </p><p>“Khalid...please...let’s make love together.”</p><p>“Are you sure? Before you said…”</p><p>Byleth placed a finger against his lips.  “I know what I said but I don’t care right now. I just want to be with you, please.”</p><p>Claude didn’t hesitate again.  He kissed her with such passion and love that it made her mind go completely blank.  She tried to return everything he gave her, all while whispering his real name.  </p><p>Their clothes vanished quickly as their bodies were desperate to connect.  They both moaned when they were finally one and sank into each other, bodies wrapped up, lips constantly meeting, hips trusting...They made love twice before they both fell asleep again.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next up the Lions make a rash decision.</p><p> </p><p>Thank you for reading and complimenting!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Family</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Byleth's memories make her realize something shocking about herself, while Felix's memories drive him to the brink.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had been almost 48 hours before he finally decided to get some sleep.  For someone who enjoyed sleeping so much he could also go long periods without it, if he was into some research that truly fascinated him.  He would have stayed awake longer if the Eagles had not attacked the club and forced him to use his Faith magic.  Several hours ago he had settled in for what should have been a 12 hour sleep, but someone else thought differently.  </p><p>A loud knock echoed through his room.  He did his best to ignore it but the intruder insisted.  Linhardt groaned loudly and pulled himself out of bed.  He opened the door and his heart tightened.  Of all the people to bother him right now this one was the worst.  The man looked half crazed, his eyes blazing with pain and revenge, his body a coiled snake ready to attack.  This was what the anger phase of the grief stage looked like… But why now?  Why was he here now?  Linhardt knew this was going to happen since Byleth’s return and this was the absolute worst moment for it to come to fruition.  </p><p>“Felix…” he said holding the door open wider for the swordsman to enter.  </p><p>Felix walked in and started to pace back and forth.  He was trying to calm himself down at least.  Linhardt just stood and watched him, knowing the swordsman was not one to push.  He’d talk when he was ready.  In the meantime, Linhardt started making tea.  As the water began to boil, Felix finally spoke.</p><p>“Several months ago...I came to you for help...I...I...was a pathetic mess, unable to function.”  He stopped for a moment, while Linhardt poured them both some tea.  “You did something...you helped get me past my pain in order to become a functioning person again… I know that a part of our agreement was that I don’t ask you about it but...I need to know.”</p><p>Linhardt sighed and handed Felix a cup of tea.  Felix stared at it for a moment, uncertain.  “You watched me make it. I didn’t do anything to it.”  Felix took it then followed Linhardt’s gesture to sit down on his desk chair.  He waited until Felix took a sip of his drink then began speaking again.  “You came to me because you didn’t want to wallow in sorrow anymore. I reluctantly gave you the option to wipe some of your memories. You picked a specific thing and I did.”</p><p>Felix’s eyes went wide.  “I had you erase some of my memories?”</p><p>“Well not erase. That was the wrong word. I just blocked them.”</p><p>“I see… And this memory blocking worked?”  Linhardt nodded.  “I...I don’t understand. I mean what could possibly hurt me more than losing Byleth to the enemy? I still remember all of that.”</p><p>Linhardt took a sip of his tea and just stared at him.  Felix’s eyes flashed with a warning.  “What was it?”  He said standing up, suddenly panicked.</p><p>“We agreed that I wouldn’t tell you.”</p><p>Felix reached out and grabbed his collar.  “Then reverse it!”</p><p>Linhardt lightly placed his hands on top of Felix’s.  “As your friend I’m begging you don’t ask me to do that. You’re in pain and anger.  This is the worst possible time for me to give you your memories back.”</p><p>“I think it’s the best time. Clearly, I was too weak to fix my own mistakes back then. Now my mind is clear and my body ready. Undo the spell” he said darkly.  </p><p>“Felix...please listen to me.”</p><p>“No!” he shouted then seemed to have caught the small bit of fear in Linhardt’s eyes.  He let Linhardt’s shirt go and took a step back.  “I...I know you helped me before and I am grateful but I have a right to my memories.”</p><p>“You absolutely do Felix but I wish you’d heed my warning. You are still grieving the loss of your father, adding these memories to the pain….It’s a bad idea.”</p><p>Felix took a deep breath, trying to calm his emotions.  “Please Linhardt. I can’t begin to recover knowing I was once so weak I had to suppress my own memories. I mean look at Byleth, she doesn’t have hers and wants them back desperately. I chose to hide mine like a weak man! I can’t keep going knowing that.”</p><p>Linhardt sighed and reached his hand out to touch the back of Felix’s head.  “I am going to regret this...but I can’t deny you what’s rightfully yours.”</p><p>White light erupted in the room and Linhardt’s faith spell broke.  Felix cried out in pain for a second and slumped forward.  Linhardt caught the shorter man easily and guided him to sit back down on the chair.  “Drink more tea. It will help with the pain” the scholar said holding Felix’s cup back out to him.  The swordsman drank a few gulps then shut his eyes for a bit.</p><p>“You knew why I was here didn’t you?” Felix said.</p><p>“I did…” Linhardt said adding a bit more tea to both of their cups.  </p><p>Felix looked at him, vermilion eyes coated in tears and pain.  “This...this makes sense.  I understand why I had you take these memories.”  Felix clutched his chest.  “Fuck…” he groaned. </p><p>“I can...suppress them again if you need me to” Linhardt offered.</p><p>“No. I need to deal with this. All of this.” Felix took another gulp of his tea then stood up slowly.  “I need to actually use my strength and fucking do something about all this violence and loss. I need to fix things so she can be happy, even if it kills me.” </p><p>Felix started moving toward the door but Linhardt stood in his way.  “Don’t go run off and take things into your hands. Talk to Byleth first at least.”</p><p>“And say what to her? I failed you? I’m sorry I’m a weak fucking man who is the reason for all of her current pain and pain she can’t even remember yet? That I’m sorry I’ve done nothing to fix it? I can’t… I’m not worthy of her.  I couldn’t fucking protect her.  She’s better off without me.”  Felix grabbed the door, opened it and left. </p><p>Linhardt slumped down on his bed.  He knew that was a mistake, knew the feeling in the pit of his stomach was a huge warning.  But it was done.  Linhardt knew he had no right to keep Felix’s memories from him.  He wasn’t Hubert, he wouldn’t manipulate people because of his own beliefs.  But he felt like he needed to do something.... He just wasn’t sure what. </p><p> </p><p>---</p><p>Byleth laughed at the small little girl running around the courtyard chasing a butterfly.  Her long brown hair flowing behind her as the small child bumbled around, giggling while trying to catch the beautiful insect.</p><p>“It’s been so long since I’ve seen your daughter Alois. She’s really grown!” </p><p>“Yep! She’s springing up just like these beautiful spring tulips!” Alois said with a laugh.  </p><p>His daughter plucked a flower from the ground and ran over to hand it to Byleth.  She thanked the little girl then let her climb into her lap.  “It’s nice to see a mercenary with a family. I’m really glad you got out of the business Alois. You seem so happy.”</p><p>Alois grinned.  “I really am Byleth. I truly hope you find happiness like this one day too. I know that’s what your father wanted for you.”</p><p>“My father wanted me to have a family?” Byleth asked, surprised.  </p><p>“He did but overall he just wanted you to be happy. You were such a quiet child. You rarely smiled, even at my good jokes.”  Byleth grinned.  “But lately you’ve been smiling more. In fact, I think just during our little lunch here you’ve smiled more then I’ve seen you do in your entire life.” </p><p>Byleth wasn’t surprised to hear this.  She knew she was an emotionless child.  She didn’t even cry when she was injured.  It wasn’t until her crest manifested, right after her father died that she really started to feel anything.  </p><p>Byleth glanced at the little girl in her lap.  She was trying to tie a few pieces of grass together.  It was such an innocent and adorable thing… Byleth’s heart swelled.  That was when it hit her...she wanted this...wanted a family.  Wanted something she never had.  The whole revelation scared her to the point she almost jumped up and knocked the child out of her lap. </p><p>-</p><p>The memory changed to Byleth and Claude back in his room, pouring over intel and a map of the Eagles territory.  It had been a week since Byleth met Alois for lunch and she realized she wanted a family.  She’d been trying since then to ask Claude if that was something he wanted as well, but he had been so busy, it was difficult to talk to him about anything that wasn’t gang related.  </p><p>The Deer had been making great strides, especially since they aligned themselves with the Lions. The agreement gave Claude more man power and the ability to slowly pick away at other territory, gangs and things he wanted, as long as he didn’t take anything from Dimitri.  Claude had also started ‘loaning’ Byleth out to the Lions when they needed her.  It made her feel like a piece of property but since it was helping Claude she didn’t protest. </p><p>“Claude?” she finally began when he took a break from the map, sat down and gulped his coffee.  “Can I ask you something?”</p><p>“Of course Beautiful” he said, taking in her hesitant voice. </p><p>“Do you...do you ever think about having a family?” </p><p>Byleth noticed his eyes dull a bit.  He took another sip of his coffee before answering her question.  </p><p>“Honestly I’ve never thought about it, about having kids at least. My dreams...they are going to take a lot of work. I’ve come to terms with the fact that kids probably aren’t in my future at least not for a long time anyway.”  He reached out and lightly touched Byleth’s hand.  “But you don’t want kids either do you? You’ve chosen the life of a mercenary in the gang world. Having a child in this environment...it would be difficult and endangering to that child.” </p><p>Byleth felt her stomach drop.  Hearing him say those words made her realize two things, that for once in her life she questioned her vocation and that she really wanted to be a mother one day.  A panicked feeling jolted up her body.  Claude was standing next to her now, his warmth washing over her side.  </p><p>“Byleth...you don’t want kids right?”</p><p>Byleth swallowed hard.  If she said yes to him right now it would mean walking away from him.  It would be like slamming a door on their relationship.  Byleth shook her head.  She was happy right now.  She just started thinking about children.  There was no reason to walk away from this man she loved so much, her first love.  The first person she ever felt this deeply for.  Looking into his beautiful green eyes, she knew she couldn’t walk away.  Byleth reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck.  “No...I was just curious about you” she said as calm and certain as she could manage.</p><p>Claude kissed her and smiled.  “You had me worried for a second.”  He pulled her closer to him, his hand snaking under her shirt and along the skin of her back.  “But if you want, we can go pretend to make a baby right now” he purred across her neck.  </p><p>“Mmmm that sounds nice…”</p><p>--</p><p>Byleth woke up in an empty bed with a hollow feeling sitting on her chest.  That dream...she had wanted a family… The realization made her ache… Claude hadn’t wanted a family… Was that still true?  Byleth shook her head.  None of it mattered right now.  She was in no position to have a family anyway.</p><p>She crawled out of Claude’s bed, immediately wishing he had been there to snuggle with when she woke up.  His warmth was unmatched, but she doubted even he could shake this feeling that she couldn’t quite breathe right.  Byleth went to her room, showered, changed, then searched for Claude.  She needed an update.  </p><p>Byleth entered Claude’s library and found a handful of the Deer gathered there.  They caught her up to speed.  The Eagles had only managed to kill one of the Deer in the small sweep yesterday.  Ignatz believed it to be a warning meant to shake up Claude, exactly what Byleth had said the night before.  Claude still appeared very disturbed by the whole situation but it did seem to give him renewed purpose to dive back into his investigation.  Byleth wondered if Edelgard’s plan had backfired.  It wasn’t until a shaky hand grabbed hers did she have doubts.</p><p>“Byleth…” Linhardt said quietly.  “I…”</p><p>Byleth looked at him.  He was pale.  She assumed it was due to overuse of his magic from healing those injured in yesterday’s attack. </p><p>“I’m sorry Byleth” he said with a sadness in his eyes, that Byleth rarely saw from him.</p><p>“Lin what are you sorry for?”</p><p>“I did something...that has had repercussions I could not prevent.”  He looked at Claude now.  “The Lions have attacked the Eagles and declared an official war against them...the streets will rain with blood.”  He gripped Byleth’s hands tighter.  “It’s already started.”</p><p>---<br/>Byleth sat in the backseat of a car with Claude.  They were heading towards Magdred Way.  Not long after Linhardt’s confession, Ignatz reported to Claude that the Lion’s were attacking the Eagle’s at the area their territories met.  According to the assassin, it began as a slaughter by the Lions, but had since met with resistance.  Claude was heading there to provide assistance and hopefully persuade Dimitri to step back until they had a better plan in place.  </p><p>Byleth clenched her hands tightly, trying to understand why the Lions suddenly attacked.  Linhardt had made it sound like it was his fault although he didn’t really elaborate why.  All he said was that he returned something to Felix and he feared he set the swordsman off.  Byleth wasn’t sure how Felix could be solely responsible for this attack.  There was no way he’d get so much support for such a brazen move without Dimitri backing him.  </p><p>It felt like a rock was sitting in her stomach.  She was worried about the Lions...about Felix and Dimitri.  They were both emotionally unstable from Rodrigue’s death.  Maybe that was what set this into motion… She gripped her sword hilt tightly in her hand, ready for action.  Claude had asked her to hold back unless it was necessary, but she could see in his green eyes that it might be necessary.  The Deer leader was concerned too.  Everything seemed to be crumbling around them, around him.  It was obvious that Claude felt helpless to this recent string of actions.  Byleth used her free hand to hold his, comforting him just as much for him as herself. </p><p>The car stopped a block away from the action.  They both hurried out of the car.  Several other vehicles stopped behind them, dropping off more Deer support.  Yuri immediately warped Ignatz to the closest rooftop along with Hapi, before following after Claude and Byleth.  Raphael and Balthus were in front of them, a shield of sorts until they figured out the situation.  </p><p>Byleth couldn’t breath at the level of carnage she saw.  Blood and bodies decorated the small open square. Neither side had many fighters still standing. From the Lions it looked like only three people were ripping their way through the Eagles and TWSITD.  Dimitri was attacking without mercy.  Areadbhar glowing an angry red as it sliced through whatever flesh it could find.  The Lion lead was coated in blood.  If any of it was his, no one could tell by the way he moved unphased.  This was what people had warned her about, this dark twisted side of the sweet man Byleth cared for.  Dimitri looked like a feral animal, defending his territory as if it was his only purpose in life. </p><p>Dedue wasn’t far behind him, trying to keep the prince’s flank clear and protected, occasionally pulling people from Dimitri death slashes, obviously aiming to injury and not kill.  </p><p>Byleth’s heart stopped when she noticed the third person.  Felix too was coated in blood, his sword slicing open flesh in clean swipes, a crazed look in his eyes that almost matched Dimitri’s.  He was dealing with three attackers.  One almost landed a punch on his exposed left side, but an arrow pierced the attacker.  Byleth followed it to a rooftop and noticed a flicker of silver that had to be Ashe.  </p><p>“What do we do here?” Yuri asked, his face also sporting a slightly disturbed look that Byleth was certain matched her own.  </p><p>“We need to end this. I think our presence will be enough. Neither side looks capable of handling much more. Let’s charge in!” Claude shouted to his group.  </p><p>Byleth grabbed Yuri’s arm.  “Help me with Felix. I don’t think he’ll stop so if he refuses I need you to warp him behind us.”  The lavender haired man nodded and followed after Byleth.</p><p>The former mercenary was much faster than Claude’s troops.  She reached Felix before the enemy could retreat.  Byleth deflected an enemy arrow next to Felix’s head.  He almost slid his sword into her but quickly redirected his attack.  </p><p>“Leave!” he shouted.</p><p>“This is over Felix. They will retreat now that we are here.”</p><p>“That’s why you should leave!” he growled and started to chase the people who began to retreat.  </p><p>Yuri’s spell took him just before Felix could cut into another enemy.  Byleth immediately turned her attention to Dimitri who was being held back by Dedue, Raphael and Balthus, his insane strength requiring all three incredibly strong men to hold him in place.  Claude tried to calm him down but Dedue eventually needed to knock Dimitri unconscious and carry him off the battlegrounds.  Byleth followed him to the Lions territory line just to be met with an angry Felix.</p><p>His hand grabbed Yuri’s collar and he slammed the lavender haired man against a wall.  “Why did you warp me! I had them!”</p><p>Byleth immediately grabbed Felix’s arm.  “It was my call. Be mad at me!”  Felix’s blazing orange eyes turned to her and she forgot to breath.  There was so much pain and anger behind them.</p><p>“That wasn’t your call to make. You are not a commander in the Lions ranks! Why did you stop this?”</p><p>“Because it needed to be stopped Felix.  This was an ill conceived bloodbath that will have unknown and horrible consequences.  The gang war will now spill into the streets, most likely hurting a lot of innocent lives!”  Byleth finally managed to get Felix to let go of Yuri.</p><p>“Stop caring about this!” he shouted at her.  “You have an opportunity to get away from it all.  Just fucking leave and be happy! You have no ties to this.”  He pushed her chest, almost causing her to stumble backwards.  “Get the fuck out of here Byleth! Get the fuck away from us all!” </p><p>Byleth felt tears instantly sting her eyes.  The pain in his voice...that level of anger, she could not handle it directed at her.  This did not feel like Felix.  The man before her was broken.  And even though what he said hurt she couldn’t bring herself to move.</p><p>Felix shoved her again.  “Leave! Now!” </p><p>Byleth swallowed hard and shook her head.  Felix grabbed her shoulders so tightly she cried out in pain.  </p><p>“You stupid woman! You could have happiness. We don’t need you to be another casualty of this lifestyle. You don’t fit into this! You’re just a pawn for us all to use and fuck around with.”  He shook her hard.  “Don’t you fucking see that! Go and be an actual human for a change and not some puppet!”</p><p>Now the tears flowed freely, she couldn’t hold them back.  The intensity of his emotions was so sharp she couldn’t help but feel it.  But Byleth just couldn’t understand why he was suddenly saying this all to her.  Why did he want her to leave this whole mess? Why was he telling her to runaway...runaway…</p><p>“Runaway with me Byleth…”  A sharp pain exploded in her head as the words of a memory vibrated in her skull.  She was staring at an outstretched hand.  </p><p>“It’s the right time. We can’t stay here now… We need to get out and be happy before we lose the most precious thing to us now.”</p><p>The voice echoed in her head.  She heard herself saying yes and for a moment felt her hand connect with someone else's.</p><p>“For our future…” her voice said. </p><p>More pain shot through her, but this time it was her entire body.  She felt Felix’s strong arms catch her, as her knees gave out.  </p><p>“Fraldarius! What the fuck did you do?” Claude’s voice said, but it sounded so distant.</p><p>Byleth felt her body being moved to the ground, but Felix still had a hold of her.  </p><p>“I don’t know…” the swordsman said with a shaky voice that matched the way his body was now shaking.</p><p>Now that the fight was gone, all of Felix’s adrenaline was gone, his emotions were taking hold of what was left and wreaking havoc on his body.  </p><p>Byleth tried to hug him but her body wouldn’t move, instead it tittered on blacking out, more memories trying to pull her back from reality.</p><p>“You...you should take her… I’m fucking useless to her….”</p><p>Those were the last words Byleth heard before the darkness won. </p><p>--</p><p>Byleth stared up at the night sky.  It was difficult to see stars in the city but she tried her hardest anyway.  The glass in her hand had long been empty and her body felt cold from the cool night air.  She had no idea how long she sat up on this rooftop but it was doing a good job of numbing just about every feeling she had, so she would stay. </p><p>Her glass was suddenly pulled out of her hand, causing Byleth to flinch back in shock.  She calmed down when she noticed the dark silent man that was Felix Fraldarius.  He poured some of the contents of a flask into her glass and handed it back to her.  Byleth took it and sipped the rye whiskey.  Felix sat down next to her and took a swig of his own flask, then leaned back on his hands and looked up at the sky.  Byleth let her eyes flicker over him.  For a moment she wondered why he was there next to her, but then realized she didn’t care.  She liked him there.  </p><p>There was always something so incredibly soothing about Felix’s presence.  He never demanded much attention, unless they were sparring.  He never spoke needlessly.  He was typically open and easy to read, not a flourish of pretty words and promises like so many people in the gang world.  He was just...Felix.  This passionate man, dedicated to his goals, fighting for what he believed in.  Not many found comfort in his presence, but Byleth always did.  In fact she was certain if she was someone of power, she’d figure out a way to always have him next to her.  This constant silent comfort, this beautiful strong man…</p><p>It took Byleth a second to realize she was now looking into his eyes.  It must have been obvious she was staring at him.  He didn’t say anything, just looked back at her, a question swirling in his irises.  That was one of the great things about Felix, he never pushed for information if he didn’t think it was his place to.  He clearly knew she was on this rooftop because she was upset.  So he did not want to push her into talking.  </p><p>For a moment Byleth felt ashamed of herself.  She was still mopping, still hurt to the point that she liked to hide away from others.  In a way she knew she shouldn’t be ashamed but she was the Ashen Demon, the emotionless mercenary that would carry out any request without feeling a thing… what the hell happened?  Byleth took a large gulp of her whiskey.</p><p>“Do you...need to talk?” Felix asked awkwardly, clearly not one to provide emotional support.</p><p>Byleth felt her lips twitch.  “Don’t worry Felix. I won’t do that to you.”</p><p>Felix didn’t look amused or relieved.  “I’m...I’m serious Byleth.”</p><p>Oh...That look in his eyes...he really did mean it.  “Felix, I know how uncomfortable you are with...emotional stuff.  We don’t need to be that type of friends but I do appreciate it.” </p><p>Felix groaned.  “Byleth…this isn’t about me.”</p><p>Byleth smiled.  He was really trying.  It warmed her heart.  She reached out and placed her hand on top of his.  “You’re here Felix. That’s plenty.”</p><p>His expression softened and she felt her stomach flip.  He turned his hand over to hold hers.  </p><p>“If you change your mind…”  </p><p>Byleth finished off her drink then held out the empty cup.  Felix poured more whiskey into it, never letting go of her hand.  Maybe it was the whiskey but she couldn’t seem to pull her eyes away from his hypnotic ones.  Byleth bit her lip, realizing she really wanted to ask him something.  Normally she wouldn’t, but…</p><p>“Felix...I know how important it is for you to be the strongest...the best… But is that...is that all you want in life?”</p><p>Felix took another swig from his flask.  “No...it’s not. I’m only here to kill time, to get as strong as possible so I protect my family.”</p><p>“You’re already protecting your family.”</p><p>Felix scoffed.  “I don’t mean my father. The only people I really give a damn about in the Lions are Sylvain and Ingrid. What I mean is...my future family.”</p><p>“So you don’t want to stay with the Lions?”</p><p>“No. This is just a means to an end.”  He looked at her and gripped her hand tighter.  “Is this what you want? To stay in the gang life?”</p><p>Byleth swallowed hard then shook her head.  “No...I don’t think so...but everyone I care about is here.”</p><p>Felix turned his head back to the sky.  “Then maybe you need to find someone who is willing to leave the gang life one day.”</p><p>A little thrill trickled down her spine.  She wanted him to look back at her but he did not.  Instead she convinced herself that there was a hint of a smile on his face.  Byleth leaned back and fixed her attention on the half moon.  She took a deep breath and felt some of the weight on her heart vanish.  Felix really was a comfort….<br/>-</p><p>Byleth woke up with her head pounding.  She shifted in the bed and opened her eyes.  Everything was black...she must be in Felix’s room.  But she was alone.  A hollow feeling sat in her stomach...Between Felix just shouting at her to leave and that memory dream, Byleth felt more confused than ever.  She needed to talk to Felix but the throbbing of her head wouldn’t stop.  Maybe he would come back...maybe she should just wait here...and get more sleep...</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>What am I doing to Felix in this story! Poor guy. I promise I will make things better for him!</p><p> </p><p>We are getting somewhat close to then end! Thank you for reading and commenting!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>